I can't help but wonder where Tifa is, right now. It's been six months, twenty two days, fourteen hours and seven minutes since I last saw her beautiful face. I miss looking into her wine colored eyes, running my fingers through her soft brown hair. she makes me feel so complete when we're together, all my hatred for the world disappears, all the stress from everyday work and life vanishes. My fingers long to gently trace down the small of her back, wandering just a little, maybe tease her, but just a little. She knows I would never try to do anything she wouldn't want to do. That's how much I love her. I respect her, not just as a fellow fighter, but as a woman. That is something she should also respect, be proud of. There are so many other men that look at her, but they don't think of her the way I do. I can see past her body, and I can appreciate her mind. Heh, that's something Reno will never know how to do, although he is my best friend, he will never be able to appreciate a good woman when he sees one. Some people just can't. You can say, I'm one of a kind. I'm a bit old fashion when it comes to relations, I open doors and hold umbrellas for women I love. Even women I don't like, it's just the polite thing to do, in my eyes. I'm thinking of calling her, asking her how she's doing, if she'd like to meet me somewhere for dinner or a drink. Of course, I know better and my restless fingers find their way to my pockets and I look away, as I ignore my boss once again barking his orders. I would much rather be spending my summer days by the lake, holding her hand and telling her how much I love her, how good she smells, the little things. But, of course, these are things I cannot do, and I have to board the company helicopter, seconding my best friend, off on another mission in nowhere land. Maybe we'll get to talking about who we like, and maybe I'll let her name slip up, by "accident."
"Hey Rude, who do you like," Reno asked me.
"...Tifa," I said, and he actually looked shocked.
"Really? But poor Elena..." Bull shit, he knows he loves the girl.
"No, she likes Tseng," how could he not notice that one?
"But, Tseng likes that Ancient..." Reno can be quite dense sometimes.
"There here, they're really here," Elena interrupted, and of course we had to fight Avalanche.
I didn't want to. I think Tifa likes me too though, because the whole time, she only attacked Reno. For some reason, actually, they all did. I feel sorry for him, of course, as he limps away and I try to get him to hold still long enough to cast cure three on him. I watch as they leave, I watch Tifa leave and I wish so badly that I could reach out and keep her with me. I want to tell her how I feel so badly. But, this may never happen, or at least not the way I constantly dream of. I'm the self dubbed quiet one, and it would be "uncharacteristic" of me to vocalize my thoughts. This sucks. I'm going to start running in circles soon, I can't get around it... I can't get around thinking of her, where she's going, what she's going to be doing tonight. If she ever thinks of me, the way I think of her. I already know I won't be able to sleep tonight, I'll end up laying awake all night, wondering if she's sleeping with that idiot blonde, if he's treating her right. There's no way for me to know what she sees in him, and that might be a blessing. I might have to kill him otherwise. No, that's just a little joke, I do joke. I never joined up for this job to kill, I actually believed that I would be helping others, I was far too young, and far too trusting. But, that is for another day. For now, Tseng has landed the helicopter and we have to return to our boring cubicles and file our stupid reports, like we do after every mission. And I will return to my blissful, quiet world, dreaming of Tifa and the day I get the chance to tell her just how I feel.