(August 14, 2005) So, I did my school shopping on Friday... And I'm very happy. I got a black shirt with Sesshoumaru on it, and a red shirt with Hiei & Yusuke. I almost don't want to wear them cuz I don't want anything to happen to them, y'know? Pathetic, yes. I'm probably gonna go get my schedule tomorrow, and find out what my homeroom is and crap... So huzzah for that... I hate school. But oddly enough, I'm not really dreading it. But I'm not looking forward to it, either. It's that, "Yeah, it's gonna happen and I can't change it. Life goes on." ...Which seems to be my philosophy for everything... Which is why I don't stress over things... Which is why I'll live longer than two of my three friends, and half the population of the world.

Now, to talk about something you care about: Thank you for the music recommendations! Especially to Lord of the dark Fluffiness, who gave me an immensely long list... I didn't even read all of it yet...I'm downloading Daft Punk right now (thank you akuavari. I love music with a dance beat)... Some people recommended things I already listen to. System of a Down, Nightwish, Metallica... Phantom of the Opera... Evanescence... I don't even remember what all...
Thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em coming! I DEMAND IT.

CHAPTER THREE
Lesson Three: Be on your Best Behavior

Hiei's first reaction when Kurama told him about the phone conversation was a lot of anger. He vanished spontaneously and came back a few hours later covered in sweat and missing his shirt. Kurama looked at him with question in his green eyes.

"I'm better now," the fire demon said, tossing his sword on the coffee table. He sighed and plopped down on the couch next to Kurama. "I'm not going to let you go alone, you know."

"Hiei..."

"Don't argue."

"Shadow can handle herself. You don't need to go with me to make sure she's okay."

Hiei frowned. "Why jump to the conclusion that I'm only worried about her?"

"Because you are," the boy replied, smiling.

"Hn. I know you can handle yourself, fox, and I know she can, too. Usually. But it's not in my nature to sit around and do nothing."

"I know."

"And?"

Kurama sighed. "If those girls truly are in danger this time, it's probably best we do what the kidnapper asked."

"Why you?" Hiei asked. "Whoever it is kidnapped both of them, and the dog. So why just you?"

"I don't know, Hiei."

The fire demon got up and grabbed his sword.

"Where are you going?" the fox asked suspiciously.

"Upstairs. Calm down. I'm not gonna do anything stupid."

"Sorry."

Hiei came back down after taking a shower, and was just about to sit down when the doorbell rang. He growled, but went and answered it, looking irritably up at Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"What?"

"Whoa, don't bite off my head, Hiei... Jeesh. We just came to hang out, like usual." Hiei continued looking at him irritably. "Um... so, you gonna invite us in?"

He sighed and stood aside. Kuwabara passed him with his cat clutched to his chest and paused.

"Um... that dog isn't here, is it?"

"No, she isn't," Hiei said bitterly. "And neither is her owner."

"Shadow? Shadow's not here?" Yusuke asked. "Where is she!"

Hiei shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know? Some boyfriend you are."

"Shut up."

The teen narrowed his eyes. "Did something happen?"

"Shadow and Eclipse have been... kidnapped," Kurama said from the doorway. Kuwabara's eyes widened.

"What! When? How? By who? Why aren't you trying to save them?"

"We are," Hiei spat. Then he looked away, "Well..."

"Well what?"

"Would you stop snapping at me like it's my fault!" the fire demon barked. Kuwabara hid behind Yusuke.

"You know, it was only a matter of time," the brown-eyed teen pointed out. "The way those two talked to strangers and such all the time..."

Hiei glared and Yusuke instantly cowered away.

"He does have a point," Kurama admitted. "They should be more careful."

"Thank you, Kurama!"

"Shadow is careful," Hiei said.

"Ha!"

"She is. She just doesn't act like it."

"She's like an atomic bomb waiting to go off, right?" Yusuke said sarcastically.

"Actually, she probably is."

The teen gave Hiei a funny look, then strolled over to Kurama and threw an arm around the redhead's shoulders. Lowering his voice, he asked, "Is Hiei talking about the same Shadow we are?"

"Yusuke..."

"Is Hiei... perhaps... under the influence of illegal substances?"

"Yusuke!"

"I'm kidding! So... Were they really kidnapped?"

"Yes!"

"Oh. Wow. I thought you were joking!" He ran his hand through his hair. "That's not good. So what are you doing about it? Did you get a ransom note or something?"

"Something like that." They all went to the living room and the fox explained what had happened.

"So you're just gonna SIT HERE for two days?" Kuwabara cried.

"I don't know that there's a whole lot else we can do," the fox snapped.

"I don't think whoever it is knew what they were undertaking," Yusuke chuckled.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, to keep those two girls quiet for that long would take nothing short of... well, nothing can keep them quiet apart from you two."

"That's what I'm worried about. They're so stupid they'll end up getting themselves killed before I can get there," Kurama muttered.

"Oh, but not Shadow. She's careful, remember?" Yusuke taunted.

"Shut up!" Hiei snapped.

"Somebody needs a hug! C'mere, Hiei!" The teen threw his arms wide and smiled. Hiei got up and left the room. Yusuke shuddered. "I thought he was gonna come over here and actually hug me. Then I would have worried."

"You should be worried anyways!" Kuwabara admonished. "They're our friends."

"Of course I'm worried. But they have managed to get out of life and death situations before... I'm sure there's nothing really to worry about, right?"

Kurama's cell phone rang. The second he answered it, sound exploded out of it, so loud he nearly dropped it from surprise. Yusuke smacked his hands over his ears. After a second, it quieted to a more bearable volume, like loud music instead of a jet taking off.

"HOW DO YOU MAKE THEM STOP?" somebody screamed over the singing voices. Kurama stared at the phone. Now he realized... it was Shadow and Eclipse singing. And their kidnapper had called him seeking help on how to shut them up.

Yusuke snatched the phone. "Why should we help you? I think you deserve it for kidnapping them, you bastard!"

"If they don't stop soon," Ryosei snarled, "I'm going to beat them upside the head with a metal pipe until they pass out in their own blood."

Shadow and Eclipse silenced instantly. Yusuke looked at the phone.

"What happened!" he asked.

"They... they stopped!"

Hiei appeared next to Yusuke, making him scream like a girl from surprise. "Jesus, Hiei!"

"HIEI!" exploded out of the phone. "I LOVE YOU!"

"What's going on?" the fire demon asked, looking at Kurama.

"They were singing and the guy called to find out how to stop them. They just stopped."

"What did he do!"

"Nothing."

"Threatened them," Yusuke corrected.

"I CAN HEAR HIEI'S VOICE!" Shadow's voice proclaimed happily. "It makes me want to SING!"

"NOOOO!" Ryosei shrieked as the girl took a deep breath. She let out a wolf howl, which Kokuei echoed, then started singing something in English, dancing as best she could while chained to a wall. "HOW DO YOU MAKE THEM STOP?"

Hiei snickered. "At least we know she's giving them hell."

Eclipse joined in singing.

"SHUT UP!" exploded out of the phone, directed at the girls. They didn't even lower their voices.

"Oh, shove it!" Yusuke snapped into the phone. "They're not even singing that loud anymore! Deal with it! At least they're good singers, not some tone-deaf morons."

"You don't understand! They've been singing since that phone call hours ago!"

Kurama snickered.

"I've tried everything short of sedatives to shut them up!" Ryosei continued. "I put duct tape over their mouths and they ATE IT! What sane creature eats duct tape! Then I put cloth gags in their mouths and they chewed through them, humming the whole time! And kept singing afterwards! I'm on my last nerve!"

"About all you can do with those two is wait it out. They'll stop on their own eventually," Yusuke advised helpfully.

"Who the hell are you, anyways? I called Kurama's cell phone."

"Kurama's here."

"Well put him on the damn phone. It's his girlfriend, not yours."

"Kurama, he wants to talk to you," Yusuke said, handing the fox his phone.

"Hello," Kurama answered, smirking.

"How do you make them stop?"

"Letting them go might do it."

"I can't let them go."

"Then there's nothing you can do."

"Can't I drug them?"

"Drugs don't effect them like normal people. You'll get a very negative effect."

"Like what?"

"Like them being hyper."

"What about elephant tranquilizers?"

"Elephant tranquilizers!"

Yusuke snickered. Hiei kicked him subtly, but hard enough to hurt a lot. He cringed and glared at his smaller friend.

"Okay, okay. I know I can't hurt them. I'm under or--I mean, I know better than to anger you."

Kurama nodded thoughtfully, but said nothing. Then he noticed something. "Why did they stop singing?"

Ryosei turned and looked at the girls. "My God! They're asleep!"

"See?"

"He said they'd stop after a while," Ryosei muttered to himself. He continued coldly, not seeming to realize he'd spoken aloud. "This doesn't change anything. You're still to come alone in two days at midnight."

"I know." He smirked. "You didn't really know what you were undertaking when you kidnapped them, did you?"

"I can handle it." He hung up.

Kurama snickered. "Sure you can." He stuck his phone back in his pocket.

"Well?" Hiei asked.

"I just learned a few things," the redhead said. "First, he's not working alone. In fact, this entire thing was not his idea. Second, he will not harm the girls. Or Kokuei, I'm sure. He slipped up and said he's under orders not to."

"And?" Yusuke prompted.

"Whoever kidnapped them... Knows them."

"How do you figure that?" Kuwabara asked.

"When they stopped singing, he muttered to himself. 'He said they'd stop after a while.' I don't think he realized he'd said it, because he didn't try to cover it up."

"Why would anyone who knows them want to kidnap them?" Yusuke wondered. "Wouldn't they know that's one of the stupidest things any creature could do?"

Kurama barely heard him. He was too busy putting together all the information, to try to figure out who the kidnapper was. It really wasn't too difficult.


The second Ryosei snapped Eclipse's cell phone shut, Karasu's voice spoke from behind him.

"What are you doing with that?"

The younger boy jumped, nearly dropping the phone. The crow snatched it out of his hand.

"You didn't call anyone, did you?" he asked sharply.

Ryosei's eyes grew wide and watery. "I'm sorry! But... but... I just couldn't handle them anymore!"

"What did you say?"

"I never mentioned your name... but I might have slipped up and let him know I'm not the one running this whole operation. I'm really sorry." He looked on the verge of tears.

Karasu frowned. "We can assume he's figured out who's in charge, then, right?"

"If he's as smart as you said..." His mind was working furiously to remember everything he'd said. "Please forgive me. I'll do anything."

"Normally... such a foolish mistake would be rewarded with death." Ryosei cringed. "But... since you've been good so far... and seeing as how I still need you..." He smirked after a short pause. "Those girls can drive anyone insane. Just don't let it happen again."

"Oh, thank you! I love you! You're such a kind and understanding master!" Shadow interrupted ecstatically, making both of them jump. Karasu turned to glare at her. "Yeah, hey, I don't mean to interrupt or anything right there or nothin'... but I have to go to the bathroom. Really bad."

The crow let out a heavy sigh. "Ryosei... take her down the hall to the bathroom."

"Yessir." The half-demon unchained her and they left the dungeon. After a moment, Karasu squatted down in front of Kokuei.

"It's really not your fault you're here you know."

Yes, the dog thought, it's entirely yours. I hold nothing against you, of course. She lunged out of her lying-down position with amazing speed and latched onto Karasu's arm, digging in her fangs and snarling, thrashing her head back and forth. Eclipse let out a whoop.

"RIP 'IM TO PIECES, KOKUEI! YOU'RE DA MAN!"

Shadow appeared in the doorway with Ryosei behind her. "Kokuei!"

Karasu managed to dislodge the dog's sharp teeth and send her against the wall behind her. She got up in a second and leapt at him again, but reached the end of her chain and flipped around, slamming into the floor with nothing more than a grunt of lost breath to show that it hurt.

"What the hell is wrong with your dog!" Karasu yelled angrily, cradling his bleeding and torn arm. Kokuei lunged to the end of her chain and stood on her back legs, barking furiously, blood-covered fangs shimmering in the dim light from the hallway. Then, suddenly, she stopped, trotted back to the corner, and lay down with her back to them.

"She says 'No hard feelings,'" Shadow said, grinning. "I guess she thought you needed it."

"Bring Shadow along," Karasu said to Ryosei, pushing past them to go out in the hall. "She's going to take care of this wound."

"I can, sir," Ryosei offered. "Really, I can."

"I said Shadow. Bring her."

"Yes sir," he sighed, grabbing Shadow's arm. He shut the door and dragged her down the torch-lit hall behind Karasu. They went upstairs, down a different maze of hallways, and entered something of an infirmary. Everything was lit by torches, everything was made of stone (except the beds and such). Same as everywhere else in this maze.

"This is a really odd place you have here, Karasu," Shadow said. "Why aren't there any windows?"

"Shut up, that's not important."

"Sorry. So, my patient... Sit." She pointed to a bed. Karasu obeyed and the girl pulled off his shirt with no regard to how the fabric pulling across his bloody, gashed-up arm might feel. He hissed in pain. Of course, she ignored him and grabbed his wrist, pulling his arm straight and putting his hand on the bed. "Oohh. Yummy. Look at all that blood."

Karasu sighed. "It does actually hurt, Shadow. If you could do something about that?"

"You can't take pain?"

"Of course I can!"

"Good. Good, good, good. Okay. I'll need... hot water, cloths, bandages, antibacterials, and pain killers."

Ryosei's eyes widened. Shadow rounded on him.

"This is an infirmary, isn't it? Don't you have hot water in this place? Tylenol? Bandages?"

"Of course we do," he said, and hurried off.

"Excellent." The girl went back to examining the wound. She yawned. "Karasu, can't you make someone else do this? Isn't it a little late?"

"It's night, yes. But you have to do this because your dog did the damage."

"But, y'know... you mean your lover can't? Er, lackey? Er... slave? Servant? Pawn?" She smiled innocently.

"No, he can't. He's not a doctor."

"Neither am I!"

"You're more of one than he is."

"I'm telling him you said that!"

"He heard me. He's only right over there." He gestured with his other hand. Ryosei was coming towards them with all the stuff Shadow had asked for.

"Excellent. This is going to hurt, Karasu, considering how I'm tired and you're forcing this upon me, and also how I'm very sore about being kidnapped, so I'm not in any frame of mind to care a whole shitload about your general well-being."

"Oh... Great."


Yusuke and Kuwabara stayed at Shadow's house, as did Kurama. The fox had made a rather solid guess at who the kidnapper was, and therefore couldn't sleep. He was sitting on the couch channel surfing when Hiei seemingly materialized out of the darkness.

"Can't sleep, fox?"

"No." He looked at his friend. "What about you?"

"Kuwabara's snoring could keep anyone awake."

Kurama smiled. "That's not why I'm up."

"I had guessed as much. You think you know who it was, right? You wouldn't say it earlier."

"Surely you have your theory, too, Hiei?"

"Of course I do. Putting together what you said, plus the fact that Karasu hasn't shown up yet today, and that the bastard wants you to come alone..."

"Yes..."

"Which is only one more reason for me to go with you."

"What, be my bodyguard?" He chuckled. "I appreciate it, Hiei, but..."

"Fine," Hiei said, cutting him off. He didn't sound angry or upset.

"I'm worried, though." Kurama flicked off the TV and sighed. "I know what he'll be demanding, and I can't give it to him."

"So just kill him."

"It sounds simple, doesn't it."

They lapsed into silence, both lost in their own thoughts.

Morning found the two demons asleep on the couch, Hiei's head pillowed on Kurama's thigh as the fox lay on his side. And of course, since Yusuke typically isn't a morning person, the one day he does manage to get up before noon was today.

The teen strolled into the living room in the same pair of jeans he'd worn the previous day, then slept in, wearing no shirt, and stopped dead. At least they weren't in each others arms, he thought. They could brush this one off, but he'd still give them hell about it. He cleared his throat to give them time to wake up before he reached them. Neither did, so he walked over to the couch and thought for a minute, then tapped Kurama's forehead several times with two fingers.

One eye snapped open instantly and he looked at Yusuke. Alert went to calm, to tired, to confused, and he moved slightly and looked at his leg. A small smile crossed the fox's lips. Yusuke put one finger to his lips to shush anything the teen was thinking about saying, and he stepped over to Hiei and jabbed him in the side. Hiei twisted away, grabbing Yusuke's wrist with one hand and his throat with the other. Instantly recognizing the boy when he actually bothered to look at him, he let go without harming him. Then he looked at Kurama, then back to Yusuke, and sighed.

"Okay, what did I miss out on this time?"

"You were sleeping on the fox's leg," Yusuke snickered. Hiei looked to Kurama, who smiled.

"I thought it was cute."

"Yay, now I'm cute," Hiei muttered sarcastically.

"You've always been cute, Hiei," Yusuke taunted. "I don't mean to sound like I'm hitting on you or something--"

"If anyone tried hitting on me by saying I was cute, I'd knock their teeth out."

"Nobody would hit on you, Hiei. You're a jerk, and you're taken."

"Thanks," the little demon muttered. Kurama sighed, then smiled slightly.

"I'll make breakfast." He got up and headed for the kitchen.

Shadow and Eclipse didn't wake up until shortly after noon. Yes, despite being chained to a wall, upright, they still managed to sleep for over 12 hours. Shadow woke up first, blinked, and started shouting instantly, before a single thought had even formed in her head. One had already formed in her stomach.

"KARASUUU! KA-RA-SUUU! KARA-SUUUU KA-RASU! KAR-ASS-EW! Car ass ew? Hahahaha!"

The door flew open and slammed into the wall.

"What?" It wasn't Car Ass Ew. It was Ryosei.

"Oh, good morning, darling."

"Afternoon," Ryosei corrected.

"Huh?"

"It's close to 1:00."

"Oh. Good afternoon, darling. I was trying to get Car Ass Ew's attention."

"Who?"

"Karasu."

"Karasu-sama is resting. What do you want?"

"Some breakfast, if you would be so kind."

Eclipse suddenly exploded. "YOU WOKE ME UP WITH ALL YOUR DAMN RUCKUS, RYOSEI!"

He gasped and his eyes widened with surprise. "What did I..."

"STOP BREATHING!"

Shadow just smiled when he looked at her with a shocked, clueless look on his face. "Some breakfast, if you would."

"IT'S SO LOUD!" Eclipse was continuing.

"I-I-I'll..."

"AND OBNOXIOUS! YOU BREATHE SO OBNOXIOUSLY, RYOSEI!"

"I'll just..." He ran from the room, shutting the door behind him. Eclipse cracked up laughing. Shadow looked at her sideways.

"You freak."

"Shut up, whore!"

"Damn straight!"

"You're not damn straight."

"Hell yeah I am! I'm damn straight, slut. Karasu's not. Karasu is damn crooked."

"Damn gay freak."

"He's bisexual," Shadow reminded patiently, "and we love him all the more for it, right?"

"No, we hate him. Gay freak."

"Prejudiced bitch."

"Slimey hoe."

"Stankin' harlot!"

"Hooker!"

"Concubine!"

"Hustler!"

"Tramp!"

"Tart!"

"Bimbo!"

"Streetwalker!"

"Corner-stander!"

"What?"

Shadow glared. "I called you a corner-stander! As in, a skanky loose woman standin' on a street corner!"

"Shut up, you skank! Corner-stander is a stupid term!" Eclipse said. "I bet it's not even in the dictionary!"

"Well I can't very well check when I'm chained to the wall now can I!" She rattled her shackles to emphasize her point. Eclipse stuck out her tongue.

"Then we can just say I'm right."

"No we can't, you dirtbag! You're never right!"

"I'm always right!"

"Ha ha, that'd be like saying Hiei's a girl!"

"And you know he isn't, firsthand, don't you, you dirty whore?"

"Hand, and mouth." She stuck out her tongue, grinning.

"You dirty skank."

"Oh, come on. You'd do it to Kurama in the blink of an eye."

"No I wouldn't!"

"Oh, bull. I've seen the way you eye him up... He is the legendary Youko, after all... I bet you two will have sex even before me and Hiei do."

"Bull shit."

"If you have sex this year, it'll be before me and Hiei."

"We just started going out like, not very long ago. Do you really think we're going to have sex sometime within the next..."

"Six months? Yes, I do. He's Youko Kurama!"

"He isn't. He has Youko in him..."

"You'll be lucky if Youko doesn't pop out of nowhere and seduce the shit out of you, screw you, and leave you with his child."

"I'm not having kids!"

"Are you on birth control? Do you know how likely it is Youko uses any sort of protection? He's a demon."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Eclipse screeched, thrashing around insanely. "I do not want to think about that!"

"What, about having kids, or about having sex with Youko?" She lowered her voice. "Youko is so damn sexy, Eclipse. Those golden eyes... His hair, so long and beautiful, like silk when you touch it... Those adorable ears... His body is so muscular... And he moves so easily... he's flexible... strong... And you know all about his tongue... I bet you know a little about his..." She cleared her throat. Eclipse thrashed her head from side to side.

"No! Nope, not a thing do I know about his ahem, not. at. all!"

"Oh!" Shadow chirped. "Okay! Not that I believe you or anything, but I don't want you getting all hot thinking about it... Then I'd have to deal with your freaky horniness and I'd be a little grossed out, y'know?"

"Oh, what, like I don't have to deal with you talking about your sex fantasies?"

"I've never told you about my sex fantasies! In fact, I don't even have sex fantasies!"

"Oh, like hell! You can't live with Hiei for three years and not have fantasies about him!"

"Oh can't you!"

"I bet you have some really nasty ones! Why else would you have handcuffs and pole dancer outfits in your bedroom?"

"What do you know about what's in my bedroom?"

"I snooped through it before!"

"Well I snooped through your bedroom before too!"

"WHEN!"

"When you were asleep! I snuck in, snooped through it, and left again! I found all that shit you printed off the internet!"

"What? I never printed anything off the internet!"

"Bull!"

"I hate you! Shut up!"

"I should tell Kurama about it."

"About what? There's nothing to tell him!"

Luckily, Ryosei showed up just then to save both their asses from Kokuei, who was starting to get irritated with their bickering and shouting. He unchained them to let them eat, then tossed a paper plate on the floor in front of Kokuei with a steak on it. She frowned at him, but wolfed it down and continued glaring.

Was that an abrupt end to the chapter? ... I thought it was... but I didn't think of anything else to do with it... The next chapter was partially written at my best friend's house... It will be posted... whenever the hell I feel like posting it! YEEHA. I'm going to Eclipse's house tomorrow, so that means... I'll probably be back Wednesday... Which means... If I have a satisfactory number of reviews... you'll get a chapter then. Or, more likely, Thursday.

Oh! Another joyful thing: I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again on Saturday (I love that movie so much... I think it might get even better the more you watch it). But that's not what I was gonna say. I got the YYH DVD called "Yoko Kurama" which, all you DVD collectors know, is the Kurama vs. Karasu fight. I finally will get to see the uncut episodes.