Chapter 5 – Free Election
The people were excited about running for offices, so the meeting started earlier than any expected. Immediately after breakfast, Jack was swamped by people on the beach, writing down names for offices and those wishing to run. The openings were for Supervisor, five positions on the Council, and five for the Board. There were at least two running for each position. Which meant over half of the citizens were involved in the elections. His own name was listed under Supervisor, as was Sayid, Michael, and another man whose name had somehow escaped Jack.
But he was disappointed to see Kate had not run for any office. In fact, she was not at the meeting at all. Jack's eyes flew over the faces of the citizens, some he recognized, some he did not, yet. And with a sudden, sinking feeling, he realized Sawyer wasn't at the meeting either.
Kate had spent a good portion of the morning swimming in the ocean, around the bend from view of camp. Jack's words echoed in her head. The way his eyes burned with desire. Every time she closed her eyes she saw them. She told herself she was imagining it. She'd wished it so much and so deeply that her mind had tricked her into believing it was real.
But deep in her, she knew none of what transpired the night before between she and Jack had been imagination. And she was content to bask in that fact for a while, until she went back to denying it again. She wasn't yet ready to think further on the consequences of that realization.
Kate suddenly had the distinct feeling of a gaze burning into her back. A glimmer of hope sprung inside her until she turned to see Sawyer sitting on the rocks. Watching her. She turned quickly back to the horizon with a thrashing heart to plan out a course of action. Swimming away simply wasn't an option. But neither was going to him, she realized. Last night, she'd made the decision, apparently without notifying herself, that she was through with Sawyer. And so, armed with this knowledge that chased the embarrassment away, Kate slowly made her way toward the rocks.
"Hey." Sawyer began as she approached, with a smirk.
"Hello Sawyer." Kate replied coolly, daring to gaze evenly into his eyes.
"You're not at the meeting." He observed, and Kate was quiet. She'd tried not to think about the meeting.
"Neither are you."
"Touché." Sawyer said with a grin, and watched Kate pull her shirt and jeans back on over her wet undergarments. She straightened and fully intended on shooting him a cold stare before walking away, but found that he had slid off his perch on the rock and was now standing before her. He placed his strong hands at the curve of her waist and pulled her against him.
Kate looked into his sea blue eyes in surprise. Instead of the raw, intense desire that had sparkled behind them in their recent encounters, Kate saw something more demure. It was soft and…caring.
"I don't know why you said his name, and I don't care. But I do know that you don't want people to know about us. That pissed me off more than anything. For a little while. But I'm twisted around your finger so far that nothing could tear me away."
If at all possible, Kate's jaw dropped even further. Sawyer smiled and dropped his eyes for a moment. Was this really happening? Was Sawyer being shy yet open and honest about his feelings for her? For a moment, Kate was completely devoid of thought. Then, one pervaded, and persisted.
This is what I've always wanted.
Sawyer was strong enough to take her for his own, bold enough to tell her he wanted her, and still capable of true emotion. Emotion for her. If there was a perfect man, Kate knew at this moment, Sawyer would be it. The shy little smile, the caring blue eyes, and the possessive yet gentle grip that pulled her into his hips.
With no command from her brain whatsoever, her hands moved to slide down his rough cheek, and grasp around the back of his neck. Kate tilted her lips up to him and watched his eyes as he dropped his lips down to her. But just as she could practically taste his kiss, something flashed behind his eyes. That crude, rough passion that dominated most of Sawyer's life returned. He crushed his mouth over hers, sliding his hands down over her backside.
Kate wriggled in his grasp until he released her. She trembled with anger as she pushed herself away from him. She felt used and foolish for believing Sawyer's lying eyes. That he could be capable of true emotion for her. That he wanted more than a purely physical relationship.
Kate narrowed her eyes in a murderous stare and begun to walk away when she heard him ask in clear bewilderment, "So you're not going to come with me, now?" As much as she hated it, the sentence stopped her in her tracks.
Keep walking, keep walking, Kate. Keep walking. She willed her feet to move, but they instead turned her body around to face Sawyer. His blue eyes burned into hers. A shiver was sent through her body, of fear, anger or desire, she couldn't really tell, since those were the emotions battling for predominance inside her. Could she really betray the deeper feelings she held for Jack for a few hours of foolish and hollow pleasure with Sawyer?
Because I wanted to be near you for a while. Jack's words ran through her mind. The way his eyes looked when he said them. The way his scent washed over her, and the warmth from his body made her hold her breath in yearning.
"No." She said aloud, both to herself and to Sawyer. No, she wouldn't go with him, she couldn't betray her feelings. She couldn't betray Jack.
With that, she turned and walked away, feeling Sawyer's eyes on her as she disappeared around the bend of the beach. She could almost see his jaw drop and his brows furrow. Kate smiled at herself.
He'd been happy. That was what kicked him the most. He'd been basking in the aftermath of one of the greater achievements of his miserable life when she'd murmured Jack's name in the voice of a contented lover. He'd been angry at first, but it quickly melded into a deep sense of betrayal. He'd been thinking of her as she dreamed of Jack. He should've known.
Sawyer tried forgetting about the incident. He even approached Kate again to reconcile and regain his relationship with her, thinking that if he was a little less gung ho about the whole thing, she'd come back to him. That was what seemed to attract her to Jack. But he couldn't pretend to not want her. So she refused him.
He hardly knew anything about her, yet felt a connection deeper than any he'd felt before. She was exciting, a mystery. She was beautiful. Damn, she was beautiful. Sawyer didn't know what to do. No woman had refused him before. Not that it would've mattered if they had, he'd just have picked out a new target to swindle. But Kate was different. He wasn't after her for money or connections.
He was after her love.
There would be five days to campaign, and the sixth day would be elections. Hurley, who was not a candidate for any office, offered to be the official ballot collector. Citizens were to cast their ballots with him on Election Day for all eleven offices.
It was the first day of campaigning and candidates had gotten up on their makeshift soap boxes and were preaching to small groups of people. Kate stood at the back of a small crowd with a smile, watching Michael speak about what he'd do for the island if he were elected Supervisor.
"Why didn't you run for Supervisor?" A voice asked in a whisper close to her ear. The hair on her arms stood at attention. She recognized the warmth of his body and the scent that followed him before he spoke. Kate bit her cheek hard to suppress the maniacal smile she felt bubbling inside her.
"Didn't want to beat you, Jack. I knew your ego couldn't take that kind of a blow." She replied with a smirk, throwing a glance over her shoulder to see him smiling at her. The playfulness in her eyes was like a blow to the chest; it took his breath away.
Kate watched Michael, but his words were drowned by the thoughts screaming in her head. She could feel Jack's body close behind her. His scent and warmth seemed to pull at her, and she fought the urge to lean back into him and let him wrap his arms around her.
She didn't realize Michael had finished his speech until the applause erupted around her. She clapped politely as the people hovered around him, praising him.
"He'd be a good one." Jack commented, still hovering close to her.
"Yeah. He's very level headed." Kate agreed, and they watched him for a moment, neither wanting to walk away, but not knowing quite what to say, either.
"Are you going to make a speech?" Kate asked, turning to Jack, with a hint of a smile at the thought of Jack campaigning to be elected. He grinned and looked at his feet.
"I wasn't planning on it, but Hurley's lobbying pretty hard for one."
The lightness in his eyes contrasted his otherwise weary appearance, and Kate marveled at the idea that she might be the reason for it. She did not protest against the warmth that tingled into her very fingertips as he gazed down at her.
Kate managed to form words. "I think you should." She said, very matter of factly.
"Okay." Jack nearly whispered, the grin that had taken residence on his lips since seeing Kate that morning dissipating into a look of amorous obedience. Kate blinked in near confusion at how easily she got him to agree with her opinion.
"Oh, okay good. Not that you'll need to campaign very hard to get elected or anything." She attempted to diffuse the dangerous tension that she'd quickly returned to convincing herself she was imagining between them. "I'll be looking forward to it." She said over her shoulder as she walked away, striving to keep her pace in check so she wouldn't run and take cover in her tent.
Kate sat on an airplane blanket, surrounded by walls of blue tarp and scrap metal. She was really far gone, she realized, if she'd gotten to the point of imagining the meaning behind his smile and the light in his eyes.
"Forget it. Forget it." She chanted to herself, and took a few deep breaths. She wouldn't let herself get thrown all out of whack over a smile and a conversation that probably didn't mean what she thought it did. And she most definitely would not misread his signals and make a fool out of herself in front of him.
Because I wanted to be near you for a while.
She tried desperately to find any other possible meaning to the words. Maybe he was worried about her and wanted to be sure she was safe for a while before he went back to the caves. Maybe she was the only one on the island that didn't want him to solve all of her problems. Or worse, he just enjoys her company as a friend.
He loves you.
She swatted the voice away and threw herself onto her blanket, staring at the ceiling. And for a moment, for just a fleeting instant, Kate let her mind explore the minutest possibility that she hadn't been imagining or misreading all the signs. What if he really did want to see her face one more time before leaving the beach? What if those smiles really were playful and flirtatious? Kate grinned at the thought, the butterflies long dormant reawakening to cause a tumult in her gut.
"Knock, knock." Sawyer's distinct drawl was heard from immediately outside her shelter. Kate started in surprise, jerking herself upright. She shook off the dread that had sprung upon her and took a breath before exiting.
"What do you want, Sawyer?" She asked, finding it harder than expected to be distant while standing before him. He furrowed his brow.
"Just wanted to ask one more time if you'd come hang out with me for a while."
Kate scoffed. She knew what he meant. And the thought of it now brought a grimace to her face.
"Sorry, Sawyer. That ship's set sail and sunk in the harbor."
He furrowed his brow deeply. "You can't just quit cold turkey that like."
"You're not as good as you think." Kate said with a smirk as she brushed past him.
Sawyer's blank look of bafflement said what the words that had escaped him couldn't. His gaze followed her as she walked away, his jaw still ajar. Up ahead, Kate heard Jack's voice, and saw him standing in front of a crowd. A much larger crowd than Michael had held rapt in his audience, Kate noted with a smile of pride. The people were much more interested in what Jack had to say.
Kate took a spot at the rear left of the crowd, where she had a good view of Jack from head to foot. Even when campaigning, he wasn't campaigning. He spoke as if he were talking to them as one person, a friend, in a deep conversation by the fire alone at night. A half smile still set upon her lips, Kate watched him speak.
"Um, there's not much to say that you don't already know. All I want for us is organization and security for all of us. We need rules to protect us from each other. Not that I don't trust you, but we all know how crazy things can get on this island." Jack said with a smile, and a chuckle ran through the crowd of about 1/3 of the inhabitants of the island, beach and caves. His eyes ran over the faces of the citizens, until his gaze rested on her. His expression changed ever so subtly than none other than her probably noticed it. He relaxed, his eyes blending from demure to bold and fiery. She grinned and inclined her head at him.
Jack bit his lip to keep the smile from his face upon seeing her grin. He dipped his head slightly and continued.
"And I know some of you have been concerned about the issue of privacy and the duty of the council to revoke it in extreme conditions. I can personally assure you that the power will not be abused. Our Constitution is checked and balanced, and if at any point the citizens as a majority feel any branch is misusing its power, there are procedures to keep them checked." His eyes flicked quickly over to Kate, then jumped back to the crowd. "More permanent settlements should be raised, for comfort and so there will be a bit more privacy from each other."
Jack's voice blended into the muffled sounds of the island as Kate lost herself in her thoughts once again. She must've been stupid not to see it before, she realized. She had been too absorbed in wallowing in self pity to notice the look in his eyes as he looked at her, and that a grin always seemed to appear when she was around.
Or maybe those looks have only recently developed. Maybe now that Jack had settled in enough with the island and let this government idea take enough burdens off his shoulders so he could focus on other things. On really living.
"So I guess that's it." Jack concluded unpretentiously, and his crowd applauded politely for him and some approached him to ask questions while others dispersed. Kate herself didn't move. The breeze picked up and threw a strand of her hair over her eyes. She tucked it behind her ear and watched the same breeze ruffle the bottom of Jack's button down shirt and blow it up enough to reveal the waistband of his jeans. Kate swallowed hard.
Jack said goodbye to his last fan, and spied Kate watching him. He smiled and looked away coyly before walking to her.
"So what'd ya think?" Jack asked of her. Kate tilted her head and was quiet, content in studying his face as he squinted against the bright sun.
"It was good." She nearly whispered. Jack smiled.
"Come walk with me?" He asked, and Kate's heart nearly imploded on itself. Funny how the same words could strike such different emotions in her if only said by a different person. She managed a calm nod.
They strolled along the length of the beach in companionable silence for a while, until Kate felt she should say something. But words fit for the situation eluded her. Jack saved her, though.
"I'm not sure I really want to be Supervisor after all." He admitted, and Kate looked to him with a furrowed brow. Jack took note of it and felt the need to explain. "Well, I mean I always hated that people sort of made me their unofficial leader. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't help them."
"Well, now it'll be official. And now you know what to do, don't you?"
"I don't know. I can't help but wonder if I ran because I felt that's what people expected of me." He mused quietly, watching the horizon as they walked.
"To hell with them." Kate said unexpectedly. Jack stopped and looked to her in amusement, waiting for her to elaborate. "Who cares what they want from you. What do you want for you?" She said pointedly, lightly touching her index finger to his chest.
"What do I want for me?" He repeated, and looked up at the sky, as if pondering hard. "I want you." He said, looking back to her. All expression had drained from her face. Jack could almost hear her mind racing.
Did he really just say that? Was it her mind playing tricks? No, she dismissed the thought. All the sweet things he said to her that made her nearly jump out of her skin were more real than anything she'd ever heard.
When Kate couldn't find words for a moment, Jack filled the demanding silence with a nervous chuckle and diverted his eyes from her gorgeous hazels, which begged from him so many answers.
"Wow, what a conversation killer." He joked. Kate finally snapped from her shock.
"I just…wow…that was…unexpected." She laughed, mostly at her stupid description of the one thing she'd yearned so long to hear. Jack watched her face as she laughed. The way her eyes squinted and her lips curved. He began to chuckle and broke into laughter when Kate leaned forward onto her knees, musical laughter still bubbling from her.
When they caught their breath, they heard applause from down the beach. Sayid was giving his speech. Jack looked to her and nodded in Sayid's direction. Together they walked to the back of his crowd and listened to the Iraqi speak in his level toned voice.
Sayid made a convincing argument, though Kate still believed whole heartedly that Jack would win the race for Supervisor, whether he wanted it or not. The people trusted him. He'd gotten them this far.
Sawyer felt as if Kate had punched him in the face. He'd have preferred it, in fact, to the iciness she was showing toward him. When she'd refused to go with him the day before, he'd seen her make the decision. Watched the uncertainty and weight of consequences run past her eyes. She was done with him.
He suppressed the urge to clutch his heart in pain. How could she throw him aside like that? The way she'd clung to him during their encounters before had led him to believe that she needed him. She'd shouted his name in such a way that he felt she was falling for him.
Leave it to him, he thought bitterly, to screw up something so perfect. He wasn't sure what he did, but knew he had to have done something to scare her away.
Wait, it wasn't him. The thought lit like a light bulb. It was someone else. It was Jack. Of course. He knew she'd wanted the Doc in the beginning. He wasn't stupid. The way she laughed around him, and the way she looked at him could only mean one thing. It was the way she'd looked at him as they made love in the jungle.
And now, she was watching him with those eyes again. He was just a distraction from the pain of not being wanted by the one you want. She used him. How could she do that to him? He loved her!
Sawyer had grit his teeth in anger at her, but his expression slackened at the thought of the "L" word. It had slipped through his mind so easily that it must be true. There hadn't been a doubt in him. But he hated himself for realizing it. Because it would make the pain of losing her just that much more intense.
The sun had set, and Jack still lingered on the beach. He'd made a small fire of his own while Kate had gone to scavenge something to eat. He stared into the fire, and suddenly, words came from his memory. A ship in the harbor is safe, Jack. But that is not what ships are for. John Locke had told him. He'd mulled over the meaning behind it for a while, trying to push away the sneaking suspicion he had of why Locke told him that so cryptically.
He'd held back for so long. Buried those feelings he never thought he'd feel for someone again. He told himself not to act on them, because they'd be rescued, and he'd never see her again. Because they should concentrate on surviving. But now, he knew he'd been holding back because he was scared. Terrified he'd bare his soul to her and be rejected. She was a hard woman to read. He never knew what she was thinking. Never knew if she thought of him, if she knew he thought of her.
Everyone knew Sayid and Shannon had found love. They saw it in their demeanor, the way they acted around each other. Why would it be wrong for him to find love? The answer came to him without having to think: It wouldn't.
I read The Da Vinci Code the other day, and thought it was just amazing. It reminded me of National Treasure and sort of Indiana Jones type thing. Has anyone else read it? I really just tore through it in two days flat. I couldn't put it down. Anyway, I changed this chapter a little bit after I initially wrote it, so I hope you like it. And, I hope you keep reviewing. THis story hasn't been as successful in the Review department as I'd hoped it would be, but I'm not too worried about it.
I'm sure many, if not all of you have heard about ff.n's alleged ban on authors addressing their reviewers in the chapter. If the rumor is true, it's completely ridiculous, and I urge you all to pass on the e-mail you may receive concerning it.
XxLauraxX– Thanks for the review. Love new readers!
Eclypse – Hey you! Have fun at that concert!
LostGirlKate – Thanks! And don't worry about it.
NYR88, Elvenlady, Hekate-Trivia - Thanks for reading and reviewing:)
-Austin B.