LOST & FOUND

Lisbon goes to DC and marries Marcus Pike, has some kids with him, and then one day hears news that Patrick Jane has been killed by an angry suspect in Austin. Now nothing will ever be okay, ever again.

No worries - this really is a Jisbon story :) (and my first fanfic - which is exciting and terrifying in equal measure!) Rated T/M for some sexy scenes and occasional minor language.

PERFECT

It was another perfect day in suburban DC. Teresa Lisbon Pike looked around her perfect kitchen in her perfect house in her perfect neighborhood, and wondered why her life felt so… imperfect.

Not imperfect. More like average… boring… comfortable… (too comfortable).

Not comfortable… More like a fabricated lie.

She had no illusions about her feelings for Marcus, knowing in her deepest self that she'd 'settled' when she'd chosen him… when she'd left Austin… and her old job… (and Jane...) But still, she knew how great Pike's love was for her, and she counted herself lucky to have found a supportive partner in life, even if he didn't really flip her switch. Even if he wasn't the one true love of her life.

Today was a busy day, with preschool pickups for her & Marcus' 2 kids, and an FBI dinner party later that night (she was glad she'd booked the caterer in plenty of time, because neither she nor Marcus were great cooks). She remembered how masterful Jane had been in the kitchen, then swatted away the memory before it could reach her heart.

The garage door opener engaged, announcing the return of her knight in shining armor. The man who'd saved her from a life of lies & games. The man who'd saved her from perpetual heartbreak. The man who'd saved her from…

…a real life.

…real fun.

…real spontaneity.

…real passion.

… real love.

She shook her head to clear the thoughts, and gave her husband a hug and a quick peck on the lips. Marcus pulled her in closer for a longer, deeper kiss. She pulled away apologetically. (After all, there was so much to do for the party tonight!)

Just then her phone lit up with an unknown caller. She recognized the Austin prefix and answered immediately. It was an agent named Farson, calling on behalf of Dennis Abbott.

"Teresa Lisbon?"

"This is she."

"Abbott asked me to call, and he offers his regrets at not calling, himself, but things are crazy here right now and he's with the team at the hospital."

"No problem, how can I help y - Hospital? What's happened there, Farson?!"

"It's Patrick Jane. I'm afraid it's bad news"

As if by a million bolts of lightning, Lisbon was struck in every nerve ending and every brain cell and every beat of her heart all at once.

"What about Patrick Jane?! What happened?!"

"He was ambushed on his way out of the FBI by a disgruntled suspect, and shot multiple times. The doctors tried everything they could but… I'm afraid he didn't make it."

Lisbon tried to gasp for air but the gut punch from her phone wouldn't allow her lungs to refill. This couldn't be right! Jane couldn't be gone! Her brain could make no sense of what she was hearing.

"Are you sure? He's really gone?" She tried unsuccessfully to quell the tears as she asked.

"I'm so sorry," Farson whispered, "I know you two were close."

Silence.

"Agent Lisbon?"

"Sorry, I'm here." Lisbon managed to say, between sobs.

"Abbott wanted to be sure you knew that you were on Jane's mind at the end. He came to, briefly, and asked for you."

"Oh Jane! Oh God!"

She imagined a dying, partially lucid Patrick Jane, desperately searching for her. What if he was confused & worried that she was in danger?! Jane never just worried, but usually full-on PANICKED in such situations!

Maybe if she'd been there she could have calmed him…. Could have protected him… Could have saved him…

"I should have been there," she whispered into the phone

"Again, I'm so very sorry." said the voice from Austin

Lisbon was inconsolable, shaking and collapsing into tears, sobs, and dry heaves.

Pike rushed back into his kitchen (after starting a movie for the kids, in another room), and enveloped Lisbon in a hug, trying beyond hope to calm her. Trying beyond hope to hold her breaking heart together in his embrace. Trying beyond hope to believe his love had the power to heal her. But, realistically, he doubted he had the pull to heal the Jane-sized wound in her heart and soul.

He had, of course, hoped that moving and marrying would make her forget about the infuriating consultant after time, but through the years, she never had. And she'd spoken more often to their kids about 'Uncle Patrick' than he would have liked - Telling them so many stories about Jane that the kids thought he was some sort of magical creature. Secretly, Marcus worried that his wife had a similar opinion. Her current state did nothing to dissuade him from those worries.

"I'm so sorry, babe. The office called to tell me about Jane." He offered, with earnest brown eyes focusing in concern. "We can cancel tonight, we can do anything you need or want to. I'm here for you. Are you okay?"

Why couldn't she love this man, who right now was being so damned understanding and sweet to her?

She saw the answers in her heart, as it broke wide open. There would only ever be one true love for her. On paper, Marcus was close to being 'the perfect man,' but he lacked one important trait: he was not Patrick Jane. He would never even hold a candle to the (reformed) charlatan conman with the unruly curls.

At the thought of his name, and his blonde mop of hair, and his sky-blue eyes that were deep as oceans, she broke down into full sobs once again.

"No, I am NOT okay!"

She sobbed and cried and caught just enough breath to shout:

"NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY EVER AGAIN!"

And with that, she ran from the kitchen, upstairs to their shared bedroom & locked the door, flinging herself face first onto the bed in a heap of grief… sinking into the blankets, and into cavernously deep regret and sorrow…

Through terrified and broken tears, she clenched her eyes closed, then brought them wide open - trying to wake from the nightmare of her worst fears come true.

She briefly wondered: would she be this destroyed if it had been Marcus?

Kicking and screaming his name – Dammit, Jane! - she hoped against hope that he would miraculously appear, sneak past her family, pick the lock and tiptoe in, alive & well.

Furious at the unfairness of it all, she flailed and punched, in grief, until she lost track of the edge of the bed, and dropped onto the hardwood below.

THUD!

She froze, thinking that the impact should have hurt more than it did. Then again, maybe she was numb to everything, in her grief. (She remembered Jane once mentioning how he physically ceased to feel things after his trauma. The nerve endings in his skin had sort of shut down - as a defense mechanism against repeating the hurt).

But no - the jolt of hitting a hard floor should've knocked her into consciousness - enough to notice the bruises that were surely forming, under the surface.

Wait a minute...

How had she gotten back into bed so quickly?

Also, the bedroom didn't look right.

And why was she in her Bears jersey instead of her 'mom clothes?' She hadn't cared enough to change out of them, during her angry rants at God for taking away the dearest person in her life… Again…

This was a familiar, but darkened room that was very much NOT the suburban DC bedroom she shared with Pike. Blinking away still-flowing tears, and consciously slowing her breathing, she fully awoke to a realization:

This was her bedroom.

In Austin.

On the night before she was to leave for DC!

In a state of shock and deja vu, she found her phone on the nightstand and checked the date.

Oh my God! Thank you Father in Heaven!

This is REAL!

I haven't LEFT YET!

Marcus and I are STILL SINGLE!

And JANE IS ALIVE!

Through fresh tears of joy and relief, her realities & priorities suddenly snapped into sharp focus. With a clearer head than she'd had in years, she knew what she needed to do. She looked once again at the date on her phone, then dialed:

"Hey Marcus. Yeah I know it's late but I need to tell you something important…"