A/N: I am ashamed. I am such a disgrace of a writer. I am so terribly sorry for the delay. I just haven't had all that much time to write or even think about the story. Please do forgive me.
A/N 2: OhMyFuckingGawd! I can't believe how unbe-fucking-lievable I am. Over, what, four months? Shame on me. A lot has happened to me, and I lost interesting in writing for a while, got my first girlfriend, then my second, and it's been off and on with her. I don't deserve any readers, but I still would really appreciate it. So much. Here you go. I'll try to make it worth the wait.
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Draco smiled as he watched Harry wake. "No. This is not a dream," Draco replied softly, placing his hands around Harry's.
The two boys looked deep into each other's eyes.
Slowly Harry's smile faded, as he remembered the reason he was there. He yanked back his hands, catching Draco off guard. "What are you doing here Malfoy?" Harry asked, spitting out his name as though it was something vile.
Draco just stood there, flabbergasted. Only just moments before Harry looked happier than he had ever seen him, and now he was doing everything but show him the door.
"I came to see you. I was worried about you." Draco's tone was confused, Harry could tell.
Harry was thinking fast, trying to find some way he could get Draco out of the room before he changed his mind. "I don't need you to be worried about me, thanks. Now if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you would just get out of my room and leave me alone," Harry said viciously.
Draco was becoming more and more aggravated at Harry by the second, even if he did love the boy. "You know what Potter? You're right. Why am I here? I guess I'll just leave you here to be all alone." He then storm out, but, just before he slammed the door, Draco could have sworn he saw a melancholic glimmer in Harry's shinning emerald eyes.
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As soon as Draco slammed the door Harry broke down. He started sobbing out loud, practically drowning in his tears. "Oh Draco, I'm so sorry," he sobbed.
But, as much as he wished Draco could be there with him, Harry knew that it would only end up hurting the boy he loved.
That night, Harry cried himself to sleep, to dream about the boy he loved so much. "Only in my dreams," he breathed, closing his eyes and drifting off.
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The next day Harry awoke to find some one sitting on his bed. Putting on his glasses, Harry's eyes focused on his visitor.
"Hello, 'Mione," he said sleepily.
"Oh, Harry, you're up!" squealed Hermione, racing to give him a hug. "How are you feeling? When did you first wake up?"
Harry smiled. "I'm feeling kind of sore and groggy. And I woke up last night when… er when I woke up."
Hermione gave him a knowing smile, and said, "You mean last night when Draco visited?"
Harry nodded.
"How did it go?" she asked.
Harry opened his mouth to reply when it hit him. "It was you, wasn't it? You who showed him where I was and told him what had happened?"
There was sort of anger in Harry's voice that confused Hermione. "Yes it was. You're not upset, are you?"
Harry sat back. "Yes, but not with you. Last night didn't go to well," he informed Hermione.
"What happened?"
"I was kind of sleepy, so I don't remember everything all that well, but I'll try. I remember waking up to the most angelic site. Draco."
It took all Hermione had not to go, 'Aww'.
"I thought I was dreaming, 'Mione. Wish I were. It would have been perfect. Anyways, then I remember getting cross at him, telling him to leave. He got angry and left." Tears threatened to fall once more, but he couldn't bear to do it in front of Hermione.
"But Harry, why did you get cross at him?" she asked, confused.
Harry sighed. "Don't you see, Hermione? Don't you see how everyone I have ever loved has died because of Voldemort?" Silent tears now began to stream down is face, as he listed the people. "My parents, Sirius, who knows who else? Hermione, I love Draco. I love him too much to have him die because of me."
Hermione pulled him into a tight embrace. "Oh Harry, don't worry. Voldemort shouldn't stand in your way with Draco."
"Hermione, it's not just that. I'm fairly sure that Draco doesn't like me. In fact, I'm sure he hates me. No, I know he hates me."
She smiled. "I wouldn't be too sure of that, Harry."
Sniffling, Harry replied, "I am sure of it. 'Mione, just look at the way he treats me? He hates me and you know it."
"Oh Harry, I don't know it," she said, shaking her head lightly. "Think about it. He came here last night to see you. He likes you, Harry. I daresay he might even love you."
Harry laughed. "He probably just wanted to see for himself that the famous Harry Potter was in the Hospital Wing because…" his face fell, ashamed of what he did.
"Oh Harry, tell me. Why did you do it?" she asked, tears now falling from her eyes.
"I was just… I'm just sick of all the deaths that are being caused because of me. I can't handle it, I just can't. It'd just be easier to die, Hermione. I'm not strong enough."
"Harry, you are strong enough. And these deaths, they just aren't your fault, Harry." She looks hard into his eyes. "Ron and I love you, as do many others, and we are still alive." She started sobbing.
"I just can't handle it."
With her red eyes she looked at him. "I know you can, Harry. You have all of us here to talk to. Please, promise me that you will never ever do this to yourself again. Please."
Harry didn't want to lie to Hermione, but it seemed as though that was what he must do. "I won't, Hermione. I promise."
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Later that morning, after Hermione had left, Madame Pomfrey came in to do her regular checks on Harry.
"Oh, thank Merlin, Mr. Potter," she smiled. "I feared you might never wake." She then did a few quick checks.
Harry smiled weakly. Ever since Hermione had left, he had been thinking. About Draco, about the previous night, about their kiss.
"I must inform the Headmaster at once. I shall be back." With that she left through the doors.
Not even twenty minutes later, she strolled back in with Dumbledore.
"Ah, Harry. Good to see you awake at last. Poppy," he continued, looking at the nurse, "would you please excuse us? There is much I'd like to discuss with MR. Potter here."
The mediwitch nodded, exiting the room. Once the door was shut, Dumbledore cast a silencing charm on it, and moved towards Harry.
"I think," he started, "that you know why I am here."
Harry nodded in response.
"Alright. Please, explain everything."
Harry told the old wizard of how he was sick of the deaths because of him, and how he was still depressed about the Sirius incident.
"You loved him, didn't you?"
Harry didn't know in what way Dumbledore meant the question, but he had a feeling he meant it in the same sense he was answering. "Yes, I did."
Dumbledore nodded solemnly. "I see." He paused. "Well, anyways, I am glad to see you awake. I think that, if it's alright with Poppy, you should be able to go back to your dorms tonight and can resume your classes on Monday with the rest of your classmates."
With that he left, leaving Madame Pompfrey to check up on Harry.
"Everything looks okay here, Mr. Potter. I really would rather you spend the night here, but Dumbledore's wish is his will. You may go when you are feeling up to it."
After changing into his robes, Harry grabbed his things and left there as quickly as he could.
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Draco didn't know where to go. He was both furious with and wounded by Harry's actions. What was with Gryffindors and rapid, undetectable mood swings.
Worse, Draco felt more alone than he could remember ever being. He wished, more than anything at the moment, that he had friends like Harry's. Sure, the Weasel could be a major prat, and Hermione an insufferable know-it-all, but they were always there to comfort their dearest friend in his time of need.
Hurt, and feeling horribly lonely, Draco trudged off towards the Slytherin common room, hoping to find someone to talk to.
"Hey Draco! Draco!" called Blaise, seemingly oblivious to the level of his voice. "Never see your pretty little face here anymore. So wonderful to see you." He leaned in to, what appeared to Draco, kiss him, when Draco smelled his breath.
"Blaise, drinking again? Don't you have a boyfriend?" Draco cocked an eyebrow at the other Slytherin.
"Oh, right," Blaise slopped some of his firewhisky. "Well, last I heard the bloke was shagging some fucking Hufflepuff…" Blaise's voice trailed off as he downed more of his drink, barely making a face at the taste.
Draco was a little concerned. "I thought you were inlove, dear Blaise," he asked, pulling the firewhisky away from the other boy and taking a rather large sip of his own.
"Ah, well that's what love can do for you, Drakie. One minute you feel like you're on top of the fucking world, and then the next thing you know you're falling off of it, with a little push from a cheating little mudblood."
"Oh Blaise, you don't mean that. You and I both know that you don't believe all that fucking 'filthy-blood' shit," Draco said, feeling slightly light-headed. "You're just pissed because Seamus-"
"Don't you EVER fucking mention the name of that fucking arse around me ever again, you hear me?" Blaise furiously interrupted him.
Draco eyed the half empty (he's feeling rather pessimistic at the moment) bottle in his hands thoughtfully. "How full was this when you started out?"
Blaise giggled slightly. "You know, I don't."
Even Slytherins have their fair share of swinging moods. This thought only brought Draco back to his own troubles. After knocking back a good bit of alcohol, Draco rubbed his temples. "Yes, Gryffindor can be simply tedious to be with."
"So, I take it things aren't that great with the Boy Who Lived then."
Draco sighed. "No, not really. Is it some rule that all fucking Gryffindors are so… complicated?"
"Why don't you ask my whore of an ex boyfriend?"
"This is what father always said. Love only leads to being hurt."
Blaise nodded in agreement. "True, mate. Too true." He paused for a moment as he grabbed the bottle from Draco and took a large swig. "Damn, Dray, there was half a bottle before you came," Blaise eyed the near empty bottle.
"Yes, well I'm sure there was a full bottle before I came," the blonde half sneered.
But Blaise wasn't listening to Draco. "Mmmm, Drakie, have I ever told you how unbelievably fuckable you are?"
Draco was drunk, yes, but not drunk enough. "I think we could use a bit more firewhiskey, Zabini."
"No problem." Blaise eyes were twinkling as he groped under the cushions of the couch and pulled out a full bottle of dragonale. Kissing it, Blaise said, "Ah, the hard stuff. Thank-you Nott."
Draco snatched it from Blaise and knocked down a good bit, making a slight face. "Mmmm."
They both passed the bottle back and forth until they had drunken about half. Draco knew he was hammered. He also knew he was hard. Blaise seemed to have noticed this, and was rubbing his crotch slightly.
"Now, 's I wasayin, Dray, I wanna fucking shag ya. Righ' here 'n'ow. What d'ya say?" He sounded almost desperate, slurring his words, and under any other circumstance, Draco would have been disgusted. Now, however…
"I say you come over here and help me with this problem," replied Draco coolly, having a much better time at managing his words.
Blaise didn't need telling twice. He quickly scrambled over to where Draco sat, already unzipping his pants. "Suck me, Blaise.
Again, Blaise was more than happy to oblige. He hopped over, lowering his face to Draco's. But Draco turned his face. "No kissing, Zabini. Just fucking suck me before I force myself into your mouth. Understand?"
Blaise nodded, and lowed himself, slowly pulling off Draco's boxers and discarded them haphazardly onto the floor. He must have been too hard to tease, because the next Draco knew, Blaise's hot mouth had swallowed him almost completely.
Draco moaned, arching into Blaise's sweet mouth. He felt his cock hit the back of Blaise's throat, but Blaise didn't seem to take much noticed, and instead made a humming noise in his throat which nearly sent Draco over the edge. "Fuck," he hissed.
He then noticed that Blaise hand one hand wrapped around his own member through his unzipped pants, going with the same rhythm he was sucking. Draco, this being his first blowjob and all, didn't last much longer. He came with a cry, arching his back and closing his eyes, imagining that it was Harry's wet lips around his softening cock…
He pulled out of Blaise's mouth quickly, and gathered his clothes. Hastily getting dressed, Draco sprinted out of the Slytherin common room and down to his own Head Boy dorm.
As Draco slammed his door he angrily wiped the tears from his eyes. That was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and Draco was crying?
He dashed to his bed without bothering to change. Still crying, Draco pulled his legs to his chest and curled up.
No, the best thing that had ever happened to him was Harry.
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A/N: Okay, there you go. I cannot apologise enough for my lack of devotion to you all. Just be thankful I'm not as great a writer as JKR, so it's not like I'm letting down many fans.
Right, confession time. I really don't like this story much. I'll still finish it, of course, as some people wish. But I just must warn you that my heart is not completely into it. I have many other ideas in my mind, many more fanfics that I have read since the creation of this. But I will write this until the end, I assure you. As well, I may write a few one-shots here and there in between, and possibly working on a new story D/H I'm coming up with. Possibly featuring a Veela!Draco and Mate!Harry… but we'll see.
I'm sorry for the 'sex scene'… I'm still getting used to writing them, so yeah. Please, feel free to give me any constructive criticism; I'd love to hear it. And I'm afraid I won't be mentioning any of my reviewers this time because I want to get this up ASAP.
Cheers, and love to you all.
