AN: I lied. I had this out faster than I thought I would. Tee hee. When inspiration hits, you wake your ass up and write down notes before you forget! So, this is the conclusion and let none of you say I did nothing for you before classes started. ;) Anyway, this last chapter is dedicated to every last one of you that reviewed because you kick ass for taking the time to do that!

Disclaimer: Bah, you know it. So show it. I don't own Sportabutt and I never will (cruel world). Neither do I own the adorably addictive pink substance that follows him around singing and dancing.

Spring Cleaning Part Quatre (oh la la!)

By Chiba Apey

As a new day dawned over LazyTown, the townsfolk woke to greet it. Pixel's computer roused out of sleep mode to wake him with cheerful alarm bursts. Stingy shook his piggy awake, too. Ziggy raced to the kitchen for a big breakfast. Trixie shot her slingshot at the clock and reluctantly roused from her slumber. Robbie…well, Robbie wasn't about to get up anytime soon.

Robbie: Snore! (rolls over onto some begonias) Stupid dwarf.

At the mayor's house, someone else was waking with the morning light as well. It was the first time in a while that Sportacus had awakened in a place that was not his airship without his alarm clock. Instead of lying in is comfy yet conservative bed, Sportacus was lying in a bundle of awkward bedding with a heavy weight on top of him. "S'it morning?" he muttered, opening his eyes. Shifting, he bumped his elbow into the couch leg and shook Stephanie – who was sprawled on top of him – awake. "No, I don't wanna leave, Uncle. I'll miss Sportacus too much." She snuggled further into him.

Looking around, Sportacus realized the position they were in. "Stephanie. It is time to wake up." He gently lifted her, trying to shift her body off of his own.

She looked up groggily. For a moment, she didn't react, and then her eyes lit up like the northern lights and she tackled him in a bear hug. "Oh, Sportacus! You're still here! I had the strangest dream. You were a Viking and I was a sleeping warrior maiden and you kissed me! Did you really kiss me 'cause in my dream you did."

Sportacus choked a bit in her hold. "Yes, I was there. It was not a dream. We were both somehow trapped in a dream world."

"I wish I was in the dream world," muttered Stephanie. She looked at Sportacus's lips slyly, an idea forming.

Before she could enact her fantasy, however, Sportacus got up and peeled her off. "I think we should be getting breakfast."

Stephanie nodded dejectedly. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Race you to the kitchen!" She set off like a shot, followed closely by Sportacus (he slowed down for the sake of playfulness). When she reached the kitchen, she tagged the fridge. "Ha! I got here first!"

Sportacus struck a pose and grinned. "Yes, you did," he let his arms slacken, "Let's see what there is to eat."

A little while later and the two of them were sitting at the kitchen table munching on Cheerios, orange juice, and (of course) sports candy. "Hey Sportacus, check this out." Stephanie tilted her head back and flipped up a Cheerio, catching it in her mouth.

"Very good," said Sportacus, "But watch this." He peeled a banana and flipped it into the air, slicing it with a knife and then diving onto his back to catch it in his mouth.

Stephanie cheered and clapped as he chewed and jumped back up. "Wow Sportacus, that was great!" He bowed and then sat back down. Stephanie returned to eating her cereal, chewing each mouthful thoughtfully. "Sportacus, have you ever heard of fetishes?"

(HYURK) Sportacus choked on his spoon and snorted a Cheerio up his nose. He thumped his chest and coughed, then placed a finger to the side of his nose and blew out the Cheerio.

"Ewww! Sportacus, that was gross!" Stephanie leaned back in her chair, clutching the table and kicking her legs in disgust.

"Sorry, Stephanie, you just surprised me," replied Sportacus meekly, wrapping the booger-Cheerio in his napkin. "Where did you learn a word like that, anyway?"

Stephanie put on her best 'I'm so cute face'. "Oh, I read it in the book I found in my uncle's room."

Sportacus: (pitches a spaz)

"Stephanie! You are much too young to be reading those kinds of books!"

Stephanie "humphed" and crossed her arms. "YOU said that I might be mature enough to understand."

"That is not what I meant!"

"Well, it's what you said." Stephanie remained huffy. "I just wanted to know what 'Íslandophilia' is anyway."

"Okay, breakfast is over," Sportacus hopped up and began bussing the dishes. "You had better get ready and put on some fresh clothes."

"What about you?" Stephanie pointed at him, "Don't you need to take a shower?"

"Well, I was thinking about you…" Sportacus began.

"Wait, do you even take that suit off? Or is it like a second skin?" Stephanie got up and began picking at the fabric around Sportacus's middle. "I'll bet a superhero like you doesn't even need to shower. You're not really human, are you?"

Sportacus swatted her hands away. "I need to shower," he said, "I am a person just like you. I am merely and above average hero."

"Uh huh," nodded Stephanie, "So go take a shower." She tried to push him toward the bathroom, but the guy didn't budge! She finally resorted to poking him with her spoon until she got a reaction every now and then mumbling "you stink" or "take a shower."

"All right, all right!" he threw up his hands. "I will go take a shower, but then it is your turn. Finish with the dishes and find some clean clothes."

"Okay!" she cheered, "You can pass me your clothes from the bathroom and I can run them through the quick cycle in the washer and dryer!"

Sportacus eyed her warily. "Okay," he nodded, "Away I go." Then he did that superhero arm thing and jumped off.

While he was in the shower, Stephanie took the time to examine his clothes. The boots seemed to be suede or something and went up his calf pretty high. The arm bands seemed to be purely cosmetic, but the crystal was fun to play with. 'Hmm,' she thought, 'He didn't have to run off and save anyone all day yesterday.' Then she reached the underwear. Ol' Sporty's undies were a pair of Underoo-style briefs with little blue "10"s all over them. "Aww, how cute!" she squealed. Then she noticed that inside the waistband a name was written in Sharpie. "Alex" it read. She began to dance around with glee at this new discovery, chanting "His name is Alex! His name is Alex!"

That was how Sportacus found her when he stepped out of the shower. "I need to get dressed now, Stephanie, could you please put down my Sportabriefs?" He was blushing so much that his ears felt like they were on fire.

"Nope," giggled Stephanie, "This is too much fun! I know your name now – your secret identity!" She continued her little chanting dance.

"Please, Stephanie, I am serious." He shifted and clutched the edge of the towel.

Stephanie stopped and thought for a moment. "Hmmm…I think that you have to catch me first!" Then she broke into a run right out the door. Sportacus whined quietly and then adjusted the towel, grabbed his other clothes, and chased her into the living room.

As they were running through the house, Sportacus's above average ears picked up the sound of jingling keys. The door opened and in walked Mayor Milford Meanswell with a contented smile on his face. "Oh, I just had such a lovely brunch with Ms. Busybody. There was toast and jam and a little slice of cantaloupe on the side."

He looked up and saw the two of them, frozen in their chase. Stephanie was in mid-run, holding the underwear high above her head and a wearing look of pure innocence. Sportacus, on the other hand, was a foot behind her, desperately clutching his towel and looking very much like a naughty child. "Mayor!" he laughed nervously, "You're home!"

The mayor sputtered for a few minutes in outrage. "Sportacus! What is the meaning of this?"

Sportacus picked up his hat and goggles, tucking them on his head haphazardly as he tried to explain. "Well, you see mayor, I had just gotten out of the shower when Stephanie decided to be playful and snatch my Sportabriefs. Only, I need my Sportabriefs to wear under my Sportasuit so I don't…"

A few minutes later, Sportacus was standing outside in his hat, goggles, and the towel as the door slammed behind him. He groaned and covered his face with his hand. "I am never asking for help cleaning again." He made sure his towel was tight and then walked down the street in the direction of his airship.

Bessie Busybody was lounging outside with her hair in rollers and her face in mud. She took a sip of her iced tea and sighed with a contentment that she had not felt in years. Then she heard footsteps. Ever the busybody, she peeled one cucumber away from her eye and looked up. There was Sportacus, walking down the street in an oddly plain manner. Normally, that would've made her worry, but she was too busy admiring his current state of undress to notice. "Good morning, Sportacus!" she waved flirtatiously.

Sportacus stopped and turned. "Good morning, Bessie. Nice weather we are having."

"It looks divine," smiled Bessie. He continued to walk and she took the opportunity to admire his physique. "Like a Viking god."

When Sportacus finally stood beneath his airship, he looked up. "Ladder!" The ladder fell and he began to climb.

Earlier, a kindly squirrel had finally woken Robbie Rotten ("Ah! Wild beast!") and now he was trudging his own way back home. "How could Sportakook leave me in that dream world with the dwarf? He's supposed to save people! I'm people!" He kicked a nearby wall and then hopped around for a bit cradling his now injured toe. "Grrr, it is all his fault!" he groused, shaking his fist toward the sky. Unfortunately, at that moment he was standing just below the airship ladder as Sportacus was climbing back home. "AHH!

My eyes!"

AN: Didya like it? Huh? Huh? Review, please oh please, review. Oh, and read, too. Literacy, yay! Up with reading! Poor Robbie was almost in this story. Ah well. Maybe next time I'll write more about that billboard guy. Now I have to go, um, do some adult stuff in the real world like move and work and go to skool. Olde skool. But I won't disappear. I promise!

Remember: Support your local Icelandic-sport-elf-hero.