Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

This is about TATE. I'm so not good at knowing how the characters are so it is possible that you will think oh they wouldn't do or say that. I'm just writing this to get over that Kate died and she will never be with Tony and that now I really don't like Bellisario.

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The 14th of April was as bad as Kate thought. The bullet brushed her hair and caused some bleeding. Someone was trying to kill her or Gibbs. Tony and Gibbs turned around and started to shoot at the direction the shots were coming from. The next thing she remember was that she was lying in the hospital and McGee told her the dreadful news about Gibbs and Tony lying there too.

Did she fail? Wasn't she the one who was going to protect them? Wasn't she the one who should have expected Ari to do such a thing?

McGee told her about her injuries which weren't serious. A bandage around her head for the wound and she got a bullet through her arm but it didn't hurt any bone at all. Kate was lucky.

Gibbs got a bullet in his leg but he is going to be totally fine too. She felt relieved when she heard that and even more relieved when McGee wheeled him in to see her. At the same time Kate started to get more worried about Tony. She asked about him and she could tell both Gibbs and McGee had a hard time telling her what was going on. Kate was really glad to see them but she wanted to be alone because going through the pain again about worrying about Tony such a short time after he got Y Pestis was too much for her. She tried to be strong when they were in the room and not show her true feelings but as soon as they left tears ran down her face.

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The bullets were made to kill. Precise bullets which could go through any vest. It went through Tony's. Kate wanted to remember but Gibbs was the only one who remembered what really happened and she could tell he didn't want to tell her everything. What did she do at the time?

She wasn't so badly hurt that she must have done something.

After thinking a while and gaining strength to ask the nurse if she could visit him Kate started to feel strange. Not usual strange but still strange. She couldn't explain it. It was a sad gut feeling she got. So sad that tears started to run down her face again. She was agent Todd and not agent emotional basket case.

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She wasn't allowed to see Tony until the day after because he wasn't well enough to have visitors. Gibbs and McGee had before only seen him through a window but now this was the first time they all could go in and see him. She held his hand and hoped he would squeeze it but nothing. Kate saw the look on Gibbs' face when he looked at her. He knew something she didn't know. Kate wished he could tell her. She knew it wasn't about his condition because the doctors had explained it all. Tony was still weak after recovering from Y Pestis but he still had a 50 chance of surviving. The bad part was that they would be 100 sure he would survive if he hadn't had Y Pestis. Why did he have to come on the mission?

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It hurt so bad to see Kate and Tony. Gibbs thought he had lost them both. The flashback was coming back so vividly now. Why wasn't it enough that he had it going through his head several times a day?

"Kaaaaaaaaate!" Tony yelled as he saw her fall down. He quickly gained his composure and started to fire against where the shots came from. Gibbs did the same. After a while, all three of them where lying on the roof and the shots had stopped. The echo of hearing Tony scream her name had never left his head. The sight of seeing Kate so sad right now…Well he knew that would never leave his head too. Telling Kate what happened would be hard but he had to do it.

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When he woke up Tony wondered where he was. Was this his reality? Was pain his reality? He always wondered which pain hurts the most and now he knew. He didn't want to find it out this way but I did. The pain was dark and it kept creeping around him. Tony was scared and knew he had to do something to make it stop. He just knew he couldn't do it alone. All the doctors here and still he was either too tired to move or couldn't move because of another reason. Too move maybe meant move on and he wasn't ready for that. What did he have now?

Was Caitlyn Todd still here in this world?

The answer to that question was important to him. Everything Tony hadn't said to her. He didn't even know how long he had been there. Can he have missed her funeral? All Tony remembered was her body on the ground and his heart broken into a million pieces. He had never lost someone so close to him before. He guessed he had been lucky considering everything which goes on in his family. Not many NCIS agents could say that. Was he now an agent who no longer can say he was lucky?

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Early in the morning before rounds Kate got one of the nurses to wheel her in to his room. She had got some good convincing powers she thought.

Never have she felt so happy after hearing her name "Caitlin"