Slytherin Singing Sensation
A very surprising sight greeted the Gryffindors when they entered the Great Hall this morning, reports Sirius Black, Gryffindor Oracle reporter. The Gryffindors went to their table this morning to find Lucius Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Severus Snape, Narcissa Black, and Evan MacNair standing on the Gryffindor table, all dressed in very--er--inappropriate red dresses, black top hats, and black feather boas. To the surprise and amusement of the Gryffindors, the Slytherins began to burst into song the moment the Gryffindors entered the Hall.
The song, called: "American Pie" was hilariously sung by the Slytherins to the Gryffindors, and interruptions by a furious Professor McGonagall were of no avail--the Slytherins seemed unable to stop singing until the entire eight minute song was over. ("American Pie" happens to be a Muggle song by the Muggle artist Don McLean.)
But who did this atrocious prank? The evidence points to Muggle-born--the use of a Muggle song would suggest knowledge of Muggle pop culture, but there are no likely suspects.
"Don't you give me that crap, Black," Severus Snape hissed to your flustered reporter. "You and those wretched Marauders were behind it again."
But Snape's accusations seem to fall on deaf ears. "If you ask me, the Slytherins had to do this of their own free will," said Frank Longbottom. "I mean, it is out of character, true, but unless someone used the Imperius Curse on them, there was no way anyone could force them to sing."
Indeed, the greatest question in this new mystery is not who, but how someone forced the Slytherins to sing at breakfast. Suggestions of the Imperious Curse have been rumored, but no feasable conclusion has come to light. "If anyone has any information, report it to me immediately," Professor McGonagall said wearily, with the faint hint of a smile. "This was a silly and childish prank and anyone who did it should be ashamed of themselves."
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
The Yule Ball is coming up, and I can't get a date. What should I do?
-Dateless
Dear Dateless,
Do I look like a dating service? I don't know, go ask your friends or something!
Moony
Dear Moony,
Do you ever get tired of people asking you stupid questions?
-Padfoot
Dear Padfoot,
Yes. Go back to sleep. Stop intruding on my column. You have your own.
Moony
Dear Moony,
My parents wouldn't let me go into Hogsmeade. Can I sneak in?
-Stranded at Hogwarts
Dear Stranded at Hogwarts,
Third statue on the left in the seventh wing, tap it and say: "Kamira." Of course, this doesn't lead to Hogsmeade, you understand. If any teacher asks you, you didn't hear it from me.
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Notice: the Lion's Roar has been substitued this week for an advice column by Alice Remerta.
Emergency Ball Preperations
Every girl knows that the Yule Ball is approaching rapidly, and every girl is frenzying about what to wear, what the fashions are, what makeup to do, and how to find a date. All this worrying causes a lot of stress! Alice Remerta, your Ball prep professor, has come to help you solve your problems!
Dress robes are traditionally worn to the Yule Ball, but sometimes care is needed when choosing one. The color of the season is blue, in shades varying from cyan to sky blue to turquoise, and a shade can be found that matches you almost perfectly easily. The cut of the year is more of a dress style, with long flowing skirts, tight bodices, and long flowing sleeves, usually worn with belts of varying metallic shades (which can be bought if you come to dorm room 10 after 9pm).
Hair styles this year are changing from minute to minute, but no need to worry, because I have personally investigated the latest trends of the moment. Models this winter are going for tight buns with loose wisps of hair framing the face, and another popular style is to curl it around your shoulders, framing your face with the natural curve.
Makeup this year has gone from overbearing blue eyeshadow to nearly naked, and the trick to looking fablous this year is to put on as little as possible to make yourself look beautiful. Red lipstick is a thing of the past, girls going for a soft pink shade instead, and blue eyeshadow goes in the garbage can. Instead, try some natural tan or brown colors, and use mascara to make your lashes longer, making your eyes appear larger and more liquid.
Having trouble getting a date? No problem. I have composed a list of eligible bachelors who are ripe for the picking which can be found if you stop by dorm room 10 after 9pm. The Yule ball is the time to make yourself stand out as the most beautiful girl in Hogwarts, and I'm here to help you do it! This has been Alice Remerta with Emergency Ball Preperations--if you need any more help, stop by dorm rom 10 after 9pm and you will find help! And if you have any good ball stories, slip it under dorm room 10 the week following the ball--it could appear in the Lion's Roar next week!
Lioness Poetry
The Lioness has once again picked a poem from the twenty-two under her door, and her favorite one appears below. Thanks all you participants!
Christmas
Snow drifts gently to the ground,
fairy lights softly light the air,
trees sparkle with silver frost
a holiday filled with love and care.
-a third year
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 280 Hufflepuff: 251
Slytherin: 222 Ravenclaw: 210
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 73, 3rd edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole and Natalie, who she is made after, as well as any minor characters.
Author's Notes: Marauders & Lily are in 5th year, got some questions about that...that's all so far, enjoy!