The Mess We Became

A/N: If you are reading the second chapter I'm guessing you already read the first. So…insert everything from the first author's note here. If you haven't read the previous author's because you think it's below you to do such things please step off your throne and do so.

Thank you all who reviewed! I appreciate all the reviews and the praise, advice, and honesty given in them very much. You all deserve cheesy fries! Hopefully, I can make this chapter live up to the last.

If my words mush together I'm really sorry. I read this through about a hundred times before I submitted it though every time I correct something and save changes a couple of words mush together and once I corrected that some different words mush together and so on and so forth. I blame my computer because it can't stick up for itself.

Disclaimer: I own this disclaimer so don't even think about copying it. If you want rights to my disclaimer we can possibly work something out…for a price.

"Ms. Gilmore you are late. The meeting started at eight, it is now quarter past. Please take a seat unless you would like to entertain us with a half-baked excuse, in which case we will humor you." Mr. Hanson was an intimidating man. He stared at Rory, waiting for her to either start a lame excuse or to sit down.

Rory's voice was mildly shaky with nervousness, "I'm really sorry sir. I assure you it won't happen again."

He looked at her damp hair with sheer disgust. "I would think that being late you would at least look presentable. This diminishes…"

It sounded like quacking from their forward; she wished that being a book reviewer could simply mean reading wonderful books and writing up excellent reviews on them. The quacking was now directed at someone else. She imagined a duck sitting in that haughty leather chair and she had to bite her lip to suppress laughter. The man sitting across from her seemed to notice and rolled his eyes at the absurd young woman.

An hour passed and she sat their and nodded unintelligently when something was directed at her. Her boredom quickly sustained her and made her boss take his duck form again now for some reason, quacking with rage at the woman sitting to Rory's left. The duck was now waving its wing trying to shake what should be a finger. She pressed her hand across her mouth and giggled…which apparently went unnoticed by nobody by the looks on their faces.

Mr. Hanson, who has now taken on his human form again, looked down at his folded hands as if in prayer.

"Sorry, I was thinking of...ducks." Rory hoped the fact that no one would find ducks amusing unless they were in her head would help it go unnoticed.

"How amusing."

Rory didn't say a word for the rest of the meeting. She didn't even think she heard a word. This gave her time to think. Correction: This gave her too much time to think.

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"What's got your knee socks in bunch?" Amber said without taking her eyes of the television screen.

Rory locked the door and plopped next to Amber on the couch. "I turned Mr. Hanson into a duck." Amber clicked her tongue though asked no questions. "Aren't you supposed to be at your boyfriend's place?"

"I walked in on him and his boyfriend. They live together. I should've knocked."

"Huh." Rory got up and wandered to her room, she wasn't fazed the least by Amber's gay humor like she once was.

Rory looked at the mirror and saw how unruly her hair was looking. She picked up a hair tie pulled back her hair loosely and noticed her foot hit the soft cover of a small book that hadn't been picked up that morning. She reached down for the book and stopped.

She let out a sigh of grief and perused through the margin notes on the first page of Howl. As she flipped through the pages there was a certain feeling she was having that she couldn't put her finger one.

It wasn't love, definitely not. You can't love someone you haven't seen in five years and you can't love someone you can't…trust. Did she trust him at one point? Of course she did, though never again. Did she love him at one point? Sadly…though she's been over that for years.

Was the feeling happiness? No, it couldn't be, she really had nothing to be happy about at the moment. So maybe it was sadness…no, well yes she was sad…though there was something else.

The feeling came stronger; she then immediately knew what it was. It was a tiny bit of regret. It was just a regret of what she'll now never know, the unsure feeling that came with a lack of closure and how it could've ended differently, not so messily. With her boyfriends the break-ups were always soap opera style, though at least they had some type of closure…except with Jess.

To some, Jess leaving, coming back and leaving again, and then coming back and her sending him away could be considered closure. Though, most closures end with the two beings partaking in the closure being acquaintances. That's how it was with Dean and Logan after a while.

Now with Jess, there's this big opening that was messily covered up. That's all it was. Covered up, forgotten, and though not closed.

She wished she never dreamt about him, you are not supposed to dream about ex-boyfriends. If she never dreamt about him she would've thrown the book out the window. No she wouldn't, though it's nice to think she would. She would've placed the book in the shelf, deep in the shelf, and moved on.

Rory reached for the shelf, though she threw out her bedroom door she thought to be closed. Rory cringed at the "OUCH!" she heard from the living room. It was less than a second later that the book came flying back and landed full force on her face. She was glad the first book Jess stole from her was Howl and not The Holy Barbarians, Amber and her would be sharing a room at the hospital if it was.

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"You need a guy, the last time you went on a date was like 2 months ago," Amber said casually as she cleaned a plate in the sink.

"2 months is not that long of a time and I don't need a guy," Rory said with an annoyed tone.

"I am very sorry. Need is the wrong word. Desperately could use; now you have to agree with me there. It doesn't have to be anything serious…if you don't want it to be."

Rory surprised herself that she was even thinking about. She really could desperately use a guy. This wasn't Stars Hollow, it was New York; she wasn't just going to run into her next love somewhere down the street, she had to the whole dating thing. Rory was always uncomfortable with the idea of going out with someone you barely know, though how do you get to know them if you don't. She didn't think this was a half bad idea.

Rory then noticed she was being carefully observed for a response in her expression so she spoke, "You…look like you have someone in mind…yes?"

"Why yes I do! Not that I'm setting you up or anything, that would be wrong…very wrong."

Rory raised an eyebrow at her prompting her to continue.

"He's a hermit though he dates more than you. I find him repulsive though he seems like your type because you're repulsive in a different way so I think you will contrast each other perfectly. If you want to know how I know him, it's the guy that fulfills my boyfriend's 'needs'. Though here's probably the best part for you, he reads so you can have a book discussion if things start sucking too much." Amber looked pleased at herself for finding this guy even though she had to look no further than her boyfriend's apartment. She once again searched Rory's face for expression, though when she found none.

Rory jokingly responded after some thought, "Are you sure Daren and the guy are both straight? The last thing I want is to have to witness two guys making out. And you can refer to your boyfriend as Daren because I know his name."

Amber scowled quickly and began talking again, "I'm sure you don't have to worry about public scenes even though you know it's hot. Besides, I already told Daren to tell his boy-toy you say yes."

Rory opened her mouth to protest though was cut off by Amber before she could begin, "Friday night, eight o' clock, we are double dating. Don't ask me his name because you already begged me to find you a date, then threatened me for information, and to top it all of, you didn't even check with me about the time of the date! Hmmph! Inconsiderate!" Amber smirked at Rory and closed the door of her room and yelled through the thin wood, "G'night dearie!"

Rory trudged to her room and changed then plopped onto bed and fell asleep the second her head hit the pillow. She was unbelievably happy as she drifted off. She was rid of the horrid stench of this day and was even slightly looking forward to Friday night. She was glad to be able to move on like last night was a dreamless sleep.

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"What's her name?" Jess asked robotically, not bothering to look up from his book.

"Rosie, Romie, Rollie…don't remember really. It starts with a R." Daren said as he opened a can of soda. He expectantly looked at Jess for an answer.

He thought about it for a second. "Are you serious, she reads?"

"She can write too!" Daren added sarcastically even though he caught the meaning of Jess's question. "At least that's what my girlfriend says."

"You can call her Amber, I know her name."

"So Friday night, eight o' clock, be tolerable. We're doubling and I told Amber to tell the girl you say yes. If the date sucks, just switch to book discussion mode." Daren walked to his room and shut the door.

Jess went to his room and lay on his back. These dates were his sorry attempt to move on. The girls he now dated weren't shameless and idiotic which was a step up from the girls he dated as a teenager…except one. Though, he knew that Rory Gilmore was gone from his life. She was a girl of his past. That's why it sickens him that he's still a little broken from five years ago.

A/N: What do you think? Does this chapter live up to the last? HONESTLY, what do you think? I think the word mushing thing improved a bit though I'm not sure, I skimmed it a couple of times and corrected mushed words.