Quick note: I own none of the songs; they belong to their respective artists.
In the aftermath of her akumatization, Jasmine decided to take her parents' and the principal's advice and took the rest of the week off from school. She tried to tell them that she was all right and probably needed only one day off to rest and get herself straightened out, but Roger, Nancy, and Mr. Damocles insisted that she come back to school on Monday. Jasmine agreed at last, but only on the conditions that she be able to come in and get her homework assignments for each day, be allowed to hand them into the teachers when they were completed, study in the school library during class hours, and get help for anything she had trouble with. She also agreed to talk to the school counselors during that time, just in case she needed someone to talk to when her friends weren't around. She also insisted that she be able to come to school and participate when she, Marc, Nathaniel, and Aurore gave their oral presentation in Ms. Mendeleiev's class that Thursday.
"Of course, Jazz," Nancy agreed. "I know you've been working on that, and you don't want to let your group down."
"Just give one of us a call on that day if you need to come home for any reason," Roger added. "And not just for Thursday; for any of the days if you need it."
***LBCNLBCNLBCN***
That evening, just as Ladybug and Chat Noir had promised, they came to the Dinsmoores' house to talk to her and Roger about the pending lawsuits, and what that would mean for Alya, since it seemed that she had learned her lesson and was planning to delete Lila's interviews from the Ladyblog. After a short conversation, Roger suggested that Alya could settle the matter out of court. However, Alya would still have to perform a few hours of community service, pay a fine, and delete the entire Ladyblog.
"That sounds fair," Jasmine agreed. "I know Alya probably did all those interviews with Lila by her own free will. I mean, Lila didn't hold a gun to her head and threaten her to interview her, right? And Alya did say that she was going to delete the Ladyblog anyway, from what I heard."
"I'm sure she'll agree to that," Ladybug agreed. "We spoke to her about that before we came here, and she told us that she accepted responsibility for her actions. She also said she was going to post an apology video as her last one on the Ladyblog before she took it down. But she did tell me that she wants to start a new blog, which she's calling Miraculous LadyChat, and Chat Noir and I will be endorsing it."
"But she also told us that she'll have to wait a while to start posting on that one, since she's going to be grounded for a month for all the Lila business and all the stuff she made our friend Marinette do for her," Chat Noir agreed. "And she did explain to us that her mom allowed her to post that final video on the Ladyblog before her grounding begins."
Ladybug nodded, recalling how Alya had told her, as Marinette, that any money she made from her community service jobs would go to her as reimbursement for all the babysitting jobs she skipped out on, as well as for all the treats and things she made her make for the class. "But she says there's going to be a special section of the blog as well, and it's going to be focused on you," she continued.
"Me?" Jasmine repeated, drawing back, and reaching for something in her pocket to squeeze, then remembering that all her keychains were up in her room. She looked around, finding Socks, who was sniffing at the superheroes, and picked her up and hugged her instead.
"That's right," Chat Noir nodded, recalling how Nathalie had loved the lemon coconut bars he, as Adrien, had made for her birthday. And it got even better for him; Gabriel had tried one as well, had been surprised to learn that it was Adrien who had made them, and had even praised him. "She wants to do a bi-weekly cooking or baking segment with you, if you're up to it."
"But with the way she's reacting, I don't know if that's a good idea," Ladybug murmured, seeing Jasmine turn so pale that she could be mistaken for a female Chat Blanc.
"You don't have to do that if you don't want to, Jazz," Nancy assured her as she helped her sit down.
"Focus on us, Jazz," Roger murmured when he heard her begin to hyperventilate. "Listen to me…Sundown…Beautiful…Carefree Highway…Cherokee Bend…Ghosts of Cape Horn…The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald…Red Velvet…"
"Triangle," Jasmine whispered as she hugged Socks, "Much to My Surprise…I Used to Be a Country Singer…Hangdog Hotel Room…The Pony Man…Alberta Bound…"
"Jazz recites her favorite artist's songs to herself when she's scared or gets bored and needs something to focus on," Nancy explained, seeing Ladybug and Chat Noir's confused looks as Roger and Jasmine named Gordon Lightfoot's songs. "Some people use the famous 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method to help with panic attacks; Jazz sometimes uses that as well, but most of the time, she uses Gordon Lightfoot's music to calm herself."
"Sorry, everyone," Jasmine murmured a few minutes later when she was feeling calmer.
"Don't worry, Jazz, but like we said, you don't have to do that if you don't want to," Nancy assured her as she got her a bottle of water and Roger hugged her, "However, and just hear me out, I remember how you baked with some of your friends last year, and later you learned that one of them had recorded you, and they uploaded the video to their YouTube channel. That recipe got so many likes that even you couldn't believe it!"
"Well, who doesn't like chocolate cake or Harry Potter?" Jasmine tried to joke, remembering the recipe from her Harry Potter cookbook that she'd made for one of her friends' mother's birthdays. She also remembered that the day after the video had been posted, she had been bombarded with compliments, and her friends and their family members had begged her to do more cooking shows and demonstrations.
"That's right," Chat Noir grinned. "After all, chocolate is a major food group!"
"We'll talk to Alya about this too," Ladybug promised. "And tell her that maybe it could be once a month that you do something like that with her."
"I'll think about it," Jasmine said at last, "Just keep the music on, make sure I have one of my keychains with me, and I think I'll be okay. After all, I was listening to The Pony Man before I was akumatized...And I was so bored listening to Lila threatening me that I started listing songs in my head."
"Lila threatened you?!" Nancy repeated angrily.
"I've got Jazz's recording of their conversation," Roger started, holding up his phone. "I'm going to play it for you right now, Nancy, and again for the rest of the class when Jazz goes in on Thursday for her presentation."
As expected, when she heard the recording, Nancy was furious. "Nobody threatens my daughter and gets away with it! I'm going to give Lila's mother a call right now and tell her what that little harpy of hers has been doing…wait; no, calling her that would be an insult to the actual harpies!"
"Mom, before you go after her like the Furies go after their victims, you might want to call the Embassy directly and ask if there's anybody by the name of Rossi who works there," Jasmine suggested. "Knowing Lila, she's probably faked her mother's contact info, or lied about her even working there. Or her mom might be just a secretary and not have some high-end position."
"No, her mother actually is the Italian Ambassador to France," Roger explained. "Gabriel told me about that when I originally received your message. I also looked up the information online, and her mother, Signora Isabella Rossi, really works there."
"Mark it down, Lie-la told the truth about something again," Jasmine smirked.
"How often does that happen?" Chat Noir smirked.
"Twice, apparently," Ladybug smirked.
"Well, no matter what, I think there's going to be a special guest at your presentation on Thursday," Roger smirked as he went over to his laptop, brought up a blank document, and began composing a letter.
"Well, on that note, we'll leave you to your work, sir," Ladybug agreed as she and Chat Noir stood up to go.
"At least take something for the road," Jasmine offered, going over to the pan of shortbread bars she'd taken out of the oven before they came and cutting out a few squares for them.
"Thanks, Jasmine!" Ladybug smiled.
"What a purr-fect ending to our meeting with you!" Chat Noir agreed.
***LBCNLBCNLBCN***
A short time later, when he returned to the mansion and landed in his room, Chat Noir half expected Plagg to be laughing his head off about how he had reacted one of the songs during the fight, and when he dropped his transformation, the kwami didn't disappoint.
"That was priceless!" Plagg cackled. "The way you covered your face like that-ha! And you made Ladybug think Little Miss Music Box hit you with her powers!"
"Actually, it's Little Miss iPod, but can you blame me? I really wasn't expecting her to use a song like that. But really, let's be glad I wasn't hit," Adrien smirked. "And Plagg, you can't honestly tell me that you didn't like that song either!"
"Of course I did!" Plagg grinned as he flew to his cheese cupboard and got a few wheels of Camembert out. "How often is it that there are songs about cats? I've heard ones about dogs, birds, and even one about a hippopotamus! And she really is right, if cats weren't meant to sing, that musical would have never been made!" He punctuated his sentence by taking a deep breath and singing in loud off-key voice, "Camembert! You're the cheese of my dreeeeams! Camembert! You make life better than it seeeeems!"
"Oh, sure, Plagg, let's get in contact with the writers for Cats and ask them to make a follow-up to the original musical with that song in it!" Adrien laughed as he went over to his piano. "But for now, what do you say, buddy? Want to join me?" he asked before he started playing, and starting to sing, Memory.
Plagg smirked as he pretended to think about that. "Oh, all right," he tried to sound like he was long suffering, but he really did like that musical.
***LBCNLBCNLBCN***
At the same time, in the kitchen of the bakery, Marinette was studying the remaining shortbread bar that was on the counter. Since she and Chat Noir had each been given two, she was able to share one with Tikki, and even though she liked it, she wondered how Jasmine had made them. Marinette had a few recipes for shortbread on the counter in front of her, but none of them seemed to match the recipe Jasmine had used. "Maybe I can ask Jazz for the recipe," she thought out loud as Tikki nodded in agreement. "I can always tell her that Ladybug stopped by and we shared this, but I forgot to ask her how it was made."
"What have you got there, Marinette?" Tom asked as he came in and heard the end of her musings. As Tikki hid and Marinette explained 'how Ladybug stopped by during her patrol and shared a snack with her after checking on Jasmine, and she forgot to ask for the recipe before she left', Tom suggested, "You don't have to ask Jasmine or Ladybug, since I might have a similar recipe," He picked up the bar and broke a piece from it, testing it. "This tastes similar to what my father used to make when I was younger. I think Jasmine used light brown sugar, just like he does, since his recipe calls for dark brown, and he prefers the taste of light brown sugar to dark. I also remember when I made this with the light brown sugar, I added some nuts. At first, he was all 'that's not how it's done,' but when he tasted my version, he liked it, and we agreed that both versions tasted good. And from what I tasted, she didn't use nuts either."
"Whether she uses nuts or not, I'll still ask her to come over and make some for us," Marinette agreed. "After all, I did ask if she'd like to come over and make something with me sometime."
"And she's most definitely welcome to come and help us when it's time for the holiday season," Tom grinned. "We can use all the baking help we can get during that time!"
***LBCNLBCNLBCN***
When Thursday came, when Jasmine walked into Miss Mendeleiv's class, she sat with Aurore, Marc, and Nathaniel. She was just about to start unloading her things when Rose came up to her.
"Jazz, I've been wanting to ask how you've been doing," she started. "Mylene, Ivan, and I tried to talk to you a few times, but you always left before we could reach you."
"I'm okay," Jasmine assured her, "I'm not trying to avoid you; I've mostly been in the library studying and doing the new day's homework after I get my previous day's homework handed in to the teachers, but I will be back full time on Monday. But I have to say that it is nice to sit with you guys at lunch before I hole myself up with the books and computers again."
Rose nodded, remembering how Jasmine had talked with Mylene and Ivan the day before and learned about their involvement with charity work and fundraising. Since Mylene already had it, Jasmine had also given Ivan the contact information for her friend Shauna, saying that along with doing people's hair, she also did part-time work with charities and fundraising, and that maybe they could compare notes on what they did, or find a way to work on something together. She also gave the information to Rose, who had in turn offered to let Shauna talk to Prince Ali and his brother about their own respective work with children and the environment and see if she could do something for them. (To say that Shauna was excited about the idea of working alongside two honest-to-gosh princes was the understatement of the millennium; Jasmine, Rose, Ivan, and Mylene had to take her off Rose's speaker phone since they could hear her enthusiastic screams when she heard the news!)
"When we get done with class, join us for lunch, Jazz," Marinette offered. "I also wanted to ask you about this one recipe of yours. Ladybug stopped by my balcony during her patrol a few days ago, and she shared a shortbread cookie bar you made for her with me. I've been trying to find the recipe for it, but I haven't had any luck. My papa said he had something similar, but when we made it with that recipe, it didn't taste the same. It was still good, but I'd like to know how you made yours."
"No problem, Marinette," Jasmine agreed as Rose tapped her shoulder again.
"Jazz, I know you say you get nervous when you have to speak in public, and you use your little keychains to help you feel better," she started as she gave her a small package. "I don't know if you have anything with you when you give your presentation with your group, but I thought you might like this."
Jasmine grinned as she opened the package and held up a plush Hello Kitty keychain, and she saw that it was different than the one she had in her bag; this one wore pink and yellow overalls instead of a polar bear onesie. "Thanks, Rose! Even though Nathaniel, Marc, and Aurore will be up there with me, I'll need all the help I can get!"
"And this is for later," Nathaniel added as he and Marc gave her a comic book that they had drawn and written. "This is an actual published work, and it's also on the school's website."
"Our publisher loved the story, and especially the powers of one of the villains!" Marc added.
Jasmine grinned as she showed the comic to the others. In it, a scarlet akuma attack was going on, and they saw among the various akumas, Earworm was working together with Frightningale, Guitar Villain, Reverser, and even Evillustrator. Lila had been captured by their group, who was torturing her with their respective powers, and Ladybug and Chat Noir, who had not been affected by any of the powers, were singing along with everyone as they fought. "That's so cool! Thanks, guys! And the duet between Earworm and Guitar Villain is great! After all, Cat Scratch Fever is Ted Nugent's only good song! But I don't even remember using that one…"
"That's the one you got me with," Ivan muttered, but he couldn't help but smile.
"Sorry about that, Ivan," Jasmine apologized.
"Like we said, it's not your fault," Mylene smiled. She looked around and whispered, "I may not be a fan of heavy metal or hard rock, but Ivan played that song for me a couple days ago, and I liked it!"
"Anyway, Lisette, our publisher, said she watched the battle on the Ladyblog, and she downloaded each of the songs you used, just like a lot of our friends did," Marc spoke up, bringing the attention back to him and Nathaniel. "She remembered a couple of them from when she was a kid, and said it was nice to hear them again."
"And speaking of Cat Scratch Fever," Alya added. "Even though I deleted the Ladyblog, I saved the interviews with Ladybug only, and a lot of the akuma battles-and yes, Chloe, I saved some of the ones where Queen Bee was called too! But the fight with Earworm was really fun to watch! And look at all the comments!"
Jasmine smirked as she read some of the comments. Her friends were reading them over her shoulders.
Among many of the comments were:
-I love this song! -
-This song brings back so many memories! -
-I love this akuma and only this one! -
-I never thought I'd have so much fun watching an akuma battle! I'm so glad I got to see this! -
-Chat Noir's reaction to the one song: Priceless!
-Chat Noir's reaction to the kitty song: Priceless, but well deserved! -
-Earworm is officially my favorite akuma! –
-I love the musical references! –
"Well, I never expected to be an Internet sensation like this…or ever," Jasmine admitted as she squeezed the little keychain before telling them about her friends recording her making a cake and posting it online.
"You made that? Of course you did; according to your friend, you're 'The Jazzy Gourmet'! And I have to tell you, that cake was awesome, and the swim team went wild over it!" Kim grinned, remembering how he and his mom had made that for the swim team to celebrate them winning an important meet a few months ago. "Please tell me you're going to give that recipe to Marinette!"
"I might, since I told her I'd give her some of my favorite recipes," Jasmine nodded.
"And I'll get each of them on my new blog's cooking segment!" Alya added, then she told the group what Ladybug had told Jasmine about her doing a baking or cooking segment on her new blog once her grounding was over. "But really, Jazz, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. I should have remembered that you have issues with public speaking."
"Ladybug and Chat Noir told me the same thing," Jasmine started, "but as long as you play music in the background, I think I'll be okay doing something like this maybe once a month."
"We can try it once and go from there," Alya agreed.
"Oh, are you going to use the recipes I made famous?" Lila's unwanted voice joined their conversation. "That's wonderful! I can come and help you as well! I know so much about—"
"First, nobody cares," Marc cut her off.
"Second, I don't think you even can make ice!" Nathaniel agreed.
"Third, why are you involving yourself in something that's not even your business?" Jasmine finished.
"I involve myself in everything my friends do," Lila simpered. "I love making their lives more interesting!" She glared at Jasmine as she spoke, but she kept her sickly-sweet smile pasted on her face. She also whispered, "Remember what I said, you and I are now at war."
"Yes, Lila, I remember; you said earlier that you make lots of people snore," Jasmine agreed.
"No, I said we are at war," Lila said a little louder, to the shock of everyone except Marinette.
"You said it, not me, you are a bore," Jasmine smirked over her friends' laughter.
"NO! WE! ARE! AT! WAR!" Lila screamed in her face, but she was cut off when Ms. Mendeleiv got between them.
"There will be no declarations of war here, Miss Rossi," Ms. Mendeleiev snapped. "And just for that, you'll be sitting right here, next to my desk, where I can keep an eye on you! Miss Dupain-Cheng, would you mind going to Mr. Damocles and telling him to come to my classroom at once?"
"I'll get right on it, Ms. Mendeleiev," Marinette giggled as Marc wrote the conversation down for a future comic and the teacher actually dragged a protesting Lila to her new seat. "Jazz, I'm so glad you might be working with Marc and Nathaniel on their comic! You've got some great jokes!"
"She'd probably give Chat Noir a run for his money," Nino smirked.
"She's not bad, but she's got some work to do before she's as good as Chat Noir when it comes to puns," Adrien shrugged.
"Maybe, but something she said before she was akumatized still made it in the story!" Marc agreed, pointing at one of the lines in the comic.
"I'll have to share that with my cousin Christine," Jasmine smirked. "She sometimes watches this one cartoon back home, and she used that 'oh my corn I'm dead' line once when she was scared. But wait; she never took French. How will she read it? She has the same app on her phone that I do that translates foreign language…"
"Don't worry," Nathaniel assured her, "Our publisher makes a copy of our comic in English for those who aren't fluent in French."
"Good thing I get both versions then," Jasmine agreed. "I use the French version to practice with, and I read the English one like I would any other book."
***LBCNLBCNLBCN***
All too soon, it was time for class to start. Jasmine found herself with her group at the front, and as they were beginning their presentation, they saw the door open, and everyone was surprised to see Roger, Nancy, and Nathalie with her usual tablet. "Mom, Dad, what are you doing here?" she asked innocently.
"You forgot something you needed for your presentation. Luckily, you sent it to me by mistake, and we were in the area anyway, so I can give it to you right now," Roger answered in the same innocent tone. He set up his phone and pushed the play button.
Suddenly, everyone heard, "This is Jasmine Dinsmoore recording a conversation between myself and Lila Rossi…"
"Sorry, wrong recording," Roger smirked.
"No, no, keep it going," Ms. Mendeleiev smirked back, even though she'd been sent a copy of this as well and played it for Mr. Damocles.
A few moments later, they heard Lila's disgusted screech when it got to the part where Jasmine licked her hand, and even Jasmine cringed, both from the memory, and having to listen to it a second time. She remembered having to get a second bottle of water after Roger played it for Ladybug and Chat Noir.
At the same time, several people ran over and hugged her. "Oh, you poor dear…" Marinette started.
"A distasteful move on your part, but it was effective in getting the liar off of you," Kagami added, giving her a respectful bow from her seat.
"Yeah, and I've got to tell you, Jazz, that took guts!" Kim agreed, patting her shoulder.
Chloe hadn't joined the group hug, since she was on her phone. She did look up a minute later as she said, "Dinsmoore, I just booked you an emergency tongue scraping at the hotel spa for right after school today! And don't worry, it's my treat! Consider this repayment for keeping my mirror safe!"
"All right, that's enough theatrics, and Miss Dinsmoore, your bravery is to be commended, but let's hear the rest of this," Ms. Mendeleiev broke in.
When it got to the part where Lila was threatening to frame Jasmine for stealing test answers and do everything she'd done to Marinette to her, Marinette was livid, but when she heard the part about Lila threating to go to Mr. Agreste and have Adrien pulled out of school, she had to be physically restrained.
"You think you can pull those stunts again?!" she yelled, struggling against Kim and Ivan. "Lila, when will you learn that nobody here believes a single word you say anymore? It's bad enough that you had me isolated for calling you out on your lies and did what you said on there to me, but when you threatened my friends, you didn't just cross the line, you shattered it into a million pieces!"
"She wasn't even supposed to record me!" Lila yelled. "That's illegal!"
"It's not if I was threatened and/or attacked," Jasmine countered, "Thank you, loopholes...and Ms. Mendeleiev, for managing to get pictures of the bruises you gave me."
"Technically, Jasmine is right," Sabrina giggled. "If there's evidence of threats or assault in the recording, it can be used in court!"
"That's right," Ms. Mendeleiev agreed, taking out her phone, linking it up to the class projector, and bringing up the images of the bruises Lila gave Jasmine.
Suddenly, everyone heard a furious yell of "Lila Isabella Adelaide Rossi!"
"And you guys hear that? It's in her name: Lila's initials spell out L-I-A-R!" Jasmine whispered. Over several groans, which included ones from Marinette and Adrien when they got the connection, along with several slapping sounds from students either facepalming or collapsing on their desks, Jasmine shrugged. "What can I say? Word games are my thing."
"I can't believe I didn't even figure that out!" Max groaned as he smacked his head on his desk. "But then again, there's a less than 20 percent chance of someone knowing Lila's full name unless it's a parent!"
***LBCNLBCNLBCN***
At that moment, a woman who looked like an older version of Lila, but without the sausage hair, stormed into the room. "You have a lot of explaining to do, young lady! What is this I hear about you lying about having disabilities, telling me the school was closed for months due to akumas, hobnobbing with celebrities, doing charity work…"
"Mamma!" Lila blurted out. "It's not what it looks like!"
"Then tell me why I received several links to a blog stating that you did all these things!" Isabella Rossi yelled. "Lila, do you have any idea of the amount of trouble you're in?"
"I thought Alya deleted the Ladyblog," Marinette whispered. "She said she took all of Lila's interviews down, but Mrs. Rossi knows what they're about."
"Mind if I fill that part in?" Jasmine asked. "The day before I was akumatized, I had Alya send me some links to some of her interviews, but then I forwarded them to my dad. And this was before she said she was going to delete it."
"Clever, girl, and you're right," Alya admitted. "When my grounding's over, I'm going to start doing proper research on my stories and repost the ones that don't include Lila. And at least some of the reviews I got from that apology video I posted said that I was young, and I knew what I had to do now to get better. I just feel bad that I fell for Lila's lies and did all that stuff."
"You took down my interviews?" Lila whined, hearing the private conversation, and incorporating herself into it again. "Alya, those stories were true!"
"I actually did the research on them, and guess what, they weren't," Alya snapped. "Now that I know what I did wrong, I can work on making my new blog better than before!"
"Marinette, why did you tell Jasmine to tell Alya to take down my stories?" Lila whined.
"Don't drag me down with you, Lila, I was telling Alya the truth from the beginning," Marinette snapped.
"When I get through with wannabe Disney Princess Jasmine, you're next, you nosy little-" Lila started before Jasmine stepped between them.
Seeing what Lila was going to do, Jasmine thought quickly, and since she didn't have time to grab her iPod, which was in its little bag in her bookbag and had been fixed thanks to Ladybug's Miracle Cure, Jasmine whipped her phone out, found the song she was looking for, and aimed it at Lila, muttering, "Earworm!"
At that moment, Lila, as well as the rest of the class, heard a song coming from her phone.
All God's creatures got a place in the choir
Some sing low and some sing higher,
Some sing out loud on a telephone wire,
Some just clap their hands, or paws, or anything they've got now
As Lila screamed at the song and covered her ears, Jasmine smirked. "Gosh darn temporary lingering side effects of being akumatized! And yes, I know my iPod was fixed thanks to Ladybug, but I didn't have time to hunt for it!"
"Saved by an akuma," Marinette giggled, "How often does that happen?"
"Who knows, dudette?" Nino smirked, "But for now, let's enjoy the show."
"I hate this song!" Chloe groaned.
"I love this song!" Adrien grinned as he emailed the song to himself and remembered how he and his mother used to dance around to it when he was younger…and drove Gabriel crazy with it so he'd be singing it all day after being exposed to it once.
"I actually agree with Miss Bourgeois about this," Gabriel muttered, but he focused his attention back to Nathalie. "Nathalie, you know what to do."
"Yes, sir," Nathalie agreed as she handed Mrs. Rossi another folder.
"What is this?" Mrs. Rossi demanded, looking from the folder in her hand, then turning her glare back to Lila.
"Oh, you were unaware that your daughter was a Gabriel model?" Nathalie asked. "She's being fired for sexual harassment and is being served a restraining order to stay away from Gabriel, the Agreste family, and anything involving the brand, including photoshoots, fashion shows, and contests. And it looks like forgery will be added to her already lengthy list of charges, since she apparently forged your signature on the paperwork she was given, as she is a minor and needs parental consent to work for Gabriel."
"And here's another one," Roger spoke up as he gave Lila's mother yet another folder. "This is a lawsuit against your daughter for assaulting and threatening my daughter, as well as a restraining order to stay away from her and all members of our family."
Lila glared at them all and ran at Jasmine. "You ruined everything!" she screamed. "You're just as bad as Marinette and Ladybug put together! You could have stayed out of my way and let me lie to everyone, but no! You had to ruin my life!"
Jasmine had finally had enough, but she still couldn't help but make a few jokes as she sidestepped her. "Lila, if I'm such a threat to you, why didn't you just do what Adrien told me about and play hooky for the rest of the year like you've done up until now?! You orange obsessed, sausage haired, Cazu Marzu-coated, pimple-farmin' paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from friend envy!"
"She played hooky for almost a year?" Mrs. Rossi glared at Lila, who glared right back.
At the same time, Ms. Mendeleiev smirked. "Really? A paramecium brain?"
Jasmine continued glaring at Lila, pointing straight at her. "Yes! And I'll tell you what a paramecium is! That's a paramecium! It's a one-celled critter with no brain that can't tell the truth to save her life! Don't mess with me, man! My dad's a lawyer!"
When he heard Jasmine paraphrasing one of his favorite childhood movies, Adrien grinned widely and started chanting, "Jasmine! Jasmine! Jasmine!"
"Jasmine! Jasmine! Jasmine!" Kim and Ivan took up the chant as they lifted her on their shoulders.
By now, the whole class, including Chloe and Kagami, was chanting, "Jasmine! Jasmine! Jasmine!"
Lila, seeing as how she was losing all of her followers, screamed back at her, "LILA! LILA!"
Jasmine smirked as Kim and Ivan set her down and she took the last few folders from her father. "May I?" she murmured. When Roger chuckled and nodded, Jasmine slammed the file on Lila's desk as she said, "Oh, Lila, why don't you just go suck on a dead dog's nose?"
"Loosely translated, you've been served, again!" Roger smirked.
"Yes, yes, well done, Miss Dinsmoore, you get an A in Dramatic Arts," Ms. Mendeleiev smirked. "But this is science class, not theater. And now it's time for you, Mr. Anciel, Mr. Kurtzburg, and Miss Boreal to come and give your report."
"And while they're doing that, Mrs. Rossi, I think you and Lila should come with me to my office for a long overdue conference," Mr. Damocles agreed.
"Let's go, Lila," Mrs. Rossi grabbed her hand. "And if you even think of dragging your feet or protesting, I'll have you shipped off to Nonna Ginevera in Lodi! Actually, that's a good idea! I think I'll send you there anyway!"
When she heard the location, Jasmine couldn't help it. She brought up another song, singing with Adrien, "Oh, Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again!"
"Nice one, you two," Roger smirked.
"Actually, that Lodi's in California," Nathalie smirked as she looked up from her tablet and learned the location and heard them singing one of her favorite songs. "The Lodi that Ambassador Rossi is talking about is in Northern Italy in a town called Lombardy."
When she heard the name of the town, and the relative her mother had mentioned, Lila paled. Nonna Ginevera, her 60-year-old maternal grandmother, was the headmistress of a very strict girls' school and didn't tolerate any sort of nonsense from anyone. When Lila came to visit, she always had to be on her best behavior, or her mother told her that she'd be enrolled there. And it seemed like she might be enrolled there now. However, she had no choice in the matter as she was forcibly escorted out of the room over the class's chorus of So Long, Farewell.
"All right, let's settle down, everyone," Ms. Mendeleiev said when it was quiet again. "I know some of you want to get your reports out of the way, so as I said earlier, let's start with Mr. Anciel, Mr. Kurtzburg, Miss Boreal, and Miss Dinsmoore."
"You think you'll be okay doing this?" Aurore asked as everyone sobered and Roger, Nancy, and Nathalie left.
"Like I said, as long as you guys are up here with me, I think I'll be okay," Jasmine said as she squeezed the keychain in her pocket.
"And I have some good news for you before you begin, Miss Dinsmoore," Ms. Mendeleiev said as everyone settled back down. "Since you did an admirable job handling Ms. Rossi, your group gets an additional 10 points on your report."
"Thank you, Ms. Mendeleiev," Jasmine smiled as Marc, Nathaniel, and Aurore echoed their thanks. She turned to them and asked, "Ready, guys?"
"Let's do this," Aurore grinned
"We'll be great!" Nathaniel added.
"Yeah!" Marc agreed.
The four of them shared a fistbump, then faced the front and began their group report.
Author's Notes
Thanks to Niagara14301 for helping with some details of the story. And the brown sugar shortbread recipe that Jazz shared with Ladybug and Chat Noir is in Chapter 14 of their story "Ever Realm Chronicles.
The Gordon Lightfoot songs that Jazz and Roger listed: Sundown, Beautiful, Carefree Highway, Cherokee Bend, Ghosts of Cape Horn, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, Red Velvet, Triangle, Much to My Surprise, I Used to Be a Country Singer, Hangdog Hotel Room, The Pony Man, and Alberta Bound are not mine.
According to Greek mythology, the Harpies are three half-bird and half-women creatures who tormented King Phineas of Thrace by stealing his food and making it uneatable. This continued until the sons of Boreas, god of the north wind, defeated them.
According to Greek mythology, the Furies are goddesses of vengeance born from the mutilated body of Kronos. Their task is to hear complaints brought by mortals against the insolence of the young to the aged, of children to parents, of hosts to guests, and of householders or city councils to suppliants—and to punish such crimes by hounding culprits relentlessly.
The songs Plagg heard about dogs that he mentioned to Adrien include Hound Dog by Elvis, Bird Dog by the Everly Brothers, and Who Let the Dogs Out by Baja Men. The songs about birds that he knows include Rockin' Robin by Bobby Day, Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen, and Blue Jay Way by the Beatles. And the song about the hippopotamus that he knows is I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by Gayla Peevey.
Plagg's Camembert song is from the episode Captain Hardrock.
Rolland Dupain's quote of 'That's not how it's done', as quoted by Tom, is from the episode Bakerix.
Cat Scratch Fever by Ted Nugent is not mine.
There is an actual show on PBS called The Jazzy Gourmet, which where Jazz's friends came up with the nickname for her.
I've seen a few stories where Lila has different middle names, so I just made up the ones her mother mentioned. (Coincidence that her initials are L-I-A-R? I don't think so!)
I've also seen a few stories where Lila's mother has a different name. Since we don't know her real name, I just call her Isabella.
Celtic Thunder's A Place in the Choir is not mine.
Jasmine, Lila, and Ms. Mendeleiev's dialogue is based on the one Rufio and Peter had in Hook.
There are two different places with the name Lodi. One is in San Joaquin County, California, and was made famous by the song by Creedence Clearwater Revival, while the other one that Mrs. Rossi was talking about is a city in Lombardy in Northern Italy.
And don't worry; Lila's punishment goes into more detail in the next chapter!