The Greek Goddess Hecate reminds us of the importance of change, helping us to release the past, especially of those things that are hindering our growth, and to accept change and transitions. She sometimes asks us to let go of what is familiar, safe, and secure and to travel to the scary places of the soul. She can lead us to see things differently (ourselves included) and help us find greater understanding of ourselves and others. She loans her farsightedness for you to see what lies deeply forgotten or even hidden, and helps you make a choice and find your path."
AN: I'm sorry, but I forgot the exact webpages for it…if this particular passage is yours, please email me and let me know so I can acknowledge it… Thanks!
I've changed the Egyptian goddess Isis to Greek ones because they're more interesting.
…
…
"Let's do it, Kougaiji!" Goku shouted as he leapt through the air.
Kougaiji looked up as his hands trembled around the portal he'd just opened. The sheer power of it was nothing short of overwhelming. "Dodge, Goku! Let me apologize for one thing, I had doubts about the path I was walking, but not anymore! I've got more important than good or evil can measure, so I'm fighting for my own sake!"
"Is that so?" Goku grunted, more focused on finding out how to stop the gigantic shikigami from moving than anything. "Extending Nyoyi Staff!"
The Nyoyi staff pierced clear through the demon's belly, halting the monster for one crucial moment. And that one moment was what Kougaiji had needed, even as the small portal exploded to more than a hundred times it's normal size.
"Kougaiji!"
"Come forth, ENGOKUKI!"
A hideous monster like nothing they'd ever seen rushed out from the portal and completely devoured the giant shikigami. If Qing didn't know better, she could've sworn that it was a scene straight out of a Power Rangers TV show she'd seen when she was a kid.
There was an enormous explosion, and it was day again.
…
A few thousand miles away, a bored Empress Gyokumen fixed her scientist—and sometime lover—with one of her stares. "I just felt a large magical disturbance in the East."
It was the woman scientist who chose to answer. She didn't bother to remember her name. "Yes. Lord Kougaiji just summoned a demon."
"I see."
Nii observed her casually. "You don't seem very interested."
"Did you think I would be, Nii?"
"Who knows?" He shrugged. "Well, not that it matters either way."
The self-proclaimed Empress leaned forward, onto much more important things. "So, is Lirin unharmed?"
"My, my, just like the great Empress Gyokumen to worry about her own child." Another of Nii's assistants popped up.
She turned to him disdainfully. "Of course. After all, we really need her for the resurrection of Gyuumaou. Isn't that right, Nii?"
Nii made no response; he simply shrugged.
She continued, slightly mocking this time. "Well now, you're the one who made the discovery."
"No, I merely reported the results of my research."
"Either way is fine." She stretched languorously on her throne and smiled. "As long as Gyuumaou is resurrected, everything is just fine for me. I'll have everything I want in the palm of my hand. All of you, my beloved."
She laughed, exceedingly pleased.
…
The dust was overwhelming even as Goku and Gojyo coughed. Qing had her hand firmly clapped over her nose and mouth, and made it a point not to breathe unless she really had to. Who knew what that kind of dust could do to her lungs?
"Did we get it?" Goku choked, squinting.
"Looks like it," the redhead replied. The place was a bigger mess than it was earlier, and he could barely make out the forms of Kougaiji and his people as they stood before them.
"Kougaiji." Goku spoke, watching him carefully. Was the guy up for yet another fight?
"We're withdrawing for today," he said calmly. "Given the massive interference and all."
Sanzo simply grunted.
Then he turned to Goku. "I had doubts about the path I was taking. I believe it was rude to challenge you with a confused mind. But next time will be different. Next time, I will defeat you for my own sake." There was a small smile on his handsome face now.
"You haven't gotten to double payback yet," Goku replied, a tad imperiously. But he felt a strange sense of pride, nonetheless. If Kougaiji had not been his enemy, they could've been very good friends.
"Put it on my tab. I'll pay it back soon enough."
"Testosterone overload much?" Qing muttered. And when they both turned to look at her, she raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"San-zo!" Lirin chirped happily. "Let's play again when I come back!"
Yet another vein pop and a patented scowl. "Who'd want to play with a shitty little brat like you?"
"Next time, bring me a souvenir." Gojyo remarked to his half-brother, who simply nodded and smirked.
"You better make sure you've got tea waiting." Came the equally cocky response.
"Make sure you treat the wound with care," Hakkai said kindly to a smiling Yaone, who nodded gratefully and murmured a soft 'thank you'.
"Be well, everyone."
And they disappeared. No evil lines of 'we're going to get you' or 'die, morons die!' or anything, which baffled Qing all the more. But then again, the circumstances under which the two groups met had been nothing short of strange.
"She told us all to be well," Goku commented, vaguely amused. No nemesis of his had ever told him that before. Oh well, strange things happened sometimes.
Gojyo chuckled, musing at the bizarreness of it all. This was one of the most civil goodbyes he'd ever received from a group that was meant to be their enemy. It seemed like they were good people; only they were fighting on the wrong side. "One helluva group of enemies we've got there."
"I'm sure they're just somebody else's pawns." Sanzo said, his eyes thoughtful. "Some dumbass who's trying to resurrect Gyuumaou and plunge this world into chaos is behind Kougaiji. They're the real enemy we need to defeat."
"And the plot just gets thicker and thicker." Qing sighed, then looked up to the sky. "Hey Goddess, can I go home now?"
No response.
She sagged, disappointed. "Guess I'm stuck with you guys for now."
Sanzo calmly lit a cigarette. "It's the other way round, wench."
She glared at him. "Do you mind?"
He raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Smoking. I'd like to not die of lung cancer. At least wait till we get out of here and I'm far away from you or something."
He shrugged and ignored her, idly blowing out a stream of smoke in her general direction. The wench was just so easy to rile sometimes.
"How come you don't tell the kappa to stop smoking?" Goku asked curiously. "The guy smokes more than Sanzo does."
"Because he's less aggravating. And because now is not a good time to smoke. God knows what smoke combined with prehistoric building dust will do to my lungs."
Sanzo grunted as he puffed on his cigarette. "You're a true picture of selflessness."
She scowled at him. "Speak for yourself, smoke breath."
He was not impressed. "If that's supposed to be an insult, you're losing your touch."
"Anyway, let's leave this city." Hakkai suddenly spoke before things could really get going.
"Right," Gojyo shrugged as they turned to leave with a grousing Qing in tow.
A sound behind them caught Hakkai's attention, and he turned. With a gasp, he recognized the yin/yang symbol that was painted on a chunk of rock lying at his feet. Is that the identity of that shikigami, and of that fortune teller, Chin Iisou?
He bent down to pick it up to look at it more closely, and it crumbled apart in his hands, revealing a mahjong tile that bore the word; Sin.
He could almost see Chin Iisou's face now, even as his earlier words resounded in his mind. You have the eyes of a sinner, yes you do…
The revelation was like an iron punch to the gut even as he fell to his feet and gagged, the memories rushing through him with an almost painful intensity. The word seemed to glare out at him accusingly. Sin.
Sin…
At his cry, the rest of the group stopped in their tracks.
"Hakkai, what's wrong?" Gojyo asked, frowning.
"Nothing…" he panted, his chest heaving as Qing put a hand on his shoulder. "N-n-nothing at all."
He stared down at the mahjong tile as cold realization crept through him like a lizard. I…I know those eyes. But from where? Who is he? Who, exactly, is he?
…
"How long are you going to have her stay here?" Kanzeon drawled even as Hecate watched the world, an expression of vague amusement on her face. An Greek chthonian goddess in all her finery looked out of place here, but none of them bothered. Pantheons generally stuck to their own worlds, but crossing dimensions and interacting with other pantheons were not unheard of, either.
"Until she learns her lesson." The goddess shook her head as she smoothed out her silver-white robes. "I've never had this much trouble with any of the Daughters before, you know. It's such a pity that the Blood runs in her veins instead of the other one. That other girl shows more potential; this ignorant girl only knows how to fight me every step of the way."
The other goddess considered that; not wanting to even question Hecate on why she didn't want to bring that other one here instead. Greek gods worked in sometimes incomprehensible ways. Nonetheless, she eyed her shrewdly. "You didn't send her here just because you felt like it. Why them?"
"Because you still owed me a favor," She smirked, then turned back to watch them. "And just look at your four champions. They've got so much to learn. I've watched them for a long while, and I know that someday they'll convince that chit that her birthright is not her curse. She has a lot to learn from them. And perhaps…she might teach them something in return."
"Like how to properly irritate someone, for one."
The Greek queen of witchery smiled slightly despite her next words. "You don't say."
Kanzeon cocked her head to the side. It wasn't often that one saw the shrewd and cunning goddess that soft. "She's your favourite, isn't she?"
"She's the granddaughter of my favourite. There's a difference. Besides, Jarenna died here. It's only fitting that her granddaughter comes here, too."
"Come to think of it, she's got her grandmother's eyes." That particular witch had been relatively well-known. Not as well known or as recognized as a Sanzo, but formidable in her own right. It was a pity that she'd passed away ten years ago. And she'd been so young, merely a few days over fifty. "I wonder if this Sanzo will find blue eyes as enchanting as his master did."
Hecate looked even more amused. "What do you think? It's obvious they despise each other. And Jarenna was nowhere was obnoxious as Qing is."
Kanzeon studied her closely, not intent on letting her off the hook so fast. "I know how you think, Hecate. You plucked Qing from her world and her time to put her with Koumyou's ward for a reason." Gods generally transcended time and dimensions, but the fact that Hecate had actually made an effort to put that witch's granddaughter here—with this Sanzo, of all people—made it seem all the more fishy.
Hecate said nothing, and simply smiled. It was obvious that the goddess was not going to spill the beans. Instead, she simply said. "You don't mind, do you?"
"Of course not. It's added entertainment, especially with what you're going to allow later on." A lazy smile crept across her face.
"Consider it a gentle.…nudge in the right direction." Contrary to popular belief, the girl was not here to be punished; she was here to learn.
"If that's a nudge, I wouldn't want to be around for the shove, fun as it may sound. Did you know what your girl told me? She actually had the cheek to tell me not to slather on too much moisturizer at one go because I looked cakey. It took me all I had not to blast her to oblivion for that one."
The goddess laughed. "That's not as bad as the one she blurted about that Sanzo boy. I have to applaud his self-control; he hadn't shot her, after all."
Kanzeon snorted derisively. "Sanzo didn't shoot her because he just figured that he'd be wasting his bullet."
"No wonder he's your nephew. I can see the similarities already."
"It runs in the family." She tilted her head slightly, a mildly amused light in her dark eyes. "She doesn't know, does she?"
"Know what?"
"Her ancestry."
"No. Her head is already swollen enough. Besides, I don't think she even knows or cares who Selene is."
"She's the last of the line."
"Yes." She sighed. "But Selene's still pining over that shepherd to care too much about what happens to her bloodline." Only her eyes betrayed her extreme annoyance, for Hecate was a goddess who was known also as a protector of children; namely, to restore their health and aid their growth; it was one of the reasons Hecate had been drawn to Qing.
Kanzeon rolled her eyes. "Silly wench."
She sighed. "Yeah. She and Artemis got into a huge fight the other day. You know how Artemis is—I'll bet she has something to do with the drastic rise of feminism in the mortal realm. Not that I mind, really—But sometimes she can be so…annoyingly stubborn when it comes to romantic love, and even Apollo can't seem to be able to get through to her. She told Selene straight in the face that she was pathetic."
"And she didn't take it too well, I suppose."
"Zeus had to come down personally to settle that one, and Hera isn't too happy with Artemis at the moment." She sighed tiredly. "It's a regular madhouse back there, you know." She paused for a moment, then spoke. "Quite frankly, I don't understand why Artemis is making such a big deal out of it. It's not like she's a virgin either. Remember the affair she had with Orion before Apollo tricked her into killing him?"
Kanzeon raised an idle eyebrow at that, but said nothing.
The other goddess went on, more to herself than to the Goddess of Mercy. "It's not like any of the gods and goddesses in Mount Olympus are virgins. Even the Erinyes are involved, although they actively deny it."
"I thought you were a virgin goddess."
"Of course not. I just didn't want to be tied down by marriage. These are two very different things."
The Goddess of Mercy yawned, suddenly bored with the conversation. The Greek pantheons were so strangely complicated, and she just couldn't bother keeping up with the latest soap opera-like happenings. Maybe that was why Hecate kept visiting. Ah well. "Come on, Hecate. It's been awhile since you've been here, haven't you?"
"True. Well, what do you want to do?"
"How about a game of chess? I'm still sore about you winning the previous few matches."
"It's because I'm smarter than you, that's why." And it was also because Athena had taught her a thing or two. One could learn many things from the goddess of wisdom and war. Little, ego-bruising things like she could never win in a game of chess with Athena no matter how she tried, for one.
"Oh, you are definitely going to have to eat those words when I'm through with you."
…
"I never wanted you… you were a mistake. It wasn't supposed to be this way…"
The words, soft and lilting, dogged her every step as she ran, desperate for a way—any way—out. She'd been running for as long as she could remember, but it was always the same thing.
It was always dark, and that voice was always whispering.
She ran, and came to a heavy oaken door. She pushed against it, but it refused to open.
Lightning flashed, and a skull that had been embedded in the door leered down at her. With a scream, she backed away from it and continued running.
The shadows were catching up, and the voice grew louder. It was always the same three sentences, echoing eerily over and over again.
She ran.
There was a dead end, but there were faces within the walls. Demonic, bloodied faces, mutilated beyond recognition, and laughing. They were all laughing at her.
She inhaled sharply and turned to run back the way she came, but before her loomed the crossroads. A pole was in the middle, and on it, three demonic heads were hung, their eyes staring at her sightlessly. Right, or left? Where could she run?
Closing her eyes, she took the right road, but she didn't have to run far. A little girl no older than four stood before her, a huge, ornately carved book in her hands.
That girl was her.
She stopped short, stunned.
The little girl stared up at her, blue eyes hauntingly effulgent in the darkness. She smiled, a smile utterly devoid of malice. Or, she realized—blood running cold—any emotion.
And the little girl began to sing, her whispery voice sounding unnervingly clear.
"Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream…"
Then the voice seemed to change, becoming hideous chorus of sepulchral grunts and snarls that chilled her to the bone. Then a soft voice. "Help…Find mine."
The Book of Spells fell to the floor with a jarring thump, right between her and the little girl, and it opened to a cream, blank page.
It was not blank for long, even as blood crept down like vines from the top of the little girl's head and down her porcelain skin, tracking deep marks into the snowy whiteness of it to seep into the book.
The girl's ivory-white fingers reached for her, blood weaving tiny patterns on her hand as it dripped off tapered fingernails.
She recoiled.
And in front of her horrified eyes, the girl crumbled into dust as the Book absorbed all her blood and essence, leaving the girl as an emaciated corpse that leered up hollowly at her.
"Row, row, row your boat…"
The Book exploded at her in a rush of pure scarlet, the smell of blood and death overpowering her.
Qing screamed.
"It wasn't supposed to be this way…"
…
Qing bolted awake, a hoarse scream tearing from her throat. And then there was pain, that familiar, blinding pain that gathered behind her eyes and assaulted her senses.
Through the haze of pain, she dimly thought she saw bright emerald eyes, inches away from her face. "Miss Qing?"
Something was holding her shoulders. The warmth—the warmth was too much to take. The warmth of the blood when it spilled over her felt altogether too much like this.
Blinded by the intense agony, she lashed out, hitting those hands away. "No! Get away from me!"
"Miss Qing, talk to me! Are—" She vaguely remembered the voice, and winced as it caused her head to throb even more. It was as if her brain was trying to kill her or something, the way it pounded in her skull. "Miss Qing, are you all right? Talk to me! Are—"
"Will it kill you to just stop talking for a moment?" she snapped grouchily, immediately regretting the action because her brain decided that it didn't like her to use her vocal chords, and exhibited it's disagreement by sending yet another a sharp arrow through her cranium, making her groan. Clutching at her head, she muttered. "This is definitely not the best way to wake up from a nightmare. Ugh."
My, it seems like Miss Qing has been going to the Sanzo school of charm and tact. He mused, relieved that she was not torn to pieces by rampaging demons or anything.
Qing's thoughts, however, were less amused. Why couldn't she just wake up from that nightmare without adding any smidgen of pain into that equation? It was bad enough that that stupid dream had scared the stuffing out of her, but did it have to come with that pain, too?
"A nightmare?" Hakkai's voice was quiet even as he relaxed. He had felt no demonic aura in or around the room, which meant that she was safe.
Qing managed to muster a scowl as she winced again at the pain, closing her eyes. "Hakkai. Right now my brain is waging a nuclear war on the rest of my body, and it's trying to kamikaze itself in the most painful way possible, so kindly refrain from speaking to me or even thinking at me, okay? And do you have extra-strength Tylenol?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Knock-out gas would be fine, too." She gritted her teeth as another wave of pain threatened her consciousness. God how she wished she was dead now; the pain was unbearable. It was like having eighty men wrestling in her brain, like those lame wrestling shows that were trying to emulate 'Days of Our Lives' or something equally incomprehensible. It wasn't without it's merit, though. That particular jolt of pain meant that the worst was over.
She opened her eyes. He was standing by her bedside, the half-moon that poured in from the window illuminating his entire form, making him look almost angelic. And those eyes, those brilliant green eyes…
Can any man be termed as absolutely beautiful? She wondered idly, then shook off that errant thought. Darn it, she must've been more traumatized than she thought she was. Tiredly, she rubbed at her eyes, then her temples; the headache was still there, but it had dulled to an almost acceptable level of pain, leaving her free to ask questions. "How did you get in here? I locked that door."
He smiled sheepishly and held something up. "I asked for a skeleton key when we checked in. Sanzo got tired of having to pay for broken doors." He paused. "I hope this isn't too…improper of me."
"It's not. Unless you have a fetish of busting into girls' rooms at night." Before he could respond, she hastily added. "If you do, please don't tell me about it. It's bad enough finding out that Monk Boy can have sex."
Hakkai chuckled. "Of course not."
She frowned. That wasn't much of an answer, and she forged on. "Okay. And you're standing here in my room in the middle of the night because?"
His worry had long since faded to mild concern and amusement. "You were screaming, and I thought your room was under attack too."
She stiffened. "Too? Why do I not like the sound of that?"
"One of them tried to ambush me in my room a couple of hours ago." He shrugged. "Terribly rude of him. Sanzo and the others have already gone back to sleep after they dealt with theirs."
She stared at him in amazement. A demon thingy had just attacked the man in his sleep, and he could still be so nonchalant about it! Maybe the guy been ambushed one too many times and was now strangely warped and thought it was the norm or something. Oh well. That would pretty much be his problem, not hers, so she wasn't going to bother.
But then again, if he got warped because he got attacked one too many times, what did that say about the frequency of night attacks?
She groaned. This entire stuck-in-another-world-with-a-bunch-of-losers situation was getting steadily worse. "Are you telling me that getting jumped on by assorted disgusting demons in the night is a regular occurrence or something? I mean, hello? I don't know about you, but I so need my beauty sleep. How am I going to get my eight hours if they decide to come after me, too?" It was bad enough camping out and sleeping on rock-hard ground or on the uncomfortable Jeep on most nights, and now she had to put up with demons wrecking her REM cycles when she FINALLY slept on a real bed? Torture much?
REM cycles were extremely delicate things; mess one step up and say goodbye to a good night's rest and recuperation. God, it was such an arduous task trying to stay beautiful in this hellhole of a place. Didn't anyone here even remotely know the fine art of keeping themselves sparklingly spotless and grump-free?
"It sounds worse than it really is." Came his amiable reply. He thought for a moment. "I guess you just kind of…get used to it."
"Get used to it? That is definitely not the most helpful of comments." Qing snapped as she squinted around at her darkened room, a feeling of dread rising in the pit of her stomach. Nothing moved, but one could never be too safe. Besides, how was she supposed to go back to sleep when he said something like that? What if one of them was waiting under her bed?
She shuddered. Monk Boy and his merry men might be accustomed to night attacks, but she so wasn't. Great, first with the nightmare and the pain, and now this. Conducive to sleepiness much? She glanced over at Hakkai, remembering his comforting presence. Well, he was going to have to do, then. It wasn't much, but it was something.
"Miss Qing—?" Hakkai yelped as she suddenly grabbed him by the front of his nightshirt and yanked him downwards.
"There's no way in hell I'm going to sleep alone tonight," she barked, casting a fearful glance around the dark room, expecting a butt-ugly demon to jump out at them any moment. "So you're sleeping with me."
What? He thought. "What?"
"What if those demon thingies decide to come for me later when you leave?" she demanded as she let go of him, scooting over on the bed to make space for him. To hell with the guys-must-sleep-apart-from-girls crap. Her life was in danger here, and between that particularly vivid nightmare that had wrapped up so beautifully with a splitting migraine and the looming threat of a demon attack, she was seriously wigging. She didn't even bother to register that she looked like a total mess in front of a guy, something that, if she had been in her right frame of mind, would have mortified her to no end.
"But I can't—what about—"
"Look," she said, exhaling loudly and immediately regretting the action, because it seemed to make the headache worse. "You're the only one I can trust who won't kick me, try to kill me, or have sex with me in my sleep, okay? It's not like I can go out and ask any other guy down the hall or something, considering I'm possibly the most beautiful woman they'd ever laid their perverted and icky eyes on. And possibly the most hygienically-inclined, too. Besides, they make Gojyo look like a nun."
She paused when she realized she was babbling; her tough-as-nails act falling away for a brief moment as she rubbed her upper arms, trying to dispel a chill.
When Hakkai said nothing and simply stared at her—Is there any other woman in the entire world who can be as self-adulated as she is? Of course, her statement was not exactly untrue, but once again, he marveled at her blatant lack of humility—she continued, and this time her tone was slightly hesitant. "And I don't want to be sleeping alone tonight."
What she had refused to say was that once again, that particular nightmare left her afraid and in need of company. As a general rule, Qing hated being a damsel in distress unless she wanted something from the guy who was doing the 'rescuing', but in this world, it seemed like it was all she ever was. It would've sorely grated on her nerves if she currently had control of all of her processes, but now she just needed the company.
And a bodyguard. For some inexplicable reason, she had found herself trusting Hakkai fully—she supposed it reflected in her behavior towards him, too, because he was the only one in the group she didn't bother to insult.
Not very much, anyway.
On his end, he was hesitating. He hadn't slept with a woman since…since Kanan, and now that he was faced with this situation, it was nothing short of being extremely awkward. Especially since he noted that particular flicker of vulnerability in her eyes.
The nightmare must've affected her more than she'd let on, he realized.
She glared at him, patting the sheets impatiently. "Are you getting in or not? My REM cycle's already disturbed enough. If I don't sleep soon, I'm going to have eyebags the size of Goku's stomach in the morning."
"Miss Qing, I just—"
She took his hand and tugged him down sharply so that he stumbled on the bed. "Oh please, stop being such a wimp. I'm not going to jump you or anything."
Hesitantly, he laid down on top of the sheets, careful to keep a little distance away from her. The memories of Kanan, of simply sleeping by her side, waking up and taking in every bit of her beautiful face came back to him. It had been a good few years now, and the memories—the wounds—still didn't seem to fade.
Neither did the pain.
Closing his eyes, he briefly wondered why the memories of Kanan had come back to haunt him with an increased ferocity these past couple of days. He would see her face and her breathtaking smile in his sleep, hear that lovely voice he had missed with a heartbreaking intensity…
…and he would see her die once again.
Kanan, he thought with a sigh. He had dreamt of her a thousand times ever since her death and the destruction of Hyakuganmaou's kingdom. And every single time, he had saved her, and they had lived happily ever after.
It was the hardest thing to bear, the thought that he had been so close, and yet had never been farther. He—
"Are you a virgin or something?" Came Qing's sudden question.
Hakkai blinked, jolted out of his thoughts and taken completely by surprise at that abrupt and totally unexpected question. "I beg your pardon?"
She shifted in her bed to look at where he lay stiffly beside her, as if afraid to even feel her presence. "You look like you're wigging. Are you a virgin?"
"Uh—no. I'm not." Gojyo was right, she was definitely an unpredictable one all right. "Why do you ask?"
She lay back down, turning her back on him. Clearly, she was not interested in answering his question, and was far more absorbed in asking some of her own. "Let me guess. Traumatic relationship issues with the ex?"
Hakkai was silent for a long moment, unable to answer. Finally, he spoke. "How did you know?"
"Intuition. It's not a guy power."
He was silent. Intuition's not a guy power, huh? Was that why he could not feel Kanan's fear on that fateful day? It still plagued him, the thought that he couldn't have sensed that she was in danger even though it was obvious that they were soulmates. Was it as simple as what Qing had said? Maybe men did not have the kind of intuitive power that women had. But what consolation was that to him? The fact remained that Kanan was gone, and it was all his fault for not being there to protect her.
Maybe his dreams had been affecting him more than he'd expected, too. He had not had these kinds of thoughts for a long while now, not since the appearance of the mysterious fortune-teller that seemed to have it in for him.
Although she was generally insensitive at the best of times and plain rude at the worst, Qing knew when it was time to leave things alone. Maybe, she thought, that's the reason why his eyes look so sad all the time, even when he's laughing.
"You know," she said suddenly. "I never expected that you, of all people, are the first guy I've ever slept with in my life."
He didn't know whether to be complimented or insulted at that. "You're still a virgin?"
"Well duh. As if I want to do it with any of the guys back home. They're the embodiment of infantile." She rolled her eyes. There were a couple of memorable ones she was still trying her darndest to forget. "I mean, all they could ever think of was sex and football and brainless guy stuff. How sophisticated is that?" She was starting to ramble. Honestly, with her around, there was never such a thing as an awkward silence. "And the occasional time I get a good catch, they're mostly mind-numbingly boring. I mean, there is only so much you can go on about your stock portfolio before I start to fall asleep in my wine or something. How about you?"
"How about me what?"
"What was your ex like? I mean, you loved her a lot, didn't you?"
"It's getting late, Miss Qing," he said gently; his tone betraying none of the immense sadness he was feeling. He was not ready to share, not yet. And, he supposed, not anytime in the near future. The pain was just too raw.
She huffed. "Well I'd like—"
"Good night, Miss Qing."
"Oh all right. 'Night, Hakkai. Don't fall off the bed or anything. And try not to hog the covers if you're feeling cold; I like being warm."
"Of course."
There was another silence even as Hakkai stared up at the ceiling, unable to get to sleep. It was something that he had not told her. Unlike the others who had gone back to sleep, he had found that almost impossible—he had been afraid that the dreams of Kanan and her death would plague him as it did long ago, and so he stayed up and simply…well, brooded. Maybe that was why he heard her screaming all too clearly.
The cessation of sound in the room didn't last long, however. It should be noted that whenever Qing was around and not asleep, total silence for any stretch of time belonged to the exceedingly rare category.
"Hakkai?"
"Yes?" he asked warily. Was she about to prod him about his relationship issues again?
There was a short pause. "Thank you."
He blinked. Once again, she surprised him with her words. Then he smiled slightly. "You're welcome. Sweet dreams."
"At this point I'm just hoping for a sweet, dream-free sleep."
"Me, too."
Kanan, his mind sighed. It was hours before he allowed himself to fall asleep. And when he slept, he dreamt of her once again.
…
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
But you still have all of me…
…
Darkjade: LOL, I'm sorry I couldn't send you this finished copy for reading, but hey. Remember that lobster and the makeover thingy? And that cage and handcuffs thing we talked about yesterday. Oh that's going to keep me in stitches for the entire day. One can never be too hentai, I tell you. Especially when it comes to you-know-who. Cheers, man!
Somnambulist: Hello! Thanks for your generous compliments!
Georgia: Of course not, girl! Thanks for reading and reviewing my story!