SHONEN ALLIANCE
RE:BIRTH
OPENING THEME: GOLDEN TIME LOVER (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood)
"I definitely got her," Mustang admitted as Havoc and he reentered the storage room to access the damage. Whatever the lab had been storing down here, hopefully it hadn't been too important. Everything that had been in this storage room was now reduced to powdery white ash that surrounded the two men's feet. "She might still be able to regenerate, so don't drop your guard."
Havoc had found one of the few things that hadn't been reduced to ash, the smoking remains of his lighter.
"Man, this was a gift too," he sighed, reaching for the lighter only to pull his hand away as soon as his fingertip made contact. The surface of the lighter was too hot to touch. Giving up on retrieving it, he rose and turned back to Mustang. "So what…" he fell silent, his face contorting with pain as three black spears punctured through him!
"Havoc!" Mustang exclaimed as Havoc fell and Lust reformed behind him.
"One down," she said coldly.
"Even that wasn't enough?" the Colonel cursed as Lust approached him.
There was no chance for any sort of defensive action before Lust's spear like fingers stabbed through Mustang's abdomen.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Purple Heart wasn't able to even approach her clowny adversary due to the numerous explosions she was having to avoid.
The clown's laughter rang in her ears as he flung orb after exploding orb at the goddess.
"Come on! Let's have some fun!" the clown cackled as he threw three orbs at once at Purple Heart.
"He's insane," she cursed, trying to catch her breath during a brief respite in the explosions. It didn't last long before another orb struck her foot. She jumped to the air just in time to avoid being blown to pieces, but not quite quickly enough to avoid being flung by the explosive force, crashing hard into an unyielding stone wall and slumping to her seat.
She shook off her disorientation just in time to see five more orbs sailing in her direction. Reacting quickly, she jumped back to her feet and flew straight up to avoid the massive explosion they created.
She floated in the air, glaring down at the clown who was rolling on the floor, laughing like he'd just heard the funniest joke anyone had ever told.
"Ahh, this is fun! Let's keep going!"
"I've got to finish this. I don't know how much longer I can keep dodging," Purple Heart cursed.
"Ahh, you can't ruin the fun yet!"
Purple Heart froze. The clown's voice had come from directly behind her right ear. Somehow, he had gotten behind her.
She turned, slashing with her sword, then felt her heart leap into her throat when her blade sliced through a bomb. She reacted just quickly enough to avoid having the two halves explode in her face.
As she landed, her chest heaving in and out as she struggled to catch her breath, the clown's laughter echoed through the chamber and she realized that he wasn't anywhere to be seen.
"Oh, this is great! Such fun we're having!" his voice echoed all around her as she searched, her panic rising, for her unorthodox opponent.
The sound of something bouncing off the ground behind her caused her to instinctively jump away from it. She got clear, yet nothing exploded. She landed and turned back to see what had happened. She couldn't see anything that had made the sound she had jumped away from, but there was something at her feet.
It was a jack-in-box with its handle autonomously turning as "Pop Goes the Weasel" played merrily.
"A word of advice. Every good comedian knows that the best punchline…" the box flipped open with a loud ding. Before Purple Heart could do anything, a bombardment of small, metal wire exploded out of the box and hit her, "…IS THE ONE YOU NEVER SEE COMING!"
Like a snake, the wire wrapped itself around her, constricting over her legs, arms, and torso. By the time it finished and the wires all drew tight, Purple Heart was suspended in midair, her arms extended above her head one leg extended straight down, and her other leg bent at the knee by her bindings. The attack hadn't caused any damage, but the CPU was thoroughly bound.
"What the… let go!" she demanded, trying to struggle out of the wires.
"Ohhohoho!" the clown laughed, circling from behind Purple Heart, dancing like a giddy school girl as he looked over Purple Heart, "perfect! That mixture of shock, fear, surprise! I couldn't have asked for a better delivery! Truly the perfect punchline!"
"I hope you don't think you're going to get away with this?" Purple Heart hissed as she struggled to pull herself free.
"Oh ho! Defiance! Now that's funny," the clown said, reaching behind him and seemingly pulling out of nowhere a distressingly long and distressingly sharp knife. "Too bad, you're not actually going to ever leave here. I'm going to slice you to pieces!"
"Just try it," Purple Heart dared him, "I'm not afraid of you."
"That's good. Maybe defiant really is your true self."
"What does that mean?"
The clown brought the tip of his blade worryingly close to the underside of Purple Heart's chin, meticulously moving the knife tip down her body as he spoke. "The light leaving their eyes, the sound of their final breath catching in their throat, those final moments when someone shows who they truly are. Those are the moments that make me feel truly alive!"
He stopped moving the knife when the tip was positioned just above Purple Heart's thigh. He hadn't created a single cut despite her being able to feel the knife whenever it had moved over her skin. He had masterful control of his blade, which wasn't a comforting thought.
"Now, make me feel alive!" he shouted, drawing back his knife to stab. Purple Heart closed her eyes.
She let out a surprisingly cute squeal when something ice cold pressed against the bare skin of her thigh.
"What the hell?" the clown bemused as he looked over the block of ice that had formed over the blade of his knife.
A chilling wind blew through the chamber, freezing the cords binding Purple Heart. There was a loud cracking sound as the goddess flexed her body and the icy cords shattered like glass.
"Ha, now that's funny… and bad for me," the clown admitted, bowing just in time to avoid being speared in the back by three ice spears.
"I can't even tell if he meant to dodge that or just got lucky," Purple Heart cursed flying back to hover alongside Mizore.
"What is this guy?" Mizore asked as ice claws emerged from her long sleeves.
"Well well, what have we here?" the clown quipped looking over Mizore, "why is it you goody-goodies have all the 'hot' girls?" he started laughing in amusement.
"Your jokes suck," Mizore said coldly, causing the clown's laughter to die in his throat.
"Hmmph, tough crowd. Well, it's hardly my fault," he said reaching behind himself and producing what appeared to be a giant grabbing hand toy with the hand clenched into a fist, "IF YOU DON't get the 'PUNCHLINE'!" he shouted, pulling the handles so the fist rocketed towards Mizore… and embedded itself firmly into a wall of ice.
"Are these not supposed to be jokes and I'm just reading them wrong?" Mizore asked sincerely.
"Where do you keep pulling these things from!?" Purple Heart asked, clearly dumbfounded by the appearance of a weapon the clown couldn't have concealed.
"A great showman never reveals his secrets. Now, behold, nothing up my sleeve," he boasted, showing both Purple Heart and Mizore his sleeve was indeed empty. At least, it was before two ridiculously long, multi-colored ribbons shot out of said empty sleeve. Purple Heart and Mizore were both instantly turned into multi-colored mummies. However, if the clown had a joke in mind, he didn't get to make it before his ribbons froze and shattered, leaving Purple Heart violently shivering.
"Apparently, I should have dressed for colder weather today," she gasped between bouts of her teeth chattering.
"I can leave you tied up if you prefer that," Mizore offered.
"No, that's not necessary!"
"Well, this is just getting ridiculous. Hate to fight and run ladies, but he who laughs and runs away lives to laugh another day!" the clown quipped, laughing.
"I don't think that's how that saying goes," Mizore observed, making the clown's laughter cut short again.
"Oh forget it," he groaned.
"The only thing you should forget is escaping. We won't let you get away," Purple Heart vowed, holding her sword at the ready.
"Oh ho, you think so?" the clown joked, "well, better think fast then!" he warned as he threw five more orbs. Mizore and Purple Heart prepared to get out of the path of the attacks, but the orbs exploded almost as soon as they left their foe's hand, detonating into a cloud of smoke!
"No you don't!" Purple Heart shouted, charging at the smoke and slicing through it with her blade. The smoke blew away as she sliced through it, but the blade never found anything else. The clown was gone!
"What!? How!?" she shouted, frustration thick in her voice.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Hawkeye and Aliasse watched with a mix or fascination and disgust as Barry the Chopper stood over his bloodied body.
"Well, I suppose that's it then," Barry admitted thoughtfully, "going to be difficult to top this one."
"What is this place?" Aliasse finally turned the focus away from Barry's "victory" in favor of analyzing the chamber they had found themselves in. It wasn't a particularly interesting room, for the most part, but it's one defining feature, the large door opposite the hallway they'd entered from was worth a few questions at least.
"Somewhere you really should have left alone." Lust's threatening voice caused Aliasse and Hawkeye to round on the woman as she emerged from the hallway behind them.
"Perfect, I was just wondering how I was going to top this, and chopping you up, Lust, is the perfect…" Barry had begun to charge Lust as he declared his attempt to chop her, but both his threat and his charge died as suddenly as he did when Lust swung her arm and sliced the armor that housed his soul to pieces!
"There's something off about you," Aliasse observed, stepping forward to face the voluptuous Homunculus.
"Her chest," Hawkeye commented, "that tattoo…"
"Yeah, I saw it," Ali growled, "one of those Oro-whatevers. She's one of the bad guys."
"I realize you don't have your own, but that doesn't make it polite to stare you know," Lust mocked the petit Valkyria. Aliasse chuckled in response.
"If you're trying to get under my skin, you'll have to do better then that. Those aren't going to do you much good when I burn you to ash."
"I imagine your Colonel thought the same thing before I skewered him," Lust boasted, shocking Ali and Hawkeye.
"You didn't…" Hawkeye stuttered.
"Shut your trap," Aliasse warned, "I don't know much about the fire Colonel, but I know Vine respects him, and no one Vine respects is someone the likes of you could beat."
"Little brat," Lust hissed in annoyance, "believe whatever you want. You'll join him soon e…"
Hawkeye shot her in the head.
A round from her pistol ripped through the Homunculus's forehead and blew out the back of her skull. The skilled markswoman didn't stop, despite the blatantly fatal wound, continuing to discharge round after round into the Homunculus. Only after dry firing her eight round sidearm three times did she throw it aside. In a moment a second pistol was drawn from her belt and she fired off another eight rounds.
Her pistols both spent, Hawkeye unslung the shotgun from her back. What was left of Lust's bullet riddled body was eviscerated as Hawkeye fired half a dozen slugs, each capable of reducing a human head to hamburger.
Then the shotgun dry fired, its click marking a clear indication that Riza Hawkeye's entire arsenal was spent.
And all it had bought them was the roughly 15 seconds it took for Lust's body to completely regenerate, showing no sign that she'd ever suffered a wound.
Without a word of retort, Lust thrust her hand towards Hawkeye and two of her Ultimate Spears shot for Riza's heart, only missing their mark because they deflected harmlessly off of Aliasse's shield!
The strike hit with enough force to knock Ali off balance, and before she could recover, Lust let loose a barrage of strikes, leaving the Valkyria scrambling to keep Hawkeye or herself from getting skewered!
If Aliasse could have dodged an attack, she could have unleashed a counterattack, and that honestly wouldn't have been difficult if she were alone. Unfortunately, with Hawkeye in the line of fire, any effort to avoid one of Lust's attacks would end with her being speared through the heart, leaving Ali on the defensive.
"How long can you keep this up," Lust taunted, striking Aliasse's shield again.
"I'm not going to let you have your way!" Ali shouted, her frustration growing as she withstood three more heavy strikes against her shield.
"Ali," Hawkeye sobbed, her voice racked with grief, "listen to me. Whatever happens, you can't die here."
"I know that!" Ali shouted back, "just stay behind me! I'll come up with something!"
"It's alright," Riza said in a soft tone that concerned Ali. She turned her head back just long enough to see the tears in the woman's eyes before another strike against her shield staggered her. Hawkeye took the opportunity and bolted away from the Valkyria, leaving herself open to Lust's attack!
"Don't!" Ali pleaded in vain, unable to regain her footing in time to do anything that might prevent what was coming!
"Do you really think you can get away?" Lust hissed coldly. She held up her other hand and her spear-like fingertips extended for Hawkeye. Ali managed to regain her balance and desperately shot towards the vulnerable lieutenant, painfully aware she wouldn't make it.
She didn't have to.
An instant before Lust's spear could pierce Hawkeye's breast, the lieutenant vanished! Aliasse stopped in her tracks as something hit the ground behind her.
"Phew, looks like we made it back just in time," an energetic voice behind her shouted.
The young Valkyria turned and saw a shocked Hawkeye, kneeling on the ground as a young man standing over her straightened himself up, brushed off his yellow vest and blue shorts, and straightened his straw hat.
"Who the hell are you?" Lust hissed.
"My name's Luffy, nice to meet ya," Monkey D. Luffy announced, punching the palm of his hand.
CLOSING THEME: KIMI NO NAMAE (Rising of the Shield Hero)