Quidditch Quarks
This weekend's Slytherin vs. Gryffindor game was exciting and neck-to-neck, writes Sirius Orion Black, reporter for the Oracle and commentator for Quidditch matches. The exciting match this weekend was hilighted by a spectatcular capture of the Snitch by the Gryffindor Seeker, Jordan McWhorter. James Potter, the Gryffindor Quidditch captain, had an excellent setup at the game, all the chasers in perfect formation, and the Beaters broke a total of five Slytherin arms.
The game began with an exciting neck to neck chase of speed and skill on the part of the chasers, weaving in and out of the giant Slytherins, the Quaffle racing back and forth so fast the eye of your flustered commentator could hardly follow it. The Bludgers were as deadly as cannonballs at the hands of the two skilled Gryffindor beaters, Lacey Almea and Gregory Kingsley, and we have injured Slytherins to prove it.
"They weren't fast enough," a smug Lacey Almea told your Oracle reporter. "Me and Greg are the best of the best at Beating, and those slow, fat Slytherins can't avoid the Bludgers."
"It was an excellent match," James Potter told me, excitement still lighting up his eyes. "Most satisfactory. Our Chasers, Akima Lyons, Trinity Rays, and me, were in perfect form, our Seeker was faster than lightning, and our Beaters were un-Beatable. It was the best match of the season."
This astounding win, with a final score of 200 to 30, makes Gryffindor the favorites to win the Quidditch cup. "Personally, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw don't have a chance," Jordan McWhorter, Gryffindor Seeker, confides. "Slytherin might make their way back up, but with a score like this, I don't think we'll have to worry about the Quidditch cup not coming in our pockets."
The Gryffindor Team continues to make their way to the top, and now your reproter is off to go celebrate.
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
Padfoot thinks I'm a girl. What should I do?
-Wormtail
Dear Wormtail,
If Padfoot thought you were a girl, he would have hit on you.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I know what you are. I'm one too. Can we meet up sometime?
-Gryffindor In Love
Dear Gryffindor In Love,
Yes, we're both students. No.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I have a strange obsession with silver bullets. I can't remember the spell to change ordinaryones into silver though. Do you know?
-Bullet Freak
Dear Bullet Freak,
You have a problem. Go get counseling. You don't need silver bullets.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I'm a necrophiliac. Can you play like you're dead?
-Obsessive Dead Lover
Dear Obsessive Dead Lover,
You are sick and have serious problems. Go to Sirius for counseling.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I am allergic to feathers. My teachers are always giving me detentions because I can't use quills, do my homework, take notes, etc. What should I do?
-Fear of Feathers
Dear Fear of Feathers,
Use a ballpoint pen. It's a very useful muggle invention. Lily has some.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I am secretly in love with a Slytherin, but he completly ignores me, doesn't wash his hair, and loves the Dark Arts too much to pay attention to me! What should I do?
Hopeless Snake Lover
Dear Hopeless Snake Lover,
You're obsessed with SNAPE?? You have problems. Get counseling.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I knwo you keep stealing my chocolate. The Hershey goods are mine! What I want to know is how you found my stash!
- Enraged Chocoholic
Dear Enraged Chocoholic,
Sirius keeps stealing your chocolate.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I have a BIG problem with your friend Sirius. He's always trying to ask me out! I don't think that James had that conversation with him about me as I suggested. He's still trying! I mean, there's no wrong with him, I like him VERY much, but I don't think he likes me and only tries to ask me out because he want to tease me.
-In love
Dear In Love,
If you like him and he's asking you out, go out with him. What's the big deal? Why are you girls always making things so complicated?
Moony
Dear Moony,
What's the best way to convice your sworn enemy that you did NOT put an itching charm on all of their underwear, write ''LILY (heart) JAMES 4EVER" all over the girl's bathroom stalls and still have a foundation of trust in your friendship?
-NOT Guilty
Dear NOT Guilty,
A good memory charm.
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Editor's Note: Due to the overwhelming responses to the 'Ask Moony' column and the fact that the gossip columnist is sick with the flu, there will be no Lion's Roar this week, but if you really want to know the gossip news, just read the girl's bathrooms, all of which currently read: LILY (heart) JAMES4EVER.
Lioness Thought of the Day
Suckers Rule, Rulers Suck.
The Lioness
Weather
The Great Hall looks stormy tonight, gray clouds rolling around the ceiling and lightning bolts dotting the sky overhead. Anyone afraid of storms is cautioned to eat in the kitchens tonight, because that sky is looking just scary, folks. But after a storm tonight, your forecaster is predicting sunshine bright and early tomorrow morning, followed by a sunny, dry week with moderate temperatures. Enjoy the sun while you can!
Jim, Weather Wizard
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 415
Hufflepuff: 388
Slytherin: 425
Ravenclaw: 402.5
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 115, 6th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Author's Notices: Thanks to Lemon, Demonic Saiyajin, ChickoftheDarkMoon, Erenriel the Elven Canuck, Katie Black, Silver Meteor, Tonks, and PhoenixGirl1234567. Radix Lecte (hehe...I love the name! thanks!) Cestari (couldn't use your letter becaue Moony rejected it. He doesn't want the entire House to know he's a werewolf.) and hpfreak2001 (Yes, it's kind of an inside joke because Sirius can go to sleep anywhere at any time).
And next edition is an interview with Dumbledore, so what questions would you ask Dumbledore? And the Thought of the Day comes from my site.
OMG! You people all love the Ask Moony column!!! Maybe I'll post another fanfic called 'Ask Moony' for all you Moony lovers. Not today, though, for I have to work and must work tomorrow and the rest of this week....:( But chapter seven is here, so no fear!
-Le petit aliene violet auteur