(A/N: I'd like to grasp this nice, long, hard opportunity to communicate to you the existence of a series of quite hilarious stories about that fabulous pansy Draco by my good friend MoragC, which everyone should peruse, and, if their intellectual abilities permit it, possibly even read. For this instalment I'd like to thank the El Gaucho restaurant in Leiden, Holland, and I'd also like to ask them not to sue me. And lastly, I'd advise everyone to watch 'Winnetoe and his friend Old Firehand', because no-one's education is complete without it)

Chapter 3: Lock Up Your Shed, Because Juanito's Coming

The legendary Don L, liberator of the free and protector of those who are too lazy to fight for themselves, was just reposing on a tasteful leather couch of the renowned establishment El Gaucho to enjoy a bounteous meal of Mexican goodness.

Unfortunately, after a row with some stubborn members of the households, no such luxuries as proper food were now permitted him at his (highly secret) abode. In fact, said members of the household had used rather harsh words to rebuke his, in his opinion, rather humble request for tacos. Some of these words had sounded rather like "bonkers", "fake Zorro", "need therapy", "suspicious-looking outfit", and something along the lines of their refusing to "be expected to go along every time he had a pathetic, and frankly disturbing, whim like this".

In all honesty, he felt more than slightly insulted after this explosion of hostility towards his assumed persona, and, having expressed his disappointment in finding that they did not wish to support him in his difficult mission, he accordingly went away in search of nourishment, and ended up here.

A waiter approached him, looking wary. "Good evening, my friend," Don L said, "do not fear! I am the benevolent bandit Don L! Ha! Ha!" He took out his sword and quickly carved a large L into the wall. "There, my mark to prove it." The waiter raised his eyebrows, took his order for "one of those large flappy things, filled with those things, and those other things, and those spicy things, with some of those crispy things on the side", and hurried away, looking over his shoulder rather a lot.

Don L knocked back a shot of tequila, sighed, and leant back in his seat, a charming smile on his face. This was the life, he thought. Nothing could really beat sitting in a dark restaurant with fake views on the desert painted on the walls, cow skin on the seats, and kitschy bronze bull statues. Well, almost nothing. Robbing people while sitting in a dark restaurant with fake views over the desert painted on the walls, cow skin on the seats, and kitschy bronze bull statues would probably be even more fun, but he wasn't sure, as he hadn't tried that before.

While he was thus musing on this grand question of life, the door suddenly flew open in an ominous manner. A film soundtrack started to play in the background, which sounded suspiciously like the theme from 'Winnetou and his friend Old Firehand'. The good Don L, always vigilant, jumped up immediately, and took out his sword. In the doorway stood a mystery figure, wearing a cape, dramatically silhouetted against the blood red sky and golden light of the dusk, that came pouring in through the open doorway.

Don L's eyes narrowed. Could it be? As the person in the doorway stepped inside, there could be no doubt. "El Lupin!" Don L. exclaimed, grasping his sword more firmly.

"Yes! It is I!" El Lupin cried, taking off his hat and throwing back his greying hair. "I bet you weren't expecting me, were you, Don L? I bet you thought you had beaten me by taking away my chocolate! But think again, for I am back, and I have come to avenge myself, and take back what you have so cruelly robbed me of?"

"What, you mean your vir…" Don L. started confusedly.

"No!" El Lupin said hotly, "My chocolate, you fool! Now, prepare to stand and fight!" El Lupin took out a stick and parried with it in Don L's general direction.

"But that's a stick!" Don L. said. "And it's not even a wand! I'm not going to fight you if you're using that."

"I must admit that steel swords are rather outside the reach of my limited budget, but that does not mean I have not taken care that this sword will withstand whatever pathetic attacks you shall make on it!" El Lupin said. "Haha! I knew that taking that extra Transfiguration course in changing wood into camp film props would pay off!"

"Ha!" Don L. mocked, "Well then, what are you waiting for?" Immediately, El Lupin made a lunge for Don L's satin shirt, and slashed a huge "L" into it. "Hey!" Don L. cried out in surprise. Then he started to laugh.

"What?" El Lupin said, annoyed. "What's there to laugh about?"

"The 'L' is my sign, El Lupin!" Don L. triumphantly declared. "It seems you have to do some research before you attempt to avenge yourself again, and infringe on my copyright. Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"Aaargh!" El Lupin growled, striking a dramatic pose, "You have defeated me again, Don L! But mark my words, I will get my revenge, if it's the last thing I do!" Shaking a gloved fist, he stormed off, his cape fluttering behind him, while the theme from 'Winnetou and his friend Old Firehand' played on in the background.

Don L sat down again, and unfolded his napkin. Striking a pose meant to suggest intellectual activity, he wondered whether El Lupin would return, and, if so, when he would strike again. He certainly hoped it wouldn't be on Thursday night; the night he meant to declare his love to the one he secretly admired…

(A/N: OMG CLIFFHANGER!)