The City of Chaos
You are watching the Anarchy Splatcast, live with DEEP CUT
"Damage report!" Frye exclaimed, leaning back and pointing directly at the TV that Big Man was hugging.
"Ay…?" Big Man asked, translated to a very confused "Damage report…?"
"Damage report, Big Man!"
"Is this… part of our new intro or something?"
Shiver, who was just as confused as Big Man was, briefly glanced at the camera before she turned to Frye. "Frye, what are you doing?"
"Dammit, I'm trying to segway into our new Anarchy Splatcast segment…"
"...What new segment? We just went live."
"I just said it, damage report!"
Big Man looked at their teleprompter Jellyfish, who was frantically waving around some sheets of paper before he understood what Frye meant. He awkwardly chuckled. "Right… right! Damage report! Our new segment that we… totally discussed earlier." He cleared his throat before some images of property damage throughout Splatsville began scrolling on the screen. He read off the teleprompter that was just being updated in a panic thanks to Frye's actions. "In the last 24 hours, Splatsville has documented a whopping 282 accidental deaths, 1,254 injuries, 67 property fires, 7 fire hydrant bursts, 147 robberies, 13 public gang fights, 2 public orgies, and 1 collapsed building. Uh… wow."
"WOW!" Frye leaned back. "Big numbers!"
"Yes, some very impressive numbers this last day." Shiver admitted. "Another grand reminder of how careful we need to be around here."
"I miss order…" Big Man whimpered.
"But, remember, kids." Shiver faced the camera. "We know how exciting anarchy is, but we're still a community here. So, a message from Deep Cut. Please… stop trying to kill each other so much. Be kind to strangers, especially if they're struggling. Not that we can stop you… but I think it's worth saying."
"Yeah, and don't die." Frye then suddenly fist-pumped. "But let's get up to 150 robberies tomorrow! Woo! Destroy the oppressive!"
Shiver and Big Man were both silent as they stared at her, before Shiver slowly turned back to the camera. "…Remember to lock your doors."
"From Splatsville, that's a wrap." Shiver eventually wrapped up the broadcast, before the three idols all did their finger waves from the camera. "Catch ya later!"
Syd was watching the broadcast from her brand new Sea-Cucumber phone as she walked down the streets of Splatsville toward the Square, turning the device off and slipping it into her pocket. From what she had heard, Splatsville was known as the City of Chaos. And it was, indeed, the city of chaos. As she wandered down the street with Chase following her from behind, her eyes didn't have much time to look up and examine all the colorful buildings that surrounded her and the street around her, because there was already so many interesting things happening on ground level to look at. Inklings, Octolings, and other species decorated the place, hanging out with other people of their kinds. Well, at least some of them were hanging out with each other, casually enjoying life, while most of them seemed to be engaged in some kind of chaotic activity as Syd simply walked by. People were arguing, fighting, playing tug-of-war with an old, withered Spongebob blanket, dirtying up the place, or just straight up murdering each other.
Nearby, an Octoling that Syd passed was on the phone, shouting into it: "What do you mean you're 'at soup'!? What store are you in!? WELL, WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE!?"
As Syd watched and listened to these fascinating individuals, she was then interrupted as someone ran past her, also screaming. "I'M ON FIRE! HE LIT ME ON FUCKING FIRE!"
The fish person, who was indeed lit on fire, ran past and continued to scream in pain before he ran directly into a gang of big shrimp people, the person upfront conveniently holding a hose. Waiting for him, he immediately blasted him with high-pressure water to put it out.
He writhed around on the ground as he hosed him down, soon extinguishing him fully. He panted, still smoking. "Thank you… oh, thank you, kind sir…"
"You're welcome." The shrimp person replied before he suddenly leaned down with a knife and stabbed him. The second shrimp person behind him, seeing his opportunity to strike, suddenly pulled out his own knife and leaned over to stab him in the back. Meanwhile, the third shrimp person behind them was apparently so appalled by the violence that he then pulled out his own knife and stabbed himself, groaning as he collapsed.
Syd winced as she and Chase passed them, just making their way to the Square. The Square here had everything the newcomer to Splatsville needed, with a set of stairs that led up to the tall Lobby building, and an alleyway that housed the line of stores with things like weapons, clothes, and collectibles, among other locations. She looked around, wondering where she should head next. She figured Johnny probably wouldn't have been waiting for her by this point, given that she was far too reluctant to show up the previous day as pla-
"Hey, you made it." Her thoughts were interrupted as Johnny patted her shoulder from behind.
She jumped as she turned back to him. "…You really shouldn't grab a woman like that. Or… really, anyone with a fucking weapon in her hand."
"Come on, we've fought once before and we both know I kicked your ass."
"Debatable…" She scoffed. "Uh… you actually waited for me."
"I knew you'd show up sooner of later. I saw that look in your eye." He looked down at the Smallfry. "Hey again, Chase."
Chase excitedly bounced up and down in response.
Syd just looked around, taking the moment to actually look around at the buildings. "…So… this is the City of Chaos."
"And chaotic, it is." Johnny looked around as well. "Anywhere you look, there's pretty much something going on every moment of every day."
"Oh, I've noticed…"
He stepped in front of her. "You want the tour?"
"Mm… I might just stick to asking questions for now."
"Ask away."
She motioned toward a burn mark and some ashes that was on the street nearby. "What happened over there?"
"Suicide bomber. Some guy walked up to some strangers last week and just blew himself up. Killed 5 people."
"And no one was suspicious of him when he walked up…?"
"Oh, no one cared. He didn't even need to hide himself or anything. Even gave a dude a high five before he pressed the trigger."
"Hm…" She looked around some more, motioning toward an Inkling that was hanging from a pole by his underwear. "What happened to that guy?"
He looked over. "Dunno… but he's been there for a while. Poor kid."
The Inkling looked over. "…Help…"
Syd shrugged and charged up her stringer, aiming at him and firing a shot at him to cut his underwear.
He fell to the ground, groaning as he slowly got back up. "…Thank you…" He then ran away.
Johnny watched him before he turned back to her. "That was nice of you." He rubbed his hands together. "So, any more questions?"
"Not at the second, but I suspect I'll be having many more…" She replied, looking around a bit more.
"Right… you're gonna need a place to stay, right?"
"I thought you said I could stay at your apartment."
"I remember." He nodded. "I'll make space for you. But for now, uh… you wanna… get a drink?"
She thought about it. "…Yeah… yeah, I could use a drink."
"Cool. We can get one over in the Lobby." He nodded in that direction before he led Syd up the stairs.
The Lobby
The lobby was a nice, spacious room, complete with a large expanded training area with dummy balloons, a locker room to the side, an upstairs area with a bar and a small windowed room where a few DJ Jellies were partying up the place, blasting upbeat music through the speakers. A good amount of Inklings and Octolings were already inside, either hanging out or using the dummies to test their weapons.
Johnny led both Syd and Chase inside, the Smallfry immediately getting excited before he ran off to explore. Johnny turned to her. "Welcome to the lobby. Probably one of the better hang-out spots around here."
Syd looked around, actually impressed. "Gotta hand it to the City of Chaos. This is pretty cool." She then noticed that for whatever reason, there were holograms of some Inklings and Octolings that were hanging out at the benches nearby, seemingly being played back from earlier recordings. "Uh… what're those?"
"The holograms? I dunno why they're here… I think the guy who designed the lobby here thought they helped liven up the place a bit… but if you ask me, I think he's a bit off his rocker anyway, so best not to question it."
"Got it…" Her eyes widened. "Oh my god…"
"...What?"
"Is that…?" She covered her mouth. "Is that Judd? He's here?"
Johnny followed her eyeline, seeing that Judd was indeed just lazily lying there in the corner of the room like he always was. "…Have you… never seen Judd before?"
"No, he's a legend…" She slowly started walking over. "Can I touch him?"
"I mean... It's just Judd."
"Just one touch…" She reached over to pet the sleeping cat, but he suddenly stirred briefly, uttering a meow that could be translated to a swear word at her. She pulled back. "Ooh, I'm sorry, Judd. It's just that it's so very nice to meet you… Actually, when I was a kid, I actually had this Judd-shaped cup and it was the cutest thing I had… my parents didn't even give me a lot of stuff like that, but that Judd cup was just… man…" She kept rambling for a moment, which Judd in return didn't even listen to.
"...Anyway…" Johnny sighed afterward and looked around himself. "There's a few cool things to see here besides those holograms. Like, uh… oh, over here." He led her over to a little Inkling-shaped robot contraption with a miniaturized Splattershot that was stationed in another corner of the room. "This is the copy machine. Check this out." He turned it on, and it assumed a battle stance as it activated. "Pretty cool, huh? I love playing with this thing."
Syd looked at it, just confused. "…What does it do?"
"This." He pretended that he was holding a gun, making dramatic "Pew, pew, pew" sounds as he pretended to shoot at aliens or something. The copy machine, in turn, starting firing its Splattershot, sending its ink forward in a straight line.
Syd, however, was still waiting for the cool part. "…It only shoots in one direction?"
He stopped. "Well, yeah, but… it's cool, isn't it?"
She thought about it, coming up empty. "...Hm…"
"Ok, so maybe it's a work in progress, but it still has some cool features, ok?" He pretended to throw his 'gun', and the copy machine suddenly responded by chucking a Splat Bomb forward, and they both heard someone screaming in surprise before the bomb exploded, splashing somebody's ink all around the immediate area. They fell silent for a moment.
"...Yeah, so cool." Syd decided to say.
"It was that guy's fault for hanging out in that spot near the copy machine." He replied.
At that point, another Inkling who had heard the bomb approached Johnny from behind. "Hey, back off from my best friend, man."
They both looked at him before they backed off. "Oh, I'm sorry…"
As soon as they stepped away, the Inkling huddled next to the machine, hugging it. "It's ok, Copy… I won't let anyone else touch you again."
Syd and Johnny both stared at the two of them before they decided to get further away. "Ok, let's just get that drink already…" He sighed.
"Yes, please…" Syd followed him up the stairs to the bar.
As they walked, a pre-recorded message from the Lobby's owner, the crab Glen Fiddler, came up on the massive curved screen that hung over the room. "Hey, so I know a lot of you like to get excited with that copy machine, but remember not to cause too many accidents inside these walls. HR could take action. Ha! I'm just kidding. No laws can stop you now. But seriously. While you're here, why don't you hang around and admire my magnificent hologram technology? If you're lucky, your own recording may just be converted into one, and you will be immortalized right here in these walls, forever! That's right, the future is here, and I welcome all of you into it! Because believe me, this is just the first of many dreams to come true!"
Syd and Johnny weren't really listening as the message played over them. As they approached the bar, it became apparent that Chase had beaten them to it and was happily exploring the bar area, much to the annoyance of the poor bartender Jelly.
The bartender looked at them. "Can either of you please get this incessant pet out of my work area?"
"Sorry, sir." Syd said. "Chase, get down, now."
Chase obediently leapt down to the floor, where he immediately spotted the next thing that excited him and ran off to explore that as well.
The two of them sat down to order their drinks, and Johnny sighed as he sipped his. "So, how's your first day in Splatsville so far?"
Syd sipped hers as well. "What a day…"
"Good or bad?"
"I'm undecided."
"Well, I hope it's at least felt adventurous enough to convince you to stick around."
"Well, the lobby's cool, if not a bit pretentious." She looked around. "Looks like a great place to practice my Stringer in."
"Yeah, it's pretty great. I come here a fair amount. And maaaybe you and I can hit up some battles some time. I could use a consistent teammate in Anarchy matches."
"Mm. I'm here. Might just take you up on that offer." She couldn't help but smile a bit.
"Great." He smiled back, and they kept drinking before another girl came over and sat next to them.
This Inkling girl had purple hair similarly to Johnny's, except hers was much messier as if she was in a constant state of having just gotten out of bed, and she had glasses on over her purple eyes and pink-hued skin. She stretched a bit, stretching her arm over Johnny's drink before she straightened herself up a bit and ordered her own. "Morning, honeybun."
"Uh… morning…" Johnny replied.
"Um…" Syd was a little bit annoyed. "…Who's this?"
"Oh, right. I guess now is where you meet Sally. She's my-"
"Amazing girlfriend." Sally interrupted, straightening her glasses a bit. "Hence why I call him honeybun? Do my words reach your brain?"
"G-Girlfriend." She awkwardly nodded a bit before immediately turning back to her drink. "I see…"
Johnny awkwardly chuckled a bit. "No, she's not my girlfriend… she just likes to tell other girls that, I don't know why."
"Hm…" She replied, spinning her finger around her glasses' rim. "That's cool."
"Yeah, I wish John-o was better in bed, anyway." Sally downed her drink.
"...Wait, you still-?"
"It was… it was one time…" Johnny replied.
"...Ok." She sighed, pretty annoyed. "So, is Sall-o gonna be hanging out here long?"
"Oh, uh, here's the thing I wanted to tell you a bit later, but she's… she's my roommate. She does live with me."
"...Oh."
"Yeah… I wanted to wait a bit before having you meet, but-"
"Wait, don't tell me you're letting her stay with us." Sally interrupted.
"Why not? She's new to the city and we've been really hitting it off."
"Dude, come on, our apartment is small enough, I don't need Stringer freak here taking up more space with that thing."
Syd sighed. "…Ok, so the apartment's small, she's annoying, and I have to assume you two fucked in it…"
"A-Again, one time, and I'm not proud of it." Johnny replied. "So let's slow down and talk about this. Let's make sure you meet on good terms like I wanted."
"...Fine…" Sally extended her hand. "I'm Sally."
"I know." She nonchalantly shook her hand.
"I work at Grizzco and in the druggies. Gets me by, but, don't ever ask me for money. I'll cut your throat."
She looked at Johnny. "Great, she's a junkie, too?"
"What? No. I don't take that shit." She defended herself.
"But you just said-"
"I give crack to losers and I shuffle stuff around, no muck, no fuss. It's called being a drug dealer, in case you've never heard of one before."
"You wanna lose your beak?"
"You wanna lose your kidney?"
"Junkie."
"Rag."
"Girls, girls, let's not." Johnny held his hands between the both of them.
Sally turned to Johnny. "But really, is she gonna be staying with us?"
"We're figuring that out."
She shrugged before she took her drink and patted his shoulder. "Well, she's your problem. Have fun." She walked away.
Syd watched her leave before she took another sip. "So you really hit that, huh?"
"Yeah, yeah, get all your jokes out now…" He rubbed his forehead. "You know, I'm aware she's a bit much, but I'm sure in the longterm, you guys will get along just fine."
"I dunno, first impressions are important… and so far, they've been mixed…"
He sighed. "…Alright, if this has all been a bit much for you, then… I understand… we can pretend this didn't happen."
She looked around a bit. Regardless of her own mood, she could that Chase was very much enjoying his time, gleefully running around and exploring the lobby. Part of her did kind of just want to leave back to her tent in the junkyard, but… oh, what the hell? She turned back to him. "…You don't also work at Grizzco and in the druggies, do you?"
"No, no, I get my money from my high rank in Anarchy. I mostly just ignore Sally's hijinks."
"That's relieving…" She looked around a bit. "For now, I may just keep seeing what this place has in store for me."
He looked at her and nodded a bit, sipping his drink. "I like that answer."
She gave him a look. "...You, uh… wanna get out of here?"
He blushed a bit upon seeing that look. "Out of here…? Do you mean…"
"Anarchy Battles. That's what you mentioned before, right?"
"Oh, right, right." He quickly finished his drink and stood up. "Yeah. Let's get right to that."
She did as well. "Just don't feel bad when you lose."
"We're gonna be on the same team…"
"Oh, right." She walked with him to sign-up.
It was a fun few hours for the two of them as she splatted her way through the ranks alongside Johnny, trying to control splat zones and take control of towers along the way, and they had won most of their matches together by the time they decided to call it a day. There was something about it that felt flawless, natural, the way she teamed up with her new friend to absolutely embarrass their competition. It was almost like breathing, fighting alongside him. And just like that, today was easily the most fun day Syd had experienced in a long time.
By the time she and Chase were let into Johnny's apartment, she had forgotten all about her concerns about moving into Splatsville. And the apartment itself wasn't even… too bad. It was pretty small, and there were only two twin-sized beds, but it looked much more homely than her usual tent, and even had a TV. Chase immediately rushed inside and got to exploring the place, while Syd set her things down.
"Home sweet home, right?" Johnny set his own things down and leaned against the counter.
"Yeah, it's not bad."
"I know you're only saying that because it's better than a tent, but I'll take the compliment. Uh… yeah, I'm aware of the bed situation-"
"I'll take the couch. No biggie." She leaned on the counter next to him. "Thanks, Johnny. I really don't know how to thank you for all this."
He chuckled. "No need to thank me, just keep being an actual good teammate in Anarchy and I'll be satisfied."
She chuckled as well, a feeling of warmth falling over her. She couldn't help but smile at her new friend, and her new friend was smiling right back, with a certain electricity in the air between them. But, of course, the good vibes had to be ruined as the door was slammed open again, and Sally walked in, chugging a beer.
"New roomie's here? Cool." She lazily made her way past them. "Hey, listen up, newbie, because I only wanna say this once." She waved her hand over the half of the apartment that had her bed. "This entire half of the place is mine, so no putting any of your own shit here. Act like you live with Johnny, not me. Try not to talk to me unless I'm the one who starts a conversation, try not to make noise, always keep the TV below 10 volume, don't bring in any smelly foods, and don't ever talk about being hungry. I'm serious. It annoys me. Otherwise, welcome." She crashed on her bed and put headphones on.
Syd stared at her before she turned back to Johnny.
Johnny just shrugged in response. "I told you she's a bit much… and I can't promise you that you'll get along."
She shrugged. "…I'll stay out of her shit if she stays out of mine."
"If you don't want to spend a lot of time in here, we'll just go out a lot."
"...Hm…" She looked out the window. "…Well, then, what's our next adventure?"
Now that Syd was mostly settled, and seemed to be staying for at least the time being, she decided to make herself at home. Returning to the Lobby with Chase, she bought out and went to set up her very own locker, staring inside as she wondered what to decorate it with. What kind of personal touch could she give it? As the minutes passed, she stashed her things inside, including her trusty Stringer, the old torn shirt and boots she used to wear out in the desert, some books, and some decorative stickers, with Agent 3-themed stickers among them. Then, of course, she rounded out the decorations with some newer pictures of herself, Chase, and her new friend Johnny, placed neatly on the locker door where she could easily see them. Perfect. Again, she couldn't help but smile. Satisfied with herself, she looked it all over for another moment before she shut the locker and moved along, with the bouncing Smallfry following just behind her.