Thank you loyal fans. You guys are seriously awesome.
Chapter Tree.
Narrator: Ha, ha. Paris Hilton DIED! YAY!
Cops: Well, Christian's a reckless drunk, Janet is the Queen of prude, and Antonelle is a Mary Sue. It can't be them. Let's go out for funnel cake.
Antonelle: Well, this sucks.
Christian: Well, everyone leave. Time for me to pine for Satine and recite awful poetry.
Janet: Ok. How 'bout those cops, Tony?
Antonelle: Blow it out your ear! Piss off.
Janet: Hmm. No one loves me.
Rocky Horror Fans: We...well, no, we hate you.
Janet: Waaaah. Everyone hates me. sobitty sob.
(Roxie pops in out of nowhere.)
Roxie: Holy crap, how'd I get here?
Janet: (sobs) No one loves meeee!
Roxie: Obviously. Now can we focus on me? I was making out with Richard Gere, and then-
Narrator: It was then Janet went crazy on everyone's henie.
Janet: I'm sick of being treated like crap!
Roxie: Shut up.
Janet: Blow it out your ear!
Roxie: What?
Janet: (marching into her apartment) I'm not sleeping on the couch anymore!
Antonelle: Yes you are.
Janet: (kicking her in the shins) EFYOU!
Antonelle: Ok, geez. No couch today.
Janet: (jumping down the apartment hole) NEVA DIE!
Christian: Waah? Janet? Hey...you look mad.
Janet: (slapping him one) You are a drunk.
Narrator: And so...it came to pass that Janet grabbed all the gin and threw it out the window.
Christian: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
-dum duh dum six hours later-
Christian: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Janet: (stomping on his foot) SHUT UP!
Antonelle: Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the futon today.
(Janet storms up the ladder, then trips and the entire ladder falls over.)
Janet: I am still mad! (runs out of the room)
Christian: Well, you know, I USED to like her, but she's angry for someone who's five foot seven.
Roxie: I'm five foot two. Got a problem with it, baxter?
Christian: No, no problem at all.
Antonelle: Well, crap that means I have to do my own laundery now.
Narrator: And then they realized...
Antonelle: ...
Christian: ...
Roxie: I like shiny things! And guns! Espcially guns!
Narrator: They realized...
Antonelle: ...
Roxie: Pretzles!
Christian: ...
Narrator: Just then it occured to them that if Janet could get so mad...
Antonelle: ...
Christian: ...that she could break my lamp?
Narrator: No. What just happened?
Christian: She threw my bottles out the window and broke my lamp.
Roxie: Andy, you're a star!
Antonelle: No, if Janet can get that mad...she could've killed Paris Hilton!
Narrator: Wow, you're not as dumb as you look.
Roxie: Have you seen polythene Pam, she's-
Narrator: Well, some of you are.
Antonelle: You think...
Christian: ...maybe...
Roxie: Darts of Fantastic Pleasure! You're the latest contender, you've got no-
Antonelle: Christian, get the tranquilizer.
Christian: Why, are we gonna disect Janet?
Antonelle: No. (Antonelle flips up the cushion on Christian's couch, (which looks like a missile launcher)and pulls out a huge-ass dart gun. She loads it with a small dart the sixe of your pen cap.)
Roxie: I'm sexy, so sexy, so come on over to- BLAMGETSHITINTHENECKWITHADART
Antonelle: Thank god.
Christian: You know...you're really talented.
(Antonelle looks at Christian, who looks at her.)
Narrator: Looks like the summer of anthrax is getting hot.
Christian: Man, he is really annoying.
Narrator: Did Janet kill Paris Hilton? Will Antonelle hook up with Christian? Is Roxie dead? Do Blondes really have more fun? What's love got to do with it? Holy rusted metal Batman!