Irenic Moons: Guess who's…..BACK! Yes it's me, I'm sure you're all OH so happy right? Well Boston Ballet's Dance Lab was TRES cool, I highly suggest going there for any who like ballet and wouldn't mind auditioning…The French trip was, ok…could have been better…But anyway, I'm rambling…I know why you're here! Ok, back on track. LET'S GO.

Only You: Chapter 8 – Conversations over Hot Chocolate

Ed's POV

Before I knew it, Aunt Pinako was shoving me through the doorway into Winry's room. I'd only agreed because I felt bad enough already, I didn't want to get in another fight with Pinako…I was pushed into the dim room, illuminated only by the thin rays of sunlight streaming in through the few cracks in the curtains. Now, it was broad daylight. It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the new light conditions, but when I could see the faded outlines of the pieces of furniture in the room, I gasped in fear.

The room. The same room I had seen in that dream, no, nightmare over a week ago. How had I forgotten? Was I just that oblivious to everything? I hoped I was just too busy to remember. But still…Those kinds of things, one should remember. I had to get out of here. Something was telling me to get out. What if the nightmare was a message? What if it was a glimpse of the future? That meant I would be present in the room when Winry…I couldn't be in here.

"Please," I begged, "I can't be in here!"

"Be quiet, you're in here whether you like it or not." Pinako replied. Her eyes were like ice crystals and her words felt like fire. I knew I couldn't argue. Shakily, I walked further into the depths of foreboding room. Staying as far away as I could from her bed, I found a dark corner which I unwillingly sank into. I replaced my ice packet on my throbbing cheek and watched with wide eyes as Pinako shook her head from side to side and shut the door on us. I heard the door click…Then suddenly, another click… 'The Old Hag locked me in here.' My heartbeats were causing my whole body to shudder. I kept having to take deep breaths. I felt so sick.

I could just use alchemy to get out, but some part of me couldn't leave the room. I needed to stop Winry from…killing herself…Or was this the room? Was this the room? 'Am I going crazy?' I thought. All of a sudden, I realized something. 'Winry couldn't hurt herself now, she had a gun, and she hasn't had the time to get one…' I felt a little better, but that didn't mean I wasn't still suffering from the knowledge that I let her get…hurt by those men. With my free hand I pulled my hair. 'Why is it that at times like these I can't cry? And when I shouldn't, I do?' It mad me even madder knowing I couldn't control my emotions.

My best friend. I kept asking myself how I'd let something like this happen. Horrible images came to my mind. 'What if she never speaks again?' I thought, remembering another unfortunate girl with pink bangs and brown hair. 'She will never forgive me.' She was one of the only people I had left in the world, and now I was even more alone than ever.

I was swarmed with guilt and helplessness, but no matter how bad I was feeling, I made sure not to ask myself the one question that was probably the most important. The one that had to do with the consequences of last night's events for Winry. I clenched my teeth and shut my eyes tight, and pretty soon, I'd fallen asleep after drowning in another heave of guilt.

……Hours Later, around 4pm……

In my dreams I began seeing everyone I had ever loved turn there backs to me with scornful faces. Pinako, Al, Winry, Mom…It wouldn't stop. I was stuck. Then suddenly I was…half awake, or half dreaming…but I saw someone coming towards me in the darkness. I wouldn't let that person hurt anyone, not this time…I activated my arm-blade and swung at them only to be met by…

"C-cassie?" My blade met her automail hand, luckily, saving both of us from my idiotic actions.

"Ed, it's ok! I've only-"

"What am I doing?" I put my hands to my face and sunk back against the wall.

"No, it's ok, I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that…Ed? Ed…everyone's gone, I thought, maybe you'd like to come downstairs and have a bite to eat…and maybe a little talk?" A little talk. The way she paused right before that…But the thought of staying in this room was even less appealing. I monotonously stood up, face down, as she turned to leave the room, checking once to make sure I was following. I met her outside the door barely noticing as she pulled it shut quietly. She spoke.

"It's better this way, she's not going to get up for a long time anyway."

"Where'd everyone go?"

"I, I don't really know. They all just left, and, and the servants too. I haven't seen anyone…" At least that was better for me. I couldn't face the stares, not now, not ever, I wanted to get away…

I followed Cassie into a small kitchen with a high rectangular table in the middle. There were two stools sitting opposite each other. She motioned for me to sit in one and I obeyed, slowly. She, herself, busied around the stove, pulling kettles out and heating things, but I didn't pay too much attention.

In a few minutes I found myself sipping out of a large, white mug filled with warm hot chocolate. It was good, but it just brought back memories of childhood, the innocence of those days. That was when I felt the tear run off my face and onto the wood table. I felt Cassie examining me. I roughly wiped the trace of the tear off my face.

"Sorry," I said abruptly, and then, "and thank you." She looked at me with such pity, like a mother to a child.

"You shouldn't be ashamed to cry, it means you care about the people you love."

"Love?" I asked, as if it were a foreign subject.

"Yes Ed, love."

"What do you know about love."

"I know she loves you." My mug jerked in my hands and I steadied it by setting it down on the table. There was a long silence between us, and then, almost to myself, I whispered.

"Not anymore…" But she heard.

"That's ridiculous. Of course she still loves you! Even if she tries to hide it now that these…things have happened, she still loves you! And that's why you need to help her now that she needs you instead of the other way around-"

"No. You have it all wrong. She hates me…She was telling me to get away, not to touch her…" My eyes were glazed over as I replayed last night's incident in my mind. Cassie responded.

"Last night? …Don't you see! She just didn't want YOU of all people to see her in that state. Pinako said, she told you, then ran…Ed, ED! Look at me!" My focus snapped back into place where my eyes were held by hers.

"She was ashamed to see you again after telling you how she felt and then the situation…"

"I think I'd better go-"

"Oh no you don't! We're not through here. Pinako said you might try and run away. She said not to let you out of my site!" I froze as I heard my own plans played out in front of me. Yes, I had indeed planned on running away, and that's what I was still thinking of doing.

"I'm sorry, but you really can't stop me." I stood up.

"STOP. You listen to me, Winry has become one of my closest friends, and I will not let you just ignore what has happened-"

"She doesn't want to see me! Don't you understand?" My hands were shaking now. Cassie stared down at the table.

"If you leave," she started, "I will have my father ask the military to send out as many soldiers as they can to bring you back." I was about to respond but she continued, "They probably won't be able to catch you, but how would you like that? To know you were being hunted down just because you didn't face your problems." Now she looked up to me, "So sit down, I said we're not through here."

She had such power in her voice. I couldn't ignore it, and I would not want to be hunted down by my own companions. I inched back towards the center of the room, but instead of sitting in the chair, I leaned against the kitchen counter.

"What…do…you…want?" She sighed and I looked up at her.

"I'm trying to make you see, Ed, last night, it couldn't have been predicted…It wasn't your fault at all!" I sniffed when I heard this. It was my fault. I don't know how it could be explained otherwise.

"Pinako thinks it's my fault."

"Pinako was wrong. She was just overwhelmed by what had happened! She couldn't blame it on her granddaughter!"

"Well, it doesn't matter whose fault it was because it happened, and now Winry hates me. That's that." It hurt my entire body to be saying these words. I tried to make it sound as if I didn't care…but who knows what I sounded like. Cassie slammed her fist down on the table, startling me.

"NO. That's not that! You have to fix it! You need to talk about it with her or you two will lose everything you could ever have had together!"

"And what would that be?" I snapped back at her. She went silent. For almost a minute it seemed like she just stared at me, still bending over from hitting the table. Then she straightened up.

"I think you know perfectly well what I'm talking about."

"No-"

"Do you love her?" I had seen the conversation rising to this.

"It doesn't matter what I think, I have a goal to pursue. I have to save my brother and I won't let anything get in the way…Not when he could be getting hurt."

"Oh so now you only care about your brother? What about her! What about you! You don't care if she gets hurt!"

"That's just emotional," I said jerkily. Then I turned my head away from Cassie, to the wall, and said quietly, "besides, I'm not good enough for her anyway."

"So you do care what she thinks of you!"

"I never said that!" I shouted while holding my fist up to her.

"You said she's better than you, which at least must mean you hold her in a high perspective!"

"It doesn't matter!"

"Shut up!" We just stared at each other with menacing glares for awhile. Then she sighed and broke the silence.

"Ok Ed, since I can't get through the thick skull of yours, why don't we do some imagining? OK? So here it goes. Let's say that you have safely brought your brother home and you and he are not in any danger whatsoever. Let's also say that...that…last night didn't happen. Would you love Winry then?" I sighed.

"It's not that simple-"

"Yes it is-"

"NO, it's really not. There will always be people I have to fight, always someone who needs to be stopped. I'm required to do that, stop them, as a state alchemist, and someday my enemies might come after the people I…my family."

"So…Protect them-"

"And," I finished, "there might be a day when I don't come back."

"But at least you would have had something with her, that's better than nothing." We paused.

"I don't want to hurt her."

"Ed…I don't know how to make you see…She's going to be more hurt if you try and stay away from her, that is if you do love her…Do you, tell me Ed."

"I……I"

"Yes?" There we were, suspended in time. I searched my feelings, took a breath of air, and…

"Oh hello ma'am, sir!" A short, older woman walked in through the door and began pulling clean glasses out of the dishwasher. A maid. I turned my attention back to Cassie.

"I have to go."

"No Ed!"

"Don't worry, I'm not running away. I promise." Cassie just smiled sadly at me. The maid just made a confused face and ignored us. I nearly turned to leave when Cassie called.

"Ed," she seemed to be searching for words, "Pinako told me to tell you…um…come back a week from today, but not sooner, ok?"

"Oh, yeah, sure."

"Remember, one week, or I'll send the army after you." I couldn't tell if she was joking or actually telling the truth. A combination of both probably.

I felt the guilt sweep over me once again as I stepped from the cozy house to the grey streets of the outside world. Here I was again. Alone. All because of my stupid mistakes. 'I will get my brother back.' I told myself, 'And I will get Winry back too.' That last part seemed just to jump right in. What had I meant by thinking that? 'As a friend.' I kept telling myself, 'Just a friend.' But I think part of me knew that that's not what either of us really wanted.

I looked up at the sky. It was getting dark. I would have to hurry to get back to the hotel I was staying at before nightfall. They might have a curfew…I took a deep breath of air and started walking forwards, eyes straight ahead. I'd been through terrible times, more than once. I would get through this one. All I had to do was just keep walking ahead…

Irenic Moons: Ok, so this wasn't the longest chapter. But hey, ya know, I just got back and I figured y'all would want SOMETHING rather than nothing. So yeah. I'll have you know I did think about what should happen next in the story while I was away…I think most of you will approve. But just so you know, I don't really do the whole, superfastgettogetherrelationship thing that some other stories have. Seems too unnatural. So anyway, that's my hint…By the by, has anyone see Conqueror of Shambala? Or do you know if someone is going to fansub it? If you do, PLZ comment. Thanks and bye!