I am so glad to see that people like this fic as well, even when it is a bit more depressing…
IMPORTANT NOTE: This WHOLE chapter is a FLASHBACK! Ok, get it? Got it? Good.
WARNING: My first (in depth) kissing scene is ahead…BLUSH I still can't believe I wrote this. I have no shame
On we go…
Remus and Tonks had been enjoying a leisurely walk on the grounds around the Borrow… that was until it had started to rain.
This wasn't a little sun shower either. It was the type that one would look out the window, and refer to it as 'raining cats and dogs.'
Before it had started though, Remus and Tonks had been walking along at a slow pace talking about nothing particular.
Chocolate, favorite colors, most embarrassing moments and other things, questions one would ask a person that they really wanted to get better acquainted with.
Tonks had been asking most of the questions but Remus didn't mind. He liked just being with her. He had been trying to control his emotions lately around her, for he had started to feel a odd attraction to her and fearing it, had tried to keep his distance. Maybe Tonks had sensed his withdraw from her and that was the reason she had asked him to go on a walk with her out of the blue.
Neither one spoke a word now.
They had found shelter under a large oak tree when the rain had started. Both seemed to preoccupied listening to the rain or maybe they were too engrossed in their thoughts to make conversation.
How long they stood like that, Remus didn't know. He realized half-heartily that they could apperciate and be back in the Borrow in a moments time. But, for some reason he didn't fancy that idea much.
He caught a glance of Tonks in the corner of his eye.
She was shivering slightly. Her pink hair hanging limply around her shoulders. Remus could tell that she was soaked to the bone. Her shirt was plastered to her chest. He could see the curve of her breasts through the now transparent material. Slightly blushing at himself, Remus shook his head. What was he thinking? Was he so busy lusting after her that he could not even think once of her well being. What if she caught cold?
Remus cleared his throat to get Tonks attention. Her head whipped up to look up at him like she had been disturbed from a deep trance.
Even through all the rain, Remus could tell that her eyes glistened not from it, but from unshed tears.
"What's the matter Tonks?" Remus asked in a tender voice, fearing that he might have offended her in their long silence.
"I'm sorry, Remus." Tonks started to say looking at Remus with a very sad face. "Even when I try and have a simple walk with someone it gets ruined some how. I mean can I do anything, right?"
Remus didn't know what to say but Tonks started to talk again before the silence became uncomfortable.
"Lately you have been acting differently around me Remus."
He could tell that it was hard for Tonks to get her words out in a calm voice.
"I thought I had done something to make you hate me. I mean, I am immature compared to you."
Tonks gave him a weak smile.
"That was why I asked you out for a walk. I figured I could ask you what I had done and apologize. As you can tell though I have been avoiding that subject."
Remus still didn't know what to say.
"I…I value your option of me. Very much, too much maybe" Tonks voice started to quiver lightly.
He had been such a fool! Having been so worried about his own emotions he had completely forgotten hers. This hadn't been his intention, to make her believe that he hated her.
Remus broke his silence.
"Nymphadora…" Remus started without even thinking about having using her first name. That was what he called her in his dreams and this certainly felt like a dream.
"No, the fault is with me." Remus stated simply.
Should he go on? Tell her the real reason why he had been treating her so coldly? The reason being that…
…he loved her.
No, that would never do. "Blame it on being a werewolf." His mind told him. It had always been a easy way out of awkward situations like this before but for some reason he felt like that excuse wasn't good enough for Tonks.
He could never tell her the truth though. Under no circumstances. That would defiantly make her despise him. He could see it all in his' minds eye. "I was acting indifferent towards you because I love you. I mean doesn't that make perfect sense?" He wanted to laugh cruelly at the irony of it.
He had almost forgotten that Tonks stood right next to him, having been so absorbed in his thoughts.
He looked back down at her. She looked like a goddess. A goddess with bubblegum pink hair. Remus noticed for the first time how vulnerable she looked soaking wet. Like she would break into a thousand pieces if he tried to touch her. He wanted to protect her with his whole being.
His heart ached with wanting to reach out and touch her.
Embrace her.
Then as if reading his thoughts, Tonks moved to put her arms around him. She moved so quickly that Remus barely had a moment to process it all. He made no move to stop her.
Even through she was soaked by cold rain water she was still warm to the touch. He could feel her arms snaking around his back. He felt her warmth as she pushed her body against his. She didn't lay her head on his chest like he thought she was going to.
Instead she looked up into his eyes with a intensity he had never seen from her before.
Then even more quickly then when she had wrapped her arms around him, her lips were on his.
Remus could feel her warm lips on his. They were moist and sweet. How long had he been wanting to feel these lips? Was this really happening? Remus wasn't really sure.
Before he could stop himself he had his arms wrapped around her stroking her back. He pulled her closer and as he did he also deepened the kiss they were sharing.
He ever so lightly slipped his tongue into her mouth. It was pure bliss. Her tongue started to move against his. Remus found himself leaning against the tree for support. If he didn't, he felt for sure that he would fall down for his legs felt like mush. Then if that hadn't been enough she started to rub her body against his, her body rhythm matched the same rubbing motion she was doing to his tongue.
Remus let out a low moan. Then he started to rack his fingers over her back. Even though she wore a shirt and a bra, he could feel every curve of her. His fingers lingered on her bra clip absent mindedly as they kissed. He broke his lips from hers and started to kiss her neck. It was so soft. Remus started to nibble and suck on her ear, Tonks whispered his name in a voice so hoarse he couldn't almost understand her.
"Remus…"
He brought his lips back up to hers afraid of what she might say next. Remus wanted these few precious moments they had together to last for a eternity.
OWARI
Blushes-OMG! I can't believe I wrote that! I hope everyone like it…
I am quite proud of myself. Like I said that was my first kissing scene so please tell me what you think! I value everyone's advice! THANKS
PS long chapter, huh? I just couldn't seem to stop myself!