AN: This will be the last time this is updated this quickly for a little while. Knowing me, I'll be making notes about it in my downtime, but I have an apartment to move into, classes to start, and work to do. I'll try to get chapter 4 up sometime next week. As for this chapter…well…er…I think I got a bit carried away. As some insight into the inspiration, this chapter was originally supposed to be about Sportacus telling Stephanie a bedtime story. A BIT different, eh? Well, you'll see.

Disclaimer: Yeah, you know the drill. Magnus owns LazyTown and all its properties, etc etc. I own all of this bizarre story and its bad jokes, etc etc. Don't be rippin' off none of our stuff, yo. Or I'll sic Robbie's robo-pup on YOUR stuff. Yo.

Spring Cleaning: Part Five (Three, Sir, Three!)

By Chiba Apey

Suddenly, Stephanie yawned and her eyelids drooped. She swayed and then began to fall. Sportacus quickly moved to catch her, getting an arm behind her back just in time. He listened, but she was still breathing. "Oh no. Something's wrong with Stepha-yaaaaaaaaaaawwwn."

The superhero stumbled, his own eyes closing of their own accord. In the window, Robbie was snickering and clutching his bag. "Yes! Now Sportadork and the pink-haired girl will stay asleep and I can once again make LazyTown the laziest town ever!" He laughed so hard that he inhaled some of the dust himself. He let out an explosive sneeze which knocked him to the ground. The moment he hit, he immediately started snoring.

Inside, Sportacus could fight the dust no longer. He fell onto the fort, taking Stephanie and a pile of bedding with him. He fell into a heavy slumber, racing his way into a bizarre dreamland.

------Ripple Dissolve into DreamLand------

Sportacus looked around. It was the strangest feeling standing in that forest. It looked like his old home in the North Sea, but at the same time it felt different. He went to do a flip and found himself inhibited. Looking down, he saw that he was wearing what looked like old Viking armor; a hefty breastplate with a tunic and hose underneath colored to match his costume. He still wore his blue armbands, now a part of the armor themselves. Beside him lay a shield with the "s" logo from his belt and a helmet and sword. The wind blew through his hair for the first time in about 11 years and caused a shiver to go down his spine. "What is going on?"

There was a noise behind him and he turned around to see Ziggy running up to him in tunic and hose, huffing and puffing the whole way. "Gasp! Wheeze!"

"Ziggy! Ziggy, calm down," said Sportacus, grabbing the lad by the shoulders, "What is it? What is happening?"

Ziggy looked perplexed. "My name is Siggi, not Ziggy." He pouted. "Íþróttaálfurinn, don't you remember? I'm trying to tell you to hurry forth. The warrior maiden lies in a ring of fire just west of here. You have to hurry and awaken her from eternal slumber!"

"What warrior maiden? What are you talking about?"

Ziggy, or Siggi, rolled his eyes impatiently. "The Solla, the valkyrie of the pink hair and great voice. She has been wrongfully imprisoned and must be rescued. You're the dragon slayer, the greatest hero in the land. You've gotta save her!"

Sportacus froze at the word "valkyrie". This all sounded oddly familiar. "This Solla, she is in trouble?"

"She's imprisoned in a ring of fire, isn't she?" snapped Siggi, "Aren't you gonna save her?"

He was stuck for it. "I suppose, if she is in trouble then, yes. I must save her." He looked down and thumped his breastplate. "First, I think I must lose some weight." He unbuckled the breastplate and pulled it off. Then he stretched, flexing his muscles a bit. "Much better. All right, Siggi, lead the way."

Robbie didn't know what had happened. One minute, he was wallowing in his own glee and the next he was standing in the middle of a forest wearing a tunic and hose (both oddly colored to match his regular clothes). Now he was in the middle of an argument with a dwarf over a ring of all things. "I wasn't trying to steal your ring. It probably has girl cooties!"

"BAH!" snarled the dwarf, "Loki, do not think that you can fool me! The very gods do scorn you for your dastardly ways. I know ye were after the ring and that's why I cursed it. Now its ill will shall bear with you as long as you carry that accursed ring!"

Robbie was getting a mite bit upset. He got about a millimeter away from the dwarf's bulbous nose and narrowed his eyes. "Now listen here you…you SHORT PERSON. I never cared about your stupid ring! I was merely trying to make that hero and the bratty girl lose all their energy and –"

"The great hero? You were working your evil mischief against Íþróttaálfurinn?"

Sighing, Robbie held out his arms and rolled his eyes. "Hellooo – villain."

The dwarf raised his axe, ready to swing. Robbie looked at it and squealed like a little girl and flinging himself backwards. "Aye, you ready to defend yourself, villain, before the might of my axe?"

Robbie smiled sheepishly. "You know, I just remembered that I have somewhere else to be right now. Good-bye!" He turned tail and fled screaming, his tunic flapping in the breeze.

He got a fair distance away until he was pretty sure that the dwarf had not followed him. Clutching his heart, he gasped for breath. "Oh, my heart. I cannot keep up this running! All this exercise is not good for me." He fished around in his pocket and plucked out a tiny little ring, crudely made and yet beautiful all the same. "It's so pretty." He smiled, "Too bad that nasty little man cursed it."

There was a voice getting closer and he flattened himself against a tree in an attempt to disappear. "Íslands þúsund ár Íslands þúsund ár," it sang. Wait, that voice was familiar!

From around the tree, Robbie spied none other than Sportacus, walking along in his Viking gear and singing at the top of his lungs. "sem þroskast á guðsríkis braut." He seemed oddly comfortable with his position and completely oblivious to the change of scenery. Then Robbie got a deliciously rotten idea.

Readjusting his tunic and checking to make sure his hose were straight; Robbie put on his helmet and strolled up to Sportacus. "LO! Greetings, my warrior friend!"

Sportacus immediately stopped and turned to view the intruder. "Hello," he greeted carefully, "Can I help you?"

"Why no, my friend, but was wondering if I could help you," he sounded a little more like a salesman than a Viking, but ah well, "You seem to be off on a quest of some kind, am I right?"

Sportacus was a little confused. "Well, yes, but how did you know that?"

"I took one look at you and I said 'there goes a questing man'," smiled Robbie, putting his arm around Sportacus's shoulders, "So, what kind of quest are we on, O warrior?"

"There is a girl trapped in a ring of fire and I must go rescue her."

"Yes, yes, sounds simple enough," nodded Robbie.

"But, she is trapped in eternal sleep. How do you wake someone from eternal sleep?" Sportacus shook his head sadly, "I am afraid that I will not be able to save her."

Robbie patted him sympathetically and reached into his pocket. "I see your problem, friend, and I think I can help you." He whipped out the ring and held it in the shorter man's face. "This here is a magic ring. Forged in the fires of Nidavellir and gifted to me by Alberich himself."

The above average hero raised an eyebrow. "Um, all right. What does it do?"

Robbie gasped as though in shock. "What does it do?" He shook his head and held the ring on high. "Why, it holds some of the most powerful magic in these parts. It will awaken your sleeping beauty merely by being in your possession." He flipped the ring like a coin and Sportacus caught it. "Now, I really must be going," he elbowed Sportacus on the side, "Good luck with the little wench." He winked, and then scooted back off into the trees, stumbling once or twice on the way.

When he reached a fair distance, he turned to spy with a malicious grin. "Did he fall for it?"

Sportacus seemed to be considering something for a moment before shrugging and pocketing the ring.

"Ha! Sap," snickered Robbie, "Now any bad luck will be transferred to him and I am free of the curse!"

"YOU! Loki, mischief maker! Denizen of Helheim! I shall smite you down to the depths where you belong!"

Robbie shrieked and turned. "The dwarf!" He turned to run and smacked into the tree.

Sometime later, Sportacus found himself facing a rather large wall of fire. Big, tall, burninatin' the woodland creatures, keeping people out of the circle; oh yeah, it was a wall of fire all right. Regardless of this obvious conclusion, Sportacus still extended a hand in its direction. "That's hot," he said, retracting his hand just before the flames burned his little fingers off. "I cannot even see if there is a maiden on the other side."

Examining the area for a moment, he came to a decision. "I guess there is no help for it." He strode away from the wall a ways. Then he turned, ran, and did a flying flippy leap-thing over the wall. Little bits of flame leaped up to lick his boots and when he landed he was slightly singed. But alive!

Before him stood a large rock. It wasn't very magical or majestic; just a little mossy and lichen-y. But it was what was on the rock that counted. Lying there, with her silver breastplate glowing in the moonlight and her long, pink braids spilling over her bosom, was Solla. The dress she was wearing was sleeveless and would've left anyone else shivering in this cold wood, but she seemed completely at peace. Her breath sent little puffs of fog into the air and her light pink dress fluttered just barely about her legs. Sportacus thought she was mighty purty.

He grasped the ring and edged towards her, wondering how long it would take to wake her. As he grew nearer, her features became more defined and something was nagging at the back of his mind. Yet he continued, for he was a hero and it was his job to save people. Besides, when was the last time he got to save an actual damsel in distress?

Closer, closer. Her head was turned away from him and yet he was so close. He reached out and brushed a braid aside, leaning over to get a better look. Then something occurred to him. 'Oh no! I'm stuck in the Saga of the Volsungs! If I'm Siegfried, then that means Brunhilde is –"

She opened her eyes and squealed with glee. "Sportacus!" Stephanie reached up and grabbed her savior's head, dragging him down into a rather forceful kiss.

Sportacus thought his eyes were going to bulge out of his skull. "MmfStmphnee!" He pulled away from her, desperately trying to avoid her lustful advances. "Stephanie, wake up! We're stuck in a dream!"

They both blinked and found themselves entwined on the floor of the mayor's living room. "A dream?" Stephanie's spirit began to deflate, "Then you're not my knight in blue hose?"

Sportacus shook his head. "I am afraid not. Something happened that made us fall asleep like that."

Stephanie immediately switched from sad to 'wrath of goddess'. "Robbie Rotten! I'll bet he's behind this!" She leapt up and began to look around.

"Stephanie, it's not right to –" Sportacus paused. "Do you hear that?"

They both walked over to the window and looked out. There, in the middle of the flower bed, curled in a ball and sucking on his thumb, lie Robbie Rotten. "Whatever he did, he did it to himself, too," Sportacus shook his head, "We'll wake him in the morning."

"Oh, but the begonias," whined Stephanie.

"He cannot hurt them any more than he already has," said Sportacus with a slight smile, "Come on, let's repair the fort."

AN: So, that's my wacky foray into discombobulated Norse Mythology. For more information, consult your local library. (thumbs up) On a totally unrelated note, please continue with the reviews and comments and stuff. They are what keep me going, like brains to a zombie. Mmmm…brains.