XXXVIII.
Terms of Endearment

We cannot underestimate the significance that the Honored Matres' many Orders had on their recent history. For the most part, Honored Matres was not a sisterhood, only a collection of semi-independent hierarchical chapters with wildly different origins, each one headed by one or more Great Matres. Only the coming of the One with Many Faces forced the Orders to fall in line and answer to a single supreme Great Honored Matre; and even then, cloak and dagger politics remained prevalent until we took over.

- MILES TEG, A PRELIMINARY REPORT ON OUR HONORED MATRES ACQUISITION

Tairasu did not predict her apprenticeship at the Bene Gesserit School had taken a twist until she was far beyond regret. An attraction almost sensual in nature tied them to the closely guarded Bene Gesserit secrets. Oh, the Sisters were not coy about their powers, expounding the theory without really engaging in any practical training. They encouraged the awe but treated it like platonic love, something not to be consummated. Where explanations ended, there started the gossip, shared in whispers in the evening at the dormitory and out loud at a careful distance from the ever-watching Tutors.

The Bene Gesserit can stop aging!

Yet, Tutor Gammala seemed quite content with her saggy skin and dark eye bags.

The Sisters are immune to poison!

"No wonder, given what their kitchen dishes out!" Gerta had remarked.

The Bene Gesserit remember past lives!

In the wee hours of the night, she fantasized what endless life memories would bring - how many romances? How much boredom instead?

The Bene Gesserit can immobilize you with a word!

"Faster than we can kill them?" Sutica had asked, doubtful.

She had joined the club of the envious, and knew that was the game the B.G. were playing on them. Even Angelika waved away any question about their future initiation. "You will be ready soon enough". Meantime, they were herded like school children, chided for discipline, kept in the dusty prison world called Chapterhouse, a world turned so miserable and uninteresting that it did not even have a proper name. The three of them were getting restless, while a wide but low-key surge of anger slowly built up across campus.

"Murbella has not rid the Council from the original B.G. yet," they whispered.

"She can't. Look at Angelika, too. She clearly feels the competition," replied Sutica, always ready to defend her idols, the two fierce, beautiful, and charismatic women who ruled their universe. Not to speak of their taste in fashion.

"The old B.G. have this upside down. We won the war. So why are they holding us back?" asked Gerta.

"Bah! I heard the full Matres who are initiated to their mysteries are equally cryptic," continued Sutica.

"And no mystery as to why! Only Matres initiated by the Bene Gesserit can hope for advancement now," replied Gerta. That rang true. The widely publicized Sisters who were taking roles of authority had received the Bene Gesserit's blessing and undergone the spice trance. Blue was the new black.

And that's why they were all in line for it. Restlessly, for they never had learned to delay the moment of gratification. And that opened the path to jealousy and resentment.

"Watch it," Sutica had warned her. "Tutor Gammala is paying you too much attention."

"Precisely my goal, sister! To leave you all in the dust and get admitted to the trance," Tairasu had snapped back.

"There are snakes among us. Don't be a target," she had replied. The day after, Gammala's favorite, a short, young girl named Krissa had been sent to the local hospital after a 3rd degree face burn. That was not the B.G's M.O. Only the Matres her schoolmates could be vicious that way.

"Nobody has seen Murbella in public for days now," was the gossip.

"Is she out on a mission?"

"The queen bee leaving the nest?"

"Angelika and Ashala ran the last Council meeting jointly," were the whispers during prana-bindu practice. It was clear something worried the Tutors. Class schedules turned from hard to oppressive.

"Rumors say the order of Reo made a move. Murbella dead or wounded," was the news brought by Gerta while they were walking briskly toward their weekly chores in the kitchen.

Silent stares followed.

"But the new Sisters swear to Murbella to have no order but the Blue-eyed order. They effectively are like the B.G."

"The traditional Orders must still be flailing in their dying strength. Imagine how hateful they must become, losing every day more of their Matres to Murbella after they pass the spice test."

Sutica shrugged. "I have no contact with Aradonak, my Order. Gerta?"

"I am of the Hormu, and if the worst happened it is no protection since it's Murbella's."

Tairasu shrugged: "I never was admitted to one."

"The Orders traditionally ignore the Matres in training, because that's what we are right now," replied Gerta. Yet that thought did not bring relief.

"Hormu, Gor, Sulu, Aradonak, Istha, Selj,... and half a dozen more if you count the minor Orders like Reo."

"The Black Order," replied Tairasu.

"The Blacks are just gossip, Tairasu. The secret order, which exists only in schoolgirls' susceptible minds. Instead, the Rajak, Leio, and Sukuntal Orders are still fighting us at the borders of the Old Imperium. They may find allies among the Orders here. A faction war is not a great prospect if Murbella is down for good. And at least presently, we are not worth much to anyone," Sutica said, sternly.

The next afternoon, Tairasu decided to get out of school grounds and reach the giant fig tree which dominated a nearby field not a mile from the School. The large living tree stood as a queen among the lower shrubs that surrounded it. Just being there gave her a feeling of stability. Nobody was around. The air was dry. She trained, and trained, and pushed her body to the limit, a good old Honored Matres routine, sweating through all the pores. She began incorporating the new teachings - the feints and the kicks of the Bene Gesserit tradition. She would pause in the midst of the action, listen to her body's reactions, and play at controlling her heart rate, and furious breathing.

A solitary crow was perched high on the tree, an unlikely observer.

She continued to perform majraa, the Way of Water, with each of her blurring movements following the path of least resistance to cut the air in front of her. Water's way was gradual but powerful, a dance that moved horizontally into all four directions. Her conscious mind evaporated, leaving her to feel every breath and nerve and muscle; and the sweat forming on her skin. The sand particles in the air forced her to focus on moving sideways against the wind, lest she felt the sting of tiny burns during her faster-than-the-eye exercise. Words from her old training days on Shoen came back to her slowly: It is the nerve terminations making decisions, not the mind - the mind is a sensory organ for your fingertips to move without fail. When you move, it's the body that moves. Embrace your body and get in tune with its music." What was the name of the trainer? Tairasu had forgotten, just like she had forgotten the name of the Matre who killed her to gain her post.

She froze after a series of rolls and dodges, standing on one leg while the other extended in a perfectly shaped kick. Prana-bindu training took over; her breath slowed down despite the body's demand for oxygen. Her heart pounded calmly like a clock. Tairasu smiled, still frozen. For the first time, Chapterhouse had delivered something of value. She laid down on the grass and closed her eyes. The crow croaked. A string of images ran through her, each one a landscape from different planets: Mitrai, Shoen, Utica, Eian, Gammu. Always on the move, always a peg in the Order's cruel machine. She sought in memory the face of her mother, a Full Matre, whose disappearance had flushed her down the machine and dumped her on the hard ground where competition was the only means of survival. The crow cawed. She opened her eyes into the sky's deep blue. She got up and climbed the fig tree to find the bird. Branch by branch, she emerged above the canopy into the view above. Green patches and white buildings to the north. She turned to the south to face the distant dunes that advanced a few sandgrains every hour. Where was the bird? It stood on the same branch as hers, out at the edge where she could not reach. Curious. The prana-bindu lesson back at the school was going to start soon, she thought, and swiftly climbed down to land in the dry grass below with a puff of dust.

She felt her neck caught in a branch; her hand moved to remove it but found something hard but soft at the touch. Fabric. It was an arm that pressed against her throat, paralyzing her. Blonde hair stepped into Tairasu's visual.

"Keep holding her," said the face to whom the blonde hair belonged. A white, non-descript face over simple black clothes.

Tairasu could not breathe. She was pushed to the ground and held there. How many were they, three, four? The girls' eyes betrayed the orange flecks of her sisters and enemies: other Matres.

The blonde looked down to her and asked questions: "Where is your school, pet? What is your name?" She replied while gasping for her. She could not break the hold they had on her. Don't be a target. What a fool she had been.

"The way she moved a few minutes ago," said whoever was holding an arm against her throat still, "this one is too weak to be of use. Better to end her life and find some other target."

"Let me make the determination," snapped the blonde, pointing her orange eyes back at Tairasu. "See, my dear? Four to one. Not a winning ratio for a lonely stray. Remember the rule, right? Only the fittest survive. You are in a bad spot. But let's say I hold these beasts back, and I give you a chance. Perhaps? See, we already know how to find you. You have no secrets. So I have a game to play. Maybe you can prove these girls you are worth keeping. Want to hear it? Yes, good girl. You steal the spice from the Tutor's cabinet, and bring it back to us tomorrow at this hour. It's kept in small blue vials, usually in plain sight somewhere in the teachers' quarters. Do it, and we give you some... room to breathe. You don't... Well, we know where you sleep. No, we have never met before. And now," she continued smiling, "we will leave you vivid memories of this to make sure you don't forget."

A kick into her shin made Tairasu scream, except she had no air left in her lungs. She thrust her torso up, but was slammed down on the ground. Flashbacks of past attacks from the days of her Matre apprenticeship came back while tears formed at the corner of her eyes. Helpless, she closed them...

"Somebody out there," roared a voice. In seconds, the grip was gone. There was rustling around her, footsteps disappearing back in the brush. With eyes wide open, Tairasu was surprised to see Sutica appear on the path, rapidly approaching her while making a safety sign with joined hands - the Matres' signal indicating help was to be given without trickery. Gerta trailed her, appearing on the path.

"Makes you wonder why they cared - surely they could take out any of the Tutors who saw them and hide their bodies later," said Sutica.

"How did you find me?" Tairasu's hoarse voice finally came out as she was massaging her throat. "Help me up."

They lifted her up, sliding arms under her shoulders as she started walking. Despite Tairasu's protests, Sutica kept supporting her as they walked. "You are limping, Mami," she reproached her. "You were late for Gammala's prana-bindu class," her friend began to explain, "so we asked around. Inconceivable that you were going to skip an opportunity to stand out. You were last seen heading out. We got here just in time. You were in a bind tight there, Mami."

"Why do you call me Mami?" She stopped on the trail because of the pain.

"An endearing term that sounds like scared panther cub where I come from. Force of habit, Mami. You earned your new nickname," replied Sutica dryly but affectionately. Tairasu looked down at her aching leg, figuring she was in no position to argue.

"You: Mami; Gerta here is Ewami, the pretty one. You were lucky they did not stay and fight." They resumed walking.

"Nah," continued Sutica, "I had the time to take a good look. My bet is that those four were fish out of the water like you, Mami. You don't need four fighters to scare one. It was their first attack ever. But they will learn."

As they were approaching the campus grounds, Tairasu stopped to recompose herself. She would not look defeated. "So those were just bullies," she observed while staring at the gate where a few students were passing through.

"Ever seen them before?" chimed in Gerta.

"No, but..."

"They must belong to a different training center here on Central. The closest campus is three miles away. Not a group of Matres taking a stroll across the meadows, though. Clumsy, but with a goal. Did you not notice the rings on their fingers? More than bullies, those were Gor's adepts. They are raising their heads. They were not going to stop at the intimidation phase."

"Why me?"

"Because you were alone, silly."

That took a minute to sink in. Tairasu realized the game had reached a new level, one she was intimately familiar with - and terrified by - from her pre-Chapterhouse days. "Playtime's over," she said.

"For us and the B.G. as well," was Sutica's reply.

"Any news about Murbella?"

"Her weird bed boy has been seen lurking around the Labs. That's all I know."

"The Labs are a good five miles away. How do you know all this?" asked Tairasu, confused.

Sutica shook her head. They looked into each others' eyes. "Mami, Gerta, we need protection."

Tairasu sighed. Like in the old days, a Matre without an Order or a sponsor was at everybody's mercy.

"I will send a message to Angelika," proposed Sutica.

Not a chance. Angelika is a Council member. Do you think we are her lowly best friends? She is not so close to us as to care."

"Leave it to me. You are the scared cub, Mami; and Ewami here is carefree and impulsive," replied Sutica with a faint smile, "while I was Great Matre's Oyola's attendant back on Filgor, before she fell. I know, I have seen the game. I will take care of you two. Us."

"Or?"

"I fear no one will."