Disclaimer: no own, no profit, no TERFs allowed.
Author's Note: I've got some important announcements for y'all at the bottom of the chapter today, would appreciate you checking them out. Enjoy the chapter!
Edward was confronted first thing Monday morning by Alphonse and Luna, much too early in the day for how long he'd been up grading papers the night before. They were at the door to his quarters before he'd even finished braiding his hair.
"Has curfew even ended yet?" he asked in Amestrian, yawning.
"Barely," said Alphonse. "But this is important. Luna found it in the Room of Requirement last night."
And then a delicate silvery diadem was flung onto his little round table. He clapped his hands, inspected it alchemically, and immediately recoiled. "Horcrux. Horcrux where I eat my midnight snacks. Alphonse!"
"Sorry brother," said Al, not looking sorry at all.
"I thought we should bring it to you straight away," said Luna, in English. Ed, still half-asleep, took a moment to parse it, then another moment to formulate an English response.
"You're right," said Ed. "It is important. I'm just not awake yet. Put zat sing away, sit down, and give me five minutes."
The diadem vanished back inside Luna's bag, and the air seemed lighter immediately. Oh boy, Ed did not like that. He stumbled over to his nearly-useless kitchenette, put on the kettle and set up his coffee press.
In practice, he didn't use it much. It was easier to just wait until breakfast before caffeinating himself to all hell, and usually he slept almost right to it. But, he thought rather mournfully, that breakfast might end up being skipped entirely.
Alphonse and Luna sat on two of the wooden chairs grouped around his table, bending their heads together for a quiet conversation. Ed ignored them, busied himself with pulling down mugs and measuring out coffee grounds.
He pulled a selection of muffins he'd pilfered from the Great Hall from the little bespelled breadbox on the counter. Sometimes, Ed didn't complain too loudly about the conveniences of magic.
When the aroma of the coffee wafted strong across the room, and Ed had set full mugs with a pile of muffins on the table, after he'd taken a swig and a bite, he was ready to address the tiara in the room. "Do we need to take zis to zee Old Man?" he said.
"I wondered," said Luna.
"Do we want to worry zee Headmaster?" said Alphonse, and yes, that had been Ed's concern.
"You have a better idea ov his condition zan I do," said Ed. "But I say we find a way to deal wis it and tell him after it's done."
"He is zee defacto head of zee resistance," said Alphosne. "He'd be offended if we didn't tell him first."
"But would offense or worry be worse for him?" said Ed.
"You'd want to know," said Al.
That… was true. Shit. Ed had literally just given the Old Man a lecture about keeping people in the loop.
"You want to like yourself after all this," said Luna, delicately taking a bite out of her muffin. "And I don't think either of you have ever really valued secrets, even when you've had to keep them."
Ed looked at her sharply, wondering if that was just her usual brand of sly perceptiveness or if Alphonse had been spilling beans again. But either way, she wasn't wrong. "Fine," he said. "Let's tell him. And zen we can figure out a way to deal wis it."
The bell signaling the start of breakfast rang loud and bright across the castle. Ed looked at his muffin, stuffed it down his throat in two monstrous bites, and tucked a second in his pocket. "Let's go," he said. "We'll be missing breakfast anyway, and zat's tragedy enough wisout also missing classes."
Luna took a last sip of her mug, tossed her half-eaten muffin in the air, caught it deftly. "I don't mind eating and walking."
Alphonse, though, looked mutinous. Ed sighed. "I suppose we can wait another minute," he said.
Despite her claim to the contrary, Luna looked pleased. Ed pulled his second muffin out of his pocket and took another sip of his coffee. He'd been the one to bring out the foodstuffs, he might as well actually commit to eating them well.
It took another fifteen minutes for the three of them to actually leave his quarters. Breakfast was half-gone by the time they made it down to the Hospital Wing.
As they walked in, Madame Pomfrey gave them a double take. "I don't recall asking you to sacrifice your mornings, Mr. Elric," she said to Alphonse.
"It's an emergency," he said. "We need to talk to zee Headmaster."
Her eyes narrowed. "What kind of emergency?"
"Please, Madame," said Alphonse.
Madame Pomfrey's eyes narrowed further, but she waved them through. Her gaze lingered on Luna, who bore it with the simple grace of someone who seemed perpetually lost to the stars. That is, Ed wasn't quite sure she noticed. You could never quite tell what Luna was and wasn't noticing.
Dumbledore was sitting propped up on his pillows looking much healthier than he had on Friday. The pink had returned to his cheeks, the calculating gleam to his eye. "Mr. Elric and Miss Lovegood! What a pleasure to see you so early this morning. And you, of course, as well Professor Elric."
"Luna found a horcrux," said Ed, deciding not to waste time on whatever manipulation the Old Man was trying to come up with on the fly.
"Pardon me?" said Dumbledore.
"It was in the Come and Go Room," said Luna, voice grave and eyes so wide that she had to be putting it on for effect.
"Now, I'm sure it might look -" Dumbledore was cut off by Luna pulling the offending item from her bag. "Oh," said Dumbledore, deflating against his pillows.
"Exactly," said Ed, smugly satisfied by the whole exchange.
Alphonse elbowed him in the ribs. "Bruder!"
"Is that the Lost Diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw?" said Dumbledore, faintly.
"I believe it is," said Luna. "If it isn't, it's an astonishingly good fake. Even better than my father's."
Ed was starting to realize that Luna's father had a reputation for eccentricity even more wild than Luna's, and the faint exasperation in Dumbledore's eyes confirmed it. The old man reached out his remaining hand - the stump of his wrist, Ed noticed, was tucked right up against his ribcage. "May I see it?"
"Zee last time you got to 'see' a horcrux, you got a curse zat nearly killed you," said Ed.
At the same time, in that same grave tone, Luna said, "I wouldn't put it on. Not even the nargles will go near it."
What the absolute fuck a nargle was, Ed still didn't know. Storybook vomit world or not, Ed wasn't sure if they actually existed. The wizard kids always got a patiently condescending expression when Luna brought them up.
But whether it was the nargles or just common sense catching up to him, Dumbledore retracted his hand. "You're right, child," he said, specifically to Luna and ignoring Ed's comment entirely, "It would be very foolish."
"We sought we should let you know," said Alphonse, voice soft. "Before we try to destroy it."
"Thank you," said Dumbledore. "For I should tell you, there is a sword in my office."
"The Sword of Gryffindor," said Luna.
"Yes," said the Old Man. "And it absorbed basilisk venom back in Harry Potter's second year at Hogwarts. It will destroy any horcrux, and is one of the only things that can."
"I sink we should try to destroy it alchemically," said Ed. "If destruction alchemy won't do it, zen the research we need to do to figure it out might teach us somesing."
"Not every problem has to be resolved from within your discipline," said Dumbledore, looking properly irate.
"Do you want zee mold gone or not?" said Ed. "Because if you don't want to leave it in zee hands of boy wonder, I'm your best bet."
This was why Ed had wanted to inform Dumbledore after destroying the horcrux.
"We'll keep zee sword in mind, Headmaster," said Alphonse. "We will use it if we need it."
Dumbledore looked gratified, but not quite satisfied. Ed nudged Al in the ribs with an elbow, got nudged back. Whose side was he even on?
Ed looked at the headmaster, looked at his brother, looked at Luna. "Well. Zat's all I had to say," he said, before turning around and stomping back out of the Hospital Wing.
"Your brother has temper issues, doesn't he?" he heard Luna say to Alphonse behind him. Ed ignored it. If he hurried, he might actually be able to stop by the Great Hall with just enough time to scarf down the last of breakfast. Everything but the fruit was probably already cleared away, but a guy could dream.
"Zat was a disaster," said Alphonse to Luna as they made their way out of the Teacher's Ward and the Hospital Wing at a more sedate pace.
"We knew it would be," said Luna. "Your brother and the Headmaster always get on like a poorly timed blasting hex."
Tell Al something he didn't know. "Do we have time for breakfast?"
"Not unless we want to run," said Luna. "And I, for one, like to take my time in Hogwarts. Feel what the ground has to say."
Right.
"Besides," she continued. "I might have grabbed a few more of Professor Elric's muffins." She pulled a pair of them out of her satchel, handed one to Alphonse. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about eating something that had shared space with a horcrux, but he was hungry and the muffin was there. They made their way to their first class of the day in companionable quiet.
That night, Al and Luna finally brought Ed into Pandora Lovegood's portable laboratory. Luna understandably didn't want the horcrux to stay in the lab, but it seemed like the best place to conduct experiments on it. Tucked inside the Room of Requirement, and again inside Pandora's box, even if the thing exploded, damage to the school might be mitigated.
"Of course," said Ed, "We do want to survive a potential explosion."
Inwardly, Alphonse reflected that if they died here in this other world, it would just be the conclusion of the most drawn-out rebound in alchemical history. He couldn't quite help a laugh, but waved both Ed and Luna off when they looked at him questioningly.
"There's an emergency release," said Luna. "The whole lab is spelled to spit out any living people if it detects explosive force or if the expansion charm starts to degrade."
"Thank goodness for that," said Al.
"That said," said Luna. "I feel close to my mother in her laboratory. I would hate to lose that." So if you think poking at the horcrux is going to make it explode, maybe stop what you're doing, went unsaid.
Given that their last bit of magical and alchemical experimenting had caused the Headmaster's hand to explode, this was perhaps not an unreasonable concern. Alphonse resolved to be careful.
"When I looked at it alchemically zis morning it felt awful," said Ed.
Al had been avoiding looking at it through the Dragon's Pulse himself. But here, in the quiet sanctum of Pandora's Box, he had to stop putting it off. Well. Maybe he'd look at it alchemically first. He clapped his hands together, touched the rim of the diadem, and felt.
Huh. It was. Bad. Infinitely worse than, but somehow not dissimilar to his old armor. "I know zat horcruxes fundamentally anchor soul fragments to armor, but I sink zee grossest sing about zis is how familiar it feels."
"Agreed," said Ed.
Luna, who Al hadn't technically told about his armor, did not ask why. She had her own eyes closed, feeling out with that strange Luna-magic she seemed to carry with her. It was different than the magic Al felt in most of the witches and wizards of Hogwarts, but he'd been reluctant to ask her why in so many words. She hadn't offered to tell him, either.
He felt more than saw her shudder.
"And he made so many of these," she said. "Why would anyone want to?"
Alphonse shrugged.
"Can't account for people," said Ed. "We all do crazy shit sometimes." There was a self-deprecating joke somewhere in there, Alphonse was sure.
Taking a deep breath, Al finally opened himself up to the Dragon's Pulse, felt for the chi that connected everything. As always, there was a slight current connecting him to everything around him. Some of those connections were beautiful, others just were. But one of them was actively gross. The current connecting him to the diadem, the currents connecting Luna and Ed to the diadem, seemed like they were being pulled at.
"It drains energy vrom zee people around it," he said, fighting the impulse to shut off his sense of chi. "And there's somesing insidious about the way it flows back towards us, too."
"I hate zat," said Ed.
"It must be lonely to be a tainted fragment of soul, attached to an object and isolated from human interaction" said Luna. Alphonse could feel her presence in the Dragon's Pulse ripple as she stepped forward and cradled the diadem in her hands. The current between her and the diadem became a rush.
"I don't sink you want to be holding it like zat," said Al. " I don't like how zee chi interaction looks." Luna ignored him.
"No," she said in a soft voice. "I won't be putting you on. You ask for too much, little crown."
Al could feel Ed's chi straining with the impulse to bat the diadem out of Luna's hands. But getting a better read on Luna's chi, Al realized that she knew exactly what she was doing.
"We can end this for you," she was saying, voice a murmur. "We will end this for you."
For a moment, the diadem seemed to shriek with protest, but Luna was already placing it back down on the table. Alphonse was a little shocked by how firmly and immediately she was able to cut the flow of chi between her and the diadem.
"Vat zee fuck," said Ed.
Luna looked at them both very seriously. "It's hungry," she said.
"We need to study it," said Ed.
"But we should do it fast," said Alphonse.
"I think the soul fragment will be relieved," said Luna. "It'll fight us, but it doesn't like being in that crown anymore than we like it being there."
Ed pulled his notebook from his breast pocket. "Let's get to it, zen," he said. "We should destroy it as soon as possible."
The diadem wasn't all that different than Al's armor, and the part of him that sympathized almost balked at the idea of casually destroying it. But it was the anchor of a man who needed to be dealt with, who was past due for passing beyond the Gate. Besides, when the man himself had been before him, Alphonse hadn't hesitated in killing him.
Alphonse flipped open his own notebook. "We want to send copies of our notes to Mr. Ollivander and Bill, right? Zey might have good input."
Ed cast a glance at Luna, switched to Amestrian. "Throw Flamel on that list, too. He's the only competent alchemist we have access to in this universe."
Perfect. Al was hoping Ed would say that. Al set himself to drawing the chi-flow that Luna had established during her communion with the horcrux - he wanted to have that down before he forgot what it looked like.
When all was said and done on Monday night, the diadem stayed in the Room of Hidden Things for storage. Al was deeply disturbed by the chi flow - exchange was normal, but something feeding on the chi of others was not. That was emphatically not how soul anchors worked back in Amestris. Alphonse would know.
When he had voiced his concern, Ed crossed his arms and glared at the crown on the table. "Yeah, I don't want it in my quarters, eizer. We could put it in my office, but zat would put it uncomfortably close to my classroom."
"People often don't see what's right in front of them," said Luna. "It was practically on display when I found it."
"It will be fine, zen," said Ed. "If we put it under one of zees piles of rubbish, it should be even safer. Provided we can find it again if we do."
"I'll be able to find it," said Al, shuddering. "It's so visible through the Dragon's Pulse."
Ed frowned. "Reason number 348 zat I should have learned some alkahestry along zee way."
"Not your fault I ended up traveling wis Mei for a while and you didn't," said Al.
"I'd be fascinated to learn some, myself," said Luna. "I wonder if there might be alkahestry practitioners around outside of Germany."
Germany. Right. Alphonse hadn't seen hide nor hair of alchemists or alkahestrists in Germany. "I really don't know it well enough to teach," he said. "Or I'd try. But I just started learning before coming here."
Luna did not look bothered by this. She considered the diadem, raised her wand, and levitated it over to a nearby pile. She slid it neatly under a seat-cushion.
Al exchanged a glance with Ed, who shrugged, said, "Good enough for me."
And that was that. Alphonse and Luna made it back to Ravenclaw tower with just enough time to slide through the portrait hole before curfew. Distantly, Alphonse recognized one of the Ravenclaw prefects, Padma, keeping a weather eye for stragglers.
"You two have been coming just on time a lot lately," she said, a twinkle in her eyes and insinuation in her tone. "Be safe, and don't get caught."
Alphonse felt himself flush, but Luna seemed as unbothered by this as she was about everything. Padma's eye was falling on her particularly, though, so Al wasn't especially surprised when Luna said, "Don't worry. I know the spells." She paused, and Alphonse felt her gaze fall on him, undoubtedly with a certain amount of amusement. "There doesn't happen to be any need for them, though."
Padma seemed more reassured by the first half of Luna's statement by the second.
"We're working on research," Al said.
"Research," said Padma. "Provided you're being safe, I don't care what you call it."
Al did not think it was actually possible for him to be any redder. He hadn't even thought that someone would make this assumption. He could hear the rhythm of laughter in Luna's breathing. To make it worse, a good chunk of Ravenclaw was milling around the common room, working on homework or playing games or reading. It was curfew, but curfew never meant bedtime. Especially not among Ravenclaws, who often ran a little nocturnal.
Padma seemed to be acutely aware of this, perhaps even hoping to use the stick of public embarrassment to constrain their behavior. He wished her luck, because Luna didn't seem embarrassed at all. And while Alphonse certainly was, he wasn't going to let it stop him from doing what he needed to do.
"It's important," he said. "You can ask Bruder if you don't believe me."
"No need," said Padma. "Ravenclaws are always drowning in personal projects. Just be aware of curfew and don't be stupid."
"Right," said Al. "We can do that." He pretended not to notice Padma's sly smile.
Luna went from breathing in a laugh-like way to actual laughter at his expense. Alphonse excused himself hastily. He had letters to write and a cat whose fur he could bury his face in until the embarrassment went away. If it ever went away. Thank goodness for cats.
On Tuesday morning, Alphonse fled Ravenclaw tower, not quite able to look at Padma where she'd set herself up in the corner of the common-room for some last minute homework.
It had taken Al a good amount of time to write up his thoughts the night before, but he was able to tie four letters to owls when he got to the Owlery. For Ollivander and Bill Weasley and Flamel, but also for Nyorok - it occurred to him that the goblins deserved to have some insight into wizarding politics, that they deserved some warning that Voldemort was being picked off piece by piece.
They were written in the absolute sparcest terms, because Al hadn't had time to establish codes with any of them except Ollivander. So he got the most details, and everyone else got veiled double speak and careful implication. Alphonse hoped it would be enough to get his point across without being interpretable by anyone other than the letter's intended recipient. If they didn't get the drift, well. Al would find a way to spread the word when he had the chance.
Alphonse and Ed had developed a few possible equations for alchemically destroying a horcrux, but the last time they tried to syncretize alchemy and magic, it had spectacularly blown up in their faces. It had worked, but. Well. The Headmaster's missing hand and depleted magical reserves definitely served as an object lesson in checking your math backwards and forwards with other experts before attempting life-altering transmutations.
It was a lesson they probably should have learned years ago, Al reflected. But when you didn't even need to draw a circle anymore, when the math came so naturally, it was easy to get cocky. But this was important. They'd spent so much time building up a network of thinkers and experts here - it would be silly not to use it.
He gave each owl a treat from his pocket and ventured down for breakfast. Insinuations from worried prefects aside, Alphonse felt absolutely no embarrassment when he plopped down in his usual seat next to Luna.
Word Count: 3630
Posted: 11/18/2022
Important Announcement: There are only around fifteen chapters left of TSL, and ten of those are already written. The rest is outlined pretty thoroughly, too. I am not entirely sure how frequently I'll be updating while I write the last few chapters, but I'll be posting here and there. Once I've finished writing, which should happen before the end of the year, we'll be getting an update a week until everything is posted.
Second Important Announcement: Pls help your struggling library science grad student writer by filling out a survey on privacy in fandom spaces, focusing on users here on FFN and over on AO3. It's just over twenty questions long, entirely multiple choice, and you can skip any you like. But y'all I am so tired of school and I would love it if you made this paper easy to write! Links to it can be found over on my tumblrs: aggiepostemon and aggie-postemon (I ran afoul of account creation don't ask).
Thanks for reading!