Nobody Knows
Part 4.
Andrince
Diclaimer: DBZ and Nobody Knows aren't mine.
"I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I nobody without someone like you
I'm trembling inside and nobody know it but me
I lie awake, it's a quarter past three I'm screaming at the night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is calling you
And nobody knows it but me"
"Yes, I would too, But I have class" Gohan agrees. He stands up and starts toward the hall.
"What time will you be home? Pan's supposed to call around five-thirty. They're taking that vacation this wee, you won't be able to talk 'til next if you miss it," Chi-Chi reminds him.
"I'll try, but if I'm not just have her call my cell, 'Kay? I can tell Chi-Chi doesn't like this idea, but she nods in agreement anyway. She doesn't look up for a yelling match today, she looks pale and the thin lines on her forehead and eyes are more defined.
"Are you going to check on the boys yet?" She asks with a bit of a tired sigh.
"Well I'll give them a little time first. They might spot me if I try now," I say while focusing on the boys' energy. They're flying toward capsule corp.
"You, at least, will be home for pan's call, wont you? I asked Goten and he wont be here. Do we want her to think our whole family has better things to do?" She asks in a pleading voice.
"I'll try really hard," Lie. I don't fell like coming back so soon. Pan won't mind much anyway; I'm always awkward on the phone.
She's not satisfied with my answer either, but I decide to cut in before she can say something.
"I think I'll head out now, I wanted to get some meditating time in today," I say while standing.
"Love you," She callas I make my way to the door.
I wave at her though the kitchen window in reply. I walk the narrow dirt road a while, a mile or two. I think of him as I walk. Vegeta always walked a lot. Especially if something was bothering him. May be it helped him think; maybe it will help me think. But then again, maybe not, I need a quiet place to sit and think. The dirt is still soft after last weeks rain, the sun is out but it's not beating down harshly. The breeze ruffles my hair as I quicken my pace to a jog.
I feel the wind become harsher as I take off, flying at a low level. My pace is slow, but steady as I decide where to go.
I fly for a time, maybe an hour. Thoughtless, just drifting, I make my way to one of my favorite spots. As the tinkle of water falling on rocks reaches my ears I land with a soft thud.
The small waterfall, usually no more than a trickle looks more like a small river today. With rain in mid-may and temperatures in the 90's the small 8ft waterfall is rushing.
Quickly spotting some shade fairly close to the water I throw myself down on the soft damp grass.
I lie there a moment, lost in thoughts of Vegeta. My mind lands on the last time I was here. He was here with me. As I roll over nudging my face into the cool fresh grass the memories come back to me.
"And why in the hell would you bring me here?" Vegeta asked half-heartedly.
"'Cause," I say happily, excited to have finally convinced Vegetas to visits one of my favorite spots. "It's beautiful and no one comes here except me. No one knows where it is." I finish pointedly.
He stops for a second the says thoughtfully "But it wouldn't take them much if they wanted to, all they would have to do id find our energy."
I pause taken back for a second at Vegeta's open display of fear of being caught.
"Oh, 'Geta you worry to much." I say the turning to him I add, "no one'll see us."
A twinge of pink decorates his pale cheeks as he adds," I wasn't worried about them."
"Then neither will," I reply not completely truthful. Vegeta meant he wasn't worried about his family finding out about us. I meant that I wasn't worried about my family finding out about us today.
I knew that both my boys had things planed, and even if they didn't it's rare for them to come find me in the day.
"Come on, let's just enjoy the day. I brought blueberries." I say opening my nap sack in search of the blanket and seeing the small plastic containers. Vegeta once mentioned blueberries tasted like something that used to grow on his home planet, as I remember it he said the plant looked a lot like fat bananas and grew to be about a foot long under really moist ground.
I spread the thin blue blanket over the grass and look around for Vegeta. He' sitting on a flat rock near the water, staring up at the overcast sky. It was pretty cold that day near the end of winter.
Vegeta had his arms wrapped around his compact chest and an oddly say expression on his youthful face. I walked toward him with the intention of wrapping my arms around him too, but as I approached the rock he quickly stood up and side stepped me.
He walked over to the blanket and sat down near the edge without looking at me. I settled for taking Vegeta's spot on the rock, not wanting to anger him with more attempts. He was in a very strange mood today, I could tell as soon as I arrived for our usual training. He announced quickly that he wasn't in the mood for sparring. Even stranger is when he asked a bit awkwardly if we cold do something else.
You could only imagine my surprised delight.
But now things were all mixed up, I thought while looking over at a Vegeta that was still avoiding my gaze.
Usually I'd know I wasn't going to get what I wanted, but I'd press him for it anyway. Now I might get what I want, but I couldn't press him for it in case he changed his mind. The waiting was killing me.
I watched Vegeta pull his legs close to his chest and wrap his arms around them. He laid his head on his knee still with a sad board expression on his beautiful face.
"If you're cold I've got an extra blanket love," I told him wanting to fill the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between us.
Vegeta gives me a look and snorts at the nickname, before scooping up the nap sack I had left near the blanket.
In a matter of seconds he's wrapping a think deep purple blanket around his shoulders and opening a clear plastic container. He shifts the contents of the container around a bit before choosing two or three of the tiny berries and popping them into his mouth.
A bitter smile forms on his luscious lips, as he appears to be lost in thought. After a couple of minute he speaks in a sort of choked voice.
"Want some?"
I walk over and take a seat near him reply. He hands me the container and I quickly choose a handful of berries without taking my eyes off Vegeta After a moment he opens one side of the blanket that was draped over his shoulder in an invitation.
I immediately accept, scooting closer to my prince. Our bodies touching I wrap my arm around his waist underneath the blanket. When he doesn't show any sign of pulling away I pull him closer, pressing his small form against my side.
"I love you," I whisper in his ear.
"Don't say that," he says, not in his usual annoyed voice, but a softer one.
"Why? It's true," I say startled by his odd behavior.
"Because I don't want to hear it." He looks up and tells me, sounding more like his usual self.
"But you do feel the same, don't you? I ask.
"Leave it,"He growls in a dangerously low voice.
"You love me." I tell him in an almost pleading voice.
He doesn't answer, but after a moment he exhales deeply and turns, laying his head in my lap.
I begin stoking his hair as he looks over at the water.
"It is quite pretty here,' he say apologetically.
I bend down and kiss his forehead.
"Glad you like it, we'll have to come again on a better day," I say looking up at a sky that was clearly threatening rain.
"Today's perfect," Vegeta says as he rubs my bare ankle with his fingertip.
I chuckle before voicing something that had been on my mind most of the day.
"You're very agreeable lately, huh? You've been acting strange today," I say a bit nervously.
"Hnn," is all he says before lifting my shirt and beginning to kiss my stomach.
Amazed that Vegeta has decided to make the first move it's takes me a second to remember to remove my shirt to allow more access.
He kisses his way up my chest to my shoulder, then to my neck.
He shifts positions and sits in my lap, wrapping hiss powerful legs around my waist.
By the time his soft wet lips reach mine, my breathing his heavy and uneven. His velvet tongue enters my awaiting mouth and runs along my teeth. After a few minutes of passionate kissing he removes his lips and I fall backward onto the cold blanket gulping for air.
He lays his head on my bare chest, tracing his finger lazily around my hard nipple.
I feel cold unwelcome droplets of rain landing on my bare skin. His breath warm on my chest he says, "I do.."
Drifting out of my lustful haze I reply drowsily, "Huh?"
"Love you." He replies softly.
I'm left lying there, the pain in my chests seems to have spread to my entire body. All the way to my hands, which feel so weak I can't even close them.
Time seems to move differently after Vegeta left, I feel as if hours can drag on forever, but days leave me so quickly. I can't bring myself to believe he's been gone six months almost.
The tears seemed to have stopped now, leaving my damp face raw and puffy. They stopped somewhere around late afternoon, but it's night now I think while looking up at the star soaked sky.
I try to wonder where the day went. Somewhere in the hours of regret in left me, and I'm left staring up at the cold night sky.
I try and fail to get up several times, but my trembling limbs refuse. S I settle on lying here asking myself how I went back to this again.
I thought I had past this point. When he first left me I would spend hours crying, and then worry about where the day went after.
But just when I seem to have taken a step forward, I slip on an old memory and fall right back into my regrets.
Why didn't I say it? I knew I would have to sooner or later. Why didn't I just end the lies there? Why did he have to go?
As if expecting an answer the word, "Why?" escapes my mouth in a violent scream.
I slam my fist into the ground, the dirt collapsing under the pressure as more questions come to me.
Why didn't I do it there? That day when he first started acting strange? Why didn't I do something?
Bu then I realize I did do something, didn't I? I had been worried all day and I had asked him. He didn't answer…
My anger suddenly redirected I got to my feet and started screaming at the empty night air.
"Dammit Vegeta! How could you leave us! How could you leave me? You said you loved me! You said you fucking loved me you stupid bastard!" My voice is raw and sore as I scream as loud as my lungs will allow. Feeling weak again I collapse onto my hands.
On all fours trembling and crying I begin to speak again, my voice hoarse and low, "I love you, why did you go?"
The questions begin again; my mind always seems to torment me more when I'm broken.
Why did you go? Was it me? Is that why you needed proof that day? Did I make you unsure? Did someone find out? Did you plan it?
They flow in my unwilling mind. I do my best to answer them with the memories I have, but it never seems to satisfy me.
I'm almost certain of one thing though, I'm sure he planed it. Or at least expected it. He'd been acting strange for months before he left, why didn't I expect it? I should have. It all seems so clear now. Why didn't I see it then?
I lie there a while, doing my best to answer my busy minds questions. Then the most important question that had been plaguing my mind since Vegeta left returns as it always does.
Where did you go?
I felt Vegeta's energy leave the earth about an hour after it happened. He left so quickly I didn't have time to react; all I did was sit there numb beside Chi-chi with shock and disbelief.
I remember bursting in to tears before we g9ot home and her cursing Vegeta for upsetting me and trying to comfort me.
I stand up shakily and decide to find the answer to this question first.
This means a memory or .
Author's note: You have no idea what I went through to type this chapter. It was a nightmare. I lost the floppy I had half of it typed on, I had to rewrite over two pages of typing. Then for some reason, it didn't save. Had to retype the whole thing, but thankfully now I write it out on paper before attempting to type I and didn't have to rewrite anything. It's rather discouraging, having to rewrite something. I never feel it's as good as the first. But anyway I hope it was worth it. I'm hoping to finish this fic rather soon. I have a few other fics you might want to take a look at. Thanks to Mighty Agamemnon, An Angel's Silver Tear, and x The Chichi Slaughter House x for reviewing the 3rd chapter of Nobody Knows.
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