(A/N: The idea for a theme tune forced itself into my brain as soon as I heard the anthem for Adam Adamant Lives, the 60s TV show. It just fitted so well, so I wrote the lyrics to the Don L theme tune to the melody. You may find it at: www. adam adamantlives. co . uk As soon as yours truly can find an obliging orchestra, she will record it, as well. Also, I apologise for taking this long to update, although I'm sure no-one will have noticed. And such. Adam Adamant lives, you know.)
Chapter Eight: Theme TuneEl Lupin was standing on the front lawn of Malfoy Manor, waiting for Don L to come out. He was fuming with rage, since the admirable Don had made a rather impertinent remark about El Lupin's very personal and not at all perverted relationship with his Hinkypunk the night before.
Standing as he was with his greying hair and bags under his eyes,and yawning every now and again, he provided a fearsome spectacle to all present. Which was no-one. After a while, just as El Lupin was wondering if the ground here was as soft and cozy as the ground he slept on, someone came out of the house. Squinting hard, El Lupin could just make out the person's lank black hair and murderous expression. It had to be Snape.
"Snape!" El Lupin cried, striding up to meet him.
"Yes, yes." Snape said, irritably. "Hold your peace, will you. He's on his way." He scowled dangerously at El Lupin, who sighed. Nothing happened for a long time. Some birds cawed in the trees around the house, creating a pleasant sinister atmosphere, and the sun shone down from the ominous clouds wanly, and all the poisonous flowers in the flowerbeds were in bloom, and all that.
El Lupin looked around for a while, noting all this. Finally, he yawned, looked back at Snape, and asked: "Look, is he going to come out or not?" Snape glared at him, but before he could answer, the door behind him opened.
"Pssssst!" a voice, which was unmistakably Don L's, said from behind the door. "Introduce me, will you!"
"I will not!" Snape hissed. "It's ridiculous."
"But it sounds so convincing when you sing it!" Don L pleaded.
"No." Snape said, but he looked slightly less annoyed.
"Please! Or I'll have to bring in Goyle Senior to sing it." Don L urged. Snape sighed.
"Oh, alright." he said. An orchestra struck up in the background. El Lupin looked on in amazement, as Snape drew a deep breath, and began to sing:
"Don L, Don L !
Don L, Don L !
Gay as a knight in pink armour,
Empty as an unloaded gun
If you should look,
For a man who's a fool,
For a man who's a tool,
This man is the one!
Snape, he's a man who's delusional,
Snape, you would run if you knew!
If what you want is a man who likes tights,
Who in high heels delights,
This man is for you!
Don L, Don L!
Don L, Don L !
Are your braincells so far apart ?
Reaching for a thought is like reaching for a star
Did Snape arrive too late?
A very cheap date
Is that all you are?
In one minted breath, you may think he's a charmer,
But idiocy is a life he has known,
If you want brains,
And your years full of intelligence,
Brightness ever after,
Leave this man alone!
Don L, Don L!
Leave this man alone !
Don L, Don L!
Leave this man ALOOOOOOOONE !"
After the last note, Snape immediately crossed his arms over his chest again, went back to scowling. El Lupin applauded hesitantly. Don L, however, emerged from his house looking reproachfully at Snape.
"What?" Snape snarled. Don L stared at him. "WHAT? I swear I didn't change any of the lyrics this time." Snape said. But there was a very small trace of a smile on his lips...