Author's notes at the end.

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences.

Those Beautiful Green Eyes

Chapter Eleven

"Beautiful night, isn't it?"

Karin is staring at the stars, a sadness in her emerald eyes.

"Aa," I utter in agreement as I lie down on the grass. "It's the perfect night for romance," an offhandedly thrown comment. I don't really mean anything by it.

It's after dinner and we're out in the garden stargazing. Yaone had ushered me and Karin out of the kitchen and insisted on doing all the cleaning up alone. Jien had gone out to buy some supplies and asked us to wait for him before we began our reading session. It had become a ritual. Karin would pick out a book and read it to Jien and me for an hour or two every night.

We are silent for a moment.

"I wonder how it would feel like to be kissed. I have never been kissed before," Karin muses out loud.

As curious as I am, I don't give any sign that I heard her. What brought this on? Was that a proposition? No. She isn't longing. That's not the sound I can hear from her voice. It's more like...

...Fear? I don't feel anything that she should be afraid of. And in any case, a god should be a good enough defense against almost any threat.

"I just thought about it," she continues. "If I were to die tomorrow, I would never feel how it feels like to be kissed."

I drift off as the memory of a long forgotten kiss comes to mind.

"Gojyo," you call out my name and it sounds like the most beautiful music to my ears.

It has been quite a while since we began this trip and over the months of traveling with you, the idiotic monkey, and the surly monk have made me realize just how wonderful a person you are. I very much appreciated you as a best friend in the beginning, but now...

...I appreciate you in more ways.

"Yeah?" I shift the grocery bags you asked me to carry as I turn to face you.

You are smiling like a child who had just found free candy. Knowing you, however, I doubt that free candy is all you found. You point to the store behind you. It's a rare books store.

Heh. Figures.

"Would you mind if you went on ahead?" you ask. "I just want to take a look inside for a moment, if it's okay."

I look at you questioningly. "Why would you want me to go ahead? Is there any hidden porn in there that you don't want me to see?"

You laugh lightly. Forget what I said before. Your laugh is the most beautiful music to my ears. "No," you keep smiling. It's nice when your smile is real. "I just thought that you'd rather go ahead."

I shrug. "I'll go with you." Come on, Hakkai, I treasure every moment that the two of us are away from the monkey and the monk, can't you see that? Aren't you wondering why I've been helping you with the shopping more often and with fewer gripes, lately?

Hmm... The monkey and the monk. Well, they do go together perfectly, don't they? Do 'Hakkai' and 'Gojyo' go together as well? 'Kai and the kappa...

Damn. That stupid monkey's nickname is stuck in my head.

"It's just that books aren't your thing. You told me once that you hate reading long books, especially those without pictures and those are the things inside," you reason out, making sure that I know what I'm getting into.

I walk ahead of you into the rare books store. "I'm not unlearned, you know. I can appreciate a good book."

You chuckle again, fondly, this time. "Thank you, Gojyo."

As you go to the clerk to ask for a book you've been wanting to read, I aimlessly scan the shelves for anything that piques my fancy. And then I chance upon an interesting book. I glance at the title. The Kama Sutra.

Sutra, huh? Maybe this would tell me something interesting about that piece of paper everyone's been bitching about. I put down the bags that I'm carrying and open the book to no particular page.

"When a woman clasps her lover as closely as a serpent twines around a tree, and pulls his head towards her waiting lips..."

Holy—!

There is hidden porn in this dump!

"When a man and a woman, lying on a bed, embrace each other so closely that their arms and thighs are entwined in a gentle friction, it is called the Union of the Sesame Seed with the Grain of Rice," you read over my shoulder. Your voice caresses the words so enticingly as your breath tickles my neck. You then take a step back and chuckle. "Why, Gojyo, I didn't think you'd need education in that department," you tease. There is already a new package amongst our groceries. You already have your book of choice.

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. "It's about a sutra," I reply trying to sound nonchalant. My voice sounds weak and dull to my ears.

How the hell do you do it, Hakkai? How can you be so good at staying calm and collected?

"Of course it is!" you respond brightly. Somehow, it doesn't sound like you believe me.

I show you the title. "See?" I sound so defensive, don't I? "It says so in the cover: Sutra!"

"So it does," you nod, smiling. "Do you want it, Gojyo? I could charge it to the book allowance Sanzo so kindly gave me."

I am about to shrug when a naughty thought comes to mind. "I would want it if you promise to read it to me."

You remain unfazed as you put your load down and pluck the book from my hands. I remember how you used to bug me about reading more books, and it looks like you'd do anything to get me to do just that. I watch, grinning quietly, as your brows knit while you scan through the pages. Then you stop at a certain page. "Alright," you take a deep breath.

You really are going to read to me, aren't you?

"When a woman gazes longingly at her lover while he is asleep and kisses him to show her love and desire, this is known as the Kiss which Arouses," you read out loud in that modulated voice of yours. Your voice is not too loud and not soft and doesn't grate my nerves. I find myself staring at your lips as they move with the words.

You're so preoccupied with the book that you don't notice me looking on so intently. My heart is beating so quickly and painfully that it's driving me insane.

"When a woman kisses her lover while he is working or scolding her, or when he is preoccupied, so as to distract him and divert his attention to her, it is known as the—" I cut you off by leaning over and brushing my lips against yours. I pull away quickly, not giving you time to respond.

Shit. My heart must have driven me insane.

You're flushed. "Ah, Gojyo..." you begin.

At a loss for words, Hakkai?

"That kiss is called the Kiss that Distracts," you smile, but there is something hidden behind your smile. There is pain behind that smile and it is almost tangible. I know how carefully you choose your words, but they still come out in a way that hurts me, "Though I hardly see you as a woman."

Of course I'm not. You're not bisexual, Hakkai. You love Kanan and she will never be replaced by a man like me. I try not to show the hurt as I laugh it off and tell you that we'll just buy the book on our way back.

That was our first kiss and will probably be our last.

"Kenren-san? Are you awake?"

I open my eyes and drown in green. Karin is peering at me so closely that her sparkling emerald eyes are mere inches from my own blue ones. I feel the same unusual rhythm in my chest as I had long ago while watching Hakkai read.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes, Karin?" I murmur.

We're so close that she can't move away. It's as if the closeness pulls us together to be even closer. She responds distractedly. "You did. Several times before in the past few weeks."

"Well, I meant it every time," I raise my head slightly so my lips are almost touching Karin's.

With our lips still separate, she takes the chance to answer. "I know."

Her lips meet mine.

Though the kiss is shy and brief, strong emotions wash over me. Immediately, I am ashamed for taking advantage of a young girl's innocence. I gently push her back and she stares at me, her own guilt painted on her pretty features. "I'm sorry, Kenren-san, I shouldn't have..."

I wave my hand. "No, I'm sorry. You're just a young girl."

Karin tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear and appears thoughtful.

Just then, Jien's head pops out of the window. "Oi, you two, I'm back! Ready for our session?"

"Sure!" Karin waves her hand in acknowledgment. She then quickly hides behind her sweet smile as she waits for Jien to go back inside. She stands up and cleans her dress of dust.

I get up after her, "Oi."

Somber verdant eyes, though no less in beauty, meet mine though the smile remains intact, "It never happened, right?"

I am taken aback. Then find my bearings. "Yeah."

We then head back to the house.

As we reach the door, Karin pauses before she turns the knob. "Kenren-san?"

"Yeah?"

She smiles a sincere smile, albeit filled with so much pain. "Thank you. If I die tomorrow, I would know how it feels like to have been kissed."

"It was my pleasure, as long as it was yours," I answer smoothly. But I am sincere, as well.

We enter the house as I lose myself in thought.

Any kiss is good as long as it's with a beautiful person. Karin is beautiful, and the kiss was good, and if she was happy about it, on some level, so am I.

But it drew out all the wrong feelings. Regret, guilt, shame, and all those other emotions I feel whenever I charm my way to some random girl's bed swept through me. Like there is no noble intention. No love.

We enter the library where Jien is waiting.

"Oh my wild one, your bravery will be your own undoing," Karin spoke with little expression as she read from the large black volume. Usually, she was alive with emotions she felt were being expressed by the authors, but tonight...

Jien notices the difference, as well, and he is looking at Karin with concern. But he keeps quiet. I don't say anything either. I'm not sure what's bothering her: the kiss or that other nameless cause that had made her ask strange questions earlier tonight.

Oblivious to our worry, Karin keeps on reading. "No pity for our child, poor little one? Or me, in my sad lot—soon to be deprived of you!"

I see tears forming in her eyes and she blinks them away.

"Soon... soon..." Karin whispers then sighs deeply, forcing down sobs I know are trying to escape. She stares up at the ceiling. "Jien-san, that creature is coming, isn't it?"

Jien doesn't answer her. I feel utterly clueless, though a bit relieved that her grief was not caused by our kiss. Heaven knows I feel guilty enough about that already. I turn to my older brother, "Oi, Jien?" I know I don't have to complete my question.

"Aa," he replies. He is sitting on the floor at the far end of the library. "That creature is a legend among the villagers. It doesn't come often, about once every ten years. No one knows for sure if it's the same creature every time and I have never seen it to give you anything useful." He glances at Karin and the green-eyed girl nods. "But that creature killed Karin's mother."

"It was a youkai," Karin added softly. "A youkai killed my mother when I was just a baby. Everyone in the village says so. The last time it came, about ten years ago, many villagers were killed and severely injured. It would probably have been worse had Father not driven it out of the village."

Father? Maybe ten years ago, that ghost of a man was a hero. That would explain why villagers left his youkai sanctuary alone, despite their apparent hatred for the race. It is a twisted justice isn't it? A hanyou protecting humans from a youkai while protecting youkai from the humans.

"What makes you think it's back?" I ask.

"The day before the youkai came to the village was the only other day aside from today that I saw Father sick," Karin replies.

I light a cigarette and consider the matter. Maybe Father wasn't sick. Maybe he was preserving his strength.

Author's Notes:

Karin was reading from the Iliad by Homer, the stuff Hakkai was reading are actual excerpts from a translation from the Kama Sutra. I'm ripping off so many writers.

Thanks to everyone who taught me about ... er... the math of Saiyuki.

narrizan-san, I took the test and scored a 7/170. But then, I would have to admit that Karin is not as well-developed a character as I want her to be. I often have the very bad tendency to assume that my readers can read my mind. But thank you, I appreciate it that you pointed this out. :-)

Devera, I am so happy you are enjoying yourself. It's always a pleasure to find out that people are enjoying what they're reading.

Attiqah Gensui, I'm flattered that you find this fic beautiful. Thank you very much. I actually was inspired by this fic called "A Taisho and a Gentleman". I forgot the name of the author, though. It's in and shouldn't be difficult to find.

Rnij and Mysterious A, thank you for the kind words and I will do my best to live up to them. Yes, I will keep writing as long as time and my strength permits.

Marron-chan1, thank you for sticking with my story. I will do my best to update regularly, and will try not to rush the chapters like I've been doing lately. Yes, this means I will start proofreading my works.

ShadowKat-Shidobukatsu, I certainly hope the ending won't be anticlimactic for you.

FairyMage, Yes, in the words of Alanis "Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you". Thank you, it's nice to know I have influenced you to give something new a shot, the 58 pairing in particular. Whoo! I have used my new knowledge today!

Thank you for reading up to this point. Yeah, I know, I cut off this chapter at an inopportune part and I really should post the next part soon because this is just so... incomplete. The end chapter is drawing near and I sincerely pray that I do not disappoint.

- Paris