I think I'm subconsciously trying to keep the story under ten chapters since school has started and, well, Physics and fanfics don't mix if you're not a genius. When summer comes around, I'll try to rewrite. Still, I hope you enjoy.

Thanks to HarryPottergrl19 and Ondesxavier for your encouragement. Your kind words made my day. Thank you very much.

To ShadowKat-Shidobukatsu, I apologize for the confusion. I hope, since the people in this chapter have been named (Kenren finally remembers their names!) it would be less confusing.

To all those who continuously read this fic, thank you for taking the time.

- Paris

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences.

Those Beautiful Green Eyes

Chapter Four

Somehow, the reddish pre-stormy night sky of the mortal world is appealing to me. I am lying on a grassy field and have spent the past few hours watching the changing of the sky while enjoying my favorite brand of cigarettes. I stare at the heavy clouds that spoke of the oncoming rain.

I can almost remember something.

Something I am pretty sure I did not live, but for some reason dwells in my memory. I've been remembering a lot of those lately: memories that are not mine. Like dreams, they invade my mind without being summoned, but unlike dreams they visit me when I am awake.

I stretch out lazily.

The memories don't bother me. They are part of the life I lived as I slept in heaven. They're mine and yet someone else's. They're the memories of my reincarnation on earth. I don't know what will trigger my unlived memories, but I have come to accept and expect them.

The only question that I have is who is the strange man I live my memories with? Like Tenpou, he has green eyes, but one of his eyes is dulled by blindness. Also, like Tenpou, the man means very much to me.

I take a long drag from my cigarette.

Konzen did say that the eyes are the window to the soul, and that man's eyes, although more somber and masking so much pain are very much like Tenpou's. Could that man be Tenpou in our earthly life? There's really no way to know other than to look for him. I've got to start somewhere and he's my only lead. If he's still alive, then I have to figure out where he is. But how the hell do I do that?

I could find out how I lived my life here on earth...

But I don't even know what my name was.

And like a cursed blessing the rain fell.

Whenever rain falls, I am torn. I hate seeing you depressed like this, staring out of the window, reflecting on the shadows of the past. On the other hand, this is the time when you are most honest with yourself and the reality of your pain is something I like to see. I like seeing the real you and I hate seeing you in pain, but the real you is always in pain.

Am I making any sense?

You're staring at your hands again watching the blood that isn't there drip down to the floor. You look so lost and alone sitting on the bed by the window, though I am here on the other bed watching you. I want to go to you and hold those hands and show you that not everything you touch gets stained with blood. I just can't stand seeing you like this, but at the same time, the honesty of your emotions mesmerizes me.

"Oi," I call out to you softly. "Hakkai."

You ball your hands up into a fist, as if hiding the blood I cannot see from me. "Ha...hai?" you reply tentatively. I know that like me you are torn. You want to forget your past and yet the truth of it, to you, is so compelling that you absolutely have to live it every chance you get.

I reach into my bag and pull out a deck of cards. "Do you want to play?"

You hesitate. You lower your eyes, debating on whether or not you should turn me down. "I'm sorry, but..."

I hang on to your words while my mind races on what to do next.

"... I'm really not in the mood right now."

I shrug, "That's fine." I put away the cards. At least I tried. "Do you mind if I sit with you?" I try again.

"It's not like you to ask," you reply. You didn't say you mind, though.

You're back to staring outside the window. I notice that your hands are palms up on your lap. In a short while your eyes are drawn to your hands like magnets. I wonder if you even know when you start staring at your bloodstained hands.

I take your hands into mine. "No matter how hard I look, I can't see what you find so interesting," I tell you half-jokingly.

You're surprised by my actions. "Gojyo?"

"What are you looking at? What do you see?" I finally voice out the questions that have long bothered me. I raise my hands up so you can see them. "Look at my hands. They're clean. I held your hands, but my hands are still clean."

"Ano..." you smile at me in a crooked way. You look wonderful when you smile...

... Especially when the smile is real.

"...you have a lot of dust on your hands."

What? You laugh. It isn't hearty laughter, but at least you're laughing. I frown at you. "Don't change the topic, Hakkai."

"I'm sorry," you idly brush away some of the hair that has fallen over your eyes. I realize just how beautiful you look. How...perfect.

"It wasn't your fault, Hakkai," I tell you as I have told you before so many times. I don't know why, but I want to keep on saying your name. Like saying it over and over will bring you close to me and far away from that past you wish to but can't leave.

You nod as you have done so before so many times. "It was her choice, I know. But I can't help but think about what could have happened if I'd gotten there sooner."

I don't know. What would have happened if my brother had not gotten there soon enough.

"Ne, Gojyo," I am at once drawn by the question in your voice. "Have you ever wondered about the demons you've killed? What lives they led or what family they're leaving behind?"

"I blame the Minus Wave," I answer nonchalantly as I reach into my pocket and pull out a cigarette.

As I search my pockets for my lighter, you watch me with interest. I kind of like being the center of your attention. At least you're not drowning yourself in the rain with those memories of yours. Aw... damn. Where's that stupid lighter? Oh yeah, that corrupt monk helped himself to it when he found out his was out of gas. Shit.

I hear a scratching sound and then a red light catches my eye.

"Let me," you hold a lit match out to me. "Sanzo has your lighter, remember?"

"Yeah," I manage to grunt out through teeth holding onto my cigarette. I lean into the flame and light my smoke.

With a flick of the wrist, you extinguish the flame. "Thank you, Gojyo. I feel better now," in the moonlit night, your face is absolutely serene.

Moonlight? That means...

"Hey, Hakkai."

"Hm?"

"The rain has stopped."

There you go. I run my fingers through my rain-soaked hair. "Gojyo, Hakkai, and a high ranking monk," that's everything I need. If I find out what these guys did in their lives, then maybe I could find out where Hakkai... or Tenpou is.

I stand up and brush the rain off my uniform. Sometimes fate does work with me. Now, all I have to do is find the temple of that Sanzo, since Gojyo and Hakkai seem to be obscure characters, and work my way from there.

This shouldn't be too difficult.