Author's Note: Hi! I'm sorry that this took so long...you won't believe the writers block I was going through. I think I broke it, though. Thank you once again for the wonderful comments, your all so nice! Things really start to heat up in this chapter...I hope you like it! Read and review, but no flames, thanks!

Chapter Four Chaotic thoughts and discoveries

Tea's legs felt like jello, weak and liable to collapse. Slowly, she forced herself to take a few light steps backward, before making a sharp turn and walking away. She plunged into the thick crowd of chattering students, occasionally bumping into someone and muttering apologies absentmindedly, her heart still pumping madly.

She had no idea what had come over her. And it wasn't just about freezing before she could giveKaiba the journal-but another emotion too. It was strange, as Kaiba had stood there, contemplating over what he was going to say to her, (which she still had no idea what) Tea was suddenly greeted by a rushing image of him as a child, orphaned and alone. Not only that, but she had also had a very abrupt desire to throw her arms around him and comfort him..

Tea felt her cheeks go bright red, and she shook the thought out of her mind. That was absurd. Still, she wished she could have returned the diary to him. She felt it's leathery cover beneath her fingers, and guilt surged through her insides. You know your really quite pleased though. She heard a voice inside her mind sneer. Really quite pleased that you can continue reading all his personal affairs...

"Tea, are you alright?"

Yugi's worried voice floated into the brunette's mind, breaking the nasty thought. Startled, Tea turned over to her friends, only realizing now that she had reached them.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she answered all to quickly.

"Well, if your sure..." Yugi didn't look very convinced, and his voice was slightly questioning.

Tea nodded fervently. Her grip, however, tightened over the book. She wondered if she should tell them about the diary. Yugi would surly know the right thing to do, after all, he always did.

But then again...Tea turned over to Joey. He seemed to have cooled of since before, but he kept shooting Kaiba dirty looks over his shoulder.

How would Joey react to finding Kaiba's diary? He certainly hated the CEO...wouldn't he want revenge?

A strange feeling twisted inside of Tea. If she didn't know better, Tea might havethought that she felt almost...protective over Kaiba. She chewed on her lip, what was going on with her? But she had no time of what, because in no time at all, Joey hadturned over to her, demanding an answer for her odd actions.

"Serenity, I'm home!"

Joey let himself into the house. He closed the door quickly, grateful for the heat inside. For a moment, all was silent, but seconds later he was greeted by the sound of coughing.

"Hey, Joey!" he heard his little sister shout, trying fruitlessly to stifle her coughs.

Joey threw his bag on couch, and headed upstairs,to his sister's room.

But for once,Serenity wasn't the only thing on his mind. His thoughts were constantly replaying the same scene. Joey, struggled to teach that creep Kaiba a lesson, while Tea's worried face glanced over to them before she finally walked to where Kaiba stood.

Joey scowled. Why had she done that? It had made no sense-sure, Tea had spouted out some nonsense about asking him if he had seen something she'd lost, but Tea was a horrible liar. All it took was the look on her face, and her diverted eyes to know she was fibbing.

Besides, it looked like Kaiba had been the one that had lost something... Joey's frown deepened. He hated not knowing what was going on.

But as he entered his little sister's room, he shook the thoughts out of his head.

"How ya feelin?" he asked protectively. The auburn certainly didn't look any better. Her cinnamon hair was tangled around her in a messy array, her nose still red, her eyes still droopy and tired. Still, he noticed one improvement, she was smiling.

"Much better, brother. Mai came over to visit me today while you were gone!"

"She-she what?" Joey inquired, going slightly red in the face.

He knew Mai was much older then him, but he couldn't help but remember how insanely beautiful she was.

Serenity smirked, even though Joey was trying hard to sound casual. "Yeah...it was nice to have some visitors for a change." Serenity's sweet smile suddenly vanished. "I don't have any friends in my own grade to come visit me." She fell silent, looking bitterly at the blank television that her father had brought for her as entertainment.

"That's just cause ya new." Joey assured her, pity running through him. "And cause ya so shy, once ya open up, everyone'll love ya."

Serenity broke her gaze and smiled. "Really?" she asked, now glowing. "Thanks, Joey!"

Joey grinned, glad to make his sister happy. He was, after all, always trying to look after her.

In higher spirits, Serenity went on to discuss how she hoped she wouldfeel better soon, so to do her Christmas shopping, and what Mai had to say on her visit.

"And then Mai goes off saying how it's going to be so easy to get Tea to go to the dance with Yugi, even with Tea finding Kaiba's journal-"

"What did ya say?"

Serenity let out a small gasp. Joey stared at her curiously, as the girl's brown eyes widened in horror. He must have heard her wrong...

But Serenity bit her lip, staring at her brother through anxious eyes.

"Oh, Joey, please, you won't tell, right?"

"Ya mean it's true?!" Joey exclaimed. "Kaiba's really got a diary?!" He broke off, hysterical at the prospect of his worst enemy writing down his secrets in a little book. He was on the verge of falling off his chair, but Serenity gave him a nervous stare.

Blinking tears of joy out of his eyes, Joey turned back to his sister. Realization finally hit him. "Wait a minute...you said Tea found it? When? She never told me!"

Suddenly something clicked inside his mind. Kaiba had been looking for something back at the cafeteria, and Tea had went over to him. She had obviously given him back the journal. Joey ran a hand through his blonde hair. But why had she lied to him? She did, after all, trust him. Didn't she?

"Oh please, Joey!" pleaded Serenity's voice, breaking Joey's train of thought. "I'm sure that it won't matter to Mai that I told you as long as you keep it a secret!"

"So Tea told Mai, but not me, huh?" Joey grumbled, more to himself then anyone else.

"Joey, it's a secret!" Serenity exclaimed, slightly hysterical now. "Don't tell anyone!"

Joey turned back to his sister, guilty that he had her so worried.

"Don't worry, sis, I'm not gonna tell anyone who doesn't already know."

Serenity stared at him skeptically. "What do you mean?"

A mischievous smile tugged the corners of Joey's mouth.

"Just gonna give Tea a call..."

Tea ran into the bustling Christmas shop, shivering as she pulled her pink jacket closer around slim frame. It was freezing outside. Snowing more then ever, the glistening flakes had settled in the trees, houses, and everywhere else they could get too.

For once, Tea had forgotten her guilt and troubles, as she browsed through the store, wondering vaguely what her friends would like for Christmas. She ran her fingers along a row of items, staring thoughtfully at a Duel Monsters book Yugi might be interested in.

Behind her, she heard something fall and shatter. "Damn..." a familiar voice muttered.

Tea suddenly felt like a bucket of ice cold water had come splashing down on her. It was Seto Kaiba.

Her hand automatically went to her pocket, where she still held the diary. She thought uncomfortably about how she should probably give it back to him-but remembering the how choked up she was before, she couldn't bring herself to try again.

Edging over to the shelf behind her, she moved a few items, allowing herself to see Kaiba through the other side. He looked irritated, as always, glancing at one thing to the next, but evidently not able to find what he wanted.

"No." he scoffed, shoving a box back onto the shelf. "This shop had nothing..."

Tea smiled softly. He must be looking for a present for Mokuba.

She wondered why before she never noticed how much Kaiba cared about Mokuba, even if he still acted like the same old Kaiba to everybody else. She leaned her shoulder against the shelf as Kaiba bent down to pick up whatever he had broken. She pondered over she had always taken him asjust some arrogant creep with no real feelings...

There came a soft tinkle of music from her bag. Her cell phone was ringing. Tea reached in to retrieve it, fumbling with her frozen fingers, and finally opened it.

"Hello, Tea here." she spoke into the phone.

"Tea! It's me, Joey." Tea nodded, though she knew he couldn't see her.

"Why are you calling?" she asked curiously. Joey hardly ever called her unless he had told her in advance that he would be doing so.

"Nuttin." Joey replied in a would-be-causal voice.

Tea angled her eyes. "Seriously, Joey, she asked, smirking slightly, what's this about?"

"I heard ya found someone's diary at school the other day. Why didn't ya tell me?"

Tea felt likea dozen ice cubes had just slipped down her throat. She was pressing the phone so hard against her ear that it was almost painful.

"How did you find out?" she whispered hastily into it. She could still hear Kaiba walking up and down aisles that were so veryclose to the one she was in.

"Serenity told me, I'll keep it a secret. But ya still didn't answer my question. How come ya didn't tell the rest of us?"

"How does Serenity know?!" Tea cried out frantically, completely ignoring Joey's question.

"Mai told her."

"What?!" Tea screamed out so loud that even the cashier stopped what he was doing to stare. Hands trembling, she couldn't even find her voice.

"Calm down Tea." Joey's voice said on the other end of the line. "I told ya, we're not gonna tell Kaiba anythin'. But how come ya didn't lemme see it? I'd love to know what money bags think's about!"

Tea barely heard Joey's words. She felt sick with anxiousness. Mai had obviously told Serenity, who couldn't keep a secret from her brother. How could Mai do that? Then again, why did Tea had to open her big mouth and tell Mai, who loved to pass on gossip?

Joey was saying something, but Tea wasn't listening.

"Listen, Joey, I'll call you back later."

Without waiting for a reply, she snapped the phone shut. Abandoning her Christmas shopping, she stormed out the door, into the snowy wonderland outside.

Normally this type of weather would make her heart fly. Nighttime was falling over the small town, which looked much like a Christmas card at the moment. Shining snowflakes clung to houses rooftops, and colorful Christmas lights winked all around her. Wreathes and mistletoe hung from people's windows. There was a strong feeling of Christmas and cheer in the air. But right now, Tea's emotions were fit to burst.

"This is all my fault..." she mumbled desperately. "Kaiba's definitely going to find out with all these rumors...and now that Joey knows..."

Tea had never felt like she wanted to keep a secret from her friends before. But as she stood there, with white flurries of snow whirling around her, she wished that she could have kept Kaiba's diary a secret from everyone.

It wasn't like she didn't trust them or anything, it was just that she knew how they felt about Kaiba, and she didn't feel like starting trouble. She chewed on her lip. Come to think of it, she probably wouldn't have told Mai either, but she had been so surprised at the mere fact of finding his diary, thatshe had felt as if she had to tell somebody...

Tea sighed. "I never meant to start anything..." she murmured.

She took the book out of her pocket. Icy snowflakes flicked against it's leather-bound cover.

This morning she hadn't been able to give it back, but she knew that if she scrape up the courage now, it was only going to stir up problems.

She walked back over to the shop, sheltering herself from the snow under the awning. The street lamps cast a yellowish glow right before her. Everything would have seemed so peaceful if she wasn't holding this little book in her hands....

She opened it hesitantly. With a shock of surprise, she realized that there was only one entry left.

Then again, Seto had been writing about Christmas in the first entry, which meant that he must have only gotten the book recently.

Tea glanced hastily at the door. Kaiba was still inside. She had read every other chapter...how much more damage could she cause reading the last of it? If she could skim a few lines before Kaiba came out...

Before she could help herself, her eyes snapped down to the words before her.

It's 3:00 in the morning, and I can't get back to sleep. This is ridiculous. These nightmares are driving me crazy-I don't think I can handle them anymore.

I know he's dead. Hell, I've been trying to convince myself that for years, but even so...It still feels like he's here. Breathing down my neck while I try so hard to answer all those questions he threw out at me.

I thought I was doing the right thing when challenged Gozaburo to that match. Thought that I was keeping the promise that I had made to my mother-the promise to always take care of Mokuba.

Gozaburo's son Noa had died. He was looking for a new heirfor his business. I needed to get us out of this orphanage, and I figured that being adopted by Gozaburo guaranteed us the perfect life, living in a mansion owned by a multi-millionaire.

But Gozaburo didn't seem too keen on adopting both me and Mokuba. That's why I challenged him to a game of chess. If I won he had to adopt us both. Gozaburo was the International Chess champion, he didn't pose me as much of a threat. Still,my challengeamused him, and so he accepted.

But something happened that Gozaburo didn't expect. I won the match. He kept his end of the bargain, and both me and Mokuba were ecstatic. We thought we were finally going to be happy, that we were finally going home. But we weren't.

I was Gozaburo's oldest heir now. And even though he had adopted me, he didn't seem to think I was nearlygood enough to run the business. He kept be working from day to night, hour after hour. I woke up at the crack of dawn, and didn't go to sleep until way past midnight. I was always exhausted.

But that wasn't the worst of it. It was what Gozaburo would do when I he felt I wasn't working up to his standards. He would beat me. And the problem was, I never lived up to his standards. It began to take over my mind. I was always in trouble, always experiencing more and more pain everyday. I barely slept, I barely ate, the only thing I did was study, so not to get punished again, but it happened anyway.

Fortunately, Gozaburo seemed to leave Mokuba alone, unless he got in the way of my training. I tried to keep Mokuba out of it, but he never seemed to listen. Only when I told Mokuba that the best way he could help me was by making sure he was alright, did he stop. And even then he never hesitated to get involved.

I remembered my first night there so clearly. I crawled into bed, battered and bruised, sobbing to my dead mother how sorry I was for breaking my promise. Mokuba wasn't safe here.

Sometimes I wonder-

But Tea never found out what Kaiba wondered. At that exact moment, she felt the book being ripped violently out of her hands. Tea's eyes automatically averted to the one responsible. She froze, her heart stopping mid-stream.

Before her stood Seto Kaiba, looking livid. He was literally trembling, his knuckles white ashis hands clenched tightly onto his diary. His icy eyes were fixed upon her, and seemed to hold utmost loathing.

In a shaken voice, he spoke.

"Just what...do you think your doing?"

Author's Note: Yeah, I know, another cliff-hanger. I'm sorry about that for those who hate them. I got a review from Alex telling me not too...sorry, it's just that this is going to be a big scene, and I need a while to think of how exactly I want to put it. But until then, I wanted to put this up. No flames, please read and review!