Around 6:30p.m. Samantha let herself into my apartment and I was sitting in a tub full of warm water and bubbles…still staring at the marriage license and certificate…I couldn't believe it…
I was married…when I wanted to be…but I wasn't even happy about it, because of my job. And I wasn't exactly married to the guy who made me want to have a million children with him…but he was still good looking…Who the hell do I think I'm kidding…the man was fuckin' fine!
Samantha came in and sat on the toilet lid and said, "So what happened and why was Taker there to see you?" I leaned have and handed her the 2 pieces of paper. It took her a few minutes to read then and for it to finally kick in at what they were saying exactly…but she nearly flew through the roof once she figured it all out…
I believe her words were, "HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT ALY! You're married to the Undertaker." I laughed and said, "His name is Mark woman…and yes it seems we both had a little too much to drink and drove into New Jersey and got married…"
Samantha with her head constantly in the gutter said, "So did you consummate this marriage?" I said, "Samantha Ann Martini! I don't believe you asked me that…well yes we did…actually…Mark said we consummated it 4 times."
Sami said, "And…was it any good?" I said, "My thighs and pussy still tingle every time I think about how sore I was the next day when I woke up…it had to of been some great sex, I just wish I could remember it…hell I wish I could remember anything that happened that night…" Sami said, "So what are you going to do?"
I said, "Well, I have a 6 months leave of absence…I'm sure I can't think of something within the next 183 days…The judge won't grant us an annulment or a divorce because he said we were irresponsible and should responsibility for the consequences of our actions. The only thing we can do is try the divorce and annulment thing again in 2 months."
Sami said, "Is that all you can do…I know if I was married to him…I would enjoy it down to the last drop."
I said, "Samantha this isn't a cup of coffee, it's a marriage to a guy who was drunk and so was I…this is not how you build steady relationships. You don't not get drunk and find the first guy who throws a cheesy one liner at you and fall at his feet, get married to him and fuck him…that's not a relationship…it's not even a marriage."
I propped my head up on the side of he tub and huffed, "What the hell do I know…I haven't had a really relationship in a couple of years…I was going through a 3 year drought when I married Mark and then screwed him."
Sami said, "Maybe you need that little extra shock to the system…now that you know you really can have ANY man out there…" I said, "It was a shock…but it doesn't prove anything except to say don't get drunk around Sexy guys with tattoos, muscles, and a really nice ass. Oh shit I give up."
I got out of the water as Samantha went home and said she'd call me later in the week. I dried off and got dressed…I was about to sit down when there was a knock on my door…