Once upon a time in a country estate called Taplows there lived a young made by the name of Susan. Now the lass in question wasn't the fairest of the fair, nor was she the smartest cookie in the jar, in fact out of all of the maids she was probably the silliest of them all but she did have one quality that the other's did not; a genuinely happy disposition so everyone liked her, oh and a fondness for ugly men, but nobody mentions that!
So one year on her birthday the fellow lads and lasses at Taplows decided to get together and throw her surprise birthday party, and all the footmen and maids where invited, all that is except the spiteful little housemaid Esther! You see Esther had had a falling out with one of Susan's closest friends, the lovely Grace, who was organising the party and she refused to allow Esther to come. So while the other's joked and danced and generally enjoyed themselves the Evil Esther plotted away.
Slipping into Mrs Ryan's office she quickly spied her intended target, and slipped away with it cleverly concealed under apron to the kitchen where the lovely looking birthday cake sat invitingly. Smiling evilly Esther quickly ground up the sleeping tablets she had stolen and sprinkled the now sugary looking powder all over the top of the cake.
Hiding in the shadow she watched as William Forest and Charlotte Lucas slipped into the kitchen and carried the small but lovely looking cake out into the hall. Then following them silently she watched as Susan blew out the candles and at everyone's insistence took a large slice of the cake all for herself whilst the other's had to content themselves with barely a mouthful. Cursing that has cunning plan had back fired Esther stomped off to her room to sulk, but not before deliberately stopping at the still room to take the lids off all Grace's preserves so the rot would get in; so then feeling particularly smug she slipped off to bed.
And so a secret her little misfired curse would have remained had it not been for the events of the following morning.
Rising later than usual the maids groggily began to dress and start their day; all except for one maid that was, blissfully unaware of the commotion around her, Susan slept on.
"'Ere do you think we should wake her?" One of the lesser maids, who never seemed to be named, muttered before quickly being forced out of view by an anxious Grace and Charlotte.
"Susie…Susie wakey up now!" Charlotte cooed.
"She's out cold!" Grace gasped, her eye's narrowing as she caught sight of a guilty looking Esther who was hurrying out the room. "Esther!"
"Ou meee?" The other maid countered innocently, once more trying to summon those crocodile tears of hers that had worked so well on the housekeeper.
"Yes you, you little viper!"
"Ohhhh such big words from such a ittle bitty girl!" Esther spat. "I didn't have anything to do with it…After all I wasn't even with you lot all evening so how could I be?"
"What did you DO!" A sudden harsh voice hissed from behind causing the two maids to jump and Esther to cower, they hadn't heard the housekeeper approach over the rattling hiss and snort of Susan's snoring.
"Please Mrs Ryan, it wasn't me, I wasn't even there!" Esther exclaimed whilst unconsciously patting down her apron pocket ensuring that the empty packet of pills would remain hidden, but the Housekeeper caught her action and lent forward grasping the empty box before Esther could secret it.
"You little Liar!" Flora hissed. "That is it, collect your things and leave, your banished from my sight and from Taplows don't you ever darken our doors again and Miss you'll get no character!"
However even after the Evil Esther had been booted from the door, literally, as a certain very relieved footman, who was getting sick of finding soppy love notes and even soppier lover's knots hidden down his stockings and stuffed in his wig, did the honours personally.
But all the while Susan slept, and snored on. Despairingly the girls tried everything, spoon feeding her coffee, blowing old Lady Mary's ear trumpet in her ear, dumping the contents of several glasses of water over her oblivious head but still nothing woke her.
Finally exasperated the butler, a rather handsome chap himself, sent into town for the dashing Dr Evans, but unfortunately for Susan he was engaged in a rather delicate operation removing an ingrown toenail and so he sent his lanky and somewhat pocked faced assistant Gregory.
Now Gregory was just as perplexed by the affair as everyone else but he did think to try something that the other's had not. Entranced by the finding of a young lady who could rival him in the nasal capacity and one who just possibly wouldn't find the prospect of sleeping next to him too distracting as he snored his way through Beethoven's 5th symphony, representing the entire percussion section all by himself; the young Gregory lent down and placed an enthusiastic if not somewhat slobbery smacker on the sleeping damsels lips.
Stunned by the sheer amount of saliva, Susan snapped awake, her body's natural reaction to avoid drowning, and pushed the young lad off of her.
"Oh by jove it worked!" Gregory exclaimed ecstatic at curing his first patient. "I can't wait till I tell the Dr."
Groggily Susan looked properly at the young man for the first time, he was hardly an oil painting but at the mention of the magic word, Doctor, he was suddenly transformed into the very archetype of Prince Charming by her addled and drugged brain. "You're a Doctor?"
"Well almost, I'm in training….'ere do you think maybe…Oh never mind." The shy Gregory muttered under her intense gaze.
"I'd love to!" Susan retorted smiling back. "I'm free next Tuesday!"
And they lived Happily ever After!