The Gryffindor Mystery
All readers are familiar with the Lioness's column that appears in the Gryffindor Oracle every week. But the question still remains--who is the Lioness?
"We've never actually seen the Lioness," admits Alice Remerta, editor and gossip columnist of the Gryffindor Oracle. "She sends in her column through owl post and we print it in the Oracle. She's a published poet and will occasionally slip one or two of her own poems in the Oracle, but we don't know who she is. She's really strange on her column, too," she adds. "Sometimes it's a thought of the day, sometimes poems, sometimes word of the week. She's really random."
But somehow, people with poems, thoughts, or ideas always know where to send them. "You know where to send your poetry to the Lioness," says one anonmous fifth year poet. "And it's not a dorm room you slip your poem under, it's a door on the third floor."
Speculation on the identity of the Lioness ranges everyone from Alice Remerta to Peter Pettigrew. But the mystery continues, and the Lioness remains hidden. Maybe, in light of this article, the Lioness may come out in the open, for she is a very revered picture of Gryffindor culture.
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
I hate my sister, she's always stealing my socks. My best friend suggested I put a lock on my trunk, but I don't want to make her feel unloved, what should I do?
-Sockless
Dear Sockless,
Mistmach your socks so they don't match. It's more interesting and nobody will steal socks that don't match.
Moony
Dear Moony,
No matter how hard I try, I can't get rid if the Doxies in my closet. I've tried everything I can think of and a proffesional costs too much. What should I do?
Trouble with Doxies
Dear Trouble with Doxies,
What year are you? Can't you go take Care of Magical Creatures class? Borrow money off your friends? What do I look like, an exterminator?
Moony
Dear Moony,
My Potions essay is due tomorrow and I have absolutely no idea what powdered moonstone does in potions! Can you help me?
-Suck in Moonstone
Dear Stuck in Moonstone,
Am I some universal essay-writing machine? Powdered moonstone is sparkly, and Sirius knows about sparkly things, so just ask him.
Moony
Dear Moony,
Fanfic authors keep abducting me and my friends to do...MSTs. I'm beginning to get traumitized, I'm hearing disembodied voices everywhere, always making sarcastic comments to what people say, and I know the future! It's driving me insane!
-Sick of MSTs
Dear Sick of MSTs,
What's an MST? I suggest you get counseling...or get a good Memory Charm.
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Wondered what's going on in Gryffindor? Ever wanted to know what's happening? Well, now you can find out from the Queen of Gossip herself...
Lion's Roar
Love seems to cool off this weekend with the approach of the first week in January, and even the usually warm Gryffindor common room seems chilly. The Astronomy Tower sees less and less snogging couples this week as two feet of snow top it, preventing lovesick couples from expressing their sentiments. And the relationships are definately on the downhill.
Sirius Black has no fling this week, dumping his latest fling for no one. He has been seen with a mysterious Slytherin girl, but these sightings seem to be nothing more than rumors as he hates all Slytherins with a passion known to everyone in Gryffindor who has woken up to find the Slytherin population green-haired.
New, disturbing discoveries are happening with the Lily-James love-hate relationship this week. Just after the two were seen snogging in the Library, Lily reportedly smacked James across the face with a heavy Arithmancy book, leaving him with serious brain damage, which she says irritably: "he already had." Better luck next time, James.
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Roar, the Gryffindor gossip column. Have any juicy tidbits of gossip? Share it with me--slip it under dorm room 10 and it could appear in Lion's Roar!
Lioness's Thought of the Week
The Lioness's thought of the week. This week's thought: the hearts of Gryffindors.
The reason why Gryffindor is such a great house is because the loyalty in it is not blind, and it is most definitely earned, even if it is sometimes earned quite rapidly. Hufflepuff is all too loyal, sometimes for no good reason, and Slytherin not loyal in the least. Ravenclaws tend to have fewer people skills, so they don't know loyalty, they know only logic. Gryffindors know both, and it makes them the wisest house of all.
The Lioness
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 400
Hufflepuff: 400
Slytherin: 399
Ravenclaw: 400
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 115, 6th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Author's Notes: Reviewers CAN ask Moony questions, I'd love it! And I need article ideas...that's the hardest part to write. I'm thinking about adding more sections, so all reviewer ideas and feedback are welcome! Moony did write the poem last edition, go Phoenixgirl1234567! James and Lily's realtionship is not really the point of this fic, for klb14345, who asked. It's a strictly humor fic. I also need gossip column ideas and am searching fanfics for good ideas.
Thanks to: Radix Lecte for the SOB idea, my friend Liam Dakred and silver-sparklze for Moony questions. You should all be glad I got this chapter finished, because I am writer's block -- Auteur avec le bloc de l'auteur - which means literally Author with the block of the author, but oh well. I'm learning french. Tell me if you like the new style or not.
-Le petit aliene violet auteur