21 August 2005

A word from Starry: Ok this is the last chapter for this story and I'm updating the same day I updated the fourth chapter. So be happy! I am not planning/writing a sequel to this story ok? Ok? Thanks! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans!

Funny thing time is, very amusing. It works in such beautiful ways, slow and beautiful ways. Looks like friend Raven was right when she said that time heals all wounds. Or at least trying to…

After that night with my small encounter with Robin, everything seemed to have turned into a good turn. Friend Raven came out of the Medical Wing and in a few days she was out and about just like old times. Everyone was not surprised when she and Beast Boy announced that they were a couple. Friend Cyborg said that it was finally time that they have come together. I hugged her and him and suggested in rejoicing with pizza, which we did and Robin congratulated them by giving them one day of a break.

Pamela went back to Arkham and Robin was devastated. The only thing that made him happy was the fact that she got ten years cut from her sentence. I asked Cyborg about them having been five years and he replied with, "Robin went to talk to them…"

My decision was going in a good direction so far and I was content. At first it had been very difficult, but with the help from the moons of Tamaran, I managed to make it work.

Right now we are sitting in the common room watching a movie and it has been a few months after Pamela's departure. No one has spoken of her in front of friend Robin because he gets angry and then locks himself up in his room. This saddens me because that is not the way he would act before.

"Star?"

With all this thinking, I did not notice friend Beast Boy talking to me.

"Star, the movie is over. It's time to go to bed, come one."

I look around and see everyone else making their way to the hallway that lead to our dormitories. I nod and slowly get up, making sure I stretch before beginning the steps towards my chamber.

Everyone says goodnight and friend Raven and Beast Boy walk out together talking about the film we have just watched. I notice friend Cyborg walking over to where the security panel is and he begins to type in the codes and such to keep us safe at night. I see Robin sitting on the couch and shrug before continuing to my destination.

On my way through the dark hallways my mind began drifting off to the distant memories that once made me happy. Memories where Robin would help me when I first came here, where he would hold my hand and smile at me when I stared back at him. I do not know why I ever felt the small insects in my stomach at the thought of that. Perhaps I had been under some kind of spell, the kind that friend Raven has in some of her books.

"Star!"

I turn around and study the person who has just called my name.

"Is there a problem, friend?" I asked.

Robin takes a few steps towards me before continuing to speak. "Star, I need to talk to you."

"Have I done any wrong deed?" I asked with curiosity at why he is requesting this.

"No, you haven't done anything wrong. On the contrary, you've been so good to me and I've just been a jerk to you…"

My hands begin to get perspiration and I find that the hallways has become a very small place at the moment.

"Why do you say this?"

"I—Listen Star, I wanted to apologize to you for the way I was when Raven was in a coma. I was just scared of losing a teammate, a friend and I just needed to find someone who could save her."

I just stared at him without saying anything and when he realized I was not going to speak, he continued.

"I was wondering if you—Well if maybe you wanted to go out tomorrow night to get some ice cream, or whatever you wanted…"

The feeling I was trying to locate was not present and I knew it was not going to show up. He was late, very late.

"I am sorry to announce that I can not do that, friend—"

"Can you stop calling me that!"

I had not expected him to interrupt me like that with a very angry tone.

"You are my friend are you not?" I asked, my voice rising a bit more to the volume his voice had had.

"Yes but why can't you be like we were before, huh? Why do you always call me 'friend' or 'friend Robin' and not 'Robin' anymore, huh? Why not?" I noticed his gloved hands were into fists at his sides.

I was confused and at the same time surprised at his reaction. Why was he doing this at this time of night? Why did he want me to call him just 'Robin'? I did not see anything wrong with calling him 'friend' or 'friend Robin'.

"Friend, I do not—"

"Don't call me that!"

"Why not! Are you not my friend? I do not see any problem in what I call you! Do you wish for me to call you, Lover or perhaps you want what those disgusting girls call their overweight partner, 'baby'?"

My tone held nothing friendly, he was yelling at me for no reason so I did not see anything wrong in yelling back at him.

"You can try calling me by my name you know, Robin? You call Raven by her name and Beast Boy by his and Cyborg the same, but you only call me 'friend' or 'friend Robin'." His tone was now matching mine. "Why can't we just go back to how we were before?"

"BECAUSE I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON. THE OLD STARFIRE HAS DIED AND A NEW ONE HAS BEEN BORN! THE OLD STARFIRE WAS ONE THAT HAD HOPES OF FINDING LOVE IN SOMEONE WHO WAS INTERESTED IN SOMEONE ELSE. THE OLD STARFIRE HURT EASILY AND WAS VERY IGNORANT OF A LOT OF THINGS. THE NEW STARFIRE IS NOT, SHE IS SMARTER AND IS NOT INTERESTED IN THAT PERSON OR FINDING THE LOVE OF THAT PERSON." I took a few breaths before continuing, I needed to calm down. 'You see Robin, we can not go back to how we were before because my heart does not beat for you anymore! You are very late friend, very late. My heart has been poisoned…"

I felt my heart beating fast and the hall seemed to have gone back to its normal size. I continued staring at him as if I were going to burn right through him, before turning around and walking to my room. I ignored the rest of my friends who had come out of their dormitories to see what the commotion had been about.

Just as I was about to enter the safety of my room, the Titan's alarm went off. Pushing aside the event that had just taken place, I ran to the common room where everyone else was.

"It's a robbery taking place at the docks, we must go now! Titans let's go!" shouted Robin. I figured he was pushing aside the previous event.

Friend Raven teleports herself out of the room and friend Beast Boy changes into a prehistoric bird and grabs friend Cyborg and begins carrying him off towards the docks. I am about to fly off but remember that it is my duty to carry our leader to the battle scene.

I turn towards him and stare at him again. I'm anxious to get to the crime scene and stop those villains.

"Look Star, I can just walk, it's ok—"

I ignore him and immediately pick him up from his shoulders and fly off towards the docks. I try to resist the urge to drop him and to kiss him and tell him I detest him and that I have moved on. He keeps saying that he can walk and that I do not need to take him. This annoys me so I speak up.

"When we joined the team, you said we should not let emotions and feelings between teammates get in the way when we are going to fight crime. Right now, we have a city to save, so let us not talk about it. You are the leader of the team and I intend to listen to what you said way back then."

I felt the want to shed some tears but at our current condition, I could not afford to do so. He had indeed said that in our early days and I intended to follow those orders. I felt satisfied when he did not speak anymore. Upon arriving at the crime, I dropped him off and he began to fight some thieves. I landed and I too began to fight with the masked men.

A man grabbed me from behind and was about to cut my throat, but my Tamaranian strength helped me when I grabbed his hand and pulled him over my head. While I continued to punch and throw the evil men, my mind could not help but wander off to what had happened earlier at the tower.

I know I was not to be thinking of any of it here but I just could not help it. What had been the sudden change in him? Did his dear Pamela and him argue and was I to be his pick up? This thought enraged me and I punched a fat man beside me with all my strength, sending him flying a few feet off towards the water. I did not care, my feelings were all running to my head right now. Thoughts and fighting, do not mix well for me, especially if they are hurtful thoughts like the ones I was having now.

I could not believe him, how could he do that to me? Did he think that just because I was from another planet and did not have that much knowledge on this world that he could just play with me like that?

Am I making a big deal of this? Should I give him another chance and see if my heart will re-open for him?

I continued to think this the remainder of the battle. When we were done with handing the thieves to the police, we all went back to the tower. Robin asked Beast Boy to fly him and I took friend Cyborg home instead. I did not exchange words with any of them. I was tired and not in the mood to converse.

When we arrived the time was 4:45 A.M. and all I hoped to do was go and lay down in my comfortable bed. After landing friend Cyborg safely down, I said good morning to my friends before walking towards my room. I decided to fly to get there faster and end this dreadful night already.

I stopped in mid air when I saw Robin standing there in front of my door with his arms crossed over his chest. I flew down to the floor and glared at him before taking a few steps towards him.

How dare he block me from my room?

"Can you please excuse me, Robin, I am very tired and wish to just sleep. If you want, I will continue this talk with you tomorrow." I was not in the mood for any talking at this point. I knew that if this kept up, we would be leaderless.

"No."

I clenched my fists and took a step towards him. "I warn you Robin, I am in no mood of conversing at the moment. If you do not wish to be 100 miles from here, I suggest we leave this until tomorrow…"

"Star, don't…"

I ignored friend Raven's request and continued to glare at Robin. Why was he tormenting me like this? Had he not done enough by tormenting by poisoning my heart?

"Starfire, what if I told you that I did all of the things you saw a while ago just to make you jealous? That you are the one I love and that Pamela was just there to help me to win you?"

I was no longer glaring at him and felt as if a cloud had just gone into my mind. Why would he do that to me? No, Robin is not the Robin I thought he was.

"You are not Robin, Robin does not act like this and why would you do that? Why did you not just tell me your feelings? I saw you kiss Pamela and then you were sad when she left and you said to me that the love of your life was gone—"

"I was talking about you! Raven talked to me after you left to your room, she told me about your feelings and everything and I told her what I had been doing and she said it was stupid. She told me that you had made your decision and it was to forget me! That's why I was out that night in the kitchen, because I love you Starfire, I love you."

I quickly turned to look at Raven who looked at me and did not blink nor look away. I felt hurt and betrayed at that instant. Is that why friend Cyborg had said, "Look I understand, so don't worry ok? Just give him some time and space and you'll see a change. Trust me." Did he know of the plan as well? Was this even true?

When I looked back at Robin, I almost screamed because he was right in front of me. He lifted his hands and placed them on my shoulders before closing the distance between us and making his lips come in contact with mine.

Coming to my senses I pushed him off and looked at him with disgust. He was too late and there was no chance of him ever being with me… correct?

"I—I—Please…" I could not finish, a bubble formed in my throat and made tears come out of my eyes. I ran to my room pushing Robin and locking the door once it was closed. I threw myself on my bed and cried and cried.

I was confused, my head was going in circles and it was getting even more cloudy. Nothing was clear. Robin had done all that to get me jealous? Why had Raven told him that?

I punched my bed and grabbing a pillow, I decided to do the 'screaming into a pillow for three hours' ritual.

Completing the ritual, I lifted my head from the pillow, turned around and lay there staring at my ceiling. Thoughts of what had happened since the arrival of Poison Ivy kept running through my mind. I remembered when Robin was getting ready to leave, how he had been annoyed at my questions. When they had arrived he was so protective of her and when she visited me in my room how he acted around her. How right at the moment I was visiting Raven they had to kiss outside the room. When they had entered and were discussing about Pamela's departure and Cyborg saying that Robin had talked to the people to give her five more years off.

I closed my eyes and opened them again slowly. I had built a wall around my heart from the talk I had had with Raven that day when she awoke. Now it seemed, that with that kiss, that poisonous kiss the walls were starting to crumble.

I turned to my side and felt an all to familiar feeling creeping back. Had I betrayed myself too when I didn't push Robin off with my Tamaranian strength but with no force at all so he would not get hurt? Did I betray them when I let him kiss me?

I felt tears start to fill my eyes once more making me get angry at myself for being so weak. I wrapped my sheets around my clenched hands and started pulling them around me. My heart was now beating the same beat it had been beating a few months before. How could this happen Geuna?

"Star?"

I moved my gaze towards the door and stared at it, it was him outside the door. Waiting for me. Waiting to see if I have changed my decision. Waiting to know if I will forgive him. Waiting to see if he can hold me and kiss me. Waiting there to continue to fill my heart up with sweet poison…

Starry: So how was the ending? I hope you guys enjoy it and if not, then my heart breaks!

I had the choice of two endings. 1.) Robin really loving Pamela and Starfire moving on and him benig all rotten 'cause Pam isn't going to be out for a long time. 2.) This one. I liked this one better, thus I chose it.

I won't be writing a sequel to this so use your pretty imagination ok? Thanks to all my reviewers and readers out there! I love you guys! Keep up the good work.

Please review.

- StarryRavenFire