Glenn looked up and saw Alyssa walking down the ramp…she didn't look happy…infact she had a look in her eyes that said she was hurting and was trying to hide it good. Glenn watched as Alyssa looked up from the ground and saw her sister and her friend laughing and having fun…she plastered a fake smile on her face.
Glenn looked up and saw Mark about 25 feet behind her…with a lazy shit eating grin on his face…so he had either done something to her…or she saw him with his all the time fling Dawn Marie.
I watched as Glenn called Mark over and whispered in his ear…Mark shook his head for a minute and looked at me…then said, "Alyssa baby, come with me…I need to speak with you in private." I walked over and stood next to him and he grabbed my hand and I was nearly creaming my panties again…but all I could do was just swallow…
I could feel the tears building in my eyes…I didn't want to cry in front of Mark…I didn't want him to know he had any effect on me, especially like that. We walked back up the ramp and into an empty dressing room…and he closed the locked the door behind us.
I stood with my arms wrapped around myself…looking down at my feet…Mark stood there with his hands on his hips and said, "Something you wanna talk about?" I said, "It wasn't my idea to come back here…this was yours…you wanted to speak in private so here we are…so start speaking." Mark said, "Why are you getting so defensive all of a sudden?" I said, "I'm not doing anything all of a sudden…I'm just standing here waiting for you to tell me what you wanted to talk about."
Mark said, "That's bullshit and you know…you look like you're on the verge of tears…what's wrong?" I said, "Nothing…nothing that you can fix at least." Mark put his index finger under my chin and raised my head to look in my eyes and when he did that I blinked…he could see the tears swelling in my eyes…but I refused to let them fall in front of him.
Mark said, "Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?" I said, "I already told you Mark…you can't fix it…you can't fix every problem I have…" Mark said, "Won't you at least let me try?" I said, "For what? You can't fix me either…As much as I'd like for you to be able to help me…you can't…you'll never be able to help me."
I turned and left out the door.
It was true…Mark couldn't help me…he couldn't stop me from falling in love with him…no more then I could stop him from wanting to be with another woman…If there had been any other way to stop myself, I would have tried it already…but as it was nothing was working…I even started talking to Veronica more…and listen to her go on and on about Adam…but nothing worked.
It didn't matter how many of the guys in the back that I got along with and became good friends with…I still wanted one man who didn't want me…After a while I kept questioning myself…I used to be so independent…I never depended on anyone in my life but me…
What happened to Miss Independent?
To Be Continued…