Monday July 24, 1995
Alicia's owl comes as I'm deciding what to wear. Balthazar Takashi will be at Quality Quidditch Supplies at noon. Alicia writes that her mother suspects nothing and that she had a wonderful time in Paris. Marcus took her to the opera not realizing exactly what he was getting himself into. Fifteen minutes it he was so bored he had to find a way to occupy himself. "I'm glad we had a balcony to ourselves so no one could see what he was doing. I think I hit some high notes that night," Alicia wrote. I laugh for a whole five minutes. Alicia tells me not to forget to study. Our Apparation test is on Thursday.

I choose a yellow dress because it's bright and I know most of the fans will be wearing orange and black.

The store is already full by the time I get there. A few smiles and touches and I'm near the front.

I pick up a free poster near the cleaning supplies. Takashi grins up at me, his almond eyes sparkling. His hair is long, black and glossy. I want to run my hands through it.

At noon exactly Takashi enters from a side door, followed by a slew of people who stand on either side of him. A flash of his white teeth and the crowd goes wild. The women touch their hair and check their faces in their mirrors. I want to go home already. Takashi is as handsome as he looks in his photos, but he's becoming too real for me. I can't leave the store, though. The people are pushing forward and I would draw too much attention to myself to go in the opposite direction.

It's boring for the most part. Takashi makes a speech, the audience asks him a few questions, and a queue begins for his autograph. I stay because I have to get something out of this experience. I'll be disappointed otherwise.

"And who should I sign this to?" Takashi asks me, taking my poster. When I tell him he looks up at me and smiles. I smile back, my heart racing. "Are you in school?"

"I'll be going into seventh year."

"So you'll be taking your Apparation test soon."

"Thursday."

Balthazar smiles again. "Brilliant. The key is concentration. Remember that." He shakes my hand before I'm pushed out of the way by one of his more rabid fans.

I think about ice cream as I leave the store. I want a sundae.

Florean Fortescue's is relatively empty. I sit by the window with my treat and think about what I want to do for the rest of the day. I don't feel like going home.

"Excuse me, Miss. May I sit down?"

The man wears dark robes. In his hand is a worn book with the Chudley Cannons logo on it. He was among the men accompanying Balthazar Takashi.

"Do whatever you like," I reply.

You hear about this sort of thing happening, but you don't really believe it will happen to you. Takashi wants me to meet him in a room at the Leaky Cauldron. I stare at Antonio Finkus, his manager, wondering what kind of girl he thinks I am. I'm not above this sort of thing. I'm more concerned that he thinks I'm some naive school girl ripe for the picking.

I'm not sure why I say yes. I try to figure it out as I sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for Takashi to arrive. It must be because he's a celebrity. Who doesn't want to sleep with someone famous? It's all about being close to glory and all the things we've always wanted. Or maybe I just want to shag somebody.

Before Mr. Finkus leaves the room he hands me a familiar potion and makes sure I drink it. Takashi comes in afterwards, smiling. I begin to feel like I'm drifting outside my body.

Takashi kisses me everywhere but my mouth. I don't mind. The foreplay is short and soon he's inside me, thrusting, groaning, and saying the most ridiculous things. It doesn't hurt this time. I understand better why people like sex.

"You are bloody beautiful," Takashi says. He's dressed. He has to leave for an interview.

I'm lying in the middle of the bed, barely covered by the sheets. I smile. "You're not so bad yourself."

He grins. "Maybe someday I'll see you at a game."

"Maybe." In my fantasies, I'm chaser for the Holyhead Harpies, beating the pants off his team.

Thursday July 27, 1995
Alicia is looking at me like she's never seen me before as we walk down the corridors of the Ministry of Magic. She can't believe I slept with a famous Quidditch player. Even after two days, her brain won't accept it. She kept asking me what it was like, what he was like. I've told the story ten times in increments.

"You better get that look off your face before we go in there," I say when we get to the Apparation Test Center. "There'll be people in there we know."

Alicia nods and tries to look nonchalant. She looks like she's hiding something.

Fred, George, and Lee are waiting for us in the outer office along with a few other students from Hogwarts. Fred and I hug awkwardly. How do you greet the person who took your virginity?

Lee immediately starts talking about the chameleon he got and George starts wondering aloud if he can use any chameleon parts for whatever he and Fred are working on.

"It looks like I won't be able to see you after this," Fred whispers to me. "My Mum's not too keen on any of us going out."

"We'll see each other at school," I offer consolingly.

"I know, but…"

"There's nothing to worry about. There's always abandoned classrooms and such."

"I'm not worried about that."

Then what is he worried about? There's an earnest expression on Fred's face. I try to convince myself this is not happening, not now.

"Spinnet!" one of the testers shouts.

Alicia squeaks and stands up. "I'm going to fail."

I look down at the notes in my hand and try to forget that Fred is beside me. I'm glad when he does the same.

--

We all pass. Just for fun we Apparate to Florean Fortescue's. Fred and George can only stay for a little while. I nudge Alicia and point out where I was sitting when Mr. Finkus approached me. Her eyes go wide and she blushes as if it was there I'd had sex with Takashi.

The five of us share a bowl of ice cream that is about the size of the table. We all feel as if we're going to be sick when we finish it.

We Apparate back to the Ministry where Mr. Weasley is waiting in the lobby.

"I'll owl you tomorrow," Fred tells me.

I nod slowly. My stomach hurts and I don't want to think about what he'll say in his letter.

We kiss briefly on the mouth before we say goodbye.

Saturday July 29, 1995
I wonder if Errol ever gets tired of slamming into my wall.

Fred's letter comes and it's not what I expect. He talks about Quidditch and wonders which one of us McGonagall which choose as Gryffindor captain. He says he won't be able to owl as frequently because he'll be away from home for a few days at a time.

I don't know what to make of the letter. Was Fred thinking of asking me to be his girlfriend and decided not to or was I over-thinking things yesterday?

I write him back and declare myself captain. I tell him to have fun wherever he's going.

Tuesday August 1, 1995
Nicco is there when Alicia and I arrive at Marcus'. For once, he looks relaxed. He's had two glasses of firewhiskey. When he sees me he smiles a little and hands me a package of cigarettes.

"You'll have to buy your own case," he says.

It's the same as any other day. We drink and do silly things, then make ourselves sober before a game of improvised Quidditch. After we shower and are feeling more like ourselves, Marcus suggests we go to the Muggle pub about a mile away. Nicco isn't too keen on the idea but we convince him.

The pub looks a lot like Madame Rosmerta's and has a friendly atmosphere. We have fun playing darts and learning how to play the pinball machines. Nicco looks uncomfortable the whole time and frequently touches where his wand is concealed.

"That was fun," Alicia says when we get back to the house. "Muggles aren't so bad."

Nicco snorts and mutters something under his breath.

Saturday August 6, 1995
To really celebrate passing the Apparating test, Alicia and I go to Muggle London. Alicia enjoys going to the stores like Harrods because it's so different from the Wizarding world. Everything under one roof was a concept I'd never known until I visited Muggle London.

We visit shop after shop, buying little things like soap, perfume and lotions. We save the clothes shopping until after we've had lunch. We need the energy.

I love Muggle fashion. The European Wizarding World needs to understand that it's time to stop wearing robes. I will continue to wear dresses until I die. This is the only thing I have in common with Mum. "These Europeans and their appalling sense of fashion," she always says to my aunt.

Alicia and I buy a few dresses that are bound to get us a few strange looks if we ever decide to wear them out. They're short, which is enough to get people muttering about indecent exposure.

We leave the knickers shop for last. It's like dessert.

"What do you think of this one?" Alicia holds up a lace bra. It looks uncomfortable, but I doubt she's getting it for its wonderful support.

"For Marcus?"

"I wanted to celebrate his birthday."

"His birthday is in January."

"There's no law that says you have to celebrate a birthday on the actual day," she replies.

"It's that what happens when you have a boyfriend? You start making stupid excuses to have sex."

"You make any excuse to have sex."

We spend half an hour in the shop. Alicia can be indecisive when she shops. She always wants to buy the best. Me, on the other hand, I just buy whatever I take a liking to. If I can't decide between something, I get both.

As Alicia is paying for her purchases, I walk around the store, looking for last minute finds. I'm near the door when it opens and Roger Davies walks in, followed by a young girl I assume is his sister. They both have the same dark hair and blue eyes.

"I'm not staying in here long," Roger tells his sister.

"You're such a bloody idiot. It's only knickers," she retorts.

"Oi! Language."

His sister scoffs and goes to the rack with lacy bras.

Roger swears under his breath. He doesn't move from the door. He shoves his hands in his pocket and looks anywhere but at the lacy things in front of him. It's too good an opportunity to pass up.

"Shopping for yourself?"

Roger jumps and I laugh.

"This is not happening," he says.

"I'm afraid it is. Don't be so embarrassed, Roger. Your sister's right. It's only knickers."

Roger wants to hit me.

"What do you think of this one?" Roger's sister asks, coming over to us. She holds up a bra similar to the one Alicia was looking at earlier.

"I don't know. I don't know anything about girl's undies," he replies.

"That's exactly the same thing Katie said," Alicia says, joining us. "Said it took you an hour to get off her bra."

"Oh good. You're here too." Roger wants to crawl in a hole and die, I can tell.

"Yes, Roger, a higher power does hate you," she replies. "Not for you, love. Too much lace. It's not very comfortable and not made for running around the schoolyard. Get something with less frills."

Roger brightens. "Look, you two can make fun of me all you want and I won't say a word if you can help her get three of those things, alright? I'll be back in half and hour." Roger is gone before we can agree.

"Bloody idiot," his sister mutters. Alicia and I agree.

Roger thanks us profusely when he gets back. I've never understood why men are so uncomfortable with women's underthings unless we're wearing it for them.

"Are you going home?" Roger asks. "It's still early. We can see a movie or go somewhere to eat?"

"Why so eager to be in our company?" I ask. Like most Hogwarts students, Roger never attempts deeper friendships with students from other Houses.

"I haven't seen anyone from school in weeks. I'm going out of my mind."

"I've never seen a movie before," Alicia says. "I like trying new things."

--

Movies are like Wizarding photos. This is the only explanation that makes sense to me. Roger tries to explain it using Muggle technical language, but Alicia and I stare at him with confused expressed and ask questions that when Roger answers confuses all of us.

After the movie, we go to a cafe next to the theatre. Roger's sister, Ana, sees some of her mates from school and sits with them. Roger is relieved because now we can talk freely.

"Have you been reading The Prophet?" he asks. "Is everything they're saying true? About Potter and Dumbledore?"

"Bunch of fucking lies," I reply, getting angry. I can't read The Prophet these days without getting upset. I almost thought of cancelling my subscription but I need to stay on top of what goes on in the media.

"I'm no expert but Dumbledore does seem a bit barmy—"

"He defeated Grindelwald," Alicia cut him off.

"That was ages ago. He's gotten old. He's probably senile."

Alicia and I glance at each other.

"You two are just defending him because he favours your House. If he didn't like Potter so much—"

"Ravenclaw still wouldn't have got the House Cup the last four years." It's my turn to cut him off. "I can't believe your basing your judgement on an award that won't mean shite when someone's trying to curse you with Avada Kedavra."

"I'm not basing it on that. All I'm saying is that TheProphet makes a good case."

"Roger, you're a bloody idiot," Alicia says, no trace of humour in her voice.

It occurs to me that Roger is truly a Muggle-born. He takes everything in the Wizarding World at face value and doesn't see the darkness under the sparkling veneer of magic. He trusts and believes in magic so he trusts the institutions set up around it. I also realize that The Prophet is meant for people like him. Muggle-borns and non-Purebloods have become the majority in our world. They don't have the ear for double talk and the eyes to see beyond appearances. It's easy to manipulate the masses, easy to take advantage of them. The Prophet is just another establishment, like the Ministry, meant to distract and sedate.