Chapter Nine: Revelations
Lily yawned and nuzzled her head against James' neck. She had slept in his room last night. Lily blushed a little though they hadn't done anything really, but it was still new to her to be sleeping in the same bed as a boy. She was still trying to wrap her mind around what James had told her last night. Sirius had wiped her memory? It hardly seemed possible, but it explained so much to her about her feelings for the past few days, how she hardly knew anyone in her class.
Lily sighed and decided to slip out of bed to go shower. She wanted to greet the day prepared to face down Sirius, and eventually James. She had a feeling she'd be very mad with him once she regained her memory. Not that she hadn't been very angry with him last. She had yelled for at least half an hour. Lily coughed, recalling how dry her throat had been. James had just sat there and took everything she threw at him. In a way it had made her even angrier. She couldn't believe that he'd had his own memory back for several days and had not immediately wanted hers likewise restored.
Lily smiled a little to herself at his reasoning. He had just wanted to be with her. How could she blame him for that? But she shouldn't spend too much time reflecting. Lily looked over at James who was apparently still sleeping. Steeling her nerves Lily made to get out of bed.
However, at that moment, James decided to snake his arms around her waist, "Don't."
Lily blinked and turned to look at his now open hazel eyes. They were so beautiful, she wanted to get lost in their depths. "What, James?" She tried to sound angry with him. She felt bad for her emotional outburst the night before. After yelling at him she had collapsed into his lap, crying her eyes out for a memory she didn't have. Oh yes, James had confessed why she had been so angry with him that Sirius felt compelled to wipe their memories. She couldn't believe the words that had come out of his mouth, but she knew they were true. He had been so calm and rubbed her back the whole time she cried. He didn't try to make any moves. She had just cried herself into exhaustion. Eventually he had picked her up and carried her to his bed where they had both slept fitfully.
"Do you hate me, Lily?" James asked quietly, his eyes still searching hers. He could see so many emotions there. He didn't want to attempt to read them, all he knew is that he still saw love. Love for him, he hoped. It had taken so much for him to confess everything with such a straight face.
"I don't know, James. It's hard, you know?" She sat up and pulled out of his embrace. "I should go shower. We need to speak to Sirius first thing."
"We will, Lily dear. But please don't leave me." James held onto her hand and kissed it lightly. "I don't want to be separated. You'll hate me soon enough, I'm not eager to hurry it along."
Lily bit her lip and looked at James. He was so beautiful, and he loved her, he did. She could see it in his eyes, in his movements, but most of all… Lily leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his lips. He had a way of kissing her that made her melt inside. She wanted to stay with him forever.
"I love you, James." Lily looked up into his bewildered eyes and before could reply she placed a more urgent kiss on his lips, her tongue seeking entrance to his mouth. After a few moments of shock he readily complied with her wishes, his hands coming up to clasp her to him gently. He laid down his back, bringing her with him, their tongues battling with each other, expressing so many emotions that were bottled up inside them.
After a few minutes, their need for air caused James to pull away from Lily. He rested his forehead against hers, his thumb stroking her cheek while he regained his breath. His hazel eyes gazed into her emerald ones. "Lily, I love you too. And after everything happens today, I want you to know that, I need you to know that! I love you."
"How could I ever doubt you, James?" Lily extricated herself from his embrace and left the bed for the shower. "Don't doubt me either. I meant what I said. I do love you, James. You've meant so much to me. You had to have meant so much to me!" Lily's eyes were tearing up. "Ever since I met you at the beginning of the year I have felt such a strong connection with you. And if it weren't for Lucius," Lily's breath caught in her throat as she started sobbing, "I'm sure I would have realized it sooner." She finally gasped out.
Lily stood in the doorway staring at him. He looked positively disheveled after their snog session. She had wrapped her hands up in his hair and she could see it sticking out everywhere. He was only wearing flannel boxer shorts and she could easily see the smooth planes of his chest as he sat up in his bed, the sheets twisted around him. He looked so gorgeous that it took everything within herself to turn around and head for the shower. She needed to clear her brain. Her meeting with Sirius would reveal to her so much about James and the rest of her feelings for him. She didn't doubt she loved him sincerely, but she needed to know what had happened from her own perspective. She hoped their relationship could survive this.
She really hoped she wasn't being a silly girl who had rushed into a relationship and was now trying to condone her actions by convincing herself of having real feelings for James Potter.
How she hoped.
Sirius was having a very good dream. It involved himself, Remus and a very buxom young lady. Unfortunately it seemed James' voice was working its way into his dream. What would James be doing in the middle of his threesome? Sirius cringed, certainly not trying to join! No, no it had to be something else. Perhaps his was trying to tell him something. It sounded suspiciously like, "Wake up."
Sirius peeped an eye open and saw his best friend glaring down at him. "What, Prongs?" Sirius mumbled and tried to settle back down into his blankets.
"Get up!" James ripped the blankets off of Sirius, exposing his boxer clad form.
Sirius shivered and grasped for the blankets. To no avail, however, as James had them tightly in his grasp far away from Sirius.
"What do you want?" Sirius grumbled. He was feeling irate having caught Remus laughing at him. Peter just looked confused.
James gave him a hard look and threw his blanket back at him. Sirius grinned, feeling like he had won, and immediately closed his eyes to go back to sleep. "I told Lily last night."
Sirius froze. "Told her what, exactly?"
"What do you think, Padfoot? She'll be here any minute now. And if you don't want her to see you nearly naked, I suggest you get dressed." James crossed his arm and glared at his best friend.
"Okay, okay." He muttered and got up, dressing as slowly as he could, just so everyone could get a good view of his finely sculpted form.
"Stop acting like we're all staring at you." Remus snickered from the next bed over.
Sirius turned his eyes to his semi-boyfriend, and licked his lips suggestively, about to pull his shirt over his head.
"Yeah," Peter piped up. "None of us want to see that. Eww. One would think you were trying to turn us on or something."
Sirius choked, his shirt halfway over his head, and fell back onto his bed, caught in his apparel. "What the heck are you talking, Wormtail? I have no reason to try and turn any of you on."
Remus just grinned and helped Sirius out of his shirt dilemma. "Sure, Padfoot."
"Why, you little tosser!" Sirius glared at Remus before pouncing on him, trying to get him to submit.
James growled. "Will you two lovebirds quit it, Lily's coming."
Sirius gasped and turned his face to his friend. James grinned at him knowingly for a second before turning his head to watch Lily approach. Sirius turned back to Remus who was grinning too. "How does he know?" Sirius whispered.
"It could be how you were just in the middle of molesting me…" Remus started.
Sirius looked affronted. "I did not!"
"Yes you did." Remus kissed his nose before crawling off of Sirius. It was at that moment that Lily entered the room and everyone fell silent.
"Hello, guys." She said quietly.
"Hey, Lily." James stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, lending her support. He could tell she was very fragile at the moment. He felt her immediately lean back against him and he took her hands in his own.
Remus stood up and brushed himself off. He smiled at Lily, "Hey, how are you feeling?"
"Confused," Lily admitted and looked down.
"Now, Lily, my precious, I didn't know you fancied me. Is that what's got you all distressed, we can easily fix that by a quick round in the sack." Sirius winked at her, approaching cautiously.
"Gag me now, Black." Lily cracked a smile.
"Ooh, Kinky." Sirius purred before pulling her out of James' grasp and dipping her low, making as if to kiss her.
"God, Sirius! What are you doing?" Lily's eyes had turned up to glare at him before she gave him a piece of her mind when her face went blank. She was staring at Sirius' wand.
Sirius gave her a reassuring smile. "I only wanted what was best for you and James, Lily. I hope you can forgive me. I wasn't thinking properly. All I could think was that you were going to leave and my best friend was going to go insane."
Lily gave him a hug and murmured into his shoulder, "Thank you, Sirius."
Remus rested a hand on her back, "Shall we?" He looked at Sirius, who nodded.
Lucius growled to himself. He was sitting in Potions and could not concentrate on his work. He looked boredly around the room while Professor Slughorn rambled on about some sort of draught or another. Did it really matter to him? He was a Slytherin and Slughorn was his Head of House.
His gaze soon rested on Lily Evans. His blood still boiled recalling that incident at Hogsmeade. She had been so ready for him! He could tell. She had fallen for his lies and fake sincerity. He licked his lips, what a shag she would have been. He couldn't get his mind off of it. Her body was just so exquisite, despite the fact she was a mudblood.
He cocked his head to the side observing her. For the past few days she and Potter had been hanging off of one another. It had disgusted him immensely. But today she was sitting next to Lupin trying her best to ignore Potter's pleading stares. Perhaps they had had a fight. Maybe he could use that to his advantage…
Lucius wasn't the only one who noticed Lily's odd behavior. As soon as he released the class to work on their potions Horace Slughorn approached his prize student. He had a soft spot for Lily Evans. She was such a bright witch and a wonderful member of his Slug Club. But all year she had hardly acknowledged their special relationship and hadn't attended a single meeting. After seeing her with Potter he thought he understood, but now she seemed estranged from him. Maybe it was time to interfere.
"Miss Evans," he said as he drew near.
"Yes, Professor?" She set down her stirring rod and looked up at the Professor. He could see unshed tears in her eyes.
"Is there something bother you? I haven't seen you at a single meeting all year. We're having another one this weekend, you know. I think you should come along."
Lily nodded and looked back down at her potion. "I should be able to come, Professor." She looked back up at him smiling. "I don't know what's come over me."
Horace looked flustered. "It's quite alright, dear. You can return to your work now."
Professor Slughorn moved back to the front of the class watching his students. He sighed exasperatingly to himself as Pettigrew blew something up. He honestly didn't know how the child had gotten into his NEWT potions. It probably had something to do with his three friends. He didn't know how well they treated Pettigrew, but they obviously stuck together. They were always helping each other out. That thought alone confused Horace as to why he would sometimes see Pettigrew sneaking around in the dungeons with some of his own Slytherins. Perhaps he should speak to the boy.
James sat in his common room waiting around for Lily, much like three nights previous. It was now Monday night and James had barely come into contact with Lily since Saturday. After Sirius had returned her memory she had just gone all rigid and left the room immediately. James didn't know what to do. He had just watched her go. His friends weren't much help either, as they just told him to give her some space.
James desperately wanted to hold her close to him. He closed his eyes recalling their last few moments together when she hadn't hated him. She had said she loved him. Did she still?
James didn't notice Lily's presence in the room at first until she was practically straddling his lap. James looked at her, startled. "Lily?" His brow furrowed down in a confusion that didn't last long before her mouth was trying to devour his.
His hands instinctively ran up the sides of her arms to clasp her shoulders. He maneuvered her down on her back and pressed up against her, his hands feeling everywhere, just as hers were. As his right hand closed around one of her breasts he looked into her eyes and saw her desire and… was that love? shining back at him. He groaned to himself and started kissing down her jawling before suckling on her neck. Her beautiful neck.
He felt her hands trail up under his shirt, and the next thing he knew it was gone, as was hers and her pale breasts were shoved against his naked chest as she pulled him in for a long searing kiss.
James' emotions were running rampant with him and he didn't take time to really analyze what was happening. Why was she doing this after having not spoken to him for several days? He couldn't bring himself to care because her hand had just snaked into his pants, grasping him firmly.
"I want you, James." He heard her whisper. They were the first words he had heard her speak to him in a long time and they drove him mad. He quickly dispensed with his pants and boxers along with hers.
James gazed into her eyes as he stood poised, ready to enter her. She bucked her hips up against his and he sank down willingly, claiming her lips in a hungry kiss. He started moving fast and quick against her eager body. He felt so much tension inside him being released that it didn't take him long before he came. He didn't know if she did or not, but he collapsed on top of her, nestling his head on her sweaty chest gasping for breath. "I love you, Lily Evans." He choked out.
He felt her chest shaking and he looked up at her, seeing tears leaking out of her eyes. "Lily?"
She didn't reply. She couldn't. There was just so much to say.
A/N: I hope one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me for being such a sporadic updater... I can't help it. I write when I'm inspired, which is so rarely. And if I would just force myself to open up word and start writing it just becomes so easy. Erg. Well, anyhow, I think two people reviewed yesterday which made me really want to write this for you guys today. So, yay!
So, I'm sorry for the almost pure lack of Peter. It's not that I hate him (which I kind of do..) it's just I don't know what to do with him! And then whenever I can incorporate him it seems that just Sirius and Remus want to talk.. and... blah. So, there was some of him in this chapter! Woo! And maybe more, or more just hints like I gave.
So, we can all rejoice, Lily has her memory back! I keep opening up new things for this story and I don't know how I'm going to wrap them all up. Lol, Slughorn.. How could I not include him once we learned of his existence in HBP? It would have been silly of me. And NO Lucius will not be raping Lily... And I know some of you don't like the whole SiriusRemus thing... so, here's my promise: They will not be having sex. At least, not where I'll be describing it, that is. They might in the privacy of their own time... I can't really tell them no, can I? But you guys won't have to read about it.
So, leave me a review and let me know what you think!