Author's Note: This will be, more or less, a sister collection to my story 'Ticks of the Clock'. Originally they were all going to be chapters in said fic, but because they (and there is a growing number of them) have a common factor (the fact that they take place during those 6 "alone" months), I figured I'd group them by themselves to avoid confusion. Other than that, they will be written in a nearly identical format to those moments in TotC, will still be ranging from humor to angst to romance to stupidity, and will continue to be nothing more than seconds passing between Rosette and Chrono.
I hope you enjoy this new collection.
WARNING: Spoilers (ranging from subtle to glaring) for the last episode of the Chrono Crusade anime.
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Sunsets
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Regret
There was so much that I wanted to say to you during those six precious months. And I tried, Chrono—I really did. I tried a number of times, in a number of ways.
At first I was going to write it out, make a note, and leave it by the bed. But I got scared and burnt the parchment.
Then I attempted to scream it during an argument, just to get it off my chest. But I lost my voice and stalked away.
Once, I even started to say it; right out of the blue, for no reason at all— while watching you do some chores in the field, looking both frustrated and determined. But at the time I decided I'd rather watch you than interrupt with 'pointless words'. After all, you knew, didn't you? We'd been together so long, shown each other our feelings in a number of ways. . . and actions speak louder than words, right?
Right?
. . . yes. Yes, they do. However, that doesn't change the fact that I was simply being cowardly. I wanted to tell you so badly, Chrono! . . . so badly.
In the end. . . in the end, I was only able to verbalize my emotions when you couldn't hear; like at bedtime. In those long, fleeting moments when you'd curl beside me, hair both draping over the edge of the hay mattress and tickling your nose; content and dreaming and smiling and beautiful.
I'd tell you then, every night, in a whisper— twirling the ends of your locks between my fingers. I'd tell you:
I love you, Chrono. . . I love you so much.
Sometimes you'd respond with a little mumble or groan; other times you'd simply snuggle closer to my warmth. Still others you'd be too far gone to react at all. But I didn't care—it didn't matter. You still didn't truly hear me, did you? So my words were for naught.
I swore to myself I'd tell you that day. . . the day that I knew would be. . .
Would be my. . .
But as time ticked onward and the lights began to fade, I had to accept the fact that I'd never be able to un-stick the admission from the back of my throat. All I could do was cry, hold you close, squeeze your fingers when you squeezed mine, and whisper—
Thank you.
I knew in my heart that you understood what I meant, Chrono, but. . . regardless. . . as I closed my eyes for the last time, breathing in your scent and tasting salty tears, I felt a dropping sensation in my belly that I quickly realized had nothing to do with fear. It was caused by regret.
My first, my only, my final.
I love you, Chrono.
If only I had told you while I still had the chance.
(NOTE: . . . I just finished watching DVD 7. And yes, I cried during the last episode. God. . . I knew it was coming—from the story line and the accidental spoilers I'd seen on the internet, including an image of Rosette's grave, but. . . but I still couldn't believe it happened, you know? And in the end, the only thing I was mad about was how Rosette didn't manage to tell Chrono she loved him, or vice versa for that matter. And that they didn't really kiss. (That one illness-curing kiss doesn't count, it wasn't cannon.) So I had to play with the theme. . . Though I'll also probably be playing with the ideas I have regarding if she DID tell him. She (or he) might have—after all, she never said WHAT she didn't tell him that she wanted to. Or he could have told her and she just didn't have the courage at the time to respond, or something. I dunno. . . Why are you still reading this note? I'm just rambling, now. XD )