Holds Me Together
Rating: T-M Just in case
Disclaimer: You know the drill.
A/N: I love you people! You make my day! Sorry for the proofreading as always. FYI: My responses to reviews are going to be at the bottom of each chapter instead of the top, just so that everyone doesn't have to scroll to get to the story. Don't feel unloved, it's not like I'm going to ignore the reviews! I swear! Read on with yo bad self, now!
Chapter 10 – Strong Enough To Break
Grace hadn't spoken much to her mother when they'd gone to Arcadia. Mostly she sat in the chair next to Sarah's bed. Because of adverse reactions to the medications they currently had Sarah on, and also because of the withdraw symptoms that she was going through; Sarah's arms had to be bound. She had wool cushioned restraints fastened around her wrists, which were in turn fastened to either side of the bars of the bed she was lying in. Her father had explained that until Wednesday, Sarah's legs had been bound as well, but she was beginning to calm down now.
Grace had done everything in her power not to shed a single tear during her time in the hospital. She simply sat, staring at her mother's figure lying in the bed. Her arms were filled with shallow lacerations that were scabbed over into a dark scarlet and brown color. The edges of the scabs were peeling where new skin was growing underneath. They were from hallucinations that Sarah had had, of relentless bugs crawling about her skin. Grace also spotted the bandage wrapped around Sarah's left calf when she stuck her leg out from under the hospital blanket in her slumber. It was from when, during her hallucination, Sarah had managed to grab a pen from the pocket of one of the doctor's trying to calm her and sedate her in her fit, and she had gouged a deep enough gash to garner 10 stitches in a diagonal spiral that almost reached her shin before they'd stopped her.
They had caught a 7:35am flight from Logan Airport in Boston to Baltimore. Will had been there at 9:05 to pick them up and drive them the hour long trek to Arcadia. He had dropped them off directly at the hospital, where Grace had told Luke she would meet him at his house later. Luke had lingered a moment, watching her for some sign that she wanted him to stay. After a few minutes he reluctantly turned and climbed back in his father's car after watching her walking into the hospital's doors. After a quick, awkward greeting from her father, he said he had to get back to the Synagogue for work and had kissed her on the head before leaving as quickly as Grace would have liked too.
Grace had sat in that chair, next to her mother's bed, perfectly still, only moving her eyes to let them roam all about her mother's figure until visiting hours were over at nearly 9pm.
She had watched various nurses and doctors come in, pick up Sarah's chart, go over to the machines and jot down measurements from the instruments before taking her temperature and blood pressure readings and leaving. Some of them would administer injections into the IV that was plugged into the back of Sarah's right hand. They gave Grace breezy hellos and goodbyes as they hurried to make their rounds end swiftly. Grace hadn't responded to any of them. She had merely glanced at them when they crossed her eye line, just to see who had joined her. A couple of times, when she knew the sun had set, she half expected Luke to come in and demand some kind of emotion out of her. A time or two she almost wished it was her father, returning to tell her it was crazy for her to sit her and watch her mother sleep through her overdose recovery and her withdraw, but she knew that wouldn't happen. The King of Avoidance was sitting on his throne of evasion. After all, it was the only reason he wished for Grace to return, so that if Sarah woke up she would know that he had only left since Grace was there to pick up his slack, as always.
At 9:56 precisely, before the nurse could come and tell Grace to leave, Luke had arrived. He had stood at the window of Sarah's room and watched Grace for two minutes before quietly entering the room. Grace looked utterly lost. Her eyes were distant. They were misted over, but Luke knew that this was because they were staring out at the vast emptiness that her parents had been filling her life with for years. She barely blinked, as she stared. Her head didn't turn at the click of the door. Her whole body sat motionless. Luke panicked for a moment, thinking he'd just stepped into the first scene of a horror movie where the main character found the first victim. The slow, steady rise and fall of Grace's chest let him know that she was in fact breathing.
He had approached her chair and put his hand on her shoulder, softly calling her name, afraid that he'd disturb Sarah and cause some sort of scene. Grace had blinked, startled, shaking her head and looked over at him blankly. He waited a moment, and her eyes focused in and relief seemed to wash over her for a split instant.
"What are you doing here?" She said hoarsely. She hadn't eaten or had anything to drink since the night before.
"Visiting hours are pretty much over," He explained. "I came to pick you up."
"Oh," Grace nodded. She glanced past him and at her mother for a split second before standing. Grace had neglected to let the blood flow properly through her after sitting for so long and as soon as she stood her blood rushed from her head to her toes and her stiff, numb limbs gave out before she had a chance to even realize what was happening. Luke had reacted quickly and she found herself slumped against him with her eyes clenched in slight shock. Opening her eyes she saw bright stars surrounding the air as she tried to look up at Luke. She shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs from it.
"Are you all right?" He asked. He looked worried enough that, once Grace focused in the dim room, she was certain question marks would etch themselves across his ruffled up forehead. She put her hand on her own forehead and nodded, backing away and steadying herself on the back of the chair as she searched for her jacket.
"I'm fine," She assured.
"Here," Luke held her jacket out and Grace accepted it and slid it on.
"Let's get out of here," Grace felt the sudden need to be far away from this place. Luke followed her.
"Mom's got leftovers waiting for us at home," Luke said. Grace felt a brief pang of sadness to realize that she did think of the Girardi house as home in Arcadia, and not her own. She could barely remember what the inside of her room looked liked. She knew she was partially to blame for this feeling, after all it had been her who had always run away from the house to escape Sarah's habit and her father's forestalling of the world.
"I'm not really that hungry," Grace said as he began to drive. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, holding her leather jacket shut tightly with the hope that Luke wouldn't hear the angry growl her stomach emitted in protest of this statement. Luke cast a sideways glance at her.
"Maybe you will be when we get home," Luke had shrugged. Grace had been expecting him to argue with her, knowing she was hungry. Had Luke grown wise of her tactics when she wasn't paying attention? She looked at him as he drove, keeping his eyes focused on the road. He only ever glanced at Grace when he was at a red light or stop sign or a stationary point in the car. When on the highway she noticed, if it was deserted and the weather wasn't acting up, he might cast a short glance at her before diligently returning his attention to the road. She attributed this fact to Kevin's accident's profound effect on all the Girardi's and their driving strategies. Better safe than sorry, right?
Luke had been right. Upon returning to the Girardi house, she had given in to her empty stomach and had devoured the leftovers that Helen had heated perfectly just as they were entering. Though her mouth had watered and her stomach was begging her to scarf every bit down, Grace did her best to eat slowly, so as not to draw too much attention to the fact that she hadn't eaten all day. No doubt Helen would have something to say about that. After they'd started their meals and no longer needed her assistance, Helen had left the two of them to eat together.
"What's this like second dinner for you?" Grace asked him. Luke smiled slightly, recalling their Thanksgiving conversation.
"Nope, I waited for you," He told her. Grace frowned.
"You didn't have to do that. You should've eaten with your family," She felt guilty. Luke shrugged.
"I wanted to eat with you," He told her. "Besides, Kev and Lily came over for dinner and since I wasn't eating I got to hog Caleb for a good hour while they did," He announced proudly. "Of course…he puked on my twice, but I think that was because he scoffed down his whole bottle in like 3 nanoseconds…" Luke rambled. Grace looked at him and it was then that she noticed that the blue button up shirt was wearing had a dark circle near his left shoulder that looked like he'd spilled something and then cleaned it before letting it dry. She half smirked, realizing that Caleb had, indeed gotten sick on Luke.
"Well who wouldn't get sick, looking at a geek like you?" Grace said, leaving her head bowed to hide the small smirk that was on it now. Luke mocked a gasp, pretending to be offended by this.
"Are you possibly, suggesting that I'm less than stunningly tuna?" He asked. Grace laughed at this. She enjoyed swapping the phrase 'tuna' back and forth in replacement of 'handsome' in public after they'd found out that it was a synonym for the word handsome. They enjoyed the fact that it normally made people stare at them, wondering what in the world they could be speaking about.
"Maybe canned tuna," She suggested, glancing at him.
"Only if I'm dolphin safe," Luke countered, "Am I dolphin safe?"
"Hmm, yes you are. But since they're such big cans of tuna, they're held together in those plastic six-pack holders like soda cans, so you're only as safe as the poor unsuspecting customer who purchases you," Grace nodded. Luke offered up a pathetic frown and let his eyes glaze over. Grace almost shook with a mixture of irritation and urgency at this face.
"I hate when you do that…" She told him. Luke grinned after another minute when she gave in and kissed him, albeit even if it was on the forehead. His face became serious.
"Are you going to be okay?" He asked. Grace eyed him. It was just like him to dive in and inquire of her well being when he'd just successfully gotten her mind off of whatever problem-usually her mother-was currently plaguing her life. She sighed, reluctant to answer the question.
"I'll be fine," She told him. "What time is our flight tomorrow?" She changed the subject.
"3:30," He told her. "Just enough time to drop our stuff off and for me to get to work." He smiled. Grace frowned.
"I'm sorry…I know you have two papers due," She felt immense guilt for making him come with her.
"Shut up, don't even start that again. We talked about that the whole flight here," He frowned. "Besides I got one of them done while you were gone," He couldn't understand why Grace couldn't grasp that she was more important to him then school, work or science. Grace couldn't fathom that anything was more important to Luke that science. But then again, there were the occasions when she could feel deep within her soul that there was nothing in the world, or the known universe that was more important to Luke than Grace. These were the times that shook her to the very center of her being. Grace wasn't sure she was reliable enough to hold such meaning to any single person without becoming as big of a disappointment to them as her mother had been to her. Weren't parental traits genetic? Wasn't she destined to disappoint Luke and then avoid him like her mother and father had respectively done to her?
As if he could search her face and read these thoughts, Luke reached out a hand and trapped her cheek in his palm, making it impossible to turn her face away from him.
"I wish you wouldn't do this to yourself…" He told her. She was shaken again by the sadness that was visible in his eyes. "None of this is your fault." He stated firmly. Grace bit down on the corner of her bottom lip. She wanted more than anything to believe that was true, but the electrically charged mass of gray matter inside of her skull wouldn't connect whatever signals were required to believe it. She sighed, turning her eyes downward since her face was being held still by Luke.
It was now that her heart started to pound, and her eyes began to fill. Great. She'd gone through an entire day, over analyzing her entire existence, and the events of the past few months and managed not to cry. It would have been okay to cry alone in her mother's hospital room where no one, not even her hibernating mother would have heard her or bothered to inquire of her well being. Now, when the one person who cared most about her in life, the one person she wished not to see her cry, was here to witness the beginnings of an uncontrollable cascading deluge of emotion that she wished would just stay inside of her and never rear its nasty face. Instead, Grace blinked and felt the burning, viscous, rolling of a heavy tear skimming down over her cheek and to her chin. If Luke hadn't been aware of it from the way her head was now cast downward, he was aware of it the second it split from the skin of her chin and landed directly on the knee of his jeans.
"Grace," He said her name quietly, almost desperately. She fought not to look at him but the silence drew her eyes to his. His own eyes were filled at the sight of her pain. "I…" He shook his head with his mouth open at a loss. "Tell me what I can do, because I don't know how to help you unless you tell me…" He pleaded his statement as if his very life depended on her telling him how to help her. Grace felt a new wave of guilt, sadness and pain washing over her. Her stomach was churning and she felt like she could explode. Had she already been a disappointment to him and not realized it?
"Please?" He inquired her again. Grace shook her head with a weak shrug, biting back any more tears from escaping her eyes.
"I don't know," She said feebly. Luke frowned. He wasn't going to accept this. In a swift motion he drew he to him tightly, refusing to let up when she's struggled at first. When did Luke get this strong? She had wondered. Soon after, her exhausted frame had relaxed into him. She breathed slowly, regulating her emotions in the comfort of his presence. He had started speaking to her, softly. She was positive she wouldn't have heard him, had his mouth not been so close to her ear. Grace didn't respond vocally, but he slowly felt her arms circle around him and she clutched onto him nearly as tightly as he was holding her to him.
"It's going to be okay, Grace," He said as if it were his solemn oath to her. She wanted to ask him how he was so sure but was afraid to. "I promise you, I don't know exactly how, but we'll figure it out. I'll be all right." He said just as sternly. She wasn't sure how or why but she felt her head nodding in the crook of his neck to indicate she'd heard him and she believed him.
"Tell her to call me when you two get settled back up at school," Joan ordered Luke. Johana had just answered the door to find Adam standing there. She had let him in and Joan had held her finger up to signal for him to give her a minute, so Jo had set about shutting the door behind him and they started to talk about how each other's day had been going. Colby had been at her desk, catching up on studying, something which she had been doing little to none of for the whole semester and now was cramming for last minute tests; make up work, homework, papers and finals. She had spent the morning in a screaming match with Brandon, who she'd run into in the cafeteria, along with Hayley. She had started giving Hayley a hard time and Brandon had been quick to defend Hayley, causing Colby to cause a scene and scream at Brandon. Now she was getting easily irritated at Jo and Adam for talking to each other near her and at Joan for talking louder on the phone now that Adam and Jo were talking.
"Okay. Yeah. We're flying in on December 22nd, can you tell mom?" Joan asked into the phone. "Okay. Sounds good," Joan was nodding as the conversation wound down. "Oh, and Luke?" She paused, obviously waiting for him to respond to assure that he was listening. "I'm serious…I might not be there for you to put your head in my lap and spill your guts, and a stupid phone call might not seem like much but it's better than nothing if it's all we've got for right now, okay? Call me if you need to. You can be strong for Grace you know, and still let us be strong for you," She told him.
"Oh God, could you be any lamer?" Colby shouted from her desk as she screamed into her palms. Jo and Adam stared at Colby, shocked and Joan rolled her eyes.
"I've gotta go Squirt, her highness is being a royal snob," Joan cracked. "Later," She said before hanging up. Colby didn't seem to hear the insult. She walked over towards Colby's desk and slammed the phone down into its receiver. Colby looked at her. "You can blow it out your ass, Colby. None of us care that you've waited until the last minute to get yourself together so get over yourself," She grabbed her things and looked at Adam and Johana. "Are we ready to go?"
Both of them nodded at her in shock and followed her out the door as Colby sat, staring in shock after Joan. Once they'd gotten outside and the shock wore off both Johana and Adam erupted in laughter.
"Ha-Ha! Wow! That was so awesome!" Johana cheered. Joan blushed and shrugged.
"I may have been a little harsh," She suggested.
"I think I detected a little bit of Grace back there, Jane," He commented as he wound his arm around her. Joan blushed.
"Ah well, I've got to pick up the slack, you know, in her absence," She said, popping the collar of her shirt up to exaggerate the coolness she was trying to exude. The expression only lasted on her face for a second before they all chuckled again.
"So, are they okay?" Johana asked. "Your brother and, Grace, is it?"
"Yeah," Joan nodded. "Grace's mom's kind of touch and go right now though," She didn't want to get too specific, knowing Grace wouldn't want her too. Joan wanted more then anything to fly back and be in Arcadia for Grace, even though she knew Grace would probably punch her shoulder and yell at her for disrupting her life for what Grace would call a stupid reason. Joan knew that if the situation were reversed, Grace would already have flown back and been standing at Joan's side, fending off anyone who had the intent of giving Joan a hard time.
"They said she was going to be okay though, didn't they?" Adam asked. Joan nodded.
"Yeah, but they're going to be keeping her probably for another week or two at least," Joan stated. "But enough about this," She continued with a wave of her hand and a shake of her head. "What are our plans for the day?"
"I vote sushi for lunch," Jo said, putting her hand in the air and turning to walk backwards facing her friends with a hopeful face. Joan shrugged.
"Fine with me I guess," She looked at Adam. His taste wasn't particularly attuned for sushi but he knew there were dishes on the menu that he liked so her nodded in agreement. This cause Johana to clap her hands and squeal din delight nearly jumping up and down as she joined Joan and walked on the side that Adam wasn't occupying. She and Jo linked arms as the three of them trekked for the closest sushi place they could find.
They were seated as soon as they arrived and within three or four minutes their waiter approached with cups of water.
"Beau?" Joan recognized the waiter as Brandon's other roommate. He was thin but well defined guy, standing at 5'9" with blonde hair that hung to his eyebrows and the tops of his ears. It was wet and full of gel and they could tell he'd arrived for work probably only ten or twenty minutes before they'd gotten there. Beau looked up to see who was sitting at his table now that he knew it was someone he should at least know. He smelled.
"Hey guys," He looked around at them. Beau and his girlfriend had gone out Friday night and found Johana and Tristan at the movie theater. After the movie the four of them had met Joan, Adam, Brandon and Hayley at O'Malley's. Shortly after they had arrived, Flynn had come in with two of his friends and they had joined the large group. The night had progressed from some friends eating bar food and sharing some drinks to dancing, laughing, singing, getting to know each other better and fierce darts, foosball, pool and pinball competitions. The group was finally kicked out at closing time to fend for themselves and walk home, still joking and singing and enjoying each other's company.
"How's your head this morning?" Adam asked with a laugh. Beau absently rubbed the back of his head.
"Well it's not swelling, no thanks to you two," He looked pointedly at Johana and Joan who both feigned innocence. They couldn't hold their laughter back though and giggled at him. "Yeah, yeah it's real funny to knock a drunk guy into a freezing fountain at almost 4 am, isn't it?" He said, having trouble holding back his own laughter.
After they had knocked Beau into the fountain from where he'd been walking along the ledge everyone had exchanged glances and jumped in, deciding it was a good idea at the time.
Five minutes in the fountain, after everyone was thoroughly soaked, Hayley commented that she felt like she was in a bad version of the Friends' theme song, which only incited Johana, Joan and Adam to break into a slightly slurred and off tuned version of the Friend's theme song, and everyone clapped and started singing along, resuming their dancing and splashing in the fountain. Joan laughed at the memory of their pathetic moment, knowing she would not soon forget this memory. It hadn't been until a passing cop had ordered them out of the fountain that they noticed that Beau's head was slightly welted and he realized he'd hit his head on the fountain.
"So what can I get everyone?" Beau asked. He took their orders and talked to them for another moment before heading to place their order and get their drinks.
"What's on the agenda for the night?" Adam asked. Joan stretched and sighed as her shoulder cracked. Professor Brink's classes, Joan and Hayley had found out, definitely intensified as they progressed.
"I've got a paper to finish before tomorrow," She groaned. "Or else I have to remain locked in the room with Colby to finish it Monday night," She grimaced. Adam nodded and looked at Joan to inquire her plans.
"Jessie's got an extended class that I opted into for Sundays," Joan said. Johana and Adam looked at her strangely. "Oh! I mean, uhm, Professor Brink," she cleared her throat. "Anyway, it's from 6 until 9:30," She told them. Adam looked disappointed. Joan noticed this. "But," she smiled, "You've got me until dinner?" She offered.
"On that note, I'm hitting the ladies'," Johana excused herself. Joan grinned and laughed slightly.
"Yeah, she's not so subtle, is she?" She asked. Adam shook his head.
"But that's okay," He smiled at her.
"So what's the plan after this?" Joan asked him.
"I have to go and pick up some supplies at the art store," He told her. "Other then that," He shrugged, "I'm up for anything you are."
"Actually, shopping sounds like a good idea." She replied. "I do have some various things I need to get."
Adam nodded and smiled, "Okay."
"But…" Joan leaned across the table, stopping just before his lips and wiggling her eyebrows. "That shouldn't take too long…" She said, assuring she sounded at least a little bit seductive. She smiled when Adam swallowed hard. "I'm sure we could find some place suitable for some alone time, don't you?" She asked, still dangerously closer to him. He nodded enthusiastically and closed the gap between them.
"Do you want this drink on the table or should I pour it on you two to cool you off?" Beau said as he stopped next to their table. Adam and Joan blushed and Beau laughed at them. "Relax, it's a joke, guys."
Johana rejoined them and soon after they were served their food. They talked about finals and courses, and the upcoming Christmas break over their lunch. Joan, Adam could tell, was anxious to return home. He knew it was harder for her to be away from her family then for him to be away from his dad. She wanted to see her nephew. She wanted to see if her Dad was okay, still flinching every time she heard any kind of news involving police injuries, despite the fact that they were across the country from him. She even admitted that she missed her mother trying to engage her and give her advice. She was also dying to see Luke and Grace, he knew. Adam on the other hand had missed his dad throughout November but he found that at the distance with nothing to occupy him but art and his Jane, he managed to make it through the month relatively okay this year.
On the anniversary of his mother's death, Joan had approached him when he was crossing the commons and heading for the dorm.
"Come with me," She said, taking his hand and leading him in another direction. Adam had not responded and just let her lead him. It had been late and he'd spent the past two hours wondering around and thinking. Now the sun was just beginning to set and he wanted to crawl into his bed and not emerge until morning, if at all.
With the touch of Jane's warm skin in his hand and her body so close next to his, however, he was starting to feel relieved. He found that t he overwhelming sadness couldn't completely overtake him when she was around.
It led him to wonder if his mom had been looking out for him all along. Maybe she knew that he was hurting because of her and since she couldn't be there to console him, Jane was. Maybe she had something to do with that. She could've struck up a deal with God, perhaps, that wound up bringing Jane to him, through her little tasks. Anything was possible, apparently.
Finally, after a good fifteen minute walk that led them down a hiking trail and through a patch of woods, Joan had stopped. Adam hadn't been paying attention, he'd been letting his mind water.
"Here, come sit," She ordered. And there on the grassy of the cliff she'd brought him to was a blanket, lying spread out on the ground. One he sat down, Joan sat herself down between his spread legs and leaned back against him. Just as she'd expected, his arms laced easily around her, pulling her back towards him as if she was the only thing anchoring him to this plane and if he let go he might float up through the atmosphere into utter nothingness.
Joan wrapped her own arms around his and put her head back on his shoulder so that her face was next to his.
"Why are we here?" He asked her. Joan pointed out at the breathless sunset in front of them.
"Don't you see it?" She asked. Adam looked at the sight before him. True, it was beautiful, but on a day like this, everything was less interesting. Everything except his Jane really. Joan shook her head sadly ad him. "It was her favorite time of day Adam, I'd expect she'd give you a spectacular show on a day like this one," She said, settling back against him and looking at the magnificent color spectacle taking place before them. The hues of orange, red, pink, purple, light and dark blue were mixing into a giant span of what Joan often claimed looked like someone left multiple containers of sherbet out to melt together, sometimes among fluffy clouds.
Adam stared at her, his breath hitching in his throat. Joan heard this and glanced at him.
"Are you all right?" She asked, worried. He nodded, his eyes wide.
"How did you know that?" He inquired urgently.
"Know what?" Joan countered.
"That it was her favorite time of day?" He replied. Joan shrugged, not really sure if she wanted to tell him. It might upset him more. He eyed her. She knew more than she was letting on. Swallowing hard Joan sighed.
"She told me," Joan closed her eyes and hunched her shoulders, not sure how Adam was going to react.
"What?" He asked, dumbfounded.
"I just thought it was a dream…but since that's only ever the case when it's mean koalas in hats…I figured it wasn't," Joan shrugged. "She wanted you here. So I brought you here, you don't hate me do you?" She asked. Adam, still skeptical, quizzed Joan and found that she could describe Adam's mom perfectly, including the dress she'd been buried in. For the rest of the sunset, they sat in silence.
Adam hadn't spoken about the subject until the next morning. He'd knocked on Joan's door at 5 am, causing Colby to scream at him, but he didn't hear it. As soon as he'd seen that Joan opened the door he pulled her against him and kissed her passionately. When he pulled away, Joan was dazed and still half asleep. She was about to ask what he'd been doing there when he cut her off.
"Thank you, Jane…" It was all he'd said, but it was more then enough for Joan to understand. She'd simply offered a smile and kissed him again before hugging him tightly.
"Welcome home," Ella said when Grace entered JB's and walked to her and Luke's booth and tossed her bag into the bench seat. Ella put down her tray of dirty dishes and enveloped Grace in a hug. Grace had just turned around when she found herself in Ella's embrace. Awkwardly she hugged Ella back. Ella eyed her up and down carefully after pulling away. She put her hand on her waist as she hoisted the tray to her shoulder again. "Next time I give you a hug, Gracious, I expect you to show me how you really feel about me, kid," She ordered. "None of this half hugging business, I don't tolerate that!" She smiled and gave Grace's face a loving stroke down her cheek before heading towards the back to dump the dishes as Grace flushed red.
Depositing herself into the booth, she dug out two of her textbooks and a notebook. She began pouring over them and doing homework with a pen in her hand and a pencil tucked behind her ear. She cursed herself for being left handed when, after two hours, she noticed that the whole bottom side of her hand was covered in pencil gray and blue pen. Putting her pen down in disgust, she grabbed a napkin and dabbed it into her cup of water before trying to haphazardly clean her hand.
"Grace?"
Grace lifted her head to see that Fleur was standing at her booth looking at her. When she realized she was right, that it was Grace, Fleur smiled.
"I thought it was you there," She smiled. "Can I sit?" Fleur indicated the other side of the booth.
"If you want," Grace shrugged, drying off her now semi-clean hand.
"How's your mom?" Fleur asked. Grace flinched and Fleur smiled. "Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I didn't mean to upset you," She sounded sincerely apologetic.
"It's fine, really," Grace said with a deep breath. "They said she'll be fine." Grace answered Fleur's question vaguely. Fleur seemed to accept this.
"Yeah," Fleur nodded. "It's nice that you went to see her," She smiled nervously. "My mom's a total wine-o, I've given up on calling to see how she is," Fleur continued wit ha nonchalant wave of her hand. Grace stared at her, shocked that she could admit it so freely. Fleur, she'd found out, was 23, and just finishing her graduate degree this year. She and Aurelia, or Rails as everyone had called her due to it being a nickname for her full name and because she was rail thin, had an apartment with her. They'd been together since they were juniors in College. Aurelia was PR representative for an acting firm which was headquartered out of NYC. Her office was currently in Boston, however.
"Anyway, whatcha working on?" She looked down at Grace's books, turning her head to try and read it upside down. She noticed Grace's silence and looked up to see the shocked, horror-stricken look on Grace's face. "What's wrong?" She questioned. After a moment of searching the look on Grace's face and thinking of what she'd said, it dawned on Fleur. "Oh, hey, I'm sorry, I didn't know…" She cleared her throat. "So, is that why your mom's in the hospital?" She made a bold move to ask Grace. Grace looked, and felt trapped. In truth she was only comfortable with certain people, like the Girardi's, knowing about this part of her life. She barely knew Fleur, no matter how nice the girl was. "Hey, relax, we can talk about something else," Fleur assured, putting a reassuring hand on Grace's forearm. Grace fought the urge to yank it away. She swallowed hard. Fleur pulled her hand away.
"Well, I'll leave you to your work so I don't upset you anymore," She cleared her throat and stood. She turned back and looked at Grace. "Hey, listen, if you ever do want or need to talk or anything you know how to reach me," She told Grace. Grace could only nod in response. Fleur waved goodbye to Luke and left. Luke was just clocking out. Grace shook her shock away, not wanting to recount what just happened to Luke as he sat across from her.
"Ready to go?" He asked. Grace shrugged, but started putting her things away.
"My place or yours?" She asked a few minutes later when they'd stepped outside.
"Yours," Luke told her. Grace nodded and they turned and started walking. "There's and X-Files marathon on TNT tonight straight through until tomorrow morning," Luke commented as they walked. Grace chuckled at this.
"Great, I could use the sleep," She retorted. Luke laughed.
"I think you'd look hot with red hair," He commented. Grace raised an eyebrow.
"Dude, I'm not Scully," She said, sticking her tongue out and shaking her head disgusted. Luke seemed to consider this and nodded.
"Yeah," He looked at her like he was studying her now. She squirmed slightly under his gaze. She looked at him as if to ask what he was staring at when he continued. "That was more just to get a rise out of you I think," He smiled, "I much prefer you the way you are," He nodded. Grace snickered.
"Right," She nodded slowly as they entered her dorm. Missy was nowhere to be seen and Grace couldn't remember where she'd say she was going to be gone. She put her stuff down and quickly started changing into her pajamas. Luke was putting his stuff down and his coat on her chair when he noticed something on her desk and laughed slightly.
"What?" Grace asked, taking a few steps closer now that she'd changed. Luke held his hand out.
"I can't believe you still have this," He smiled. Grace looked down and saw the geode he'd given her before they'd started dating.
"Why did you give me that rock?" She'd asked stopping to look at him, that night when he'd been walking her home from the hospital where Joan was.
"It's a geode," He had protested, his palms sweating, and his heart thudding in his ribcage.
"To me it's a rock. Why?" She demanded. Luke loved her intensity. It proved to him that she was fighting something within her. He had a chance.
He'd continued to fight with her about trends, courtship, being anti.
"What do you care what people think? I mean, if you're anti. You know, shouldn't you like the idea of us if you're so anti?" He'd cornered her, so he thought.
"I'm not that anti," She said dryly.
Luke smiled slightly at the memory.
"Look, I'm not into you! Got it?" She'd screamed at him a few minutes later and mere seconds before she'd surged forward and they'd connected together.
Grace blushed and took the rock from his hand. There was a rupture line that clearly split it in half. She had obviously glued it back together. Luke recalled that night. She'd crawled in through his window in the pouring rain, eyes red and visibly pissed and upset. He'd asked what happened and she had held out both hands, with a broken half of the geode in each palm. Luke had taken her hands in his and examined the geode before smiling to her and reporting that it was all right and could be fixed with super glue. He'd gone into his desk and retrieved some, before telling her he'd get her some sweats to change into so she wasn't soaked.
"Yeah well…it's a good paper weight," She lied. Luke smiled at her, knowingly and she saw this. "Drop it, brain," she warned, pushing her hair behind her ear and averting her eyes. "Come on, I'm cold," She walked by and slid under the covers of her bed. Luke disrobed down to his underwear hopped over her, burrowing behind her. She turned on the TV, reluctantly to TNT to find that the X-Files marathon was indeed on. She rolled her eyes. Luke heard her steady breathing kick in just before the first theme song ended and he laughed to himself before kissing her on the top of her head and tightening his arms around her, turning his attention to the TV to try and get tired. Finals were coming up, and they'd be back in Arcadia soon, plus there was still the whole Ryan debacle to mull over. Luke sighed. How could anyone sleep when so much was going on?
"What's in this for me?" Friedman asked.
"Revenge, brillo head," Ryan grinned evilly. "Don't you want it? That Girardi kid, he took the girl you wanted and then dumped her. He and the girl tested out of senior year and moved on and you got left in the dust. He destroyed your science fair project. His sister and Grace, they made your life hell, slapping you around all the time. It's only fair they get what they deserve isn't it?" He asked with a knowing grin. "It's only logic, do the math," He coerced. The teenage rubbed his chin in thought.
After a good five minutes, he finally nodded. After all, he was smart enough to know that if he declined, it was the end for him. The only logical choice was to agree. Luke would understand. After all, it was human nature and instinct to want to survive. He nodded.
"Okay, I'll do it," He said. Ryan smiled wickedly and shook his hand.
"Good man," He said. "Now, here's what's going to happen. We've only got two, maybe three weeks to plan this out," He began to plot out the plan for Friedman, who listened and nodded.
A/N: Okay, so here you go. I'm not really sure about this chapter myself so I really need to know what you honestly think, okay? P.S. the chapter title is from 'Strong Enough To Break' by Hanson. Yes, yes, I admit it, I totally love Hanson. It's sick I know but what can I say...music rocks...Okay, moving on from my guilty pleasures...on to responses:
Responses: Sayxanything – Wow, I'm worth waiting for? Good to know! ) Wow, thanks for the compliments…I'm blushing! Seriously! Anti-Like Grace – Now I'm blushing more. Thanks! I'm not really used to updating this much, usually I lose my muse. Somehow, for this (knock on wood) I haven't. Kool-Wolf – Powers of the internet? Please, you cyber punk! Ha, I spooked you didn't I? I just didn't want to outright tell you to die….and it was late…I blame sleep deprivation. Eh. Freak? You wanna see a freak? I've got a mirror for you to look into, my foe! Butterfly Dancing – Luke is awesome and I keep telling myself I have to make him mess up because nobody's perfect but I can't figure out how he should screw up. Have fun camping! Coveredinrain16 – How was that J/A for ya? Aw yeah, tricky, tricky, I like the sneak attack approach in stories. I've got more in store for this one. ) Audrey – YAY! YOU UPDATED! WOOT! I was totally excited when I saw you updated, it was sick how much withdraw I was in, yo. Tiffany – Hey…great minds…wait you already said that, oops! Dude, no story is ever original. Not really. Just someone's take on something that's already been done somewhere along the line. You don't have to change your story cause I do something, I wouldn't say you were ripping anything off. If it fits your story, go for it, okay? Can't wait for your return! E-mail me when you get back about how it was! Carol – Aw, thank you! As I said, I'm blushing, seriously. Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying it! How'd you like this chapter? Is there anything you think I'm doing badly at in this story? Sam – Ah! Don't short out your keyboard with drool, yo! Hey, Grace is sly like that, don't you think? The Glynis factor needs to be stepped up a notch. I think I'll tinker with it during the Christmas break coming up, what do you think? Hahaha, I know, but if you picture Luke without the glasses like he is in the story, and with like a t-shirt and jeans on, it's pretty hot, lol. Yeah, I know the Grace and the Luke part were unusual, but like I said, growing characters change over time, right? Besides, when stressful things happen in a person's life they do tend to act a little out of character sometimes. ) MDM79 – Haha, glad you liked Luke in the band! Tell me you like the song 'Laid' by James, because I'll be disappointed if you don't! ) How'd I do for this chapter? Anything in here suck?
FYI: Tiffany's story "Unexpected" will be updated when she gets back from her vacation, so don't think she disappeared for ever! (If you haven't read her story, go over and read it now! Cause I said so and you love me don't you? It's here: http/ )