Irenic Moons: Ha, well, yes…Here I am updating…I was thinking of updating more regularly but with shorter chapters, but I think that would just lead to me updating with the same frequency, but with shorter stories…and no one would like that. Ok. Just to warn you, this Sunday I leave again for a little less than a week for my required orchestra camp (chamber orchestra and such) so I'll be gone, but after that I'll be back for about two weeks before school starts. Ok, here we go.
Only You: Chapter 9 – Because
Cassie's POV
I watched him turn his back to me and leave the room. I heard our front door open and shut before I sighed in unhappiness.
"Anything wrong miss?" The maid asked me. I think her name was Millie, but I wasn't quite sure.
"Oh, um, no. No, nothing's wrong." She raised her eyebrow at me and looked at me with her hands on her hips. I sighed and began again.
"Well, I'm sure you've heard about what happened last night." She relaxed and listened to me while wiping the excess water of the clean dishes. "My friend Winry…well you know. But that boy that just left here was with her and he thinks that it's all his fault and that she hates him, which she doesn't, she actually loves him, but even if he didn't think it was his fault he still thinks they shouldn't be together, even though they should, and-"
"Miss, I understand." I had been babbling, a habit that I have tried to be rid of for some time. She continued, "And you're trying to make him see that it isn't his fault and they should be together?" I nodded. She sighed, "Youth really is wasted on the young…It's a good thing what you're trying to do, but that boy seemed much too thickheaded to listen to anything you say seriously."
"So…"
"You can try to mend the bond between them, but eventually, those two will have to confront each other, for better or worse, and whatever happens, happens." I forced a smile and turned to leave before I doubled back.
"What do you mean 'youth is wasted on the young'?" She laughed.
"Oh nothing, it's just you people should know it's better to enjoy life when you're at your prime. They should get together before they're old and boring." She was nice. The lighthearted joke made me smile truthfully.
"That's what I'd been trying to tell him…Well, thanks."
"Goodbye miss." I turned out of the kitchen and headed up the south stairway. After turning the corner I opened the door that led to Winry's room. I expected to see her sleeping, but on her bed, she sat bolt upright, hands clutching the sheets, and as I opened the door farther, her head slowly turned to me. Her eyes were open, but empty, tired and broken. I took a step towards her but stopped as her expression changed. She bent her head forward as her hands began to shake. Tears fell from her eyes and onto her hands. Through her clenched mouth I could just make out the words.
"Leave me alone."
……Four Days Later……
Pinako had confronted me that morning. She told me we needed to take Winry to the hospital to run some tests before she brought her back to Risembool. I agreed to help, knowing it would be no small task to get her out of the house. Winry hadn't come out of her room at all, at least, during the day. Franz, the butler, who is always on night watch, said he has seen her either sleepwalking or just moving about around the house, often for hours, after midnight.
We went into her room together, helped her bathe, dress, etc. as we had done for the past three days, but then as we asked her to come out of her room with us, she refused.
"Please Winry," Pinako begged, "we need to see if you're all right!"
"NO! I don't care! I don't care anymore! What's the point of living?"
"Don't be ridiculous! There's always a point! Now let's go."
"No! GET OUT!" As we had been standing in her doorway, she slammed the door in our faces. We both looked at each other and sighed. Pinako spoke.
"Well, we can try again tomorrow…"
"No wait, I want to try and speak to her, will you wait her for a few minutes?"
"Sure." I put my hand to the doorknob. Luckily this room locked only from the outside. I slowly turned it and pushed the door forward. There was Winry, on the floor with her head between her knees, crying. I shut the door softly behind me and sat down next to her.
"I'm not going." She said. I put my arms around her and thought about what to say.
"Let's talk." I began, "About you and Ed." She flinched upon hearing his name and began sobbing.
"N-no…h-he, hates me."
"He actually really doesn't, I had a talk with him…But even if he did, that wouldn't mean your life would be over."
"Y-yes, it w-would." The sobbing had turned into hiccupping.
"Listen, I know that you have been through terrible things, but at least you're alive."
"I would r-rather be dead!" I didn't take her seriously; she was just saying that for the sake of argument.
"Ok, let me tell you what I talked about with Ed." She flinched again. "He was going to leave because he thought you hated him and blamed him for what had happened. He also thinks it's his fault." She picked her head up from between her knees. "He couldn't face seeing you…I of course told him that wasn't true…It was nobody's fault. Now, I'll tell you I don't know if he…feels the same way about you as you do towards him, but…he said you were too good for him and that he would never want to hurt you."
"That's just h-his way of saying he hates me."
"No! I almost got a 'yes I do love her' out of him, but one of the maids walked in on our conversation!" Winry didn't reply. "Anyway, all I'm saying is that there's a good chance he does, so don't be so hard on yourself…Will you please come with us? Ed's coming in three days to help you guys move out." She had a blank expression on her face when she spoke.
"It doesn't matter. I'll go." She stood up, as if in a trance. I followed.
"Thank you Winry!" I hugged her, "It's gonna be alright!" I tried to hide the worry in my face as I spoke. We walked out of the door to an awaiting Pinako.
……Several Hours Later at the Hospital……
Pinako's POV
The three of us were seated in a row, Winry in the middle, and the two of us on either side. We were waiting for her test results. I wasn't there to see what Winry had to go through. The doctor said she could bring one guest, and she chose Cassie. I was glad. Just seeing my only granddaughter like this was too hard on me. I hadn't felt well since the incident. Suddenly the swinging doors opened, and out walked a young female doctor who came up to us.
"Hello, Winry, Cassie, and you must be Pinako Rockbell." I nodded. Cassie and I were on the ridge of our seats to hear her results. "Well, it looks like everything is negative. You're fine to go home. Make she gets a lot of rest and isn't put under any stress." I could tell we all were relieved, even Winry (though she didn't show it). We thanked the doctor and began to leave. I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was the doctor.
"Mrs. Rockbell?"
"Umm-hmm?"
"I feel it necessary to warn you…Rape victims…often have…a lot of self esteem issues after the attacks. Many times they separate themselves from others and then blame the loneliness they feel on themselves…"
"Yes?"
"Well, sometimes it leads to self mutilation or suicide, so I just want you watch her very carefully for a few months. I tell the same thing to all victims' families."
"Thank you doctor, I will make sure I do."
"Ok, then good luck."
"Goodbye."
……3 Days Later, Around 11am……
Ed's POV
I was walking in the streets near Cassie's house. I didn't know what to do. I had to go to them sooner or later or…who knows what. The past week had been hell. Not that I had any work to do. Somehow word got around the military about what had happened so I was let off easy. At least that's what I thought until Mustang called me up to his office to give me a "responsibility speech" saying how as a state alchemist and friend of "Ms. Rockbell" that I should have paid more attention to what had been happening. Also that if I didn't start being responsible, that more terrible things like this would happen. Although he did say "given the circumstances, the consequences may not have been avoided" he still made me feel like shit.
And what did he know about the "circumstances" anyway? I didn't want to find out, so I left without arguing (which surprised both of us) and headed back to the hotel I was currently staying at.
That hadn't been the only bad part about my week though. Aside from living in an almost constant state of guilt, I was having more dreams. Two or three times it was the one with Winry, but then there were others too, homunculi attacking me and stealing a glowing red…stone from my hands, a man with his back turned to me, carefully examining something…But the last one was of Al and the gates. He was just floating there, watching the pasts and futures of everyone go by…
Now I was on Cassie's street. Her house was a mere 100 yards away. 'Do I dare go in there?' I asked myself. 'What am I going to have to face?' I thought for awhile but then realized 'Do I dare NOT go in there?' The answer was no. I began heading towards the house, pausing every few steps to ask myself again. I always started walking again. Before I knew it, I was standing on the doorstep of the enormous house I had come to know over the past weeks. It held both comforts and terrors.
'It's now or later' I told myself. I held my hand up to the door to knock then pulled it away. 'Damn!' I thought, 'Why does this feel this way? Maybe I'm too cowardly to go in…' But before I had the chance to turn away Cassie herself opened the door for me and pulled me in.
"I saw you standing outside for like three minutes! I thought you'd never knock!"
"I-um, sorry…" She led me to the sitting room. I sat in a lone armchair while she chose I spot on the large sofa across from me. She spoke.
"I suppose you should know...Pinako wants you here today to help them pack up. You guys are all leaving today."
"All of us?"
"Well that was the general PLAN for you to stay with them while researching…whatever it is you're researching."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that."
"Pinako should be here in a minute, I think Franz went to tell her you're here." There was a silence, and then I asked the question I both wanted and feared to ask.
"How…is she?"
"You mean Winry…She…Well, we took her to the hospital a few days ago, and everything showed up fine. There's nothing to worry about…" I felt somewhat relieved; at least some of my guilt was taken away. Cassie continued, "…But she hasn't been acting normal, which isn't surprising."
"How so?" Fear was beginning to well up inside of me again.
"She walks around the house after midnight…Sometimes for hours. But she doesn't go out during the day. We tried locking her in once, but she got really angry and we think she punched the door with her left hand…which made it bleed. She eventually opened the lock anyway, so we've just let her do whatever…She also barely eats." I couldn't believe this is what my best friend had turned into, what I had caused her to turn into.
"Does she talk?" I asked quietly.
"Yes, she actually does, but she's really moody, it's either she's really angry at you or completely…out of it." Cassie checked the grandfather clock in the corner. "I wonder what's taking her…I go look. Wait here.
And so she left, leaving me alone in the room, with nothing but the sounds of the grandfather clock, ticking away, to keep me company. But not for long, I heard footsteps coming from one of the other corridors. I turned my head to see Mr. Franklin walk into the room.
"Fullmetal sir! It would be a larger pleasure to see you if we weren't all in such a time of tragedy..."
"Yeah-"
"However, I believe that I have something that would be considered good news in your books." I had no idea what he was talking about. I barely knew this man, yet here he was talking to me. What could he know that would help me?
"Recently I've spoken to some of your higher ups, you know Brigadier General Mustang of course?" 'So that's how he found out.' I thought to myself. He continued, "Well, he was talking to me about you, your goals, history and such, and-"
"Dad! What are doing to Ed?" Mr. Franklin stopped then bent down and whispered to me.
"Before you leave, make sure you come see me in my armory. Franz can direct you." He straightened up and spoke, "I'm just leaving honey. All of you take care!" And with that he left as he had come. Had I been younger, I would have been much more interested in that little conversation, but at the present, I had other things to worry about.
Cassie and Pinako walked in and sat down on the sofa.
"Hello Edward," said Pinako, "I presume you are still coming with us to Risembool?"
"Oh, well, yeah. I mean, if you don't mind…"
"You don't have a choice!" I was startled, but she sighed and kept going, "Well you got here just as I finished packing up! Fancy that! We have a little time until the train leaves. I assumed you wouldn't have gotten ready."
"Well, um, I could be ready in 5 minutes-"
"Oh really! In that case we could take the train that leaves in an hour and a half!"
"Wha-"
"Go get Winry and tell her she needs to get down here because we're leaving." My heart skipped a beat. She'd trapped me, but this time, I would have to face her. I stood slowly and nodded, knowing the fear was clearly visible on my face. I lost track of where I was as I took the somewhat familiar route to her room. Before I knew it I was standing in front of the door. I didn't want to go in that room. Not after having those dreams again, something was telling me to leave, but I couldn't.
I put my hand up to the door and knocked. There was no answer. I knocked again. I waited and spoke.
"W-winry? I'm…coming in, so I hope you're…ok with that." I pushed the door open and stepped inside. There was an open suitcase on the floor that I could tell had been recently packed. Other bags like it were around the room. I didn't see her.
"Winry? Are you in here?" My apprehension was building. I walked quickly to look through the open bathroom door, but froze when I heard the bedroom door click shut. I turned around to see Winry, facing the door, with her head down. She'd been behind the door when I'd come in.
"Oh, h-hey Winry, Pinako told me to tell you that we're leaving now and that you should come…down…stairs..." She didn't reply. She just stood there and held on to her left elbow with her right hand. There was a long silence. I knew I had to talk. I took a deep breath and began.
"Winry," I stopped. This was so hard. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "You are right to blame me for…what happened. It's all my fault. I understand if you hate me, but I don't want you to hate me, because we're best friends, and we always have been…I just…I just want you to know I'm sorry, and…" I trailed off. I watched as she raised her head up and let go of her elbow. She still stared at the wall, but now she spoke, uneasily and jerkily.
"I d-don't care about…that…I only care about…us."
"Winry, I-"
"Stop! Just stop! I just want to know, why can't we be together? I want you so much…If you don't love me, then fine. That's the way it is, but if you do then…" I was at a loss for words. In the process of talking she had moved over to her bed. I was still several feet away from her.
"Winry, I've told you before, it's extremely complicated…"
"NO! It's not, it really isn't, just tell me Ed. I have to know."
"Winry-"
"TELL ME ED! Now! Do you love me or not?"
"Winry please calm down-"
"GODDAMMIT ED! TELL ME!" And that is when the gun came out. She pulled it from seemingly nowhere, and pointed it at me and spoke through labored breath.
"I…don't care…what…your answer is…I…just need to know." I sighed.
"I always knew if someone were to shoot me it'd be you." She lowered the gun.
"You won't even answer me when I point a gun at you?" Her body was shaking now. I looked out the window. Two birds flew across the very blue sky.
"Then I guess there's really no point to me living!" My attention snapped back to Winry. The dream! How did I forget! I had to stop it, this was the exact moment. I turned just as she was putting the gun to her heart and I leapt onto her as I heard the gunshot.
I looked down. I had Winry pinned to the bed. Arms outstretched. 'The gunshot' I thought, 'the gunshot.' I was too afraid to lift myself off her body to see the damage. But I did, and as I did I felt a searing pain on the right side of my neck. The bullet had clipped my neck. It hadn't hit her. I started crying and let out a huge sigh of immense relief. I had stopped it. I had changed the dream. It was going to be ok.
I was still pinning Winry to the bed, but now I was about a foot higher than her. I spoke in a gravely voice because of my tears.
"Winry, there is always a point to live. Sometimes you just have to look harder to find it." I looked into her eyes. She was crying too, but looking up at me. "I've been through true pain, and now, unfortunately you have too." I was finding the strength to speak now, "But it's now when you have to get up from being pushed down and start walking again…Just…keep…on…walking." A drop of my blood fell from my neck and onto hers at the same time as one of my tears fell onto her cheek.
"Winry," I continued, "I wouldn't be able to walk without you, I rely on you, so please, keep on walking." At this time she gulped and cleared her throat.
"What…if I c-can't walk any…more?" I got up off of her and sat down next to her and cradled her in my arms. Tears were pouring from my eyes, making it almost impossible to see.
"Then I will carry you Winry. I will carry you until you can walk again because…" I paused and searched my feelings for one last time.
"Because I love you, I love you Winry."
Irenic Moons: How's that for satisfied readers, eh? I knew I had to get that done before I left…AND this chapter was wayyyy longer than that last one (and much more interesting if I do say so myself). I may be able to get another chappie up before Sunday, but DON'T get your hopes up. I'm all used up after writing this one (no, jk, I might actually get another chapter up)! Ok well, once again…Good reviews are the only ones welcome! Sayonara and good night!