Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi's. Not mine.
Someday
Sometimes, you think the worst part is the numbness. You know that you should feel something when you kill those people, that you are supposed to feel something, but you don't. There is no anger or hate, that would cause you to kill them. There is no sorrow or regret for taking their life. There is nothing but the emptiness that fills you, that comes over you until you will do whatever he tells you because there is nothing inside you to make you stop. Yes, that is the worst part.
Then at other times, you think that the worst part is not knowing. Not knowing how you came to be in his service, who you were before he found you. Not knowing who that girl is, the one who is always in your dreams, the one whose face you remember but whose name escapes you. And when you try to ask, tell him that all you want is one name, he makes you forget all over again. No matter how hard you try to hang on, everything slips away until once again, you know nothing. So yes, that is the worst part.
But maybe the worst part is those few times when you do know something, where you remember flashes of what must have been your old life, before he found you: that girl, holding a two-tailed cat, the girl showing you how to use a weapon, the girl in a uniform, waving goodbye, the girl smiling, the girl laughing, the girl playing. The girl.
Sometimes, you can almost remember her name. It is at those times that you are closest to being free, to remembering everything. Someday, you will be able to be free, of him and everything that he represents. Someday, you will remember the girl's name, and you will be happy, like you were before. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or the next day. Maybe not next week, or even next year.
But someday.
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(A/N: Very, very short little ficlet. Attacked me while I was playing Solitaire, and I just had to get it down. Please review! I thrive on them! I will wilt if you do not give me feedback!)