A/N: I'm uploading this chapter with the last chapter, so look there for a note of any real importance. Thanks :D
Chapter 4: Despair and LightWhat have I done? I can't keep doing this to myself.
These guilt filled thoughts ran through Harry's mind as he climbed into bed, panting, and pulled his hangings closed.
Now he just lay there, angered at himself for kissing Draco. "How could I fall for someone again?" he sobbed out loud.
He thought he had learned his lesson when Sirius was used as bait to lure him to the Department of Mysteries; when the man he loved more than life itself passed though the veil before his eyes because of him. Even his own parents, who he must have loved, died because of him. It's all my fault. All these deaths are being caused because of me. If I allow myself to be swept up with Draco…
He knew that he shouldn't do it, but he couldn't stop himself. He reached under his pillow and pulled out his knife. He slowly dragged the blade across his wrist, watching though his teary eyes as his crimson sorrow flowed down it.
He wanted to just give up so bad, and to be the cause of no more deaths. I don't think I can stand one more death on my behalf… I'm not strong enough. With this thought he drove the knife into his flesh one more. As soon as the blade made contact he knew that he went to far, but he didn't care. All he wanted to do was to die and let everyone else around him live in peace, especially Draco. Harry didn't want him to die because he was so weak.
The world was slowly slipping away, as Harry feel into the deep abyss. He was unconscious before he even saw Hermione Granger, more terrified than she had ever been in her life.
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It had been nearly a week since Harry's incident, and there were many rumours buzzing through Hogwarts. "I heard he went off to fight You-know-who again," some would say. Others believed that he had finally broken enough rules to land him an expulsion.
Hermione simply shook her head. "Why is it that one little event happens and it's the talk of the school for weeks? Isn't there anything better to talk about?"
It was only she, and a select few of the Hogwarts staff, who knew the true reason for Harry's absence.
Draco was really worried, although he tried not to show it. However, it had now been a week since he and Harry had snogged and Harry had disappeared, and he was getting extremely bothered.
So, after potions that day he waited until everyone else was gone and approached Hermione, who usually stayed a bit after everyone else to organize everything.
"Granger," he addressed her, trying to include just enough coldness so as not to catch her totally off guard. "This may come to a bit of a shock to you, but I was wondering if you know where Harry is and what really happened to him."
Hermione was only slightly surprised about this new information. "Do you two have something going on?"
I wish. "Can't I be concerned for Harry without it having to be about a relationship?" When Hermione arched her eyebrows he added, "No, we have nothing going on… yet. I'm just kind of concerned because the last time I saw him was the day he disappeared, after we kissed. He just got this sort of pained look in his eyes and he ran off."
Hermione looked like she was pondering something. "Hmm… maybe that's why he did it…" she muttered to herself.
"Did what?"
Hermione looked at him closely. "Do you really care about Harry, or is he just some guy that you'll get bored of as soon as you've shagged him?"
He really didn't want to admit it out loud, but Draco really did feel something for Harry, and he was very certain that there was something wrong with him. He nodded slowly. "Don't tell anyone though…please."
Hermione smiled at him. "Don't worry. Now, as for what happened to Harry," she said as she started walking, indicating for Draco to follow, "well we aren't sure yet what made him do it. Last week I found him in his bed after dinner, and he had," her eyes filled up with tears and suddenly she found herself not being able to speak. They continued walking in a few minutes of silence, before Hermione continued. "I'm sorry about that. I just feel kind of responsible" She took a deep breath. "He slit his wrists, Draco. And I knew that he cut. I knew and I didn't tell anyone." She started crying again.
"It's not your fault, Hermione," Draco said, pulling her into a comforting hug. "Can you take me to where he is?"
Smiling, she blushed in embarrassment and nodded. "He's in a private room at the Hospital Wing," she informed him as she continued walking. "Dumbledore doesn't want the word to get out that Harry Potter slit his wrists. Think of the press. Not only that, but if a Death Eater's child finds out and tells their parents, think of how easy it would be for Voldemort to strike, with Harry so weak."
Draco nodded. The rest of the walk was silent. Draco was wrapped up in his own thoughts, and he didn't even realize it when they arrived the Hospital Wing.
"Now, I don't think that anyone should see you go in the room. They might think you are going to hurt him or something."
Nodding, Draco followed Hermione through a door marked 'PRIVATE: No admittance without authorization.' From there, she led him through another door, which led to Harry's room.
As soon Draco laid eyes on Harry, his eyes began to well up with tears. He rushed over beside Harry's bed, looking intently upon the boy's sleeping face. "Please, Hermione, could I be alone with him."
Smiling knowingly, Hermione said, "Of course. Do you want me to wait outside or do you still need me?"
"I'll find my way out." When he saw her about to leave he added, "Thanks Hermione."
She smiled at him and closed the door.
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Draco turned his attention back to Harry. He took the boys hands in his, looking at his carefully bandaged wrist. How could such a magnificent creature do this to them self? What drove you to this? Draco brought up his hand and lightly brushed away Harry's fringe.
Slowly, Harry's eyes fluttered open, taking Draco by surprise. As soon as he saw Draco his mouth formed a smile. He reached up, cupping Draco's sweet face in his hands. "Am I dreaming?"
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A/N: I know, this was a really short chapter… but I really wanted to end this chapter this way… and I promise that I will have the next chapter up in a few days. And PLEASE leave a review… they really brighten up my day:)
Luff you all
- Drag