I nearly said, "Tush, Jeeves," based on my knowledge of the habit of desert isles, which is to be deserted, but long experience has taught me to be circumspect, if you know what that means, in contradicting him. But when he added, "I believe the gentleman is of your acquaintance," I did expound my disbelief.
However, Aunt Dahlia over-ruled me with her usual roughshod manner, making remarks comparing my intellectual abilities and capacity to recognize anything other than my next drink to that of a lump of clay, and declaring that Jeeves and self should undertake a rescue expedition in the small motorboat. "You'll keep him from drowning his fat head, won't you, Jeeves," was her tender farewell, which was probably what she'd have said to Columbus, assuming Columbus was taking Jeeves on his way to discover the jolly old Indies and that Aunt Dahlia was there to voice an opinion.
I would be deceiving my public if I said that my first emotion on recognizing the stranded mariner was something other than absolute astonishment. It was the Lex Luthor chappie I've talked about earlier, don't you know, the fabulously rich bean who lives in Smallville where extraordinary things keep happening to him and his c. of friends and family.
"What ho, Lex, old bean!"
He straightened from hacking at some vine or another that didn't appear to me to be giving offense, but you know these Americans, and looked at me as though he weren't quite sure that I wasn't another vine.
Jeeves, I must say, knew exactly the right thing to say, as if he'd somehow gotten a book on Things To Say When Encountering Lex Luthor on a Deserted Isle. Perhaps he had, since he reads like improving literature like billy-oh. "Sir, dinner will be ready in approximately thirty minutes. Would you care to come aboard for a drink and a change of clothing?"
While I wouldn't say that Lex and I are like those two chappies in the myth, seeing him tuck into a steak was a sight to fill the Wooster heart with song. With a lordly wave of the hand I had brushed aside Madeline's assurances that bean-cutlets or a few slices of cheese would restore his health and spirits far faster than any kind of steak would. "Nonsense. Cheese, yes, but cheese in its proper place, which is with a good glass of port after a full meal." The sheer cruelty of her proposal astounded me, I mean to say.
As I was changing out of the dinner garb into my night attire, I commented upon this to Jeeves, who was supervising matters. "The female of the species, how does that bit go?"
"For the female of the species is more deadly than the male. Kipling, sir."
"Well, when you next see him, tell him from me that he is absolutely right."
We Woosters are always attentive to the call of duty and compassion and all that, plus I felt it would be no small relief to escape from Madeline, and so I offered myself and Jeeves' assistance in returning him to his native clime. He agreed, sort of numbly if you know what I mean, and I darkly surmised about the cause.
"Jeeves," I said, "I have no doubt in my mind that had the Luthor chappie not been distracted by the Jeeves Special you so swiftly concocted for him, that Madeline's proposal would not just have rendered him numb, but caused him to lose his reason."
"I am sure there are many things on Mr. Luthor's mind, sir."
"Well, now it's all aboard for the jolly old city of his birth and then nothing to cloud the brow or perturb the mind except whether his ties are still up-to-date and he remembered to tell them to stop delivering the milk, eh, Jeeves?"
AN: The muse for this one woke up and started kicking me in the shin again!