A/N: Same as the first chappie. Also, I've decided that if need be I will not take events from HBP and use them in the story if my ideas and HBP clash, so if I write something that didn't really happen...don't yell! And thank you to my one reviewer :-) 33

Disclaimer: I don't own it...If I did...let's not think about that. I might get ideas..

Finding Hope Again

Chapter Two: And the World Spins

Everything was gray. That's what it was always like in muggle London during the horridly frigid winter. Gray was nothing and everything at once. It was just a reminder of the resemblance the cold had to twenty-one-year-old Ginny's life now - a gray oblivion without a chance that any other color would be able to shine through again. Everything about her was gray now, and she despised it. Her hair was dull and greasy because she had not showered in such a long time, her skin was an ashen gray because of her living conditions, and her soul had turned gray, not that anyone could see it, but she knew that there was nothing vibrant left to it. She longed for color, but knew that spring would be just another era of grayness, and that her heart would never return to a vibrant red again.

It had been about a month now since she went to the clinic and received the flu shot. They told her that the flu would heal on its own with some good rest and Vitamin C, but Ginny did not have the funds to stay in a warm room or buy orange juice. She told them, and the understood. The nurse gave her a jug of orange juice and offered Ginny a bed in a room in the back of the clinic where they sometimes allowed sick homeless women, men, and children stay. She said that Ginny could stay for two days because the bed was often needed for others who were in worse condition than Ginny. Ginny graciously accepted the offer, but felt bad that she could not repay them. She held the nurses and doctors with the utmost appreciation she could muster and gave them her undying gratitude. While at the clinic, she had the option to take a shower, which was the first thing she did.

She walked down an alleyway, just to walk and try and clear her mind. The splitting pain of losing everything never left, but she knew that remembering wouldn't do her any worse. In fear of becoming so completely empty, she did all she could do. She filled herself with memories from day to day. There had been so many days that she had lost count. It must have been three years since she last saw Draco by now, but time made no difference. Whoever said that time heals everything could never have been more wrong.

She kept walking into the gray abyss. It never seemed to end. Gray was a horrid color, she knew so, for gray was nothing and he always said...

What did he say?

"Nothing. He said nothing." Her voice rang out into the fogged and dirty air. She knew the voice she responded to came from within, and it never left her alone when she let her mind wander.

He said everything you wanted him too, everything you ever needed to hear, didn't he?

"He didn't say anything."

Yes he did, and you know he did. He told you lies.

"I don't remember. He never told me anything. Go away!" she screamed.

Yes you do, foolish girl. You remember everything he said.

"No, no I don't."

He told you that you were beautiful.

"No."

He said he's be there for you always.

"No, no you're lying."

He told you to run.

"STOPཀ" she screamed into the damp pathway. Her breathing was labored, but the voice seemed to stop. Relishing the time she had now that the voice was gone, she began to walk again, only to find that the voice did not truly go away.

I'm not the one that lies Ginny.

"I don't know," Ginny responded warily. She had a feeling about where the voice was going, but she was in no state of mind to relive this demon.

You remember when he told you, don't you? You remember how he lied.

A silence befell Ginny and she could not hear anything. Her ears rang and the sensation wouldn't leave her, but she knew that she couldn't do anything. She was weak and helpless now, and she certainly wasn't the Ginny she had been so long ago. In fact, one wouldn't even think they were born the same person to begin with. She continued walking. Her foot steps echoed of the brick walls as the snow crunched beneath her feet. She found the sound comforting, just like him. Whenever she was in his arms, she knew that there was always hope.

It was a normal day at Draco's flat in Bath. Snape brought them food for the month and they thought nothing could go wrong. So far their hiding had worked beautifully and not one Death Eater knew that they still existed. They had each other and that was all that mattered.

On that particular day though, it seemed as though their beautiful world would be snapped into two pieces. Everything would fall apart, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Snape walked through the secret cellar door and rushed to the couple that was talking over a cup of coffee. He felt bad to reduce their smiles into nothing short of frowns. His rushed footsteps quickly won the attention of the two. He stood for a moment, doubled over and out of breath.

"What is it Severus?" asked Draco, worried because the rushing ex-professor had a look of pure fear on his face - something very unlikely to find in the years Draco had known him.

"I - I - Here. They're here. They've found you. You have to hide," he forced out, still trying to catch his breath. He had run two miles to tell them to hide, but still feared there wouldn't be anytime to escape.

Ginny was stunned. The location was supposed to kept secret. How did they find out? These questions clouded her mind and tears seeped out from beneath her closed eyes. Snape must have been lying to them; surly the Death Eaters weren't coming. This was all some kind of cruel joke he had decided to play on them. She looked up at Draco, but found little comfort. She had never seen her lover so rattled before. Draco grabbed her hand and pulled her into a cellar that she hadn't noticed in the time she had been there.

"Gin," he said in a stern voice that was laced with sadness and concern, " you need to run. This is an underground path way that will lead you to Pansy's."

"But isn't Pansy a Death Eater?"

"No she's not. Just goཀ" He pulled her up momentarily and planted one last passion-filled kiss on her sweet delicate lips. He wished that he didn't have to leave her, but it was the only way she would stay safe. Ginny kissed back with the same passion he had, but soon they could taste each other's tears on their lips and pulled away.

"Goodbye Ginny. If we don't see each other again, just know that I will always love you." As Draco said this, tears began to pour down Ginny's cheeks as if her eyes were built in waterfalls.

"Draco, please don't say that. We will be together again." As she said this, Draco closed the cellar door. She heard him muttering spells to seal the door as she pounded her fists on the wooden blockade in protest.

"Draco, let me outཀ" she screamed. "Please Dracoཀ" she paused for a moment. "I love you Draco, and I will never stop loving you." Then, she heard a soft, almost faint reply.

"I love you too Ginny. Just please, run. I will always be with you." The last thing she heard before she ran were the screams of spells from Draco and Snape. She hoped they would be okay.

Her sullen eyes unleashed even more bitter droplets. Putting faith in her wobbly legs, she ran as fast as she could, wishing that she would never have to leave him behind. She knew that he would come to her though, he said he would always be with her.

As she traveled further down the tunnel, she concentrated on anything that wouldn't disturb her. It was more important to have a cool mind in a situation like this than to fret over anything. Draco taught her how to protect herself and how to stay calm - something she had trouble learning.

The very narrow pathway was dark and humid. The ground was constantly wet, and it felt like running in mud. About two people would be able to comfortably squeeze in side by side, and the ceiling was fairly high. As she progressed on her journey, the stench in the pathway made her nauseous, but she moved on, ignoring the dull ache in her thighs and calves. Out-of-breath and determined, she plowed her way to Pansy's. Her mind had no control over her legs now; she just kept on running like there was no tomorrow. Her muscles yearned for a rest and her lungs screamed for air, but her safety was at the top of her list, and she knew she couldn't stop for anything.

After another ten minutes, she could faintly see a dim light ahead of her, but she wasn't sure if she was imagining it or not. She had been feeling dizzy and needed to re-hydrate as soon as she could. Maybe the was a figment of her imagination. No, it couldn't be- it was too real. Everything was just too real right now for her to handle. Everything she and Draco had feared was happening, and there was no avoiding it. Everything that could wreck her life with Draco suddenly became an issue, and she wished that she never had to leave his loving embrace.

The light was closer now. She knew that the end of the tunnel would come soon, but she did not let up her speed. Through the pain she kept going. Tears spilled from her eyes as the light was clearly visible, and she wanted to bask in the comfort it brought her. Seeing the light was a little sign to Ginny that she would never be left completely in the dark, but she had no idea how dark her life could be. At the moment she just grieved over having to leave Draco behind. She had no clue how long she would be without him.

At last, there was no where left to go. A slimy moss-covered stone wall blocked her from moving any further down the tunnel. Realizing she could clearly see all that was around her, she looked up to the light that spilled out from the cracks in a wooden board. It was a beautiful thing, the light was. She banged on the wood that was blocking her from the rest of the it. She needed more of the light, the dark was getting to her and she felt like the light would bring Draco to her, but the lies she fed to herself would soon be proven wrong.

After a while of waiting, the door opened. Her eyes shone like they had never seen the light of day, but Ginny was more concerned with where the love of her life was.

"Where's Draco? Where's Draco?" She began to mutter, half hysterical. All she needed was him and everything would be okay. She couldn't help but listen to the nagging though at the back of her mind that told her he was dead. Before she knew what was happening she grew very dizzy.

"Neville, quickཀ We have a visitor." yelled a feminine voice from her right. She heard footsteps moving towards her, but did not care. She could not breath right, and the nausea returned. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and someone talking to her. It was the girl. She kept asking her questions, but Ginny found she could not answer.

Then, her world went into oblivion.

He saved her from the Death Eaters that came to destroy them. It would have been different if he wasn't one, but he was. He had told her that he was not a Death Eater, but it was all a lie, as she later found out. He had lied to her, and that was the only thing that he did that momentarily crushed her, and nearly their relationship, but later he had explained.

He explained that she was hysterical and was bound to give lead to someone where his hiding place was. If she didn't get killed in the process of running from him, she was bound to eventually. Months later, when Snape stopped by, she freaked out, knowing that Snape was a Death Eater, but not just any Death Eater. He was the Death Eater that killed her beloved Professor Dumbledore. He knew from what she told him that she did not know the whole story.

After the visit, he told her everything. He told her about his mission to kill Dumbledore, and how he could not complete it. He told her about how Snape had to help him because of a promise he made to Narcissa. He then told her how they both worked for the Light, and that the incident was something Dumbledore knew was going to happen. Dumbledore was never afraid of death, and he did not die in vain, but he did convince Draco that being on the Light side was for the best. He told her about the spying that he and Snape did for the Order, and how they had nearly been caught many times, but proved their loyalty by killing - something Draco regretted with all of his being.

When he finished, Ginny simply let tears flow from her face. She kissed him on the cheek and went to bed. She could not believe what he told her, but then again all of her memories from Hogwarts rushed to her. She remember how the Trio always thought he was because of his father. She remembered all the grief he caused her family. She remembered all of the bad he had done before, and she began to hate him for it.

She kept walking, pushing the memory down into the confines of her mind, where she could never reach it again. She hated the thought that she left him. She could have stayed. Being dead would have been better than living now, she thought. She hated the fact that she had left him when he would always be there for her, but she knew that he wouldn't have it any other way. That's how she knew he loved her, even though she would never let herself remember being so in love. She would just watch and relive the memories in disbelief, oblivious to feeling anything she would have years ago.

See, he loved you. The voice returned, interrupting her dismal thoughts.

"No he didn't," she replied. She would not let the voice weaken her anymore than she already was.

Yes he did. Who knows where you'd be now without him.

"He didn't love me..."

Give me one reason why he didn't love you.

"He left me. He left me. He doesn't love me because he left me."

He made you leave because he loved you, he never left you.

She was silent as she pondered what the voice told her. Maybe it would help to agree for once; maybe it would ease the never-ending burn in her heart.

"You're right," she whispered back to the voice in her head that had haunted her for the past three years.

I know.

"I still love him," she said as she sat down in a corner of a new alley that she had found on her walk.

I know, and he is still with you.

"I need him." She could not stand the emotion she was feeling at the moment. Everything she used to feel - everything she had blocked out for so long was rushing back, and the experience was everything but happy. Her eyes burned as she held back tears.

I know.

"How do I get him back?" She asked the question that had haunted her for years. No matter how many times she asked it, the voice never responded.

Hunger began to gnaw away at her senses, even though she couldn't feel much. With the hunger came sadness. She didn't like sadness, but she welcomed it with open arms. Sadness reminded her she could feel, but at the moment, she wanted to become numb again. She felt the love she had hidden deep inside of her for so long. It was resurfacing, and with it resurfaced so much more - more than she could ever want. The emotion was so strong, it was as though it gave her strength- the strength to find him.

The sun was now at it's fullest peak. Though it wasn't giving much heat, it was making the snow melt. How much longer would winter last? She asked herself. It certainly had gone on for much too long. She wasn't sure she could survive it any longer. The coldness always made things worse on her, but she had never wondered when it would end. Things were beginning to change and she didn't know why. Ever since she gave into the voice, she began to ask more questions and find more answers.

She was now walking down the slush covered sidewalks of muggle London. People wouldn't look and stare at her because she had managed to give off a threatening aura to those who would think of pitying her. Pity was for the weak, and in honor of Draco, she vowed to never show others how weak she really was. It was something that he would have done himself. Besides, if she was truly weak, she would be dead by now. Other than the occasional line of cars, the street was silent. Usually, the bustle of people caused a ruckus, but today, everyone seemed to be gone.

She didn't see the Purple Lady today. The Purple Lady wore absolutely no other color than purple. By daily speculation, she was sure the lady even wore purple knickers. The Lady would usually smile and wave to Ginny, like she was a regular person who wasn't living on the streets. The Purple Lady was the closest thing she had to an acquaintance, even though they had never exchanged any words. Wondering where everyone was, she began to wander around in search of the usual crowd. In the distance, she could faintly hear the sound of a song. Letting her senses take over her, she walked in the direction of the hypnotizing music.

On her way to the source of the music, she literally bumped into the Purple Lady. After apologizing profusely and listening to the Lady's assurance that it was okay, they introduced themselves.

"Well lass, I believe you should know my name! You've nothing to call me, and we've seen each other enough that we ought to know these kinds of things," said the Purple Lady in a warm and rich Irish accent. "I'm Maggie, and it's a pleasure to finally meet you," she said while holding out her hand.

"I'm Ginny," the girl said quietly and timidly grabbed Maggie's hand in return.

"Ginny!" Maggie exclaimed, "what a beautiful name."

"Thank you," Ginny replied.

"Yes, my dear, you're very welcome. I was just on my way over to Hyde park to hear this new local band that's playin' today. Would you enjoy accompanyin' me?" Maggie asked with a smile.

"Actually, that's just where I was going, so yes. I'll go with you," Ginny replied. Maggie's sudden interest in her was making her nervous.

Maggie grabbed her hand and strolled on towards the band. Ginny was surprised that Maggie treated her like a normal clean person. Ginny was well aware of how dirty she was, and how bad she must have smelled. In addition, she was afraid of infecting Maggie with whatever sickness Ginny seemed to have. She began to feel that it wasn't the flu.

She hadn't been in this part of town before. Even though she had lived on the streets long enough, she had never made it a goal to travel so far away. She gathered strength from the new experience and continued on her small journey towards the beautiful music. It reminded her that there was still beauty, even though she didn't always agree.

Once she and Maggie had arrived to hear the fullness of it, she reveled in its glory. It was hypnotizing and spectacular. She was drawn to it almost by some type of magic force. She shivered at the thought of magic being alive. Ever since she lost everything, she decided that magic no longer had a place in her heart, yet she still kept her wand burried in her clothing, but she wasn't exactly sure why because it was broken and useless.

She kept listening to the music. The singer's voice made such a rich sound. It was like a piece of Madame Pomfrey's chocolate after some kind of accident back at Hogwarts. A deep, sweet melody was emitted from the instruments that were so articulately played. It was like magic, and that made her hate it.

The band was perfect for a cold winter day. Ginny basked in this experience and got a good look at the lead singer. He reminded her so much of someone she knew. She sat on the park bench with Maggie, not minding that it was freezing cold. Every time the wind blew, the temperature significantly lowered, but it was though the music kept her from feeling the harsh winter. It was an amazing feeling, and she was grateful for it. It gave her a warmth that she thought was so long gone, never to return again. The song ended and the singer took a small break before going on.

"M-Maggie?" Ginny slightly stuttered, "I think I know who the singer is, but I can't put my finger on it."

"That's such a coincidence Ginny dear," Maggie replied. "I hate when that happens. I usually spend hours racking my brain trying to remember when I'd seen that familiar face before!"

Ginny agreed and began to think of where she had seen him before. It took her a few minuted until she realized that he, the lead singer, had a strong resemblance to her ex-boyfriend, Matthew. She hadn't seen Matthew in such a long time though, so she kept quiet about it.

When he was ready to sing again, he held the microphone slightly below his chin, but in front of it. His voice rang out through the park. "This next song is a song we covered from a band called The Calling. The song's title is 'Wherever You Will Go'. It's a very special song to me, and it reminds me of an amazing girl that I still love." He motioned to his band and the music started again. Ginny was touched by the singer's unrequited love. At least, she figured that was his reasoning.

"So lately, been wondering, who will be there to take my place," he sang beautifully. His voice was lulling her into a world where everything was right- a world she would die to be in again.

"When I'm gone, you'll need love, to light the shadows on your face."

The song went on until she was brought out of her reverie at the end. It reminded her so much of how she felt about Draco, and how she was sure he felt about her. It gave her a sense of hope and despair at the same time. She felt as though she needed to be in Draco's embrace again, as if it was the only thing that could bring her out of this deep depression.

"I'll go wherever you will go," he finished beautifully. Then, to his shock, a lady's voice called out to him.

"Young man," she yelled to him, "that was an excellent song! You performed it very well." Her voice was heavy with a strong Irish accent. Then, Ginny realized it was Maggie. She began to think that Maggie was quite a character.

"Thank you, Miss," he replied, not knowing what to say. Out of all the numerous gigs the band had, he never had been complimented in such a way.

"Now, if you don't mind my asking," she paused for his response with her eyebrow raised.

"I guess I'll answer what you have to ask," he smirked slightly, praying that the woman wouldn't pry to much about the song. It was painful to remember her.

"Who is that girl that you've been missing?"she asked with an almost knowing smile playfully curling her lips.

"Well, Miss, we dated about four years ago. She was the most wonderful girl a guy could ever have. One day, she just disappeared..." he trailed off in thought, but quickly composed himself and continued. "She had snuck out of a family gathering to see me, and then the next day, her house wasn't even there. It was like she just...never existed," he trailed off.

"Hmm...," the lady said, "what did she look like? Maybe we could contact a missing-persons detective or something of that sort. I hate to think about lost love."

Ginny, now intrigued by the story that was so much like her own, was on full alert. She told herself over and over and over again that it wasn't anyone she knew, and it had nothing to do with her. She didn't even know anything about the man in the band, aside from looking somewhat familiar. The lady left the bench and Ginny and walked up to the stairs of the gazebo, making the conversation easier to carry out.

"What did she look like?" the lady asked. Now that she was closer to him, he wasn't using the microphone anymore. Ginny subtly moved closer to the gazebo, following Maggie, so that she was within ear-shot of their conversation. She shook her head in disbelief when she heard his response. It sounded so much like her.

"She had beautiful pale skin sprinkled with small freckles everywhere. She had amazing deep auburn hair and the brownest coffee-colored eyes flecked with gold."

"Do you know how tall she was? Tell me everything lad."

"I'm sorry, I can't remember...it's been so long," he replied. He didn't want to lie to the woman, but he was remembering too much, and it was causing more pain than he bargained for.

"Well, I know someone, well I don't actually know her, but she would help as a visual aid. She somewhat fits your description." As Maggie said this, Ginny slipped away into the crowd and ran.

"I suppose that it would be alright," he replied hesitantly. He wasn't sure what this strange woman's intentions were, but he didn't think it could hurt him.

"Well, I'll go get her. She may have heard your music and she could be right here!" The lady winked and in a flourish of her bright purple coat, she turned on her heel to leave, but was stopped.

"Thank you, um, well, I didn't exactly catch your name," he blurted out, hoping to catch her before she left.

"Oh, you can just call me Maggie. I don't like titles, they make me feel old," she laughed. "I live over in the King James flats over there," she motioned to her right down the street. "My number is 7. You can visit whenever you would like to."

"O.K., well, thank you, Maggie," he replied and let out a nervous chuckle, still completely befuddled by the older woman's actions.

"Oh, you're welcome. Now I'll be on my wayཀ I'll be back in about a half hour with or without the girlཀ"

Ginny watched as Maggie went back to the bench they sat on. She saw Maggie's confused look as she realized that Ginny left. Maggie soon left, walking quickly towards her flat.

This can't be happening, she told herself. It seemed so surreal. She wanted the Purple Lady, or Maggie as she recently found out her name, to find her, but at the same time, she knew that if she was found she would have to be with Matthew, something she couldn't and didn't want to do. Remembering his name brought back a memory she had long forgot until know. It was before everything had happened, before she lost her family.

Ginny had just escaped the family reunion and was on a nice long bike ride to see her muggle boyfriend, Matthew. She was in a very happy mood because she had escaped unnoticed, something that rarely happened ever since she started going out with Matthew. Her mother and father always kept an eye on her, afraid that he would find out about their lifestyle that was so different from his. He knew that she lived about a mile away from him, so he gave her his extra bike so she could come over more often. She told him that she wasn't allowed to have boys over her house in attempt to prevent him from seeing that she was definitely anything but a normal girl. The bike, of course, was a muggle object her father became completely obsessed with, causing him to give complete approval of this new boyfriend.

When she had found out that he knew where she lived, she almost fainted because she was embarrassed about him seeing The Burrow. It was a very shabby house compared to his. Apparently he had never see the actual Burrow though. Her parents had cast some small charms on the house to give the appearance of any normal muggle house in case someone happened to stumble upon their home. She thanked her parents graciously for that.

She arrived at his house and was greeted with a warm hug. She loved his hugs more than anything for some reason. He knew exactly how to hold her. She laid the bike down on the lush green grass and followed him into the tree-house they had declared their home. He helped her inside and as soon as they were out of sight and hidden in the tree-house, he pulled her into a deep kiss which she accepted happily. She loved kissing him because every time he brushed his lips against hers she felt as though she was the only one in the world. He was such a good kisser and he knew it.

Her tongue flicked out of her mouth and into his, searching the warm cavern and running her soft tongue over his teeth. He grabbed her tightly and pulled her into his embrace as he let his tongue glide into her mouth as she had done a little before. She let out a quiet moan as his cool hand found its way to the waist of her jeans and teased her by running his fingers along the edge. Ginny kept kissing him as she mirrored his actions, he emitted a slight gasp in return. The kiss deepened and became more passionate. Ginny now straddled him and he was taking off her shirt. Becoming aware and alert to the situation she was in, she blushed a deep red and stopped. She had gone far with boys before, but with him it seemed almost awkward, even though it seemed as if they both knew exactly what they were doing. Afraid that things would go any further, Ginny pulled her shirt back on, gave Matthew a nice peck, and got off him.

They pulled away and sat down on the bean bags, as he called them, that were placed in the house for seating purposes. The chatted about how their lives were and random stuff that only Ginny and Matt could come up with together. Matthew had been staring at Ginny for a while in a way that she had never seen before, and it didn't bother her very much. She had seen the look in his eyes before. It was the way that Ron stared at Hermione when she didn't know he was looking. She felt butterflies in her stomach, but continued the story she was telling.

Suddenly, he stood up and offered her his hand. She held hers up and stared at him in with a very confused look on her face. He saw this and laughed at her cuteness. He gave her a quick peck on her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. She had never been looked at like that before and the familiar red blush began to crawl across her face. He cradled her cheek in his hand and said "Ginny, I want you to know that I love you, I really do."

Ginny was shocked, no one had every said that they loved her before. She had many boyfriends, but nothing ever got so serious like this. Before she knew what she was doing, she said it back to him. She wasn't sure if she meant it or not, but she thought it was the right thing to do. She would be going off to school soon anyways, so she figured it would be okay.

That night, she almost gave herself to him.

Matthew went to give her one last kiss before she had to go because time seemed to fly right by them while they were talking. His mother called out to them telling the love birds that Ginny had to go home now because it was going to be dark soon. They gave another good-bye kiss and Ginny descended from the tree-house, leaving the happiest man in the world behind.

She was half way home when the bike hit a sharp stone and the front tire went flat. She figured that the bike was now useless, so she dismounted and began to walk the rest of the way. Even though it was almost dark, she somehow felt safe.

Ginny ran as far as she could. She had no direction of where to go, but she knew that she had to run away. She ran the opposite way of the Maggie with hopes that she wouldn't be seen. Maybe another day Maggie could help her find Draco. She seemed eager enough to help Matthew, so maybe she would be willing to help Ginny.

Before she left, she caught one last glimpse of Matthew. His shaggy brown hair stuck out from his blue beanie. His eyes were the same creamy brown she had remembered looking into so long ago. Even though he was quite a site for sore eyes, she could not even think of comparing him to Draco. There was no one made for her but Draco, and she had to find him.

She was determined to.