Chapter 16

Musicaa opened his eyes slowly and cautiously as the pain in his head receded, and he felt himself being lifted up. He opened his eyes some more as whoever held him shook roughly, and he decided it was useless to play dead.

"Grandpa! W-what? How did you?"

"We have to go back. Now."

Musicaa gulped and nodded, eyes down so they would not make contact with his grandfather's. "But what about you? I mean, the younger you?"

"I've taken him back... or maybe I should say forwards...he is at home, just as you should be. Go." Sabin let Musicaa down and Musicaa walked slowly towards an open portal. "I'll talk to you once your grandmother has seen you. Alone, Musicaa." Musicaa's head hung in shame and he quickened his steps towards the portal.

Sabin waited until Musicaa had gone through, and took one last look at the tainted Memory Pool. He sighed. "So many memories wasted... Musicaa will fix it one day, if I can remember to send him." He stepped through the portal to join his grandson on the cold, wintry slopes of Mount Koltz, and saw Selena watching anxiously from the doorstep. He smiled slightly and waved her inside, pushing Musicaa gently behind her.

Selena sank onto a couch and frowned at Sabin. "You're not supposed to bring anyone back! And where was Musicaa? You can't strain yourself like this anymore, Sabin, it's too, well, straining!" He sat down next to her and kissed her cheek. "I'm okay right now, Selena," he said quietly. "Go to your room, Musicaa, and go to bed." Musicaa nodded sullenly and walked quietly down the hallway, pushing open a closed door. He ran and threw himself onto his bed, beating at the pillow briefly before turning over and staring at the opposite wall where his newspaper clippings were hung up. They were all events from the time of the Breaking, where his grandfather and his great-uncle had fought to restore peace with their friends.

"It's not fair, there's nothing like that happening now! I wish there was... so I could do something and Grandpa wouldn't yell at me." he noticed his grandfather's past self lying wrapped up on the floor in a blanket. "You ever had one of those days? I bet you have. I should ask Grandpa when he's in a better mood."

He lay back on his bed for an hour, before thinking that there had to be something serious his grandparents were talking about, since his grandfather usually wasted no time in disciplining him. He got up and changed out of his sweaty clothes, not wanting to be stinking and wet if his grandfather decided to chastise him on the spot, and into his bed clothes. He tossed the clothes and scarf into a laundry basket and pulled on a clean pair of socks before heading back down the hall and towards the dining room. The door was closed there, also highly unusual in his grandfather's household, and he laid his ear against the door.
"I don't know how much time left I have, Selena. It's becoming harder and harder to wake up in the mornings, like I don't have the strength to do it anymore..."

He could hear his grandmother crying and he pictured her wringing her hands, like she always did when she was upset, and biting her lip.

"Sabin, I don't want anything to happen to you! I don't know what I'd do, or how I'd raise Musicaa by myself, or, or, or," Selena was working herself up into hysterics, or at least dangerously close to them. "I don't understand what's wrong! You don't have any kind of illness that I'm aware of, and you've just been looking... so weak... you're getting thinner and eating less, and you sleep more now... I don't understand!" Musicaa cracked open the door and saw his grandmother hug his grandfather tightly.

"I... Musicaa knows what it is... he's a good-hearted boy, he went back to try to find a cure... for my heart. My mother had the disease, and I guess I got it from her. I don't think there's a cure for it, and it's just gotten worse and worse... I fear it's won't be long till I'm..." he made a helpless gesture. "Till I join the rest of my family in the Royal Tomb."

Selena let loose an anguished sob and sat down heavily on a chair, face in her hands. Musicaa's hands shook and before he could stop himself, he had flung open the door and ran inside. "Grandpa!" he ran to Sabin and his grandfather opened his arms and hugged him tightly. "Musicaa... my little Musicaa..."

"I tried, Grandpa! I tried... and now I know! Uncle Edgar had the cure... he had it... still has it... and I can go back and get it Grandpa! I can... and you'll be okay again!" Sabin shook his head. "No. Edgar has been... Edgar disappeared years ago... years and years ago. I think he was ambushed and murdered on the way to a meeting with Imperial Fanatics. I searched for five years, and I found not a trace of him. Edgar had it with him, and now he's gone.

"And there's something else I need to tell you Musicaa... about your father, Enri. And your mother." Another despairing wail was heard from Selena and Musicaa fought the urge to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay at that very instant. He stood and focused all attention on Sabin. Sabin sat down and pulled a chair close to Selena, an arm around her shoulders.

"Enri... died... before you were born."

Musicaa stared at him, uncomprehendingly, but then a horrible thought dawned on him. "You... you lied to me! You knew, all these years, and you lied! You told me he disappeared!"

Sabin averted his gaze from his grandson's furious green eyes. "No... Enri died... and your mother... died giving birth to you..."

"No! That's not true! You told me..." he sank to his knees. "you told me that she was abducted and Dad left to look for her, and left me with you. You told me he'd be back some day, but that was... a lie. He was dead all along, and you let me harbor false hopes that he would come back one day, you... you... liar!"

Selena clung to Sabin, a pleading look in her eyes. "Musicaa! We did it for you! So that you wouldn't feel alone, and pine for them..."

"You lied to me! I lost my father, and you lied about it, lied through your teeth, and smiled doing it!"

Sabin got up abruptly, a cold, deep look in his eyes that Musicaa couldn't place. "You forget yourself, Musicaa. You lost your father, but I lost my son! I was there when he died! And I'm here now, and I wonder, why did I live, and he die? If I had been stronger, could he have lived? He's petrified now, turned to stone, because I couldn't protect him! Think about that, Musicaa. Think about that before you attack others!"

Sabin turned quickly and opened the front door, slamming it behind him so hard that the windows shook and Selena squeaked in fright. "He can't go out there! There will be a blizzard soon, he'll freeze!" She ran to the door and opened it, calling out blindly in the darkness. "Sabin! Sabin! Sabin, come back home!"

Musicaa turned around. "Let him freeze. I don't care," he said, and he stomped back to his room, slamming his own door, leaving Selena to call for Sabin as the wind howled and the night air got ever colder.