11th of May 2005

Word from Starry: Hello everyone! I am back on this day with a new chapter for this fic! I apologize for making you wait -oh and also for not updating my other stories, for those of you waiting- but well I had a death in the family and I just couldn't get myself to really write and stuff. Of course I am now starting to work on the fics once more and hopefully I'll update before I graduate! Which is in June 23rd.

To me writing in first person POV is difficult and I hope I didn't screw it up or sucked in this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Starfire or any other Teen Titan or anything that has to do with their world.

"Come on Star! You need to get out more!"

I stared at the door and decided to ignore friend Beast Boy who was on the other side of it. I did not wish to go out and participate with them in eating pizza. Well not as long as friend Raven was unconscious and that poisoned woman was there.

Two months had already passed and Raven was still the same… well a bit better and well we have to thank Poison Ivy, also known as Pamela, for that. She had inhabited our tower for two whole months now and Robin is enjoying this. For two whole months I would go to bed early and spend time talking to Raven when Pamela and Robin went out to eat.

I felt like a bird without the knowledge of flight, like a Bungorf without his Ginorfka's love in a sunny day. I would tell Raven how my heart would ache more and more every passing day due to the fact that Robin was no longer spending time with me. Pamela was his goal now, Pamela this or Pamela that were the only words that came out of his soft lips.

Silence. I sighed and felt relieved that friend Beast Boy had left my door. I was wrong.

"Starfire! Come out! I haven't seen you lately! Come on Star!"

I turned away from the door slowly and just hugged my soft pillow tighter. Why wouldn't he go away? Clearly the message I was trying to get through to him (that I was sleeping) should have gotten to him. When his knocking did not cease I got up and walked to the door to yell at him and tell him the bad word humans say 'leave me the fuck alone' or something like that when I heard another voice.

"Beast Boy! If she doesn't answer you after the millionth time of knocking and yelling it means two things… she's either sleeping or she's not there."

My heart felt oh so joyous at the sound of Robin's voice! I wanted to rip the door open, of course that would have been easy because of my Tamaranian powers, but I decided to just listen.

"Wow it's Robin! You know if you would pay attention you would see that Starfire hardly comes out of her room!" He paused and I placed my ear over the cold door in order to hear more. "Or wait… no since you are too busy with-"

"Beast Boy! Stop this nonsense talk! I won't let you talk to me like that. I am your leader and as your leader I ask you not to talk to me like that. I do notice and Starfire is ok, she is probably out because if she were sleeping you would have already woken her up with all your yelling."

My eyes widened and I felt my stomach hurting for Beast Boy. By the silence I knew that friend Beast Boy was glaring at Robin and with the 'swish' noise I knew that Robin had left. At that moment I opened my door and saw a very angry Beast Boy.

"Friend, I am sorry for not opening the door but I was not feeling well. If you wish to come in you may," I knew that if I did not hug him my stomach pain was going to get worse. I hugged him and he was as hard as a garfn. "I am sorry friend! I apologize I did not mean for Robin to act like that to you."

I felt him soften up a bit and then gently he stepped back and said, "No it's ok Star don't worry about it. Robin is just being a jerk… he needs to get a good ass whooping." He chuckled. "Anyways Cyborg and me are worried about you. We haven't seen you around for a long while and well Cyborg asked me to come and check up on you."

I heard the sincere ness in his voice and I smiled a bit. Oh he truly is a good friend! The moons of Tamaran would probably tell him a good future for being such a good friend.

"Oh I see. Well you can tell friend Cyborg that I am doing all right. I am just tired and well with friend Raven in a coma I am saddened and have no one to have 'girl talk'. That is why I am in my room most of the time. Please come in, I do not wish for Robin to find us here in the hallway." I said while grabbing his hand and pulling him into my room and closing the door after he was in.

He turned around and sighed before walking over to my bed and sitting down. I knew he was sad for our friend Raven and I also knew that he had those feelings for her. I smiled and then remembered Robin and I felt my stomach pain come back as Pamela came into my mind.

"Star? Err… I think the door is already closed…"

I looked to where he was looking and said "Oh!" as I noticed that I had made a bent in my door. Jealousy was at fault here! I stepped back, turned around and went to sit with friend Beast Boy.

"How is Raven doing? I pray to the moons of Tamaran that she is doing better." I said right after I sat down on my purple circular bed. I did not want him to ask me why I had done that to the door. That subject made me nervous and angry.

"Well Cyborg says that the charts are saying that she is doing better. I guess Poison Ivy is doing her job well." I tightened and clenched my hand while I gritted my teeth. "She says that once she finds the cure for the poison, Raven will wake up and she'll be ok."

"Will she leave then? When Raven is well… will that poisoned woman leave?"

It was already too late before I noticed that I had said it too loud. I immediately jumped off my bed and flew to my dresser where I began to fiddle with my blue hairbrush. I silently began to say those bad words at my self and wished that he had not heard me ask that oh so stupid question! Of course I knew that he had heard them and was probably going to ask me why I was asking this.

"Yeah she will leave when Raven gets better." I heard him say with a cheerful voice. I felt the pain in my stomach grow less and I bit my lip in order to keep me from screaming up to the moons of Tamaran for thanks.

"Star I know I shouldn't be asking this because… well because it isn't my business but… well do you really want Poison Ivy to leave?"

I slowly turned towards him and felt my cheeks grow very hot at this question. Surely I could not just tell him my feelings for Robin at this moment! Or could I? Could I share my deepest secret with him and have him help me get closer to Robin? No he would probably just laugh at me and then say 'Oh Star you silly girl! That is such a stupid crush!' No… friend Beast Boy would never say that… could he?

"Yes! I mean no… I do not know friend. You see I wish for friend Raven to get better but at the same time I…" Should I tell him? Oh Starfire yes he should know! He could probably help you! "I… well a part of me does want her to leave since she is a villain and I do not wish any harm upon my friends."

Way to go Starfire! You did not tell him… It is better if he does not know, less embarrassment for me. I know it is better if it is I and Raven with this knowledge. I looked up at him again and saw that he believed what I had said this made me smile inside. I did feel bad for lying to my friend but I just did not want to share my feelings with everyone, not yet.

"What about you friend? Do you wish to have Pamela out of our lives?" I asked him clearly hoping that he would say yes. Of course what he said did not really surprise me.

"No I don't… I mean she's the only one that can save Raven and well I want her to stay until Raven wakes up. Then she can leave… after I thank her of course."

I nodded slowly before turning away from him and taking interest into my carpet. It was still clean after all this time in living with the Titans. I always flew around that is why it wasn't really dirty.

I began to wonder what Robin was doing and then Pamela popped into my head. I knew he and that 'poisoned' woman were probably together enjoying some ice cream or something sweet. I forgot about Beast Boy being in the room and I let out a scream and decided to just beat up my bed.

Clearly my friend was frightened and concerned for he jumped off my bed and ran to my side where he hugged me and began to ask me what was wrong.

"Star! Star! What's wrong? What's happening?" I heard him shout at me. I heard the fear in his voice.

I immediately stopped and prayed the moons of Tamaran that he would not run out and tell Robin about this stage of mine. In Tamaran this is normal when one is jealous but here in Earth they are strange and people look at you and call you 'crazy' when they see these actions. I turned and faced my friend and stared deep into his eyes.

"Please forgive me friend but I… I…" Could I possibly tell him my feelings for Robin? No! I have already decided that no one will know! "I am just tired… that is all friend. I do apologize for my actions and wish you would not mention it to anyone… please friend I am truly sorry." I said.

I felt my voice shake a bit and knew that if he did not leave soon he was going to see small rivers running down my cheeks. What has gotten into me?

Jealousy.

"No Star, it's ok. I know you're tired so I'll just leave you here to rest. I won't tell anyone about this ok? Just promise me you'll call me if you need anything ok?"

Who knew that friend Beast Boy was now being serious to me? Oh if friend Raven were here to see this she would probably make my bed explode!

"Alright friend… goodbye."

I saw him smile and then nod before walking out of my sliding doors.

I sighed and felt relieved in being alone once more. I threw myself on my bed and just stared at my pillow. Could the grabbing of the pillow and screaming into it work? I looked up at my ceiling and just shrugged before placing my head on the pillow.

It felt very good to have screamed in that pillow for three hours straight! Of course now my voice is shaky and it breaks when I try to talk. But the feeling is so joyous! I feel as if a rock has been lifted off me. Thank the moons of Tamaran for these Earth customs!

I smiled at no one and turned to see my clock that said it was 7:37 in the afternoon. I realized that I had not gone to see Raven the whole day. I quickly got up and flew out my door when it slid open, I did not slow my flight for I did not want to see Robin or Pamela. I knew Pamela got out of the lab at 7:00pm and did not go back until 9:00pm. Why you ask? Well because she was out with Robin.

Oh how my stomach began hurting at that thought and I felt the want to go back into my room and just beat my purple bed. I finally arrived to Raven in the Medical Wing, slowly I opened the door and stepped inside the white room.

Friend Raven looked like she was sleeping and I felt a tug of sadness in my heart, she looked the same as the day that I had brought her here. I walked closer to the bed and sat down in the small blue sofa beside the bed and held her hand.

"Oh friend I wish you were well! I cannot stand this Pamela that is staying here at our home. She has done nothing against me but… well… I have feelings for… for Robin, and this Pamela seems to be taking him away from me. She is always around him and he is around her as well. They go out to eat together and they play those games… what do you Earth people call them? Oh yes! They do these 'flirting games', which I do not like. Oh friend I miss you! Please come back to us… Beast Boy he has changed without you…"

I paused for a noise outside the door got my attention. Could it be Beast Boy listening to what I am going to tell her of him? With one look at Raven I sent my attention back on the door and slowly got up. I quietly flew to the door and very carefully looked through the small window in the door. What I saw made me wish I had not looked.

There a few feet from the Medical Wing's door was Robin and Pamela kissing! Oh moons of Tamaran please send your rays of death and take my unloved spirit out now! My stomach began to hurt like a numil fire had just gone off. I felt the drops of water slide down my cheeks and my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to jump out of my body and die at their feet.

What could I do? How can I get out of here? I must get out before they see me like this! Oh Amaryllis Goddess of Love please have mercy on me and let them go away so that I can hide myself in my room! Please!

I closed my eyes very tight and when I opened them I silently thanked Amaryllis and quickly flew straight to my room. I felt sad for I did not even say goodbye to friend Raven, but she would understand.

When I heard the low noise my door always makes when it closes I stopped my ability of flight and I helplessly fell to the floor where I began to cry and silently scream for Geuna Goddess of Death to come and claim my spirit as hers!

The pain I was feeling was so big that I felt like if the only relief was to just explode or throw myself out of my window. Why was my heart beating like crazy? Is it a typical Tamaranian feeling when one has had their heart broken? I turned away from the window and faced the floor and continued to cry. I silently told myself that I was not to come out of my room until friend Raven got well.

Starry: So how was it? Hopefully it didn't suck! I think it was an ok chapter.

I am planning to make this story 5 chapters long... so it's not really a long story.

Thanks to all my reviewers who reviewed and I hope they like this chapter! Please review and tell me what you thought of it or if you have any questions! Thank you!