Love it or Fear it:
The tall blonde held her throbbing head as she sat on a bed in the emergency room, her teal eyes were glazed over from the after effects of the night. Fingers lightly grazed the bandage, which was wrapped around her head, and she couldn't remember why she was here or what she was waiting for.
"Mild concussion, nothing too serious." A doctor was saying quietly from the other side of the curtain. "Really it's a miracle she survived, they say the car was a total loss after it hit the telephone pole."
"And the other young woman?"
"Dead on arrival." The doctor responded sadly. "Two miracles were too much to ask for."
"Who should tell her?"
"I will." Interrupted a familiar voice, though Haruka couldn't quite remember who's it was. This was followed by the appearance of a tall woman from behind the curtain. Green hair was fully down and clothes seemed hastily arranged about her, even her slightly blood shot red eyes suggested she'd been called here at an unexpected and un-godly time. She stepped in front of the blonde and laid one hand lightly upon her shoulder. "How are you feeling, Haruka?"
"I need a drink." Haruka muttered as she let her teal eyes slide shut.
"Do you remember what happened at all?" Setsuna asked as she sat on the bed with the tall blonde. "Anything?"
"I was at a party, Michiru came with me." Haruka opened her still blurry eyes as she gazed at the curtain that surrounded the small area. She shook her head to clear it and collect her thoughts, grasping for the straws of fuzzy memories. "I had a drink or two, Michiru said we should go home. I don't know why I'm here, or where Michiru is."
"Haruka, I came because the police called me." Setsuna started in a soft voice. She slid an arm about the other's shoulders in a comforting gesture. "While you were on your way home something happened and you struck a telephone pole. The police say you were above the legal limit to drive when they arrived. You and Michiru were rushed here to Tokyo General."
"I'm okay, I think." Haruka muttered, still not quite understanding. "Can I see Michi, I want to make sure she's alright."
"Haruka, you totaled your convertible." Setsuna swallowed before she spoke again. "It struck the pole with the passenger side first, Michiru was hurt badly and she was gone before she arrived at the ER."
"Gone? Where'd she go?"
"Haruka, I'm sorry but Michiru is dead."
Teal eyes shot open just past dawn and Haruka smothered a startled cry. She took deep breaths and almost thanked the sharp pains in her neck and back for the distraction. She realized she'd fallen asleep with her back to the wall and was paying the price now as her heart beat started to come down again. Had the bottle of alcohol been in reach Haruka was unsure if she'd have drunk it or thrown it.
Minutes later the blonde emerged from her room freshly dressed. No one else was awake as she quietly crept to Michiru's door. As silently as possible the blonde eased the door open and peaked inside, feeling the need to reassure her mind. She was surprised to find the artist a sleep on the floor not far from the door. Haruka knelt down and softly brushed some aqua strands from Michiru's face, noticing the tear stained cheeks with sadness. She shook her head, feeling a bitter mixture of relief and guilt at the same time. Again she could almost hear the alcohol calling to her.
Haruka slowly slid her arms underneath Michiru's knees and shoulders. She was careful not to wake the senshi of the deep sea as she lifted her from the floor. Silently she carried her over to her bed and set her lightly atop the blankets. Haruka frowned at the idea of waking her while trying to pulled covers from below her and then over her but the smaller woman seemed cold. Without a second thought Haruka shed the black trench coat she pulled on minutes before and laid it carefully over Michiru's form. With a last look she slipped out of the room and toward the stairs.
The blonde was on a mission as she backed her golden convertible out of the garage and down the driveway. She pulled on a pair of dark sunglasses and fought the mixture of feeling, which welled up inside her. There was only one other person alive who she had ever trusted as much as Michiru, and though he'd not been in her life for a number of years she needed him now.
'I hope you live in the same place, you always liked to move with the wind.'
Michiru woke to the scent of breakfast drifting under her door from down stairs. With only mild pain she sat up and glanced around. The young woman didn't remember how she got into bed or when as she felt some thing fall into her lap. Deep blue eyes glanced down to find a long black trench coat draped over her legs and protecting her from the morning chill. For a moment Michiru feared she'd not even come home, but then the memories of the workout room and the scent of Haruka's cologne caught her mind. Realizing it was Haruka's coat she jumped out of bed. Haruka must have looked into her room and moved her off the floor.
With speed rivaled only by the senshi of wind herself, Michiru was out of her room and knocking lightly upon Haruka's door. When she received no answer she opened it slowly and found the room empty. She shut it and tried to walk down the stairs as calmly as possible. She came into the kitchen and was met with two surprised sets of eyes, neither teal. She sighed, knowing the blonde had disappeared again and sank into her usual chair.
"Are you okay Michiru-mama?" Hotaru asked, not used to seeing the artist in such a disheveled state. Michiru wasn't vain but she hated to seem so disorganized as she appeared now.
"Yes, thank you Hotaru." Michiru responded though her eyes were glazed over and she didn't look toward Setsuna or Hotaru.
'Now they're both sad and worried.' Hotaru thought to herself. She shook her head even as she thought this. 'No, it's worse than that. Something is wrong and I want to know what.'
Haruka pushed her sunglasses back up as she approached the door two hours later. Of course he didn't live in the same place, it had been around eight years or more. With some reluctance she stopped at the door and pressed the button for the doorbell of the small house. A few muffled curses could be made out as someone came to the door and it soon swung back to reveal an older man with little of his gray hair left and two teal eyes hidden behind reading glasses. Being at almost equal height with Haruka the man regarded her.
"Something I can help you with, sir?" He asked.
"I needed some advice and you were the only one I had left to ask." As Haruka saw that he was starting to understand at the sound of her voice she pulled the sunglasses off. Identical teal eyes locked and the tall blonde bowed slightly to the man. "Good morning Dad."
"You always were able to find me kid." Ten'ou-san waved his daughter inside and shut the door behind her. He was unable to hide his smile as he led her to the kitchen and told her to sit down. After a moment at the refrigerator he returned with two root beers in hand. "What's on your mind kid?"
"Well before I get into it, I am sorry for disappearing the way I did after Mom passed away." Haruka's father waved off the apology with a shake of his head.
"You and I were always two of a kind, we moved as we needed and only look back when we get settled." Ten'ou Yoshi handed his daughter one of the bottled sodas. "As long as you're still doing okay I'm happy for you."
"Thanks Dad." Haruka opened the bottle and leaned back in her chair, eyes rolling toward the ceiling. Where to begin, where do you start this kind of conversation? "I've been having nightmares, a lot."
"That used to be the norm for you, if I recall." Yoshi spoke, hoping to prompt her into more description.
"Yes, but not these ones this often." She sighed and took a sip of her root beer before looking again toward her father but not meeting his eyes. "They always involved alcohol and drinking. Normally they're about me starting and not being able to stop, but last night was worse."
"I can't say I haven't had a number of those dreams myself." Yoshi removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. He looked back up at his youngest child and decided it best to ask. "Have you been drinking?"
"No, the stories I heard at your meetings convinced me not to a long time ago." Haruka set the bottle down lightly and folded her arms on the table. "But lately it's been hard to resist, it feels like the alcohol is calling to me when I am awake and haunting me when I am asleep."
"And what was worse about your latest nightmare?"
"Michiru died." Haruka said, for a brief moment forgetting just how long it had been since they'd spoken.
"Michiru?" Yoshi got a curious look for a brief second before something dawned on him. He looked again at his daughter. "Your high school roommate, right?"
"We still live together along with another friend and a girl the three of us adopted." Haruka informed as she took some pictures from her pocket and held them out to Yoshi. The older man smiled again as he gazed at the pictures of the four women. One showed Haruka standing behind Michiru, both in their high school uniforms, with one hand on the shorter woman's shoulder. "Michiru is the one with aqua hair and blue eyes. Setsuna has long, dark green hair and Hotaru is the youngest with black hair and violet eyes."
"Very nice looking young women, and Hotaru-chan has a look that seems wiser than her years." Yoshi commented as he paused on a picture of Setsuna and put his glasses back on to examine it more closely. He raised an eyebrow before he finally asked what he wanted to. "Does Setsuna-san have red eyes, or am I getting old?"
"You, old? Never." Haruka joked lightly in an attempt to cover her slight nervousness. No one had ever commented to her about the time senshi's eyes before. "Yes, Setsuna has red eyes. I don't really know how that happened but I got used to it."
"As long as I am not seeing things." Yoshi gave back the pictures with an amused smile toward his daughter. She looked at him with a confused expression and he almost laughed but held it in. He'd always found it fun to pick on his children and wasn't going to pass up this rare chance. "So, how long have you known?"
"What do you mean?" Haruka was genuinely confused now. She shook her head and glanced back at the pictures. "Known what?"
"That you had feelings for Michiru-san." Yoshi did laugh at the shocked and nearly stricken look that washed across his daughters face. He sobered a bit and regarded her with a calm look. "When you were small I had nightmares a lot like yours. I used to dream that I fell off the wagon and somehow got yourself and your brother killed."
"So you guessed because of my nightmare?"
"Your nightmare is part of it. You're afraid of what you might lose if you let yourself drink. You see the loss of those you care for most and the end of things that are important to you. I'm betting at least one nightmare involved crashing your favorite car as well." Yoshi waited for her to nod before he spoke again. "I can't tell you how to make the nightmares stop, kid. To me they are just something that comes and goes, but I can tell you one thing."
"What is that?" Haruka asked as her teal eyes focused again on the bottle before her.
"It helps to talk it out." Yoshi smiled again with a glint in his eyes. "Whither it is with your wife, roommate, friend, father or even daughter. Why do you think I still go to meetings after all these years?"
"I'll remember that Dad." Haruka took a card from her pocket and handed it to him with a shaky smile on her face as she stood. The two walked back to the door and Yoshi gave her a quick hug before he let her go. Haruka pulled her sunglasses back on and started to turn from the door. "Call anytime Dad."
"Oh, Haruka." She looked back at the man who had again that teasing smile she'd known so well in the past. "Don't give up on Michiru yet kid."
Haruka watched the door shut and didn't bother to question how her father seemed to know what advice to give with out asking. Walking back to her car she felt some form of relief as she realized her father had no problem with her love interest. Yoshi had always been very religious, so Haruka was never sure what to expect as a response. The yellow convertible started up and drove smoothly down the block.
Hotaru came home that evening after having dinner with the inner scouts. She looked around until she finally found Haruka's feet sticking out from under her precious golden yellow convertible. With a mischievous look Hotaru grabbed another of the skateboard like devices and slid under the car as well. She came to level with the blonde's head and stopped.
"Hi Haruka-papa." Hotaru watched as Haruka unscrewed a cap and black oil began to drain from the engine. Teal eyes then turned to the teenager beside her and the blonde nodded.
"Hey Hime, good day?" Haruka asked as they started to slide back out from under the car.
"It was fun." Hotaru shrugged as the two emerged and sat up in unison. Both quietly watched the door, which led to the house. Hotaru's gaze dropped down and she took a breath. This wasn't as easy as she'd hopped it'd be. "I wanted to ask you something Haruka-papa?"
"Shoot!" Haruka exclaimed with a grin and waited for her daughter to say something.
"What has been bothering you lately?" Hotaru said, just barely above a whisper. Haruka caught every word and for a moment greatly wished the girl had wanted to ask about guys, though she'd have had to send her to one of the others. Yoshi's word rang again in her mind and Haruka reached out to mess her daughter's hair.
"I'll tell you what." She stood and held a hand out to help Hotaru up. She easily pulled the teen to her feet and smiled reassuringly. "Let me get cleaned up and we'll go get ice cream and talk okay?"
"Okay." Hotaru said as a shaky smile came to her own lips.
"Why don't you go tell Michiru-mama and I'll go ask Setsuna-mama if we can use her car?" Haruka nearly laughed at the look the dark haired girl got at the thought of telling the shorter of her two mothers' that they were going for ice cream at this hour.
"Can I ask Setsuna-mama?" Hotaru looked hopefully up at the blonde and Haruka nodded. As Hotaru fled the garage Haruka shook her head, they must have both Setsuna and Hotaru walking on eggshells now to get that response.
Grimly Haruka walked to the door of Michiru's room after she'd changed and knocked lightly. After a moment Michiru appeared at the door with a cordless in one hand. The violin player eyed Haruka with surprise and excused herself from the call. Haruka was somewhat surprised by that and Michiru smiled a bit unsurely at the tall women before her.
"Did you need something Haruka?" Michiru asked in a timid sounding voice that made the cloned want to smack herself for unknown reasons.
"I just came to tell you I'm taking Hotaru to get some ice cream." Haruka said as she shoved her hands into the pockets of the dark slacks she'd changed into. Haruka tried to look as casual as possible and leaned again the doorframe.
"Just the two of you?" Michiru asked with what sounded like surprise and eyed Haruka with her deep blue eyes.
"Um, yes." Haruka looked away from the questioning blue eyes and focused on the wall instead as she answered the unspoken question. "Hime-chan decided she'd like to ask me some questions."
"And you can't turn down those pretty violet eyes." Michiru finished with a fond smile on her face. After a moment's pause the shorter woman spoke again. Her next words were a near echo of what someone once said of Haruka as a child. "That's our daughter, always looking out for her papa."
Haruka nodded a bit and pushed off the doorframe when a light hand landed on her arm. She turned back and noticed that Michiru seemed to want to say something but at the same time seemed unable to. Blue eyes looked down with an almost crushed expression on her face and Haruka felt her heart clinch at that look. However strained their friendship maybe Haruka did love this woman and hated to see her in pain. On impulse the blonde turned fully toward the artist and gently kissed the young woman's cheek.
"No matter what Michi, I do love you." She whispered into the woman's ear before she could think too much about it. She let it out before she could wonder if it was right to say, or how the other would react. "Even if we stop being friends and you hate me for the rest of our lives, I'll still be in love with you."
Haruka turned and walked away before Michiru could say anything but she paused as a soft voice reached her ears from behind.
"I don't hate you, Ruka." And with that a door clicked lightly shut. Haruka wasn't sure how she felt about that but she shook it off as she headed down the stairs. Hotaru was at the bottom, still talking to Setsuna when Haruka jumped the last few steps and lifted her daughter off her feet. The teen squealed in surprise as Haruka swung her over her shoulder and spun around. Hotaru began to laugh as Haruka finally stopped and carefully put her back down.
"I'm not sure that's what Ami-chan meant when she told you to take it easy, Haruka." Setsuna commented as Haruka steadied a now swaying teen by placing her hands on Hotaru's shoulders. The blonde grinned and Setsuna couldn't help but smile.
"You okay kid?" The blonde asked and looked down at the teen that stood directly in front of her. Hotaru tilted her head back to look up at Haruka and nodded which looked a bit funny like that and set Setsuna and Haruka chuckling. "Okay, then let's hit the road."
Hotaru was out the door when Setsuna stopped Haruka. While handing her the keys she gave the blonde a serious look.
"Are you okay?"
"Don't worry, Setsuna." Haruka shook her head before Setsuna could offer to drive and instead held out her hand for the keys, which were given to her. "I'm not going to do anything stupid with Hotaru in the car. I'd never risk Hime-chan that way."
"You heard that, didn't you?" Setsuna asked over her shoulder once the door had shut. At the top of the stairs Michiru leaned against the railing and watched the door with troubled blue eyes. Neither woman spoke again as Setsuna went back to the book she'd been reading and Michiru just kept watching the door.
'Don't risk yourself either, Haruka.'