Chapter 2

Jaina Solo had never paused in going to her rooms; she was afraid someone would stop and ask why she wasn't reporting to her commander. Of course they wouldn't, she was the "Goddess" after all. But that was her excuse for going so quickly to her rooms. Deep down though, she knew it was because her heart was pounding faster than a gundark on crack with a hammer. Jag had kissed her…

And was it so surprising? After all, he HAD joined her squadron when he was clearly cut out to be commanding not following. And he had reached out to her at Hapes. No, if she had been thinking clearly, she would definitely have suspected he felt something for her. But only just now did she realize that she felt something back.

She sighed, typing in the code to her door and rushing into her room. Did she have any time to be in love? Jaina almost laughed out loud. Love, who was she kidding? This wasn't love, this was just attraction. Right now…said a small part of her. "Oh shuddup," she muttered to herself. "I truly am crazy; I'm even talking to myself now."

She threw herself onto her bed. She held her pillow, thinking about her brothers. One dead…one probably dead…who was she to be happy? Could her brothers ever forgive her for possibly trying to find love when they were dead? She should be miserable; after all, it was her duty to take care of them. She was the eldest, born a few seconds before Jacen. And yet, she had still allowed her brothers to die…

And now she desired romance! Trying not to cry at how horrible she was, she shed her dirty jumpsuit and changed into a clean one. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "This is silly, Goddess' don't cry…" She shook her head and laid on her bed, hoping she might cry so hard she'd go to sleep.

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Jagged Fel paused outside Jaina's door, not quite sure what he was planning on doing. He knew he wanted to talk to Jaina, rationally and not while she was in hysterics. But what if she was sleeping? He wanted to ask her so many things. How did she feel about him? How could he make her happy? Resolved, he knocked on her door, but not before glancing around to make sure no one was watching. He didn't even want to think about the rumors that would fly if someone saw him going into Jaina's room…

The door opened a crack. He tried to look in, but the room was dark. "Yes?" came her voice, oddly quiet. She had been crying. He inwardly sighed.

"Jaina…can I come in? I'd like to talk." He let his mask fade away, being replaced by a caring face that truly reflected his thoughts. "Please? I only want to talk."

"Um…" her voice was hoarse. He hoped fervently that he wasn't the reason she was crying. "Yea, hold on." She coughed, and he heard her run in and splash water on her face. A few seconds later, she opened her door. "Um, come in. Make yourself comfortable."

He walked into her room. Analyzing every part of it, he saw that while she wasn't horribly messy, she was definitely less clean than him. He looked around for a place to sit, and to his discomfort, the only place was her bed. He sighed, hoping she wouldn't think he was being so forward, and sat on her bed.

Jaina cautiously went over to her bed and sat down. "What…what is it that you want to ask?"

Jag blushed. Jaina blushed. It was one big blush fest. "I…I wanted to know…how you feel…about me." He looked at her intently, a small blush still apparent on his face. "I mean, I guess you could already figure out how I feel…" She cocked her head, and he cursed himself for saying that. Now she was playing innocent to make him say it. "That I'm attracted to you and care deeply for you. I guess I thought that the kiss kind of explained that…"

Jaina giggled, surprising both of them. "I must admit, I was a little occupied at the time to think about underlying meanings."

Jag smiled. "I admit I was a tad occupied myself." He brushed a lock of her hair out of her face. "But you still aren't answering my question…"

Jaina looked away. "It's not that I don't have feelings for you, it's just…I have no right to be happy right now." She looked sad.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jag calculated the look in her eyes. "This has something to do with your brothers, doesn't it?"

The young pilot looked up at him, surprised. "Well, it's just…I have no right to be happy right now, not with what's happened. I was supposed to look over them you know…"

"It wasn't your fault Jaina. And you do deserve to be happy, you know why?" She shook her head, curious. "Because you are the most fascinating woman I have ever met. No one has ever attracted me like you have." She batted her eyes. Damn women and they're beauty…

"Please Jag, I don't think I do deserve it-" He interrupted her with a kiss. He just couldn't hold himself back.

"No, you're wrong. It's I who doesn't deserve any chance with you whatsoever. But here I am asking for it nonetheless. Will you give an undeserving man his greatest wish?"

Jaina looked back at him, her eyes pleading, possibly with herself. She wanted to be with him so much…maybe she did deserve someone to care for her right now. After all, isn't that what her Dad did for her Mom? Not knowing what to say, Jaina said the first thing that came to her mind. "Hold me."

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An hour later, Jag still held Jaina, talking. He had comforted her, learned more about her, and even told her about himself. He had pet her head, wiped away the tears when she cried and held her when they had nothing more to talk of.

For several more hours this continued on, until during one of the moments when Jag was holding her she fell asleep in his arms. Her eyes were still wet, and he brushed them with his thumb. "Poor thing," he thought. "She's being going and going with all this inside of her, all this hate and fear and regret. And anger, mostly anger." As he laid her down on her small cot, he kissed her forehead. She whined a little in her sleep and tried to draw closer to him and his warmth. Wishing he could stay with her, he pulled a blanket over her and brushed her hair with his hand.

"Goodnight dear pilot of mine." With a sigh, he got up and left her quarters, wishing more than anything he could stay with her all night.