Disclaimer: I own nothing of Disney's, Bruckheimer's, Verbinski's, and drat it all, I don't own Orlando Bloom! I do own what's left of my mind – whether there's any sanity left in it… well, my friends are still debating that one. Please don't sue me, I'm an underpaid and overworked state employee who has no money to spare.
Author's notes: This is a drabble I did in answer to a challenge on The Black Pearl Sails Fanfiction Yahoo group. The challenge was "luck". March 2004.
AS LUCK WOULD
HAVE IT…
BY
KAHVA
The Jolly Mon is leaking.
As luck would have it, there's the dock at Port Royal. I leave AnaMaria's now sunken boat at the dock. I'm none the worse for wear, except for having wet boots now. Ah well, they'll dry soon enough.
A lady has fallen from the fort, but the soldiers with me can't swim.
As luck would have it, I can. So I save the bonny lass. Who is the Governor's daughter, no less. Fancy that.
I've been found out as a pirate.
As luck would have it, the lass I saved is within reach after I'm clapped in irons. So I use her to make another legendary escape from the British Royal Navy.
My luck is getting even better, I've found the smithy! I ingeniously break the chain on the shackles – with some reluctant assistance from a relatively pleasant donkey.
Oh no… The blacksmith's apprentice has just entered. But I'm Captain Jack Sparrow! And Lady Luck, ahh… she loves me right now, wet boots and all. I'll just charm my way past the lad.
He's actually wanting to fight me! Crazy boy… Wonder if I've ever threatened him before, he looks familiar. But, as luck would have it, I'm an excellent swordsman.
Damn… This lad's the best fighter I've seen in a long time. But once again, as luck would have it, I'm a pirate.
So I cheat. Ta!
The Commodore's men are right outside, pounding on the door. The apprentice is blocking my only other way out. Stubborn whelp. But as luck would have it, I've a pistol. He'll move.
He doesn't move.
My dear Lady Luck, now would be a good time to kiss me again.
She doesn't kiss me. She slaps me instead. Someone has just broken a bottle on my head.
Damn, but Lady Luck is a fickle wench!
She could've at least let me get my boots dry…