Hey, everyone! Thanks for all the reviews. Sorry about the late update…I kind of got side-tracked…

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. Sheesh, why do I have to put this in every chapter? You'd think they would get it the first time…

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Chapter the Fifth

Surprised murmurs and gasps arose amongst the gerbils at the Sergeants words. They all saluted and gave a simultaneous "Yes sir!" before running off to take cover. The Titans stopped, hardly able to believe what was happening.

"Dude, did he just say Gerbil Ninjas?" Beast Boy asked, looking at his friends in hopes of finding some sense in this whole situation. Cyborg nodded, looking down at the squirrel on his leg, who looked back up at him in fear. Robin cracked his knuckles.

"I can beat them," he said with a confident smirk, "Bring on the Gerbils!"

"Yeah, go Robin!" Beast Boy said, punching the air.

"Show those hamster-wannabes some real martial arts!" Cyborg said.

Starfire stepped beside Robin and have him a good whack in the derrière that sent him stumbling forward. He jumped around and looked at Starfire, mouth hanging on its hinges. Starfire clasped her hands and said innocently, "It is traditional to do the slapping of the butt before a tournament, yes?"

"Uh…" Robin said, looking at Beast Boy and Cyborg who were, despite the present situation, killing themselves laughing.

"I'll, uh, get back to you on that." Robin said, directing his attention back to the predicament at hand.

Raven just rolled her eyes. She found the whole situation to be stupid and pointless, and wished that she had a book she could read right now. Coincidentally, not far off, an equally stupid and pointless situation was taking place. A man by the name of Thomas Robinson was faced with charges for crime against humanity, because it was he who drank the milk from the presidents' milk carton. He pleaded innocence, but even though his lawyer was a very well-known and respected Beagle, he lost the case. Poor unfortunate Thomas was sentenced to seven years in jail, and was forced to buy the president a new carton of milk. Five young lion cubs died in the process.

"Are you pathetic mortal-chaps done with your bloody situation? We would really like to get the Tower-taking-over done with. We do have other things we would like to get done, you know." Sergeant Nibbles said, tapping his little pink foot impatiently.

"You bet we are!" Cyborg shouted, pointing his finger at the gerbil Sergeant confidently. The squirrel chirped its agreement, pointing its little claw at the gerbil as well.

"Marvelous." Sergeant Nibbles said, stippling his little fingers, "Gerbil Ninjas, you know what to do."

Suddenly, three black-clad gerbils jumped from the ceiling –and I will leave it to the imagination of you, the readers, to determine just how they were able to jump from the ceiling- and landed in front of the Titans. The smallest Gerbil Ninja drew two long samurai sword; the medium-sized Gerbil Ninja pulled out six ninja-stars (Or whatever you call them. I really have no clue.); the largest, and obviously most heavy Gerbil Ninja pulled out two nun chucks. Said Gerbil Ninjas took a stance, Robin obliging by drawing his bo-staff and taking a stance as well.

"If you want Titans Tower, you'll have to get past me first!" Robin said confidently.

"That shall not be a problem." The smallest Gerbil Ninja said. Robin narrowed his eyes. It was then that Beast Boy, impatient that he had said nothing for several minutes, pounced into the center of the room, threw his arms into the air, and shouted something rather unexpected.

"Ooga-booga! Hah! I just placed a voodoo curse on you, and when you wake up next morning, one of your socks will be missing!"

Beast Boy jumped from foot to foot, pointing and cackling insanely at the gerbils. The gerbils just stared at him skeptically. Raven whacked Beast Boy on the back of the head.

"Can't you go for five minutes without making a total idiot of yourself?" she said dryly.

The squirrel on Cyborg's leg chattered for a moment. Everyone stared at it.

"I hear ya, little man." Cyborg said, nodding.

"This is such a pointless waste of time." Raven said, "I should just bang my head against the wall and put myself into a coma now. God, I'm so depressed."

Everyone shifted their gaze and stared at her.

"You Titans do know how to stall, don't you?" the smallest Gerbil Ninja sighed in exasperation. Beast Boy and Cyborg shrugged simultaneously.

"Well then, for the sake of the reader's attention span, let us begin the fight already!" the largest Gerbil Ninja spoke for the first time. Robin nodded.

"I couldn't agree more. HIYAH!" he then lunged forwards, only to have his blow blocked by the sword of the smallest Gerbil Ninja. Robin tried again, narrowly avoiding a blow from the nun chucks of the largest Gerbil Ninja by executing a back flip. He drew two birdarangs in mid-flight and threw them at the gerbils, who missed them by doing various flips and other acrobatic moves.

However, the largest Gerbil Ninja was caught off guard when Robin jumped into the air, landing behind the misshaped rodent and landing him a good blow on the head. The gerbil staggered back, bumping into the leg of the kitchen table, his weight causing the table to jerk violently. He was a rather large gerbil, after all. Poor fellow, his doctor always told him he ate too many Cheetos. But who can resist the delicious taste of artificial cheese flavoring?

However, heavy the Gerbil Ninja was, and the jerk he caused the table sent a knife coated in wet lye that, for one reason or another, had been set there by Cyborg the previous day. (Upon interrogation later on, the metal man denied all accusations of it being him who placed the knife there, and forcefully made it clear that if anyone asked him again, he would put them to his own punishment. No one dared ask what that punishment was.) The knife went flying, and by pure chance, landed on the stove, tearing through the coincidental fabric Starfire had invented earlier that day. (A/N: Ha-ha, you thought I'd forgotten about that, didn't you?)

There was a shocked silence. Then Starfires' eyes started to glow green.

"You adorable little rodents have RUINED my coincidental fabric created simply by mixing egg shells, baking soda, an old bottle of mustard and a handful of toenail clipping I found on the floor!" she roared, her hands glowing with their trade-mark green solar energy. Everyone stared in horror.

Then, just as the Tamaranien princess was about to launch her first attack, sirens sounded, and the wall burst open in a barrage of rubble and dust. Upon instinct, everyone shielded their eyes. The first thing to reach the rather unusual yet shocked group was the sound of a voice speaking through a megaphone.

"Everyone put their hands up!"

"Yes, way up!" said another magnified voice, "Upper the up! Up to utmost upness! Even upper then that-"

"Shut up, will you?" the first voice said in obvious irritation. Two figures emerged from the rubble. They were both clad in full army-patterned body suits, complete with utility belts and helmets. Tinted masks covered their faces. The gerbil and Titans all exchanged a confused glance, unsure of how to react, and put their hands up.

"There it is!" exclaimed one of the men, the one with the second voice, pointing at Robin. He still spoke through his megaphone.

"Yes, yes, I see him. You can lower your megaphone." the first man, who seemed to be of a higher authority, said in irritation. The second man shrugged and rested his speaker in a loop on his utility belt. He then followed the first man's lead by showing a badge to the group. The first man spoke.

"We are from the Federal Protection Agency of the Community against Extremely Dangerous and Abnormal Creatures."

"Nice name." Raven said sarcastically, having regained her empathetic composure. The second man shuffled his feet awkwardly.

"Well, it does take an awful long time to say-" the first man cut him off.

"It has been brought to our attention that you have a very rare breed of monkey in your possession. We simply ask that you hand him over."

"We do?" Robin asked, lifting the side of his amazingly flexible mask in confusion.

"It talks!" the second man gasped. The first man flinched for a moment, obviously caught off guard as well.

"It would appear so…" he said, walking cautiously up to Robin.

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Beast Boy exclaimed, "You guys think that Robin is a monkey?"

"We don't think. We know."

"But that's crazy!" Robin exclaimed in disbelief.

"Is it, Robin?" the first man said, "Or should I say…Nibor! For that is indeed your real name!"

Everyone gasped.

"It can not be!" Starfire exclaimed, putting her hands to her cheeks in despair.

"We're sorry to say that it is," the first man said gravely, "For you see, your friend is really Nibor, the king of the sacred monkey island of Kanuck. His race is highly ferocious, and carries an unusually dangerous and contagious form of rabies."

"You made that up! And Nibor is just Robin spelled backwards!" Robin said angrily, "Now get out of here! We're in the middle of a fight!"

"We're not going anywhere unless you surrender, Nibor!" the first man stated firmly.

"Yeah, we're not going nowhere. Less then nowhere! In fact, we're not going to move at all! We're going to stand here, away fro nowhere, and aren't going to budge, because that we mean we were going somewhere and we're not going nowhere-"

"Shut the hell up!" he first man said, whacking the second man over the head with his megaphone, "You an embarrassment to the entire Federal Protection Agency of the Community against Extremely Dangerous and Abnormal Creature!"

However, by the time the man had finished saying the name of their federation, the gerbil army, along with the Titans, had disappeared through a portal that had suddenly manifested itself in the center of the room. The two men looked around the room for a moment in confusion.

"Dangit!" the first man said, "It happened again!"

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Dun dun dun… Where have the Titans and the gerbil army gone? What will the two men do when they are forced to go back to the Federal Protection Agency of the Community against Extremely Dangerous and Abnormal Creature base empty-handed? When will my toast be ready? This, and many more questions that I can't think of at the moment will be answered in the next chapter! Hopefully!

Please review!