Fight the Call:
Haruka awoke the next morning from a dreamless sleep only to notice she was mostly undressed in bed. The covers were pulled over her and she could feel both the itch of healing wounds and the bandages, which had been placed on her to prevent further bleeding. Things started to come back to the blonde and she had to wince at her own antics. She'd wanted to escape her problems, not bind herself to a bed for a week's time.
"Haruka-papa?" Asked a sleepy voice, causing teal eyes to notice for the first time the dark haired girl curled up near the foot of her bed. Hotaru sat up and hopped off the bed, still dressed the way she had been when Haruka dropped her off last night. "Are you feeling okay? Ami-san said if you were in too much pain when you woke we should call her."
"I'm fine Hime-chan." Haruka smirked and tried to sit up only to wince and give in to the small hands that pushed her shoulders gently back down. She looked up at her daughter with a slightly amused expression. "Okay, so maybe I should stay lying down for a while longer."
"You are staying in bed for the rest of the day, Ten'ou Haruka." Michiru warned sternly from the doorway causing both occupants of the room to let out surprised, and in one case mildly pained, yelps. Michiru turned her blue gaze to her daughter and raised an aqua brow at the teen girl before her. "And I thought you went to bed last night, young lady."
"I was going Michiru-mama." Hotaru looked up with the expression she'd once worn when she and Haruka had been caught trying to sneak cookies from the kitchen. The dark haired girl gave a small shrug of her shoulders. "I didn't want Haruka-papa to be alone if she woke up."
"Is that right?" Michiru smiled just slightly as Hotaru looked down at the floor again. She walked over and hugged the teen for a moment then gently nudged her toward the door. "Go shower get and ready for breakfast, I want to talk to your Haruka-papa for a moment."
"Hai!" Hotaru looked back toward Haruka once before she left the room again. Haruka closed her eyes and hoped for the best, it was almost never good when Michiru felt the need to send Hotaru out of a room. Sure the two adults didn't argue often, but that didn't mean Haruka didn't get the occasional lecture from one of the other two women.
"I already told you I am not going to coddle your feelings, you're an adult." Michiru began and Haruka bit her tongue to suppress the biting comment that came to mind. Clearly Michiru thought this all stemmed from her feelings for the violin player. Haruka didn't want to explain, if the artist wanted to know she'd ask. She squeezed her teal eyes shut more tightly as her friend continued. "You can't keep doing this Haruka, you know better than anyone how dangerous it is to deprive yourself of sleep and then choose to participate in the motor sports you so love."
"I haven't chosen any of this." Haruka commented mildly to the now pacing senshi of the sea. "Michiru, you don't know what you're talking about."
"So you aren't dwelling on that whole argument a month ago?" Michiru asked accusingly as she stopped to watch the blonde. "And would you look at me at least? For god's sake Haruka I don't see what you have to be mad about."
"I'm not mad at anyone." Haruka replied dryly as she opened her eyes and they locked with two deep blue orbs. With a smirk the blonde decided to press things. "Except perhaps myself. Why, my dear princess of the sea, would I even care about what happened a month ago?"
"You know why." Michiru shot back, glancing at the door to insure it was closed. Sure, Setsuna and Hotaru both knew about Haruka's feelings, knew that Michiru had turned her down, but that didn't make her feel a need to share this argument. "You know perfectly well."
"Oh?" Haruka looked toward the window before her gaze came back to land on the irate young woman standing in the middle of her bedroom. "I'm not so sure, why don't you remind me. You can say it, you know you can."
"Fine you're jealous." Michiru accused her bedridden partner with a glare. "You came home, I had an old friend over and you over reacted."
"An ex-boyfriend, Michiru." Haruka reminded her in an all too friendly tone. The blonde continued to smirk, as her calm partner seemed ready to yell but instead just let out a long suffering sigh. "And jealousy had nothing to do with my actions at the time."
"Oh, and what do you call it? You have already stated that you feel more than just platonic feelings toward me."
"Let's be exact here, Michi. I didn't state anything I showed it by kissing you." Haruka took a breath and looked away from her partner. "And I don't seem to remember you being able to answer me for months. But that's beside the point, all I was thinking of a month ago was the fact that he'd hurt you and would most likely do it again."
"I can take care of myself, Ten'ou-san."
"Which you made clear a month ago." Haruka's eyes snapped back to the shorter woman and she lost all hint of a grin. With somewhat cold eyes and steel in her voice the blonde continued. "Don't worry, I have no intent of interfering in your personal life again."
"What?" Michiru became confused and sat lightly on the edge of the bed, gazing down at the defiant face of her friend. "Wait, what do you mean you have no intent of interfering? You're part of my personal life, Haruka. You are one of my best friends and you know I'll be here if you need me."
"Think about your own words, Michiru." Haruka shut her eyes and settled down as if to sleep. There was no feeling in the blonde's voice as she spoke again. "We're both adults, and I don't need you to hold my hand. Now, I am going to try to sleep a bit more, seeing as I can't do anything more useful at the moment."
Michiru stood and left the room with out a word, feeling as if she'd been slapped. Once she'd closed the door she leaned back against it and closed her eyes. She couldn't stop herself from asking how they got to this point. She'd never meant to hurt the blonde, but it was obvious she had. Still, Michiru didn't understand, none of Haruka's reactions made sense to her.
"She isn't you, Michiru. You can't expect her to act the same." The senshi of the sea wasn't surprised when she opened her eyes to find it'd been Setsuna's soft voice that made that statement. She shook her head and walked away, passing Setsuna on the way down the stairs. The taller senshi opened the door again and poked her head in, glancing around the dark atmosphere inside.
"Go away Michiru." Came a muffled husky voice from beneath a pillow.
"I hate to disappoint you but I am not a short and currently perturbed violin player." Setsuna spoke and heard a muffled apology float from beneath the pillow. She smiled a bit as she entered and placed a tray on the nightstand. "If you don't want your breakfast I'm sure someone around here is hungry enough to eat it for you."
It didn't take long for a blonde head to reappear from beneath the pillow and Haruka to try to sit up again. Setsuna smiled a bit as she helped the racer to sit up properly and set the tray on her lap, moving the glass of juice to the nightstand.
"Can you manage with out choking, dare devil?" She joked as she stood near the bed. Haruka only nodded and began to eat, her movements slowed by the amount of healing scrapes and scratches spread over her body. Setsuna walked out and quietly shut the door. Maybe sometime over the week of bed rest her two housemates would work things out, though the chances seemed slim.
The end of that bedridden week could not come fast enough for the blonde as she was taunted again and again by the same nightmarish dreams with each wink of sleep she earned. Still she'd had to subject herself to it or stay confined to that bed until Ami declared her fit to stand on her own two feet. Now, only days later, Haruka woke again in a cold sweat and with the too well imagined taste of alcohol upon her tongue. She growled and focused two glaring teal eyes onto the red numbers of her alarm clock.
"Prefect. Awake at midnight again." She muttered to herself. She blew out a puff of air as she rose quietly from her bed and padded across the floor. She quickly grabbed a pair of sweats and a tank top and was soon dressed for her nighttime exercise. Sneakers in hand the blonde crept down the steps, silent as a shadow and paused as she reached the bottom step. Before her was Michiru's back as she spoke to someone outside the front door.
"Thank you very much for the wonderful night, Masato." Michiru spoke though her tone sounded forced to the blonde who merely remained silent in a dark area near the stair. Her suspicions were confirmed as Michiru locked the door, shut her eyes with a troubled sigh and turned to lean her back against it. The shorter woman sagged against the dark wood and only truly seemed to relax after a car was heard driving away.
"Long night?" Haruka spoke softly so as not to wake the other occupants of the house and caught her mistake right away. Michiru had been in her own troubled world and had not even noticed Haruka's presence, not even a twinge. The blonde was still insanely fast however and easily had a hand pressed over her friend's lips before the startled scream could escape her. Haruka realized she now had the poor woman pinned up against the door with her own body and leaned close to her ear before speaking in a husky voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, angel."
Michiru relaxed at the sound of the familiar voice before glaring into the teal eyes before her. She was slightly relieved to see the momentary spark of playfulness in those teal depths but it was quickly washed out again by something darker. Haruka pulled her hand slowly from Michiru's lips and watched her for a time but made no comment.
"What are you doing up?" Michiru asked as she tried to ignore the fact that they were breathing so closely that both felt the heat of the other's breathe on their skin. She tried to search those eyes again as they diverted toward the wall beside them. "You should be resting, Haruka."
"I have slept more than enough this past week." Haruka muttered in annoyance as she freed her captive and picked up the sneakers she'd discarded. Turning away she started toward the back door and Michiru followed with out comment. "Are you going to watch me now? Shouldn't you go sleep?"
"Not tired yet." Michiru lied as she easily suppressed a yawn and watched the taller woman's back. "Am I not allowed to watch you work yourself free of some energy?"
"As they say in America, Michiru: Whatever floats your boat." Haruka put her shoes on at the back door and they stepped out. Silently the two made their way to what looked much like a large garage in the back yard. The yard itself was easily large enough to hold another house or two. Haruka opened the door and out of habit held it for Michiru who walked in and turned on the bank of lights above them. Inside was a well stocked mini gym with a weight bench, stationary bike, sparring mat, speed bag and Haruka's favorite punching bag. The blonde shut the door and turned to find Michiru holding out the white tape like wraps she always used. Haruka silently nodded her thanks and began to wrap her hands quickly.
Michiru was quiet as she sat upon the weight bench and watched Haruka go through some quick stretches and warm ups. Her own mind started to wander to other times she had joined the blonde out here. There had been nights the two women had talked through the night as Haruka unleashed frustration on that same black bag and its small companion speed bag. There had even been nights that Michiru had watched Haruka, not saying a word to the blonde and the blonde not questioning why her friend would follow. In truth there had been times, more than Michiru felt secure admitting, when she had wondered to herself about why she'd turned away from the blonde's feelings. Michiru had no question about why she'd not pushed Haruka away when the tall woman kissed her a few years ago, she'd enjoyed that moment. That moment had become her guilt and her mental scar to bear alone, knowing the knowledge would only give Haruka a false hope.
Now Haruka's movements were not as fluid as she remembered, the blonde acting as if a stranger's eyes were upon her back. Michiru frowned as she thought of this fact, had she really become a stranger to the wind senshi? Again Michiru clearly heard that husky voice in her ear calling her an angel as it once did so regularly. She'd always said she wasn't an angel but Haruka had only laughed and kept to the nickname. Michiru closed her eyes as she replayed the events of the night in her mind again.
"Why don't we go for a walk, angel?" Masato asked as his dark eyes looked over Michiru's evening dress covered form. Her blue eyes, troubled the whole night, snapped to the man beside her. Somehow it didn't feel right when he called her that but she didn't know why.
"I'm getting a bit tired, I think I'd like to go home Masato-san." Michiru said as her eyes alighted on the moon glowing distantly above their heads. She heard the man sigh a bit dejectedly.
"Just a short walk?" Masato said pleadingly to Michiru who took pity upon the man and nodded.
They walked quietly across the beach, where each one of her dates seemed to think she'd feel a romantic atmosphere, and Michiru let herself drown in her thoughts. She still felt a stab at the thought of Haruka not being part of her personal life anymore, a weird twisting feeling as if something were incredibly wrong. Even the sounds of the waves lapping lightly on the sand of the beach did nothing to lift the guilt Michiru continued to feel as she thought things over. She was interrupted from her thoughts as Masato decided suddenly to lean in and kiss her quite eagerly. With a muffled yelp Michiru jumped back from the startled man.
"What's wrong?" He asked as he looked at her with clear shock. "I thought you'd like that."
"I'd like to go home now, please." Michiru said calmly as she turned back to walk toward Masato's car.
"Sure."
"Hey, I know we have this little pact to stay out of each other's lives but that far off stare is starting to kill me." Haruka's voice broke into her thoughts as the blonde gently touched her cheek and tilted her head up to make their eyes meet. Haruka was kneeling in front of her, concern poorly hidden within her teal eyes. "You okay? I can go get Setsuna, even if she does kill me for waking her."
"I'm fine, Haruka." Michiru said, her voice a bit more cold then she intended. The blonde nodded and moved to stand but Michiru placed one hand on her right shoulder to stop her. Haruka glanced back up and her eyes widened a bit as Michiru leaned over and kissed he cheek lightly. She whispered in a pained voice. "I'm sorry Haruka, I know I hurt you and I know you were trying to look out for me."
"Then you're not mad anymore that I beat him up?" Haruka questioned in a weird tone as she leaned away. Michiru's breath on her neck was a bit much for the blonde to take.
"Don't push your luck, Blondie." Michiru joked in a somewhat weak voice trying to sound stern as she looked at the blonde. She shook a finger at Haruka's nose and spoke again. "How am I ever supposed to get a date if you go beating up every guy I break up with?"
"Hey now, I'm not exactly against driving guys away but I'm not aiming to do it." Haruka joked lightly and wiped away a stray tear, which had began to escape Michiru's eye. She smiled up at her friend, shook her head and tried again to coax her back to being the normal calm musician she knew. "Hey, there's always me or Internet dating. I can't beat up a cyber guy, you know."
"Be serious!" Michiru admonished in a strained voice that shut the blonde up. Worried for her friend Haruka stood and pulled Michiru into a tight hug. Michiru began to cry and Haruka was shocked out of her mind. She didn't know what to think as Michiru spoke again in that strained voice. "I don't want you out of my private life, Haruka. I don't want my best friend to treat me like a stranger."
"Hey, hey." Haruka pulled back and held Michiru's face gently as she stroked tears away with her thumbs. Two sad blue eyes gazed back at her as she spoke in a calming voice. "You're not a stranger, sure we haven't been talking much but I know who you are."
"We don't talk at all, Ruka." Michiru shook her head defiantly, disengaging Haruka's hold on her and looking up at the taller women as her tears stopped slowly. She took a few deep breaths, still gazing into those confused eyes. "We don't tell each other anything anymore. It's always hello and good-bye. Always quick, curt replies and unasked questions. It's getting to me Haruka and I miss hearing your voice and seeing you happy and I don't want to be any part of making you feel that way."
"Michiru, what are you getting at." Haruka started to look away, seemingly ready to turn away from the suddenly frantic seeming violin player. "Calm down and take a breath will you?"
Before Haruka could turn back toward the punching bag Michiru grabbed her face and pulled her down. Teal eyes shot wide open as their lips met and she couldn't think. Against her better judgment Haruka shut her eyes and let herself fall into the kiss. Michiru felt Haruka's arms slip around her waist and deepened the kiss. Both women put aside their conscious thoughts for a moment, just letting themselves feel this moment. Haruka and Michiru broke the kiss when both began to feel light headed from the lack of air they were experiencing. It took a moment for both to process what had just happened but as soon as their minds kicked back into working order blue eyes went wide.
Michiru broke free of Haruka's loose hold, the blonde letting her go as she fled from the small gym. As the door swung shut behind her companion Haruka spun and delivered a strong blow to the hundred pound punching bag behind her. A sort of thud sound echoed in the silence of the empty room as Haruka shut her eyes again and ignored the single tear that slipped from her own eye.
Inside her own room Michiru sank to the floor, her back against her bedroom door. Her head made a light thud sound as she allowed it to fall back against the wood. She tried to block out the feelings that were now sweeping through her, drowning her inside, but she couldn't. Her heart was pounding even faster than it had the first time, but at the same time she felt as if it had been stabbed. As if she driven a blade into her own chest and twisted it over and over again. At this moment, as her breathing began to slow down and the tears started to fall again, Michiru swore she would rather have her heart crystal ripped again from her chest than feel how she did now. She couldn't believe that she had done that to Haruka, or to herself.
At well past three in the morning, Haruka tiredly dragged her feet up the steps and back to her room. She glanced toward the door next to hers, Michiru's, but no light spilled below the door. She moved quietly, thinking to herself that at least one of them should sleep through the night. She didn't know that as she quietly shut her door those blue eyes opened and gazed at the wall that separated their rooms. She didn't know that as she sat with her back against that wall and tried to meditate her partner sat against the other door with puffy blue eyes. And neither saw the other's troubled look or knew that their thoughts dwelled on each other.
Haruka knew only that she didn't want to sleep tonight. That she didn't want the nightmare to return even compared to how troubled her waking hours were. Teal eyes landed on the still sealed bottle, which sat on her dresser. It was a get-well gift from her parts supplier. A gift which now taunted the blonde each time she woke and yet she couldn't make herself get rid of it because of that cursed curiosity which battled with her fears. Again that bottle looked all too inviting, as if it could make the blonde's thoughts stop. Haruka violently shook her head to clear away that thought.
'Alcohol helps nothing!' She reminded herself fiercely. 'It has destroyed too many people who thought it held the answer and you would be no different.'
Author's note:
Give me a little credit; I'm not going to kill someone just because this is a darker fiction. I don't promise not to but hey, people can survive a lot if they are strong. Thank you for all the reviews, they mean a lot to me.