As the shaking and tears subsided, the two men on the bed separated, bringing each other into focus. Gojyo grinned,
"Aww, ya big softy!" he said playfully, wiping Hakkai's tears from his cheeks, careful to avoid his cut. Hakkai smiled – one of his rare, genuine smiles as he swatted Gojyo's hand away.
"Does it hurt?" Gojyo asked, as he traced the line of the large cut across Hakkai's chest. Suddenly, Hakkai's barrier came up again. He blinked back the tears and his fake smile came back – never reaching his eyes.
"A bit, but I'm ok now. Where are Sanzo and Goku? No doubt, Sanzo's puffing away on his nicotine stick, and Goku's stuffing his face, eh?" Hakkai said, his voice empty of emotion, unable to meet Gojyo's eyes. It was like being physically slapped, Gojyo felt, as hewatched his friendretreat into himself. He was likely trying to ignore the fact that he just cried all over his best mate.
"Yeah, probably", the kappa answered, a frown on his face. "Listen, you know you can talk to me right? About anything?"
"Sure! You know, I could do with a drink of water, please?" Hakkai tried to change the subject, but in vain. Gojyo picked up a nearby glass and filled it from the sink. He passed it to Hakkai, who only drank a small sip.
"I mean anything, even about…that…" Gojyo let his hand come to rest on Hakkai's old scar over the shirt he was now wearing. Gojyo had replaced the bloodstained shirt with a fresh one, for he knew how uncomfortable Hakkai was with other people seeing his scar. "You were clutching it in your sleep, and calling out." Gojyo saw the youkai's barrier flicker, his eyes showing a hint of pain and something else Gojyo couldn't name. Hakkai didn't answer, he just looked down at Gojyo's hand, still resting on his scar. "Is it because of who those guys were, who attacked you? What they said to you? I know. I found them. They're dead now." At this, Hakkai's eyes flicked back to Gojyo's, full of concern. Hakkai ran his hand up Gojyo's arm, coming to rest at his bandage.
"I see." They sat together in silence, as the minutes ticked by.
"Well?" Gojyo enquired, "If you won't tell me, I'll tell you, yeah? These four youkai that attacked you in the market, they were brothers of the youkai you killed because of Kanan. They wanted revenge for what you did, and so jumped you in the market when they saw you buying supplies. Accurate so far?" Hakkai had no reply, he merely nodded, his eyes never leaving Gojyo's bandage. "So, when you fought back, they got really mad. One of them punched you, here", he said, looking at where his hand was. "This was especially painful for you, even more so than when they slashed at you with their claws. Because this is what reminds you of Kanan."
Gojyo could now see tears forming in Hakkai's eyes, dripping silently onto his arm. "I'm guessing that they threatened to kill us – your travelling companions too, as I heard you call out my name in your sleep. You had just enough strength to escape and found your way back to my door. And here we are now." Hakkai still said nothing, and so Gojyo lifted his face with his hand, forcing Hakkai to look into his eyes. "Am I right?"
"Almost. There's something else. Something I never wished to share with you, but I feel I must." Hakkai wiped his own tears away, "I want to be honest, finally. But I will not take it back after I have said it. You may decide what to do with this…information…" Gojyo felt that this was the final barrier inside Hakkai, the others had crumbled, but this is what he held closest to his heart. Gojyo prayed for no more fake smiles, no more brush-offs, he wanted to know what Hakkai guarded so closely.
"Tell me." The kappa tried to convey all his thoughts and emotions towards Hakkai in one look, he wanted the youkai to know that he was listening, and that he could trust him with his secret. Perhaps this will help him finally let go of the past, he thought.