Part V

'You believe she'd never leave

Rosy cheeked and oh so young

And full of flame . . .'

--17--

i

It took every bit of his strength, but he forced his eyes open. Somewhere in the back of his clouded mind, he noted that his pain had changed. It was no longer the dull ache he'd grown accustomed to, but a throbbing force that threatened to consume him.

Simple tasks, he reminded himself as he let his eyes close again. When the pain is too sharp, break life down into simple tasks. Like breathing . . .

Which was easier said than done, it seemed. The air felt thick . . . so thick that it hurt to draw even the shallowest breath. He switched his concentration to his lower extremities, but moving his leg brought discomfort as well.

In point of fact, it was difficult to find one part of his body that didn't hurt at the moment. He voiced his displeasure with a loud, unmistakable groan.

"Well, well. It looks like you've decided to rejoin the living."

That mothering tone of voice struck a familiar chord. He lifted his head, blinking his eyes against the light. "What . . . when . . .?"

A rustle of clothing, soft footfalls, and she was at his side. "Lie still," she cautioned as he endeavored to sit up. "Among other things, you have quite a nasty bump on your head—or so the doctors tell me."

"Doctors? Dotty, what's going on?" His widening eyes took in the situation with new understanding. His right knee was braced and propped up on a pillow; there was a bandage on the fleshy part of his left arm; and intravenous fluid dripped into a vein in his right hand. Not to mention the ever-present jug of water on the bedside tray table. Damn, he must be in the hospital again.

"Lee . . ." Dotty pressed her hand gently against his shoulder—the one that didn't hurt—to steady him. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Uh, yeah, I think . . . I mean, I'm not . . ." His words trailed off. Phillip and Jamie . . . they'd been in some sort of trouble . . . but he'd gotten them out of the factory. Annie, too. Brimstone hadn't succeeded this time; he'd seen the relief in Amanda's eyes. At least . . . he thought he had.

But if what he remembered was fact, not fantasy, then what was Dotty doing here?

Struggling again to sit up, he was rewarded by a sharp pressure in his chest and ribs. Dotty immediately began to fuss over him in that mother-hen way of hers. "Lee Stetson, don't make me get tough with you," she chided, easing him back into a prone position. "Dr. Scardelli left strict instructions that you were to lie still. If you insist on being upright, I'll raise the head of the bed."

"Scardelli?" Lee frowned. "N.E.S.T. was called in?"

"Yes. This place has been in quite an uproar, let me tell you." She looked at him sharply. "You do know you're in Parker General, don't you?"

He gingerly inclined his head toward the I.V. "Yeah, I figured."

"Well, I've never seen such a flurry of doctors and nurses in all my life," Dotty continued, the words pouring from her mouth. "They shut down an entire section of the emergency room, or so I hear. The high level of care almost gives me warm, fuzzy feelings for that Mr. Melrose of yours . . ." She grinned. "Well, almost."

He struggled to make sense of the disjointed images in his head. "Are the boys . . .?"

"Yes, they've both been admitted. Jamie seems to be holding his own, but we'll know more when all the test results are in. They're keeping Phillip for 'observation' or some equally absurd nonsense. Other than a very colorful black eye, he looked perfectly fit to me." She sighed in happy exasperation. "They're in a room down the hall."

He tried to toss the covers aside. "I've got to—"

"You'll do no such thing." Folding her arms across her chest, Dotty gave him her best 'no nonsense' look. "Jamie was sleeping peacefully when I looked in on them, and Phillip was about to nod off. They're going to be just fine, Lee. Everyone is going to be just fine—you included. Now, if I could only locate that elusive daughter of mine, I'd be a very happy woman."

"Amanda?"

"Do I have another daughter I don't know about? Wait, don't answer that." Her lips curled into a sarcastic smile. "Since it seems I have a grandchild I never knew existed, I suppose anything is possible."

"Annie . . ." He expelled a painful breath and closed his eyes. Thank God . . . When he'd awakened to find Dotty by his bedside, he'd almost been afraid to believe . . . but it really had happened . . . all of it. Amanda was alive . . . their child had survived . . . it hadn't been a dream.

Dotty sighed. "She's really beautiful, isn't she?"

"Yeah," his voice thickened, "she sure is."

"We're very lucky, you know."

There was joy and sadness in her smile, sentiments Lee understood perfectly. They had both missed so much of Annie's babyhood—a first step, a first word, a first birthday. Precious moments that could never be recaptured. Still . . . Annie was alive and well, and back in her mother's arms, where she belonged. The look on Amanda's face as their little girl ran to her was something he'd carry with him for the rest of his life.

"We are lucky, Dotty," he told her, his voice strong and clear. "Neither one of us should forget that."

Dotty cleared her throat and forced an upbeat tone. "And I suppose you're thinking that giving me this beautiful granddaughter is going to get you off the hook for not telling me Amanda was pregnant in the first place."

He gave a short laugh. "Well, I was hoping . . ."

"Sorry, doesn't wash—you owe me some serious payback, Mr. Stetson." She looked at him with a mock-frown. "And you can start by getting well and putting this family back together again."

"You know I want that, but . . . well, things have changed." Exhaling loudly, he let his eyes drift up to the ceiling. "I'd be a fool not to recognize that."

"Nonsense." She shot him the kind of bothered look only Dotty West could deliver. "You don't honestly believe that Amanda is going to stay with this Stevens character?"

"It's Stevenson . . . Doctor Bradley Arthur Stevenson."

"Arthur?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah." Lee shot her a sheepish grin. "Francine might have run a special background check on him. Strictly routine, you understand."

Dotty tilted her head. "I guess it's too much to hope that you turned up something horrifying."

"No such luck. Much as I've wanted to believe otherwise, it turns out he's exactly what he claims to be—a pretty decent guy. Damned impressive credentials, too, medically speaking."

She rolled her eyes. "I couldn't care less if the man's the Surgeon General. Amanda's married to you, not this Bradley person."

"As difficult as it is for me to admit, I think she . . ." His eyes clouded over. "I think she loves him."

His mother-in-law stepped closer and patted his hand. "Okay, so what if she does? She's in love with you. There's a difference, you know. After everything the two of you have been through . . . the time you've spent together . . ."

Gritting his teeth against the pain knew would come, he sat up straighter. "They've spent time together, too. Three years, Dotty . . ."

"It's hardly a lifetime, Lee."

"Yeah, that's exactly my point."

As Dotty propped a pillow behind him, he leaned back with a sigh. The threat to their children had certainly seemed to draw Amanda closer to him for a time, but he knew just how temporary a bond based on mutual terror could be. Now that the danger had passed, would those feelings of intimacy disappear as well? He could no longer deny that Amanda and Stevenson appeared to have forged a powerful connection.

"The two of them have probably spent more cumulative time together than Amanda and I have," he mumbled. "Not to mention being able to actually share a normal existence . . ."

"And what about everything the two of you have shared?" Dotty asked in a low voice.

He stared unseeing across the room. "The man threw her a lifeline when she was drowning. That has to count for something. He's the one who's been there for her when she needed someone to lean on. He's the one who's been a real father to—"

"To your daughter." Dotty gave his arm a tender squeeze. "That counts for something, too."

"But if Amanda doesn't remember . . ." He let out a long breath as he faced his mother-in-law. "How can I ask her to turn her back on the only life she knows, to start all over again with a man who's little more than a stranger to her? I'm not even sure I should ask her to do that." His jaw clenched. "After all, look what knowing me has gotten her—"

"Stop that right now," Dotty scolded sternly. "You're talking like you dragged Amanda into this marriage kicking and screaming. I know my daughter, Lee Stetson. Amnesia or not, nobody makes up her mind for her. So don't you start deciding how she does or doesn't feel—not before the two of you have talked things through calmly, without all this Agency drama muddying the water. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Mom," he said, with a faint smile. "I'll try."

"Well, that's all a person can ask." Smiling tenderly, she tucked the covers around him. "Now, you're exhausted, injured, and not making a whole lot of sense. I suggest you get some rest while I try to locate someone who can give me an update on my grandchildren. And tell me where my daughter has disappeared to."

Lee scowled. "You might want to try Stevenson's room. I believe he's on the sixth floor."

"I'm going to chalk that last piece of nonsense up to the bump on your head, Mr. Stetson." Bending down, she kissed him lightly on the forehead. "I'll be back soon." At the door, she paused to give him a long look. "You will stay put, won't you?"

"You know me too well." He shifted in bed, searching for a comfortable position. "But you're in luck—moving appears to be out of the question at the moment. If you happen to see Billy or Francine lurking in the hallway, could you ask one of them to come in and give me a status report?"

"If it will keep you in that bed where you belong, I'll be happy to hunt up your Mr. Melrose. I'll even promise to try to be nice."

"Thanks," Lee replied dryly. "I'm sure he'd appreciate that."

"Lee . . ." Dotty's expression sobered. "Things will work out, son," she said, her voice infinitely gentle. "You'll see."

ii

A small sigh escaped Francine's lips as she melted more deeply into the soft leather chair. "I'm not sure whether being allowed to use Parker General's boardroom for Amanda's debriefing should be considered a perk or a punishment," she told Billy Melrose through a sleepy yawn.

Billy grinned. "If I'd only known sooner, I could have arranged for one of those hard-backed monstrosities from the waiting room to be brought in for you."

"At this point, I'd welcome anything that would keep my eyes open, including toothpicks." She yawned again. "You know, Billy, I wouldn't admit this to anyone but you, but I'm getting too old for these all-nighters."

"Unfortunately, this one's not over yet. I'm going to need you to run security here at the hospital while I head back to the Agency to ride shotgun on the boys from crypto. I want them to start work on the Streator file the moment it's retrieved."

"Let me have one more jolt of caffeine, and I'm on it." Francine rose to re-fill her mug from the coffee carafe. Sipping gingerly, she rested her hip on the edge of the conference table. "Whatever information is in those files must be pretty important. Brimstone has certainly put us all through a lot of hoops trying to recover it."

"I can't argue with you there, Francine."

"Wouldn't it be ironic if the information we've needed to close down their operation has been gathering dust in a vent in a utility closet all these years?" She shook her head. "Unbelievable . . ."

"What's more unbelievable is that our teams missed it when they swept Brimstone's corporate offices five years ago."

Francine chortled. "I guess they should have considered the source. Only our resident housewife turned spy would think to hide vital information with the cleaning supplies."

"Francine . . ."

She shifted uncomfortably under Billy's piercing stare. "Sorry, that was a cheap shot. It's been a long day." Francine rubbed the kinks out of her neck. "I just wish she hadn't chosen to keep all her eggs in that particular basket. If she'd brought out the information a piece at a time . . ."

Billy sighed. "It was an honest enough mistake. The bottom line is that she was a rookie—a fact we all tended to overlook because she was Scarecrow's partner."

"That's true. After all, how many freshman agents regularly sit in on high-level staff meetings?" She glanced sideways at Billy. Including Amanda had been his decision, one she had never fully agreed with. "Do you think there will be any repercussions from Dr. Smyth about all this?"

"As you recall, Scarecrow was quite vocal in his objections to a freshman being handed this assignment in the first place. Smyth shouldn't be able to touch him. As for Amanda . . . well, after everything she's been through, I'd be very surprised if she had any inclination to return to the Agency—at least, as a field operative."

"But she obviously has a real talent for the job. Look at how she managed to evade Brimstone's questioning. Granted, she misused Harry Thornton's technique, but I'm not sure many operatives would have been able to initiate the sequence at all. Considering, as you pointed out, that she was technically still a freshman . . ."

"Exactly." Billy pulled back his shoulders and straightened his tie. "But at the moment, we have more pressing matters to deal with." He reached for the composite the sketch artist had drawn from Amanda's information. "I'm going to run this through the inter-agency databanks. Who knows, we might get lucky."

Francine frowned as she looked over Billy's shoulder to study the picture. "The details Amanda gave us on the man who interrogated her are a pretty fair match to Phillip King's description of his kidnapper."

"Yes, although if we believe what Quidd's preliminary profile tells us, the man's long gone by now. Without a name to go with the face . . ." Shrugging, he stuffed the sketch into his briefcase.

"Maybe Mrs. Marsten can shed some light on his identity."

"We'll know soon enough. Quidd will be questioning her at length tomorrow morning, and I definitely plan to be on hand for the occasion." Billy's scowl deepened. "It's the least I can do, under the circumstances."

"An Alpha One is rough, I know, but I don't know if I can disagree with Dr. Smyth's call on this one."

"I just hope it works out in her favor. If we can verify beyond a shadow of a doubt that what she's told us is the truth, then maybe we'll be able to work out a lighter sentence for her. As it stands now . . ." He let out a sharp sigh.

She stepped closer and laid her hand on his arm. "Billy, if you're thinking you're in any way responsible for what Mrs. Marsten did—"

"She was my direct report, Francine. I singled her out, promoted her above several other candidates."

"The woman was practically an icon at the Agency. Every one of us trusted her."

"Yeah, well, that has a way of backfiring on you sometimes. Remember Spiderweb?"

Francine's cheeks flushed. "All too well. Margaret Broch actually had us believing Amanda was a double agent. I had to eat a lot of crow on that one, let me tell you." Not to mention the ribbing she'd endured from the bullpen—two highly qualified agents on the case, and the mole was fingered by none other than Lee's part-time housewife helper.

"I'm beginning to know exactly how Mitch Larner felt when his secretary turned out to be the real Russian agent," Billy put in dryly. "And despite all that went down back in '84, I still never once suspected Mavis . . ." Billy sighed. "I knew how desperate she was to get help for Dan. I should have probed a little deeper, instead of taking everything she said at face value . . ."

Francine squeezed her friend's arm. "No one faults you for what Mrs. Marsten did—least of all Lee and Amanda. Oddly enough, Amanda seems pretty sympathetic to a woman who had a major hand in pulling her life apart."

Billy smiled softly. "When have you known Amanda King to be anything but sympathetic, Francine?"

She caught Billy's eye. "Don't you mean Amanda Stetson?"

Billy let out a long breath. "That remains to be seen, doesn't it?"

"You don't honestly think they'd split up now that she has her memory back?"

"I don't know. There was something in her eyes—a melancholy, for lack of a better term, that I'd never seen before. After the fight I witnessed between them earlier . . . well, if I was a betting man, I'm not sure I'd like the odds on this one."

"Billy—"

"Enough speculation on the Stetsons' future," he said, burying his distress in gruff words. "The best way we can help them at the moment is to wrap up this Brimstone case, once and for all."

"I'm with you there." Francine downed the rest of her coffee then smoothed the winkles from her black jumpsuit. "I think I'll find the ladies' room and splash some cold water on my face before I check in with the security detail."

"And I'm going to personally follow up with Metro Police on the one name we do have—Edith Johnstone. From what Amanda told us, if her son Herman was involved in this plot, it stands to reason that she was up to her ears in it as well."

She walked with Billy to the door. "Imagine—an innocuous little old lady like that turning out to be a terrorist."

"Stranger things have happened." He tossed her a grin. "As you just said—a simple housewife from Arlington turned out to be a first-rate operative."

Francine rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me."

iii

Amanda made her way from pediatrics to the internal medicine unit with measured footsteps. The N.E.S.T. nurse who had been assigned to watch Annie had promised to stay a little longer while Amanda checked on the boys. She'd half expected to find her little girl awake and fretful after her prolonged absence, but to her profound relief, the child was sleeping soundly. For the moment, at least, her daughter had been able to push her ordeal to the back of her mind. What the future might bring was anybody's guess. All Amanda knew for certain was that she would be there when Annie needed her. Annie and the boys. Beyond that . . . well, beyond that, she just didn't know.

As the elevator doors slid open on the fourth floor, she stepped out, still lost in thought. The normal hospital bustle had quieted when the night shift took over, so the lone, late-night visitor caught her by surprise. "I'm so sorry," she said as she retrieved the lady's fallen purse. "I didn't mean to bump—"

A strangled cry broke from the woman's throat. "Amanda!"

"Mother!" she gasped, almost unable to believe her eyes. "What on earth are you doing here? I thought you were in Switzerland!"

"When I didn't hear from Lee yesterday, I had a bad feeling that something wasn't right, so I took the first plane . . ." Dotty's eyes widened as she took her daughter by the arms. "Amanda, you . . . you know who I am?"

"Yeah . . . I . . ." Emotion choked her voice as she tried to speak.

Her mother gathered her into her arms and stroked her head. "Don't cry, darling, everything is going to be okay now. Mother's got you."

"Oh, Mother . . ." Smiling through her tears, she pulled back and looked into Dotty's eyes. "I'm so glad to see you."

"Me, too, darling. You have no idea what it's been like, thinking you were . . ." Dotty hugged her again. "Come on," she motioned to the small waiting room at the end of the hall, "I think we both need to sit down."

"I think you're right." She was grateful for her mother's supportive arm as they made their way down the hushed corridor; her legs felt like jelly.

"I have so many questions," Dotty began as she eased them both down onto the sofa, "that I don't even know where to begin."

Amanda lowered her eyes. "I'll try to tell you all I can, but some things are—"

"Oh, I'm more than happy to leave the classified issues to your Agency friends."

Amanda bit her lip. "It's so strange to hear you talk about the Agency."

Dotty lifted her brows. "Yes, I can well imagine. But I think that's a discussion for another time. At the moment, I'm more concerned with how you are." She swept her hand gently across Amanda's forehead and down her cheek. "You look wonderful, sweetheart."

"Spoken exactly like a mother." She grinned and rolled her eyes. "I'm an absolute mess. My hair is all frizzy from the rain, and I don't even want to think about what's happened to my makeup. Not to mention these clothes—"

"You'd be a sight for sore eyes even if you were wearing a burlap sack."

"This outfit isn't too far from a sack, at that." Amanda glanced ruefully at the green scrubs the emergency room nurse had scrounged from the hospital laundry. "I'm afraid my clothes were soaked through from the rain, and I was so worried . . . you know, about Annie and the boys . . . and, well, they were kind enough to loan me these so I'd have something dry to wear while my clothes—"

"Amanda . . ." Dotty squeezed her hand. "What are you talking about?"

A smile tugged at her lips. "I have no idea. I'm sorry—I didn't mean to go off on a tangent. I know it seems silly, but for some reason I'm really nervous."

"It wouldn't have anything to do with leading a secret life for four years, sneaking off to a justice of the peace to get married and then passing your husband off as your boyfriend now, would it?"

Avoiding the sharp eyes that had always seen too much as she was growing up, Amanda looked away. "It was a complicated situation, Mother."

"Yes, so Lee tried to tell us."

Amanda swallowed hard; she couldn't even begin to imagine that conversation. Or how Lee must have felt, left alone to unravel the intricate web of lies they'd spun. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I never meant for you to find out like . . . like that."

Dotty took her hand. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry. My goodness, a miracle brings my daughter back to me, and all I can do is to call her on the carpet for something I learned to accept a long time ago." She tucked a strand of hair behind Amanda's ear. "Let's agree to leave the past where it belongs for now, shall we?"

A muscle quivered around her jaw as she studied the sofa's nondescript beige upholstery. "If only it was that simple."

"It is that simple, darling. The proof is just one floor below us, in pediatrics." She squeezed her hand. "I've seen your little Annie. She's an absolute angel. Of course she was sound asleep at the time . . ."

"Just wait until she's wide awake. That child can get into more mischief than Phillip and Jamie combined."

"So she has her father's personality as well as his looks then," Dotty said, with a laugh.

Her fingers twisted the drawstring on her pants. "She'll be thrilled to meet you. Annie was so excited to find out she had a grandmother. She's missed not having an extended family, like other children . . . Brad's been there for her, of course, but it's not exactly the same . . ." She wrung her hands as she felt her mother's eyes on her again. "I suppose you've heard—"

"About your fiancé?" Dotty's eyebrows arched. "As a matter of fact, Lee and I were just discussing him."

She let out a little gasp. "Lee's awake? You've seen him?"

Dotty nodded. "When I arrived, you were nowhere to be found, so I sat with him. I didn't want him to be alone when he regained consciousness."

She squirmed in her seat. Her mother's statement sounded entirely too much like a criticism. "Mr. Melrose needed to debrief me. It really couldn't wait . . ."

"If you say so, dear—I'm sure you know better than I do how these things work." Dotty blew out a sharp breath. "It's just that I know Lee's not particularly comfortable in hospitals. Not after . . . well, never mind," she added, "what matters now is that he's going to be just fine."

"I know. I talked to Dr. Scardelli earlier about his condition. It's just that it was important for me to give Billy the information as soon as possible . . ."

Dotty extricated Amanda's hand from her mouth. "Then what's bothering you so much that it's got you chewing on your fingernails?"

Her cheeks flushed; trust her mother to call her on that old childhood habit. Strangely enough, before all this happened, she couldn't remember the last time she'd bitten her fingernails. "How . . . how is he?" she asked.

"Awake, alert and itching to get out of that bed." Dotty smiled and nudged Amanda. "But why don't you go see for yourself."

"I . . ." She let out a tremulous breath. "I can't."

"Amanda . . .?"

She pushed off the couch and crossed to the large ficus in the corner, her trembling hands fingering the wilting leaves. Someone should take better care of it; the plant was developing scales.

"Amanda." Her mother's voice was stronger this time, more insistent. "What is it, darling?"

Tears pooled in her eyes as she turned to Dotty. "I can't face him, Mother. Not after everything that's happened, everything I've done . . ." She tried to jam her hands into her pants' pockets then, remembering she was wearing surgical scrubs, folded her arms across her chest instead.

There was relief in Dotty's smile. "Of course you can, darling. He's your husband. He loves you."

"He shouldn't." She rubbed the skin on her arms, trying to brush the gooseflesh away. "Not after the way I've ripped apart his life. Then shoving Brad under his nose, forcing him to watch . . ." She shuddered. "And when I discovered he'd kept the truth about our marriage from me, I practically demanded a divorce."

"A divorce . . ." Dotty rose and walked stiffly across the small alcove. "Is that what you really want?"

Her mouth tightened. "After everything that's happened, it might be the easiest way . . . for both of us."

"'The easiest way'," her mother echoed, her expression of concern turning decidedly stony. "Yes, I suppose it would be easy to wash your hands of everything that's happened here and start a brand new life. But would it make you happy?"

"Brad's a good man, and we'd have a good life together . . ."

"I'm sure." Dotty regarded her sharply. "And if in the end things didn't work out then it wouldn't hurt quite so much, would it?"

Walking away from her mother, she sat down on the far edge of the couch. "I don't know what you mean," she said, bending the dog-eared corner of the armguard. She half-hoped her mother would take the hint and end the conversation, but Dotty determinedly followed her across the room and sat beside her.

"Stop pretending, Amanda." Her voice was lovingly stern, as only a mother's could be. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's one of the reasons that you never came clean to us about your marriage to Lee in the first place."

She jerked around to glare at her mother. "I couldn't tell you because of national security—"

"Poppycock. Don't you dare feed me that tired line about 'need to know', Missy. This is your mother you're talking to." Taking her by the arms, she gave her a gentle squeeze. "What is it you're so afraid of?"

"So . . . so much has happened," she began haltingly.

"No, Amanda. If that's all it was, then I wouldn't be so concerned. After all, it's perfectly natural to have doubts, especially after everything you and Lee have been through." Dotty patted her daughter's knee. "But it's more than that, isn't it?"

Tears trailed down her cheeks, and she didn't even attempt to wipe them away. Her mother knew her far too well. "I just don't know . . . I mean, I'm afraid of . . . of needing him that much . . . letting him need me . . . look what happened to both of us because of that . . ." Her words dissolved into a strangled sob.

Dotty calmly opened her purse and retrieved a tissue. Handing it to Amanda, she said softly, "I know, darling."

She let out a shaky breath. "I've been someone else for the past five years, Mother. When I woke up in the hospital, with no memory of the person I'd been . . . well, for two solid months, that tiny room was the only world I knew. Then, when I finally realized that I had to build some kind of life for my baby, I somehow found the courage to move to Harrisville and start again."

"It had to be very difficult for you."

"Yes, well, I didn't have much choice in the matter. Without a past, you can only look forward. I thought . . . I thought I finally knew where I was going, what the future was going to be. Raise my daughter, marry a good man . . . Now, suddenly, everything is turned upside down again—I know where I've been but I haven't got the slightest clue where I'm headed."

"There are people here who are more than ready to help you figure that out—people who love you very much."

"I don't . . . I don't want to hurt anyone," she whispered.

"You can't avoid that, I'm afraid. You have a husband and a fiancé. Someone is bound to be hurt in this situation." Dotty clutched her hand. "Just don't let fear drive you into making the same mistake you made with Joe."

She pulled her hand away. "I don't know what you mean."

A quiet sigh escaped Dotty' lips. "Joe King was a very sweet boy who grew into an even sweeter man—a nice, safe man who didn't rattle your insecurities. A man you could still love even when things didn't work out between you."

Amanda absently wiped away her tears. "You knew that?"

"I'm your mother, darling," Dotty smiled sadly, "and I love you dearly. But I'm not blind. Goodness, Amanda, you were practically as close to Joe after the divorce as you were when you were married. That's certainly telling, isn't it?"

She hugged herself, willing her body to stop shaking. "I suppose it is."

"Don't get me wrong—I love Joe, I always have. Even when I don't agree with some of the things he does. And I'm more thrilled than I can say that he's finally found someone who really shares his dreams. He's a wonderful, caring person." She took a breath and caught Amanda's eye. "Much like this Dr. Stevenson of yours, I imagine."

Hiccupping, she forced back another round of tears. "That's what Lee said, too. Only he didn't put it quite so politely."

Dotty laughed. "I can well imagine. Your Mr. Stetson—now there a complicated, challenging man, if ever I met one. Yes, I do see what you mean. He's definitely not the easy road." She lifted an eyebrow. "If that's really what you're looking for, of course."

"Oh, Mother." Amanda pulled Dotty into a tight hug. "I've missed you more than I can say."

Dotty rubbed Amanda's back. "I've missed you, too, sweetheart. And I'm here for you now—whatever you decide."

Disentangling herself from her mother's arms, she looked down at the rumpled Kleenex clutched in her hands. "I'm so ashamed of the mess I've made of things," she whispered, carelessly shredding the edges.

Dotty placed her hands over Amanda's. "You're being awfully hard on yourself, darling. The majority of this 'mess', as you call it, stemmed from circumstances beyond your control. You aren't responsible for what those awful Brimstone people did—"

"Lee told you all that?" she asked incredulously.

"Just a few basic facts," Dotty said quickly. "Nothing classified."

Amanda smiled. "I'm not going to turn him in, Mother. I'm just glad . . . well, that he had someone to help him through this."

"If only I'd been there for him from the beginning, then maybe he wouldn't have come so close to . . ." She bit back her words.

"It's okay," Amanda said gently. "Francine told me what happened—all of it. Including how the two of you helped Lee pull through after his . . . accident."

"Yes, well . . ." Dotty cleared her throat. "Lee's become much more than a son-in-law to me."

She slowly rose. "I can see that."

"Amanda—"

"You know, what I really need to do right now is find my own clothes and then check on the boys," she said before her mother could launch into another discourse. Fatigue shook her body; however true her mother's observations might be, she simply couldn't hear any more at the moment. "Will you do me a favor?"

There was a look of resignation in Dotty's eyes as she stood up. "Anything, darling, you know that."

"Could you sit with Annie, in case she wakes up? The nurse has been wonderful, but I'd feel better if she had family with her."

"I'd be happy to." Dotty's smile broadened. "I have no intention of letting that granddaughter of mine out of my sight for quite some time. You take all the time you need to do . . . whatever it is you need to do."

"Thanks. After I see the boys, I do need to talk to Lee . . . sort out some things between us. You were right." She set her chin firmly. "I've procrastinated far too long, and that's not fair. To anyone."

Her mother nodded her understanding then walked to the elevator. Amanda smiled bleakly; she could only hope that, once she explained things, Lee would understand as well.