A/N: I'm trying to get through the chapters I have written quickly so that I can get some feedback from you lovelies to see where you would like this to go. I am really thankful for the reviews! They make me happy. Sorry to those of you who read this on my other penname, I should be getting to new stuff shortly )

Chapter Two: Letters

Lily had shut herself up in her room as soon as she got home. She missed Hogwarts already. The wizarding world would always be her home, not this place. Summer holidays were the worst for Lily Evans. She hated being home and in the presence of her darling sister, Petunia. Yeah right, darling.

Lily sprawled on her bed and thought of the events of the night before. She wasn't a virgin anymore. Lily had always told herself she'd save her virginity for the right person. She just never knew it would be James Potter. James Potter. Thinking about just his name made her shiver. Lily lost herself in dreaming of James Potter.

Of course, she hadn't always thought this way.

Flashback---

"Hey there, Evans." A fifth year James slipped his hands around her waist.

"Oh, hi James." Lily said, seething inside. She decided to play with him though and leaned back against him. "What's up?"

A shocked James stuttered, "Well, I was just wondering if you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

"Let me think about it." Lily bit her lip and looked up at James. "I don't think so." She drove her elbow into his stomach and walked off haughtily. She could hear the echoes of Sirius Black's laughter following her.

His arms had felt good.

End Flashback---

Well, Lily thought. Maybe he had always had a certain effect on me. Like driving me nuts.

Flashback---

Lily was sitting on the Hogwarts Express, waiting for the train to carry her to her sixth year at Hogwarts. She was reading a book when the compartment door opened and in walked the infamous Marauders.

"Hello, Remus." She greeted warmly. "How was your summer?"

Remus grinned. "It was fine, Lily. Yours?"

"Oh it was good." Lily leaned in and whispered conspiratorially at Remus. "It was lacking a certain James Potter." Lily had spoken loud enough for the whole world to hear if they had wanted to. When Lily looked up at James she found him surprisingly chatting with Sirius, apparently unaffected. Lily pouted.

"I see." Was all Remus said. Lily shrugged. She didn't care if he was disappointed in her.

Lily got up and sat next to James. "What's up?"

"Nothing, Evans." James had shrugged her off. The nerve of him!

"Hmph." Lily stood up and twirled around. "Do you like my outfit?" She was wearing a skin tight tank top that barely covered her cleavage and tight bell bottom jeans. She could see Sirius gaping at her.

James only glanced up. "It's fine."

"I hate you, James Potter." Lily stalked out of the compartment. "Remus, we have to do rounds soon."

"Right."

End Flashback---

Huh. So, now that I think about it, I might have been trying to come on to James. And he ignored me. Lily sat up indignantly. The nerve of him. I'll write him an owl right now. Maybe he has an explanation.

Before Lily knew it she was furious with James for acting so coldly to her. But wait, hadn't he just had sex with her. Oh, Lily thought. She was getting carried away with herself. She still decided to write him a letter.

Dear James,

Hi! How's it going? Sorry, that sounded dumb. I don't really know what to write. But, we haven't really talked since last night. This morning was kind of hectic what with packing and all. I guess what I'm saying is, is that I want to talk to you. I want to see you again, James. Is that possible? Write me back.

Love,

Lily

After Lily's owl had already left to deliver the letter she wondered if she should have written that thing at the end. She certainly didn't love him. Did she? Of course not. Love was something that grew between two people who had known each other forever.

I have known him forever.

But most of that time you hated him!

But I know everything about him. He's smart and sexy and kind and sexy and cute and sexy and he has the most gorgeous body. Did I mention he's sexy?

Right, that's love right there.

Lily threw her hands up and decided to write James another letter.

Dear Potter,

Honestly, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I don't love you. I don't know why I wrote that. Sorry.

Sincerely,

Evans.

That should do it, Lily smiled. Certainly no confusing statements there. Lily sat down on her bed and picked up a book, Quidditch Through the Ages. She had decided to read it so maybe she and James could have something to talk about.

She opened up to the page about the rules. "The following rules were set down the by the Department of Magical Games and Sports upon it's formation in 1750: 1. Though there is no limited imposed on the height to which a player may rise during the game, he or she must not stray over the boundary lines of the pitch. Should a player fly over the boundary, his or her team must surrender the Quaffle to the opposing team."

Lily spoke to no one in particular, "Do you think they can tell when they're so high up in the air?" Lily went back to reading, this was such an interesting book.

"6. Wands may be taken on to the pitch but must under no circumstances whatsoever be used against opposing team members, any opposing team member's broom, the referee, any of the balls, or any member of the crowd."

"Well, what's the point of them? James says the Slytherins never bother with these rules anyways." Lily shook her head and kept on reading.

After a short while Lily looked up from her book. It was getting dark outside. Several hours must have passed. She wondered why she hadn't received a response from James. "Oh no. I wrote I didn't love him!" Lily looked around frantically for another piece of parchment.

Dearest James,

Please don't take my last letter into consideration at all. I didn't mean to write that I don't love you. That's not true at all. It seems so cold-hearted. Of course I love you, but you know, maybe not like that? Not yet at least. Forgive me? James, I really want to talk to you. If I keep writing letters I'm going to go insane.

Tenderly,

Lily

"That should do it." Lily nodded.

"What should?"

Lily whirled around to see her sister Petunia staring at her. "None of your business."

"Writing one of your freaky friends, eh?" Petunia glared. "Vernon is coming over. Maybe you could try and act normal for once."

"Only if you do, dear Petunia." Lily's smile was acid. Vernon was the most annoying man ever. She couldn't stand how he would leer at her behind Petunia's back. What a wicked, vile man.

"Whatever, dinner is in ten minutes. Make yourself look decent." Petunia shot as she walked out the door.

Lily looked at herself in the mirror. She did look rather disheveled. Lily glanced at the clock and saw that she had been moping about her room for three hours. Oh geeze. Lily changed out of her robes and into jeans and a t-shirt. She looked pleadingly out the window for an owl to bring her a letter before she resigned herself to going to dinner with the family. Where are you James?

James Potter had woken up that morning with a very pleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew it was because of his newfound relationship with Lily Evans. He got up quietly and went to take a shower. He didn't want to wake her up. She looked so peaceful.

James stood in the shower for a long time thinking about Lily. He still didn't know if they were dating or not. He didn't want to pressure Lily. He wanted to go out with her more than anything, he had since he first saw her.

Flashback---

James was standing apprehensively in the Great Hall. He was about to get sorted into a house. He really hoped it was Gryffindor. Beside him was his new friend, Sirius Black, who already had been sorted into Gryffindor.

"Evans, Lily." McGonagall called.

James was looking at the floor trying to calm his breathing when Sirius nudged him in the side. "Whoa, mate. Look at this one."

James lifted his head and looked at the red haired girl sitting on the stool. Suddenly the hat shouted, "Gryffindor!" Lily, James thought her name was, ran to the Gryffindor table beaming from ear to ear.

"Sirius, do you think she'll go out with me?" James breathed out.

"I don't know, James. That one looks a little different from the other girls." Sirius flashed a smile at the girl next to him who blushed profusely.

"Yeah. I think I'll marry her." James nodded.

Sirius burst out laughing. Of course this elicited a disapproving glare from McGonagall who called out, "Potter, James."

James gulped nervously and walked up to the stool and sat down. I hope I get Gryffindor, he thought before the hat went down over his head. James sat there for what seemed like forever before the hat called out, "Gryffindor!"

James grinned and ran over to sit by Sirius, who coincidentally was sitting across from Lily. When the feast had started, James got brave and asked, "Hey, Lily, do you want to go out?"

Lily looked up from her food, started. She quickly recovered and replied, "Who said you could call me Lily?" Lily turned to talk to the girl next to her, ignoring James.

James shoved Sirius who was laughing hysterically. "I'll get you yet, Lily Evans."

End Flashback---

James returned to his bed to find Lily gone. She must have gone to get packed. They were leaving today, after all. James hadn't thought anything of it.

James sat in a compartment with the other three Marauders, having a great time. They were reminiscing over the pranks they had pulled this past year. Of course, Sirius was insisting that they start planning for seventh year pranks, already. James couldn't stop thinking about Lily, though. He still hadn't seen her.

"What's wrong, Prongs?" Sirius asked. His moping attitude had finally gotten to Sirius. "We should be celebrating. School is out for two months!"

"Yeah." James shrugged.

"Padfoot, I think our good mate here is suffering from a severe case of Evanitis." Remus smiled knowingly.

"Hey, James, you never told us what happened last night." Peter piped up.

"Shut up, Wormtail." James grated. "If I wanted you to know Lily and I had sex, I would have told you."

"So, you did have sex?" Sirius grinned. "I think this takes some major explaining. How did you get Evans to like you so quickly?"

"I didn't. Don't you recall she's the one who asked me for it?" James shook his head. "Do you think she's always liked me?" James addressed Remus.

"It could be." Remus' eyes were twinkling.

"Do you know something, Remus?" James asked. "You two have been friends since fifth year when you were prefects together."

"Look, James. I can't really tell you anything. All I know is that you and Lily have always had a special relationship. Don't tell me you didn't know that? She did try to come on to you at the beginning of this year."

"She did?"

"Oh, James. You are so thick." Remus shook his head and pulled a book. "I am not helping you out with this."

James sat in silence, mulling over his conversation with Remus the rest of the train ride.

James sat at home reading through several Quidditch magazines. It had been a few hours since he'd said goodbye to Remus and Peter. Of course he could never get rid of Sirius, since he had moved in the summer before. Sirius didn't have a good relationship with his family, the Blacks, who were notorious Death Eaters. However, Sirius was upstairs entertaining a lady friend.

James grunted and looked back down at his magazine. Of course, he was thinking about Lily rather than paying attention to the words he was reading. He heard an owl tapping at the window. "Who's sending me a letter?" James wondered aloud and let the owl in. He patted the owl and took the letter and sat down eagerly to read it. James grinned when he saw it was from Lily.

"Dear James, Hi! How's it going? Sorry, that sounded dumb. I don't really know what to write. But, we haven't really talked since last night. This morning was kind of hectic what with packing and all. I guess what I'm saying is, is that I want to talk to you. I want to see you again, James. Is that possible? Write me back. Love, Lily"

James smiled to himself. So, she wasn't mad at him for leaving her this morning. Good. James sat down and began to compose a return letter. "Dear Lily, Of course I want to talk to you too. Let's meet tonight." James was about to write some more when he noticed how she had ended the letter. "Love, Lily."

Does she love me?

James stood up and began to pace.

She can't. She hates me. James grinned recalling last night. Well, I don't suppose she hates me now. But how could she love me? I know I love her. I always have. I'm going to marry that girl.

James bellowed for Sirius to come down.

"What?" Sirius Black descended the stairs.

"Does Lily love me?" James asked honestly. Maybe Sirius would know.

"Of course she does, mate. She'd have to if she let you touch her." Sirius smirked and dodged the pillow that flew at him. "Is that all you wanted?"

"Yeah. Go back to your snogging." James shook his head.

"Will do." Sirius raced back upstairs.

James was about to sit down and continue writing his letter when the same owl appeared with another letter. James grinned happily and read it, "Dear Potter, Honestly. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I don't love you. I don't know why I wrote that. Sorry. Sincerely, Evans."

James dropped the letter. That phrase ran through his mind.

I don't love you.

James sat down dejectedly and stared at the fallen letter. I could be taking this out of context. She might have gotten nervous. She doesn't want to rush into anything so soon.

Oh, give over. She hates you.

She does not.

She does. You're back to a last name basis. Face it, Potter, you lost her.

Stop arguing with me.

James yelled at Sirius again.

Sirius took his sweet time coming down the stairs. "What, Prongs?" He was quite disgruntled.

"Lily wrote again." James simply said.

"Oh, and what has the light of the world said now?"

"She doesn't love me. She wrote it. 'I don't love you.' Sirius, get dressed, we're going to get drunk." James turned away from his friend.

Sirius sighed. "Alright, mate."

James sat dejectedly at the bar, downing another bottle of Firewhiskey.

"Hey there." He heard a voice say behind him.

James turned around to see Sasha. "What are you doing here?" James slurred.

"Looking for a good time. A quick snog. That's all, James." Sasha smiled and slipped beside him. "How about it?"

"No." James took another swig. Sasha got up to leave. "Wait. Alright, let's do it." James took her hand and led her into the back area and slid into a booth. Sasha slid into his lap, sliding her hands up his chest to tangle in his hair. She crushed her lips down on his. James sat back and let her go at it. Of course he responded to her advances, but he didn't take any initiative. James let her kiss him, she wasn't that bad, but she was no Lily. Lily had amazing lips. So supple and natural. Sasha felt a little slimy. Maybe that's because she's two-timing her best friend.

Before James knew it she had unbuttoned his trousers and slid a hand in to caress him. "Sasha, what is going on?"

Sasha pouted a little. "I want to make you happy, James. I would do anything for you." Sasha pushed her mouth against his to stifle his response. Her hands were doing all kinds of wonderful things to him. James quickly felt his erection pressing against his pants. Too bad they were in a public place. But Sasha didn't seem to mind. She was deftly giving him a hand job.

"Lily." James whispered as he came.

"Bastard." Sasha said and turned to leave.

"Wait." James grabbed her hand. "You won't tell her, will you?"

Sasha grinned. "Oh, James. I won't tell her. If you go out with me."

"What?"

"You heard me, James." Sasha trailed a finger down his cheek. "Don't you think I'm attractive?"

"Of course I do, but, I'm with Lily…"

"Are you really? Then why are you here getting drunk alone?"

"She doesn't love me." James alcohol muddled brain was getting confused.

"Then I guess you aren't going out. Are you?" Sasha licked his ear.

"I suppose not." James blinked. "Are we going out, Sasha?" James was thoroughly confused.

"Yes, James, we are." Sasha grinned triumphantly.

"Alright." James began kissing her earnestly now. She wasn't so bad.

James and Sirius had come home early the next morning. James hadn't told Sirius what had happened. Sasha had written down on his hand that they were dating so he wouldn't forget. Sirius had pretended not to notice his best friend was making out with a girl not Lily.

Too soon, Sirius thought. He went to bed and left James to his own thoughts.

James woke up the next day around noon. He had a horrible headache.

Serves you right.

Shut up.

James got up and got ready for the day, trying to clear his head. What happened last night? James looked down at his hand and saw Sasha's handwriting. Oh no. This can't be happening. James cringed and tried desperately to remember what had happened. He remembered seeing her, maybe making out a little, but he couldn't recall asking her out. I must have, though. What will I tell Lily?

Why would she care? She doesn't love you.

Too true.

James sighed and went downstairs for breakfast. Or lunch, rather. He saw a letter for him lying on the table. It was from Lily. James groaned and picked it up. "Dearest James, Please don't take my last letter into consideration at all. I didn't mean to write that I don't love you. That's not true at all. It seems so cold-hearted. Of course I love you, but you know, maybe not like that? Not yet at least. Forgive me? James, I really want to talk to you. If I keep writing letters I'm going to go insane. Tenderly, Lily"

"She loves me?" James whispered. "Or at least she will. She said 'not yet' like she was planning to sometime in the future. I have to talk to her!" James rushed to eat something and started to leave before catching himself.

Sasha.

What have I done?

Quotes come from Quidditch Through the Ages. J.K. Rowling. Written for Comic Relief. You should get it! Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is really amusing with the commentaries written in by "Harry" and "Ron."

A/N: Hope you still like it! Don't hate James... He's just a confused individual... and sexy, did I mention sexy? P